Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 12:38:27 GMT -5
It's been awhile since I've heard the pro and con sides of this. Does anyone do it? Anyone specifically choose NOT to do it? What's the criteria?
I can see paying for straight A's (or a 4.0 GPA, if they're taking AP courses) because that would be sorta like a performance bonus. Mediocre grades, no way. Unless they get "wages" for doing their "job" (school)?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 25, 2012 12:39:20 GMT -5
I do not plan on paying for grades. They are expected to do their best.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 12:40:38 GMT -5
I do not plan on paying for grades. They are expected to do their best. You know what my reward was for getting good grades? Not getting in trouble.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 12:41:33 GMT -5
My parents would give us a day off from being hit with a switch if we brought home straight A's.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 25, 2012 12:44:54 GMT -5
I was expected to get good grades. I don't plan on paying for grades, I don't know DH's thoughts on the matter.
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deantrip
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Post by deantrip on Jun 25, 2012 12:45:06 GMT -5
I wasn't paid for good grades, even though I got excellent, don't really plan on paying for good grades. I think if one does pay for good grades, then there should also be a financial penalty for bad grades, such as if you go from an A to a B or a C, then the student pays some of the money back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 12:49:03 GMT -5
I paid my kids for good grades
And i would do it again
The numbers changed over the years, but originally it was $ .25 a B, and $ .50 an A (and a bonus of $ 5.00 if it was straight A's) .....at the end those numbers were up to like $ 25.00 for straight A's
Was it a lot of money...no
Was it extra incentive for them....i like to think so
Any grade lower than a "c" auto disqualified them and no money was earned
Nothing better than having your little one bring home a report card, and the kids crowded around as my wife and I paid them at the end of a quarter
And yes...it isnt entirely a fair thing....not everyone puts in the same amount of work for their grade
My middle child had to work her butt off for her B's, while my oldest sailed through with mostly A's putting in half the effort
But the system worked for us
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jun 25, 2012 12:50:48 GMT -5
We never paid for grades. And we had 2 very bright straight A students. There were several reasons. They were "expected" to do well. We thought the motivation for doing well should be something other than money. We knew and told them that they put less effort into getting those As than some kids did into getting mediocre grades. Trust me they complained bitterly about the unfairness of it However, if I had a struggling student who really needed the motivation, I might have done differently.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Jun 25, 2012 12:55:10 GMT -5
My brother and I received and allowance, and that was our payment for good grades. We weren't paid for grades in particular, but our allowance would be cut if we received bad grades. (In my house, a C was a bad grade- I cried the first time I ever got one, in Drama, in high school. For some reason, my mom wasn't upset at all.)
At the moment, I don't plan to pay for grades. However, if we end up with a kid like DH (high intelligence, low motivation), I might consider it. DH is one of the most intelligent people I know, and he got a GED because he had no motivation for school. I'd rather my kid not drop out, so if paying for grades is what I need to do to add the extra motivation, I might. My preference would be to find a different motivation other than straight cash, but by the time you are tying what ever it is directly to the grades received, it's paying for grades.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 25, 2012 13:01:05 GMT -5
My parents didn't pay for grades til I was in HS.
All As (A minuses didn't count) - I got $50 Less than all As - I got the 30 minute "You're not working up to your potential" speech.
I don't have strong feelings either way. I think the not-wanting-to-get-into-trouble motivated me a lot more than the money, but that was more a function of my personality than anything else. I'd say it really depends on the kid.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 25, 2012 13:03:20 GMT -5
We weren't given money for good grades, but there was always a treat when our report cards came in and we had good grades (which was always). When we were little, it was Chuckie Cheese and when we got older it was this really good steak place, but it was our choice (ok my brother and sister's because they were older and they always out voted me and I was along for the ride).
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jun 25, 2012 13:12:27 GMT -5
We weren't given money for good grades, but there was always a treat when our report cards came in and we had good grades (which was always). When we were little, it was Chuckie Cheese and when we got older it was this really good steak place, but it was our choice (ok my brother and sister's because they were older and they always out voted me and I was along for the ride). I like that approach, I might steal it when I have kids. I never got anything for good grades. Then again I never had to work to get A+s either, so I didn't need motivation/bribes or whatever. Grades were never a big deal in my house, but education was. WHAT I learned was a really big deal to my parents, not so much the numbers that were associated with it. There were several times that my parents went in and corrected teaching cirucilums when they were inaccurate. I remember one time there was a mis-identified insect in a bug collection and my father was annoyed and made sure that was straightened out immediately when the teacher failed to correct the error after I reported it. There were other times they may have been working from an older text with outdated information and things like that needed resolving, but grades were never something my parents were particularly worried about.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 25, 2012 13:32:41 GMT -5
I can see both sides of the issue, on one paying for grades (and more for better grades) would better simulate "real life."
On the other hand, there's a lesson to be taught in doing a good job simply because it's your job and it needs to be done. Even if you don't get paid, you still have to do your best at everything you do.
Overall, I would be inclined not to pay.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 25, 2012 13:33:59 GMT -5
My EX, when he wasn't my EX did, only for As and paid ten bucks each for them. But you owed him five if the grade was a B and you got nothing for Cs. Of course my kids never brought home Cs so that was a good thing. Funny thing was, that AP classes counted for more grade so DS said that if he got an A in that, he was owed twenty dollars. EX agreed and paid up. That made for nice bonuses every six weeks! I did not agree with paying for grades but acquiesced. I told the kids that their dad and I did not agree for paying for grades and that adults, even parents did not always agree, but that there was compromise involved. EX paid for those grades out of his pocket and was glad to do it. He felt that school was their job and he got paid for doing a good job and so should they. I felt that school was their job but that I didn't feel it was right about grade paying. But I didn't feel as strong against it as he felt for it so I let it go.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 13:43:19 GMT -5
My middle child had to work her butt off for her B's, while my oldest sailed through with mostly A's putting in half the effort
This would be my biggest concern. Although again, in the real world, two people might get paid the same for the same job even though one person has to work much harder for the expected results.
I'm hoping to model the real world for my kids every chance I get. When they're in middle/high school, school is their job. It makes sense to me to pay them for that, and then to add performance bonuses for exceptional work.
But we'll see.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 25, 2012 13:44:00 GMT -5
I didn't get any money for grades. By the time I was in high school, sometimes I got to pick a restaurant or get an expensive meal the next time we went out, but by then all A's was my usual so they didn't make a big deal out of it.
With regard to money as an incentive to someone that's low motivation - I don't know if that would work. I would think the price would have to be rather high to get someone who could easily do the work to actually do it. Plus, it might cause someone nefarious to slip their grades to then trigger the money motivator for improvement...which leads me to my other point of being consistent. My parents tried to motivate my brother with cash/items when he was doing awful in high school because he just didn't care. It didn't work, though he did graduate despite failing a few classes his senior year. Though it did piss me off a lot because I wasn't given the same opportunity because my grades were already high enough. I would have purposefully screwed up my grades to then having something to improve if I hadn't been so damn set on having the grades to get a scholarship to get me the hell out of dodge.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 13:46:17 GMT -5
On the other hand, there's a lesson to be taught in doing a good job simply because it's your job and it needs to be done. Even if you don't get paid, you still have to do your best at everything you do.
Eh. I'm not sure this one is so realistic, frankly. Yes, there are non-work things that just need to be done but I put varying levels of effort into them depending on HOW important it is that they get done and how much they impact the people around me.
So I see your point but I'm not sure I would expect them to put the same amount of effort into school that they do into, say, mowing the lawn. One is their job and one is something that just needs to get done. And most of us put less effort into the latter.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 25, 2012 13:56:40 GMT -5
I guess it will depend on the kid. I have no shame and will bribe if necessary. I am a firm believe in if you are already doing something, don't waster your time doing it poorly, do it well, bc if not, sooner or later it will cost you. That being said, I have all kinds of parenting philosophies, but at the end of the day, I make that shit up as I go along, close my eyes and pray for the best. And needless to say, saving oodles of money for their future therapy. Or mine. Whichever one of us will need it first Lena
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 14:03:21 GMT -5
I think the material reward system approach only gets one so far in life. Doing one's best, doing a good job, working hard and so forth can be motivated to some extent in that manner. But, in my experience, the motivation must come from within and be internal and a deeper satisfaction of wanting to strive beyond the simple obvious motivation. People adjust. And, they might work hard for the money, but then you adjust and if you do not have a motivating factor beyond that, then i do not think one will be very successful. I don't pay my kids for grades. However, if they have done well, there are times i give them a reward, but not always and it isn't expected. They have to do well simply because they want to do well.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 25, 2012 14:15:15 GMT -5
I have paid for grades before and been paid for good grades before. It's not like DS comes to us with his report card in one hand and holds out the other expecting an influx of cash. We go out to dinner at a place of his choosing to celebrate the completion of the quarter/semester/year. We have given him extra allowance or purchased a video game or something that he had been wanting if he did well on his report card. He knows what is expected out of him. My parents had expectations but never really verbalized them and there were no pats on the head for good grades. Once and awhile Dad would smart off an offer us $100 for straight A's and I'd make him pay up but that's it. DH's mom was too busy screwing her friends' husbands to pay attention to him so there were no discussions about grades or expectations.
We try to treat DS as a fully voting member of the family and discuss the importance of getting good grades and developing good study habits with him. I fully expect fall semester of 9th grade to kick his butt. He hasn't been challenged in school before and registered for a very ambitious course load.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 14:16:51 GMT -5
My kids dont' have "voting" privileges in my house. It ain't no Democracy!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 25, 2012 14:23:11 GMT -5
I don't pay for grades, nor do I pay an allowance. Those are things that I just expect to be done. No ifs ands or buts. But then again, my parenting approach on that type stuff is pretty much "Do what I say or else." On the other hand, I do have some pretty spoiled children and they have pretty much whatever they want within reason.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 15:04:44 GMT -5
I think the material reward system approach only gets one so far in life.I dunno, it's gotten me pretty far...
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 25, 2012 15:55:31 GMT -5
My parents did not pay for grades and I did not pay my children for good grades. To me, the payment for grades defeats the purpose of learning. That is what my boss says about work. I'm not buying that either.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Jun 25, 2012 15:56:08 GMT -5
I can see both sides of the issue, on one paying for grades (and more for better grades) would better simulate "real life." On the other hand, there's a lesson to be taught in doing a good job simply because it's your job and it needs to be done. Even if you don't get paid, you still have to do your best at everything you do. I don't think kids are capable of thinking in complex thought like that. We had a two pronged system. Get a D or lower - you lose the stuff you like the most. When he was younger, it was TV time. When he was in HS, it was his cell phone and video games (never had to actually follow through on this threat, but he knew it was there). On the other hand, if you work hard you get a reward. He got to pick something he wanted - a night at the pizza place, a video game (within reason) etc. I don't think that's very different from real grown up life. If you work hard, you get raises, you get bonuses, etc. If you goof off, you run the risk of getting fired. There is always some carrot and some stick. After all, if you hired salesmen and told them you wouldn't be paying bonuses because you expect them to work as hard as possible all the time just because they ought to, I don't think they'd work that hard for you.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 25, 2012 15:57:15 GMT -5
I remember in 9th grade, a friend coming in grinning and saying "my parents are so desperate to get me to study, that they are going to start paying me for better grades". I remember the payment being pretty darn good. I was at his house after finals and he disappeared and came back with like $100 and said "I went to them and said 'exams are over, can I have some money' and they gave me this". Its not that he was failing or anything, I just think his parents wanted better grades. I honestly can't remember whether he got them.
What I know now that I didn't fully appreciate then, was maybe he was holding out and knew just how long to wait in order to maximize the payoff for his effort. In a sick twisted sense, that is an extremely valuable skill.
ETA: paying for grades seemed common at my school, and in some cases, the kids could owe the parents money if the grades weren't good enough.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2012 15:57:15 GMT -5
DH was offered pay/toys for grades because he was so unmotivated. He told me the problem was that being lazy rewards you every day while pay for grades rewards you twice a year.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jun 25, 2012 15:59:46 GMT -5
My middle child had to work her butt off for her B's, while my oldest sailed through with mostly A's putting in half the effortThis would be my biggest concern. Although again, in the real world, two people might get paid the same for the same job even though one person has to work much harder for the expected results. I'm hoping to model the real world for my kids every chance I get. When they're in middle/high school, school is their job. It makes sense to me to pay them for that, and then to add performance bonuses for exceptional work. But we'll see. With my kids I have done the treat thing with my DD. She is pretty motivated. Her issue is she actually ":relaxes" and her grades drop in the middle of the year. The prize doesn't actually motivate her so much as the punishment. I do still take her out for a treat but no actual money for grades as that just makes her pissed after she misses it. My son is a whole nother ball of wax. He is crazy smart. He doesn't care about money or grades. But have him miss one question on a hundred question test and he is pissed for weeks about it.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2012 16:05:03 GMT -5
My parents did not pay for grades and I did not pay my children for good grades. To me, the payment for grades defeats the purpose of learning.
The "purpose of learning" is what, exactly? To me, money doesn't impact whatever intrinsic value I get from learning.
In other words, learning for the sake of learning is something I don't do for money. When I want to do it, I do it. When I don't, I don't. Easy as that. Money doesn't play into it one way or the other.
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Jun 25, 2012 16:08:50 GMT -5
One of the local high schools pay all seniors upon graduation for their gpa. Now this is a small school. A large class has 50 in it. LOL But those kids can walk out with around $500 to keep up their gpa. I never got paid for anything. Ok, I take that back. I got .25 for losing a tooth. And I think it was only for my first 5. After that it was, eww...throw that away.
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