Ever Wonder How Your Life Would Have Changed If...

[milee]

At 2k10h's request - new thread on a topic from the accounting thread. 2k10h described a situation where he had a very interesting, high risk job opportunity and chose something different. That choice could have changed his life significantly. He wondered how his life would have been different if he'd chosen differently.

I had one that sometimes I think about. When I was with a Big Six firm, one of my biggest clients was purchased by a prominent VC firm. They sent one of the partners in the VC firm to do a turnaround on this client and we worked very closely together for a year. Nothing ever happened, but there was chemistry. It was also a huge rush because we did some acquisitions, spun off some things and turned around operations, which made $100s of millions for the VC firm. Very interesting and exciting.

As he was about to be reassigned to go work for a different client in another state, he offered me a very good job at the VC firm, with a share of future equity. This was right before the tech bubble so the stock market was getting hot and firms like that were starting to make lots of money. I loved that type of work, was good at spotting opportunity and fixing companies and also - if I'm truthful - well, let's just say there was chemistry although we had never even touched each other apart from a handshake in business meetings.

I thought long and hard about the decision and it was clear to me that in between the work itself and the possible personal issues, taking the job would probably be the end of my marriage. I said no.

Sometimes I still read about this company and this particular man in the WSJ and wonder what my life would have been like if I'd said yes...

Now it's your turn. Spill.

[Ava]

There were several points in my life where I have wondered "what if".
One of them was when I decided to move to the U.S. What would my life be like if I had remained in my birth country?
Another one is what if I had chosen a different career path? When I started community college I put Accounting as my major only because my mother said it was a good career and it would be fantastic to get an Accounting Degree. As I progressed through semesters, I never really felt too attracted to accounting, but I could do it, so I carried forward with it.
Then I transferred to the local state university, with all my accounting credits, so I declared Financial Accounting as my major. Now here I am with an Accounting degree. I wonder what if I had chosen something else. What I like most is literature, and reading. I would also like to write a book, but I have no talent for that. I plan to take a creative writing class as personal development as soon as I can.
I would like to be a translator. But I'm an accountant instead.
The last "what if" I can think of is my recent graduation. I have been working as a cafeteria cashier for the last six years. There's a union in there. They recently signed a new contract. With the new contract my hourly wage would be $16,40 in January, working 40 hours a week in a job I already can do with my eyes closed. Decent benefits, three weeks vacation that I used to visit my family every year.
Now I'm starting a new job at a bank. So I wonder what if I had just kept working for the cafeteria instead of going to school. Would my life be easier (no student loans, no starting over, guaranteed vacations) or would I regret it in the long term.
Questions, questions

[quotequeen]

What if I had never joined YM?

I often wonder what my life would be like if I'd chosen a different law school. It's quite possible that every major thing about my life would be different.

[Deleted]

Thirteen years ago, I was divorced and earning $18,000 a year with no benefits . . . not even health insurance. I quit at the end of the teaching year and spent all summer looking for a new job. figuring almost anything paid $18,000 a year.

One of the offers I received was as a legal assistant. I accepted it and then changed my mind because I really wanted to teach. Ironically, he and his brother liked me so much that the brother offered me a job at the online college he had just started. I'd start out doing it all, but he said if it worked out, I could end up "whatever I wanted" from Dean, Director, whatever.

I ended up getting an offer that very day from the really good system where I teach. The money was better, and it is something that I really enjoy doing. But I can't help and wonder sometimes if the online college took off. What if I had taken that chance?

There are other examples, of course, because I am 58 years old and have had several crossroads in that time period. But this one still sticks in my mind.

[servant_of_dog]

I could have married the man who is now a fairly high-ranking pediatrician at a MN hospital. He's doing okay with his "I'd like a diet water!" gorgeous lawyer wife.

I could have gone to the language institute in Monterey, CA, learned Russian, and totally changed the course of my life instead of going AWOL upon graduating BASIC.

I could have stayed married to my first husband instead of leaving him and getting myself where I belong.

I have chosen to be who and where I am because I want to be me here more than I wanted the alternatives, and understood the trade-offs. I think I don't understand the question.

[Waffle]

Two stick out in my mind.

1. Radcliffe sent me an invitation to apply and information about scholarship availability. I in my youthful ignorance and fear, I ignored the letter and went to a small private school in Indiana instead.

2. In 2001, the company I worked for was sold, I accepted a job with the new company because it seemed "safe". I could have taken no job and nearly 2 years worth of severance pay. I bet I would have made a different decision if I had been on YM back then. I could have worked on my own business with the severance pay as a safety net.

[swamp]

I was accepted at West Point. I chose not to go. I'd probably be a Colonel on the edge of retirement now, with a few tours of the Gulf under my belt.

I considered dating a good friend from law school but we opted to remain friends. We would either push each other to achieve great things, both employment wise and athletically, or we'd sit and drink too much. Both of us have a problem with setting boundaries with the other. He ended up with a serious coke problem, so either I'd be there with him, or he wouldn't have had one because generally, I don't go there.

[Deleted]

In late 1982 a recruiter called me about a position in the Brussels office of a major insurance company. I had the credentials they wanted and was working for a company with an international book of business, so it was a logical move- I'm also fluent in French. I'd just met the man who would be my first husband, though, and my bio clock was getting really loud. I figired that if I took the job it would be the end of the relationship (we werent' engaged or anything and he was firmly entrenched in a job in NJ). I didn't want to lose my chance at reproducing so I didn't even interview for it.

The guy who got it was outstanding- he later held Chief Actuary positions in several companies- so he may have beaten me out anyway, but I do wonder what life would have been like had I moved to Brussels. I wouldn't have DS, though, and DS is still a treasure.

[Phoenix84]

Well, I'm not really old enough to have too many "what if" moments. But I have some things to think about.

I do wonder sometimes wonder (and regret) not studying engineering in college instead of physics. I wonder what my career would have been like. I'm sort of doing it now by going back to grad school for engineering.

Other thing is more personal. Was dating a girl a few years ago, we were dating a few months. She wanted to stay in the area and I didn't, and wanted to change jobs and move to a different state. We ended up breaking up over it and I left for a different state. Sometimes I still wonder if we would of ended up being together if I had stayed, but I know deep down I wouldn't have been happy in the northeast and working where I was.

[Deleted]

Jun 16, 2012 15:58:00 GMT -5 Waffle said:

Radcliffe sent me an invitation to apply and information about scholarship availability. I in my youthful ignorance and fear, I ignored the letter and went to a small private school in Indiana instead.

My former BIL, now 70, was a HS student in Ohio when a teacher encouraged him to apply to Harvard because he was so bright. Harvard accepted him- don't know about the finances, but he decided to stick close to home and go to Ohio State. Didn't hurt him any- he and his wife just retired from a business they built together and they're filthy rich (and wonderful, down-to-earth people). Their son's HS college admissions counselor, though, said, "you weren't thinking of future generations when you made that decision, were you?" Son, also bright and driven, went to a series of elite schools for primary and HS and would have been a shoo-in as a legacy at Harvard. He went to Middlebury instead.

[midjd]

I was working as a contractor at my current employer; had been here 6 months or so. I applied for a job at another agency and was granted an interview.

When I went there for the interview, it was possibly the most depressing atmosphere I'd ever experienced. The job sounded AWFUL, paid $40K/year (I was making $55K as a contractor) and I knew I'd hate working there. BUT, it qualified as a "public service" job so that my student loans would be forgiven.

They offered me the job. I agonized over it for a day or so and then declined. I didn't have any permanency as a contractor, but I didn't want permanency if it meant working a job like that.

The next week, my employer offered me a full-time position ;D Still working here and making about 50% more than I would've at the other agency. I do wonder what would have happened if I'd taken that other job... nothing good, I'm sure!

[Taxman10]

what if I had worn a condom that night............................................

[Deleted]

Which night?

[Sam_2.0]

I called off a wedding 10 days before the ceremony. Six months later (to the day), I met my DH.

[Deleted]

I went to a career fair my senior year of college and came across a booth for the NJ Tax Department. They were looking for Investigator Trainees (entry level position). The pay was decent for a "majored in basket weaving" person like myself - I think around $35-40k/year with state benefits. I gave them my information and they sent me a letter asking them to test for the position. My test time and date was 8am the morning following graduation. Since I really wanted to go into law enforcement and didn't want to get up at 5am to drive into Trenton for the test, I opted to cancel it. I often wonder how much better I would be now financially if I had taken the exam.

[happyhoix]

Well, this isn't for me personally, but my DH dated a woman before he dated me. She ended up dumping him in order to start dating a doctor she just met. They ended up getting married and having two kids.

Well, the doctor ended up being a whack job. Literally. They decided to get a divorce, and he gets this idea that she is a satanist. While they're seperated, she starts sending their daughters to a Catholic school, and whack job husband decided Catholic = satanists. Starts telling the people at his practise that his wife is raising their daughters to be witches. He works himself up into such a frenzy he hires some guy to kill her, so he would have custody of the kids.

Of course, he got caught and sent to prison. It was a big messy thing, all over the newspapers and TV. Then this woman gets remarried and they start attending the same church DH and I attend.

And I always wondered, seeing DH and DS and I sitting there, did she ever think to herself "Man I wish I hadn't dumped that guy and take up with the whack job doctor." She would have saved herself worlds of trouble - DH doesn't have the income a doctor would have, but then he's never tried to kill me, either.

Of course, he wasn't married to her, either, maybe if they'd gotten married he would have tried to kill her, too - I hadn't thought about it that way LOL.

[Deleted]

If I would have worked harder in college and actually graduated, I probably would have a job in that field making 1/2 as much as I do now..

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I wonder where I would be career wise if I had not allowed myself to be talked out of moving and had gone to University of Iowa with my former boss. DH really realy did not want to move, to the point of calling off the wedding if I wanted to, so I chose to stay here with him instead.

I don't regret it but since then I've been kinda drifting career wise.

I also wonder what would have happened if I had chosen to major in nursing instead. There is a position known as a "nurse researcher" that I did not even know existed when I was in college. I could have had the stability and better pay that comes with a nursing license and still been able to do research.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

Now it's your turn. Spill.

I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life.

[swamp]

Jun 18, 2012 14:57:37 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Now it's your turn. Spill.

I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life.

You probably shouldn't tell your kids that, though. It would probably hurt their feelings.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

Jun 18, 2012 15:02:45 GMT -5 swamp said:

Jun 18, 2012 14:57:37 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Now it's your turn. Spill.

I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life.

You probably shouldn't tell your kids that, though. It would probably hurt their feelings.

Good point. I knew I read your posts for some reason...

[Phoenix84]

"I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life."

What about not marrying her in the first place?

[Sum Dum Gai]

I don't really do the what if game all that often. My life is a sort of weird conglomeration of accidents and coincidences that always seem to work out pretty well. I figure if I change any one thing it could pretty easily leave me much worse off than I am now. I don't really have any one specific opportunity that I wish I would have chased. I'm still young though. Get back to me in like 20 years.

[shanendoah]

I have little things:
What if I'd done the paperwork to get my full ride scholarship to the University of Alaska and gone there, instead of to my home town university?
What if I'd said yes to the friend (we never actually dated) who proposed to me on multiple occassions? He was going to the Naval Academy, and in many ways, was a much better fit for me than DH.
What if I'd actually gone into the Peace Corps, instead of pulling myself out of the process (after all the paperwork was done and I was just waiting for an assignment)?

But the truth is, I really like my life. I'm really quite happy with how things are and am glad they turned out this way.

[Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ]

Jun 18, 2012 15:29:24 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

"I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life."

What about not marrying her in the first place?

Everyone knows that women will say anything to get married. That is pretty much standard.

[wvugurl26]

There are tons of decisions that I could have made differently. In the end I like where I am at right now and I believe in the butterfly effect.

What if I had done my undergrad in accounting, what if I'd passed the cpa exam sooner, what if I'd done better on the fbi interview, what if I'd gotten the fdic temp position and so on.

[Deleted]

Jun 19, 2012 9:14:11 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Jun 18, 2012 15:29:24 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

"I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life."

What about not marrying her in the first place?

Everyone knows that women will say anything to get married. That is pretty much standard.

SURVEY SAYS???...............................














X

[Waffle]

Jun 18, 2012 15:02:45 GMT -5 swamp said:

Jun 18, 2012 14:57:37 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Now it's your turn. Spill.

I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life.

You probably shouldn't tell your kids that, though. It would probably hurt their feelings. [/quote


Maybe, maybe not. My mother recently said something along the lines of she should have married someone else. My aunt was visibly upset by the comment and quickly said "but then you wouldn't have "waffle". It probably seems geeky, but my mom has been my best friend for years - I know the weird way she has of seperating her marriage from me and the comment didn't bother me at all. It's like she likes to pretend that she never had anything to do with my father. For years, if she referred to him at all it he was "Waffle's father" never "her ex husband". The way she said it you would have thought she had no idea how he became "waffle's father".

[swamp]

Jun 19, 2012 9:14:11 GMT -5 Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ said:

Jun 18, 2012 15:29:24 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

"I should have walked out of my marriage after two weeks. I would have had a much better life."

What about not marrying her in the first place?

Everyone knows that women will say anything to get married. That is pretty much standard.

Previous boyfriend: Let's get married (1988)
Swamp: Are you fucking crazy?

Another boyfriend: Let's get married: (1992)
Swamp: Um, no.

DH: Let's get married. (2000)
Swamp: Let's wait until you finish school

DH: Let's get married: (2001)
Swamp: Let's wait until you finish school.

DH: Let's get married: (2002)
Swamp: My brother is getting married this year, how about next year?

DH: Let's get married: (2003)
Swamp: OK

[busymom]

Wow, there are a lot of different paths I could have taken. Hmmm. There are a couple of jobs I definitely could've done without. Toxic bosses, but I've got friends from those jobs that I'm still in touch with, so those jobs weren't a total loss. Circumstances sometimes require you to take "less than perfect" jobs. (Like wanting to eat, & not wanting to be on gov't assistance, & not wanting to borrow money from relatives.)