Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 27, 2011 12:18:02 GMT -5
I just remembered this story from my sister: When she was pregnant with her second, my nephew (then 5) wanted to to know where babies came from. My brother-in-law is a science teacher, so he gave the whole genetic spiel. My sister asked if he understood and he nodded and said "yeah, mommy swallows the sperm and an egg grows in your belly!" He was so proud of himself.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Jan 27, 2011 13:02:38 GMT -5
The boys and girls were sent to see different movies in the 5th grade, but for the girls it was about body changes. 6th grade we saw the same movie again, and 7th grade science class was about how a girls body grows in various places. Talk about embarassing for everone. The boys laughed and the girls wanted to crawl under the desk. After class the boys wanted to 'see'.
Actual complete information came when I was 19 and married. 1961.
DD got the movies also but the movies had more complete information. I kept up with her supplies and basically told her if she screws around she will end up pregnant. She had several friends that were pregnant in school, and by then everyone sorta shrugged their shoulders.
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Post by marjar on Jan 27, 2011 13:12:44 GMT -5
I posted this on another thread.
A neighbor had a daughter the same age as mine and we were pretty good friends. She was much more conservative than I am, and felt I was too open, too early, with my kid and sex ed. She finally decided it was time to have "the talk" with her daughter. Not only did her daughter know more than the mother realized, she ran and got her Barbie and Ken dolls to show mom the various positions. Ahem.
Another child, whose mother was <gasp> more liberal than I, had given sex ed classes to several of her friends. The child had not been cautioned, as mine had, that this topic was not to be shared among friends. Unless we keep them locked up, we can't protect them all the time.
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cael
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Post by cael on Jan 27, 2011 13:30:12 GMT -5
I don't really remember *when* I found out all about it.... I know that looking up dirty words in the dictionary used to be fun, neighborhood kids would talk about it, and there was the one time we found "The Joys of Sex" in my friend's parents bedroom... lol. Officially - when I was in probably 7th grade, we had this crazy scary hippie do a thing for the girls in my class all about periods and stuff, and the boys did something different. And in 8th grade was my church's AYS (about your sexuality) program, by which point I knew everything and it just provoked snickers. I seriously have no idea how/when I actually found out what sex involved, but since I don't remember, I have a feeling I was pretty young. Parents didn't do more than reinforce what I got at school/church.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 27, 2011 13:37:00 GMT -5
I went to catholic schools. The only time sex was ever mentioned was when the priests and nuns would tell us they were celibate and that we should think about joining the priesthood or convent and never have to worry about sex ever again.
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Post by marjar on Jan 27, 2011 13:58:55 GMT -5
When I told my kid the actual mechanics of it.........she paused, thought, and said, no. There would not be babies if people had to do that in order to make them. A close paraphrase of her response.
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Post by cavia on Jan 27, 2011 20:24:46 GMT -5
I was 14 years old and extremely innocent. I was, however, very science oriented and picked up my mother's copy of The Medical Encyclopedia of Health (can't quite remember the title) which I'm sure was from the sixties. Chapter 7 or 8 was titled How to have a Happy Marriage - The author was clearly talking to the groom and explaining that his new wife would be very nervous so it was important to be gentle. Then it began to explain the missionary position in some detail. I had to read it twice because I was horrified and quite sure I missed something. Then it went on to explain how to carry out several other positions. It completely grossed me out. The next chapter was Your Healthy Baby
My parents never discussed sex with me. When I got my period my father came into the room and said, you've got to be careful around boys now. I was 13 and had no clue what he was talking about.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 27, 2011 21:42:30 GMT -5
The girls saw a movie in 5th grade about periods. In 8th grade, we saw one about venereal diseases. That one was down right scary, but I didn't know how you got one. I am now 59 and my mother has yet to tell me about sex. My sister said she asked her when she got back from her honeymoon if she had any questions. I've never married, so she's never asked me. I did figure it out on my own.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 27, 2011 21:52:22 GMT -5
oh this thread makes me lol...
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jan 27, 2011 22:00:06 GMT -5
My friend was an only child and another kid told her about sex in graphic words. She ran home and asked her mother if it was true and her mother said she wouldn't have put it that way but it was true. She said she was glad her parents only had to do it once and her aunt not at all.
When her daughters were the age she needed to talk to them she explained that it might hurt and if it did to see a doctor. She was built so sex as very painful until after she had her first baby and didn't want the girls to deal with that.
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Post by marjar on Jan 27, 2011 22:28:35 GMT -5
When mine was 3, she asked how babies are made. I gave her an age appropriate explanation - two people love each other and the mommy has a egg, etc. She was frustrated with my explanation and wanted to know what tools the daddy used - did he use a screwdriver and a drill.
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Post by tiredturkey on Jan 27, 2011 22:29:44 GMT -5
My mother's idea of "The Talk" was that all men were evil monsters that hurt you. Sometime in the 4th or 5th grade I discovered the anatomically correct statues in our school library encyclopedias and a few years later discovered the wonder of long hot baths. Or long cold baths. Or any time with the bathroom door locked. We had a lot of pregnant girls in my middle school in the late 60's. I was pretty naive but I knew what it meant when my classmates spent the summer with their dear auntie in Iowa. I also knew what caused that problem (no thanks to my mother or my school) and made sure it didn't happen to me. I was on the pill by sixteen-Mom thought it was for my killer cramps. I didn't have sex for a few years after but knowing I could do so without fear of pregnancy was very empowering. DH and I chose not to have kids so I didn't have to deal with explaining the birds and bees to any offspring, but I think I would have been very direct about it. No one should have to hear the BS that passed for sex ed in my time and household. Sex is awesome but carries consequences like most things in life and I don't think the average 13-15 year old is quite ready to deal with the consequences. I had an issue a couple of years back when I worked with high school kids at my church because we have a bisexual member who felt young people should fully explore their sexuality at an early age because her rigid upbringing prevented her from being comfortable with her sexual orientation until much later in life. I heard her voice but I'm not sure that the average 14 year old can handle all the issues involved in same sex sexual relationships, much less GLBT choices. Disease and pregnancy are only part of the issues; self image, intimacy, and yes, societal acceptance, are all part of the package.
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Post by stantonjane on Jan 28, 2011 1:06:53 GMT -5
I was in 7th or 8th grade. I had just finished listening to a smutty playground joke that I pretended to understand when I pulled my girfriend over and asked what the actual business was about. She summed it up in about 2 sentences and I figured out more of the details borrowing my dad's dirty magazines on the sly over the next few years. I did not practise it until I was almost 19 and out of highschool. The only thing my mom told me about sex was 'if you come home pregnant don't bother coming home.'
We had a 'healthy body' session in 5th grade where they separated the boys and girls during the part of the film which showed a diagram of a woman's ovaries and explained the menstrual process. Sex itself was not mentioned, tho perhaps the boys were informed of wet dreams, etc. Very rural conservative school. Same thing in high school, I maybe knew of a handful of girls who 'got into trouble,' and of them, only one or two came back to school. We did not have a sex ed class there, but we had an optional planned parenting type meeting you could sign up with in a small classroom environment with the school nurse.
For my daughters I gave them a watered down version of upcoming puberty and basic sex function and a book to explain any more they wanted to know at 9-10 years old. In fifth grade our school sytem sends home the notes asking if the student will be allowed to go to a 'body health' class, which covered changing body functions. The sex ed class is I believe in the Sophomore year of high school. This is So Cal and a way different generation, so there's more openness about the need for educating students. I do wonder if it encourages and tolerates early sexual exploration, but there's a question for the ages.
Tex-Tom, your story about the condom box is funny and sad. I'm sure it was very embarrassing at your party.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Jan 28, 2011 9:53:29 GMT -5
I can clearly remember two incidents involving sex education from my mom (never got any sex talks from my dad, thankfully!) Incident 1 - When I was about 10 or 11 (in the early 90s), my mom bought me a book geared to pre-teens that was all about sex, love and babies. I read that book over and over and over again (especially the part that gave step by step instructions on how to actually have intercourse, from foreplay, to snuggling afterward, tee hee!! ) and I was very thankful to have the info in book form to consult whenever I had a question rather than having to actually TALK to my mom or dad about it lol. Incident 2 - When I was about 12, there was some TV commercial with girls talking about how they wanted to be doctors or lawyers or whatever when they grow up, and how a teenage pregnancy would totally ruin all that. At the end of the commercial, one of the girls proudly announced "And that's why I'm waiting till I'm married to have sex!" One day, my mom walked through the room at the exact moment that line was playing, and she turned to me and said "That's a good idea!". I remember laughing at her...Even as a 12 year old I knew I probably wouldn't be the type to "wait" - probably because I knew how to protect myself from unwanted pregnancy, thanks to the book she bought me in Incident 1! I don't have any kids of my own yet, but when I do, I plan on being as open and honest as possible, without traumatizing them. I haven't quite figured out how I will achieve this...I suppose it will depend on what kind of personality my kid has...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2011 17:18:04 GMT -5
I heard the bare minimum from my mom. I was probably 10 or 11 and the coversation only happened because she found me using her maxi pads for barbie doll beds. They were perfect!
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AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Jan 28, 2011 19:47:02 GMT -5
How old was I when I *thought* I learned about sex, or how old was I when I actually found out? I guess I had "some idea" when I was 8 or so. I didn't really put it all together until sex ed which was 5th grade for us (end of 4th grade maybe- somewhere in the 9 - 10 range). At that point, my mom- who is a registered nurse- emphasized all the consequences. Pregnancy, STD's, financial ramifications of each. When I was in high school GRID came onto the radar (Gay-Related Immune Deficiency) which we all know today as "Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome today. So, that was like a second sex ed and "safe sex" became a very big deal at that point.
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TD2K
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Post by TD2K on Jan 28, 2011 20:41:35 GMT -5
I also found "Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex", that was a great book. After that, it was just a matter of finding someone wanted to say yes also
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jan 28, 2011 21:20:29 GMT -5
I am now 59 and my mother has yet to tell me about sex. __________________ Ha, me too! She will speak about it obliquely but she never did give me the sex talk (though I did get the period talk at age 10 or so). I had quite a few misconceptions (didn't realize babies came out of the FRONT hole until age 11 - 12... it seemed physically impossible (still does )) but my aunt is a nurse and my friend's mom had a lot of romance novels with Fabio on the cover, so I had things mostly figured out by 4th or 5th grade. Oh, and my parents divorced when I was 13 and my dad left behind a LOT of Penthouse magazines in the back of the closet... I used to sneak in there and read the "Dear Penthouse..." letters
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phil5185
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Post by phil5185 on Jan 29, 2011 17:41:00 GMT -5
I was 8 or 10. My Dad & Uncle bought a new boar hog, we unloaded him and put him with Uncle's sows. Dad & Uncle leaned on the fence to see if the boar was any good. And I remember the light coming on in my head - and asking them if people did that same thing - so they did the explanation.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2011 18:13:15 GMT -5
I used to stay after school and sometimes weekends at my grandmother's in the late 1960s. It was the time of the big O debate (as in did women have them) so women's magazines like Good Housekeeping, Redbook, etc. were full of "sex" articles. But I didn't put 2 and 2 together until I went to college. I was only 17, had never dated, and my roomie had the "sex talk" with me. It wasn't about where babies came from because I knew that. It was about how far you could go on a first date, etc. This was 1971 when "nice" girls didn't necessarily kiss on the first, second, or even third date. Welcome to my world.
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Jan 29, 2011 18:36:02 GMT -5
Just after i got married and was getting ready to leave With my new husband, my mom pulled me aside and asked if I wanted her to wait up for me in case I didnt like it and wanted to come home.
She didnt tell me what i might not like and i hadnt the heart to tell her that i had known the mechanics since about age five--i read voraciously from a young age--although it wasnt until i was about 13 that i understood WHY anyone would want to do such things.
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dcmetrocrab
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Post by dcmetrocrab on Jan 30, 2011 13:26:02 GMT -5
Hmm.. actually I don't remember what age! I vaguely recall a sex ed talk at school where the boys/girls had to attend separately, maybe in 6th grade? 5th? It was pretty clinical and didn't describe what sex really was if that makes any sense. My parents never mentioned it other than I better not be doing any of it and making me avert my eyes when it showed up on TV or movies.
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