Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 17:29:26 GMT -5
Just wondering. How do you handle money in your relationship? Is there Mine, Yours and Ours? Do you have seperate accounts? Do you allow or not allow differing levels of spending based on who is earning more? Or, do you just have one big pot?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 7, 2012 17:32:41 GMT -5
What's mine is mine and what's his is mine and what's ours is mine. We made it simple so he can't get confused. Seriously - It's all in one big pot. Which is mine.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 17:34:12 GMT -5
So, in other words, keep it equal but make sure us gals get to be a little More equal! lol ;D
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 7, 2012 17:39:37 GMT -5
Exactly! ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2012 17:40:58 GMT -5
Sounds right to me! ;D
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Jun 7, 2012 17:42:25 GMT -5
Yours, mine and ours - yes, yes and yes. We each put our incomes into separate accounts (we each have checking and savings) that we alone manage because we like it that way. I never touch his accounts and he never touches mine. HOWEVER, technically they are all joint accounts that either of us could access in a real emergency situation (earthquake, fire, carnage, death . . .).
Separate accounts saves soooooooooo many fights . . . . :-)
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Saving4Norway
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Post by Saving4Norway on Jun 7, 2012 17:46:58 GMT -5
I'm the same as kittensaver. Don't forget the zombies!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 7, 2012 17:51:35 GMT -5
What's mine is ours and what's hers is hers. And as long as I shut up about it everyone is happy. Or something like that.
Eh... it works for us.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jun 7, 2012 17:59:09 GMT -5
We each have a separate checking where our paychecks are deposited. Then we have a 3rd joint checking where all bills get paid out of. After money is put into the bill account, we use what's left in our separate checking accounts to buy gas & groceries. That way we know if we want to buy something we only have to check one account & not worry if someone else has purchased something or not.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Jun 7, 2012 18:02:54 GMT -5
We each have a separate checking where our paychecks are deposited. Then we have a 3rd joint checking where all bills get paid out of. After money is put into the bill account, we use what's left in our separate checking accounts to buy gas & groceries. That way we know if we want to buy something we only have to check one account & not worry if someone else has purchased something or not. Interesting. We never bothered with the third account. I pay the bills assigned to me and he pays the bills assigned to him (we have an equitable split of the bills based on our incomes). For very large bills like the mortgage and insurance, we simply put 2 checks in the envelope - or for electronic payment, one transfers funds to the other and that person posts the electronic payment.
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savecents
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Post by savecents on Jun 7, 2012 18:07:47 GMT -5
We have a separate checking account each, but these are mostly for personal expenses -- gifts, personal hobbies the other person doesn't share, etc. Each of us keeps about $200/month in our personal accounts and don't ask the other person about how it is spent.
Most of our post tax/post retirement accounts money goes into the joint checking account for household expenses, food, rent, gas etc. Practically everything gets paid out of there. Right now it's mostly me putting my paycheck in as DH just graduated from grad school and is job hunting, he contributes some funds to the joint account but not as much as I do.
We have a joint savings we use as a slush fund/ emergency fund.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 7, 2012 20:21:10 GMT -5
It all goes in one account, and I divvy it up from there.
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redwagon
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Post by redwagon on Jun 7, 2012 20:48:53 GMT -5
It all goes in one joint account out of which I pay bills and we grocery shop, etc. We each get $100 - $150 a month in "fun money" that gets sent to our individual accounts, and we can spend without questions. I think we both have individual savings accounts too that are leftover from before we got together. Mine rarely has more than $100 in it but it makes me feel better to have a little personal cushion. He makes more than I do but spends much less on himself so he'd never ask for more fun money. He'd rather our money went into the house or a vacation or something together. Plus I do ALL the finances. He hates dealing with money. He jokes that I could be robbing him blind but I'm a good girl.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jun 7, 2012 23:03:45 GMT -5
We have a joint checking account and a joint savings account at CU.
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twinmama85
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Post by twinmama85 on Jun 8, 2012 0:07:03 GMT -5
All of our accounts are joint and we each know what is going on with the money. It forces us to communicate and has actually improved our marriage because there is no, "well, you spent all your money, too bad" kind of thing going on. Plus its easier...now we each get fun money that is budgeted and he can do with as he pleases.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Jun 8, 2012 6:54:38 GMT -5
Be VERY careful of ONLY having joint accounts, even w/right of survivorship. If one account holder dies it can freeze any/all accounts until after the estate goes thru probate.
I am OLD (66). Like my parents, late DH & I basically had joint accounts for everything BUT we each had a separate, in our name only (w/a POD-pay on death) designation for our personal spending money.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 8, 2012 7:51:34 GMT -5
1 big pot.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 8:05:35 GMT -5
That is incorrect. A joint account goes to the surviving joint tetant upon death of the other tenant.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 8:08:51 GMT -5
Same here.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 8, 2012 8:53:49 GMT -5
One big pot. That's the way we did it back when we were 21 and just got married and the way we do it now nearly 16 years later. Some years I make more than him some years he has made more than me. It all evens out in the end. We have never felt the need to keep things separate
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 8, 2012 9:09:46 GMT -5
IT'S ALL MINE. (insert evil laugh). I really don't think that way. I promise. DH gets equal say in how spend our money. But it is all one big pot. We use to have some seperate checking accounts that we didn't use, but when they started charging fees, we said forget this. So all of our accounts are joint. DH doesn't want to mess with things so it makes it easier for me just to do it.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 9:11:45 GMT -5
It all goes in one account, and I divvy it up from there. Same for us. DH went ahead and added me to his account the day after marriage and we closed my bank account. Its been that way ever since.
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twinmama85
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Post by twinmama85 on Jun 8, 2012 9:32:42 GMT -5
That is incorrect. A joint account goes to the surviving joint tetant upon death of the other tenant. Besides, that is what a Will is for
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dakota4600
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Post by dakota4600 on Jun 8, 2012 10:23:11 GMT -5
Joint only- We combined shortly after getting married (6 years ago this Sunday!!!). I'm the CFO and at first we had monthly financial meetings, but DH isn't interested and he trusts that I will let him know if a problem develops. If he wants to make a big purchase he runs it by me first. We've basically agreed that anything over $200 needs spousal notification first or if it will be an ongoing expense. Neither of us our big spenders, so it isn't a problem. Knock on wood we haven't argued about money yet.
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Clever Username
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Post by Clever Username on Jun 8, 2012 13:56:24 GMT -5
Separate accounts saves soooooooooo many fights . . . . :-) This is what I don't understand. What is there to fight about? If the fights are about spending, separate accounts probably encourage the spending. If ignorance of the spending avoids the fight, you probably should have actually finished the fight in the first place and agreed on the spending. If there is a real disagreement about the spending, you should be fighting, although civilly.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Jun 8, 2012 14:04:33 GMT -5
Separate accounts saves soooooooooo many fights . . . . :-) This is what I don't understand. What is there to fight about? If the fights are about spending, separate accounts probably encourage the spending. If ignorance of the spending avoids the fight, you probably should have actually finished the fight in the first place and agreed on the spending. If there is a real disagreement about the spending, you should be fighting, although civilly. Oh lol where to begin . . . A woman's blouse shouldn't cost any more than $10 (because after all, that's what a polo shirt costs at JC Penney) A pair of women's shoes shouldn't cost any more than $25 (ditto above) What's wrong with our bath towels? So what if they're 16 years old and threadbare because we use them everyday . . . Face cream costs WHAT?!?!? I could go on, but I'm sure you get the idea. We agree on the "big stuff" and don't fight over the mortgage, bills, where to live, etc etc, but I just don't want some GUY (as much as I love him) telling what I can and cannot buy with my discretionary money.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 8, 2012 14:30:16 GMT -5
Ok maybe my husband and I are just plain weird because we have never had a single conversation or argument like the one your are describing. It may help that I hate clothes shopping and only do it out of necessity but still. If I went home today and told my husband I thought we needed new towels for the bathroom he would ask if I wanted to run to Kohls or Penny's to look at our options and price them out.
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on Jun 8, 2012 14:55:31 GMT -5
I kept joint accounts with husbands 1 and 3- and they both managed to keep lots and lots of cash on the side. Husband 2 and I had separate accounts because he had a business and he was terrible with money.
Please don't ask how I got tangled up with 3 bad marriages.
When I meet Prince Charming- we WILL have all of the financial details worked out BEFORE marriage is even sniffed at.
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Clever Username
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Post by Clever Username on Jun 8, 2012 15:49:38 GMT -5
This is what I don't understand. What is there to fight about? Oh lol where to begin . . . A woman's blouse shouldn't cost any more than $10 A pair of women's shoes shouldn't cost any more than $25 What's wrong with our bath towels? Face cream costs WHAT?!?!? I get it, this is exactly what I figured you meant. But my point is rather than use deception as a way to handle this, why didn't you actually finish the original fight? At the end of that fight, you'd agree upon the right level of spending. If it came up again 9 months later if he'd forgotten what the normal price of stuff was, you wouldn't have a new fight, you'd remind him of his old agreement. Single best way to shut me up if I'm about to start fighting is to hold up an invisible tape recorder and play back my own words for me.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Jun 8, 2012 16:01:27 GMT -5
Oh lol where to begin . . . A woman's blouse shouldn't cost any more than $10 A pair of women's shoes shouldn't cost any more than $25 What's wrong with our bath towels? Face cream costs WHAT?!?!? I get it, this is exactly what I figured you meant. But my point is rather than use deception as a way to handle this, why didn't you actually finish the original fight? At the end of that fight, you'd agree upon the right level of spending. If it came up again 9 months later if he'd forgotten what the normal price of stuff was, you wouldn't have a new fight, you'd remind him of his old agreement. Single best way to shut me up if I'm about to start fighting is to hold up an invisible tape recorder and play back my own words for me. Thanks for the suggestions - but our fights are now (literally) decades behind us. Separate accounts ended them. And I didn't then and don't now use deception . . . we agreed that as long as we agree on the "big" lifestyle spending stuff (where to live, the size of the mortgage, when to get a new car, cable/no cable etc etc etc) we could each spend our discretionary money however we wanted. I don't micromanage him and a separate account was the best way to get him to stop micromanaging me - and he agreed with this.
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