Helping the homeless...

[The Captain]

So I went back to working downtown Chicago around 5 Months ago and was immediately reminded of a few things I'd forgotten from my last time working downtown...

Like I can't walk from the train station to my office building without at least 5-7 people asking for money. When I step out for lunch it's usually 2-3. When I'm downtown it's easier to say you can't help because if I gave 5 to everyone soon I'd need a second job

What caught me off guard was when I got off the train in my station after work in the far off burbs and was approached by someone in the parking lot. I wasn't prepared for this and felt really guilty but told the guy no. I don't typically carry a lot of cash and didn't want to go getting my purse out when alone with him in an empty parking lot.

Now I feel kinda crummy. The folks downtown are the same ones you see day after day (year after year, some I recognize from my last stint downtown) and nothing about their situation ever changes. The guy in my parking lot, maybe not so much so. He may be down on his luck and just need some help.

With all the social services we have available it appears it's the men who get hit the hardest because they usually don't have the services for the kids to prop them up.

Don't know why he's bothering me so much, but I wish I had done something...

[resolution]

That a tough call. There is really no way to know if people are really in need or if they are just looking for some quick cash.

I usually do the opposite where I will give to someone downtown that is obviously mentally handicapped, like they are covered in urine and in no state to look for work. The people I have seen in the suburbs are usually dressed better than I am and have brand new backpacks without a spot of dirt on them. One woman drove up to me in a fancy SUV that was easily three times the price of my car. Maybe they have already gone through their stuff to see what would sell, but I tend to give less to them and more to the guy that has been in his same clothes for six months.

[Tiny]

Being approached in a parking lot by a stranger asking for money/monetary help - would set off all my "Danger" buzzers (I'm a city girl - cold cruel and heartless). Someone asking if I'd call a tow service - or the police or to call someone for them - ie saying the phone number to call I'd be suspicious and alert but I would most likely attempt to help them...most likely by telling them I'd make the call and then moving to a more populated area to make the call. In the first case - asking for money (because out of gas, to get a train ticket, to get a meal, whatever) I'd be highly likely NOT to help - in fact i'd be keeping some distance (remember that Danger Buzzer going off in my head?).

If it sounded/looked like the person was running a scam - ie, they wouldn't want me to call for tow (for their disabled vehicle) or call someone to help them - if they just wanted the $$ to buy 'gas' or whatever - I'd probabaly call the police as soon as it was safe to do so.

Spring is a popular time in Chicago (and Chicagoland) for the scam artists to be out - the 'mom' with 2 kids in a disabled vehicle who just needs $$ so she can walk down to the gas station and get gas.... and any variation of that you can think of. That vehicle starts up mighty quick if a cop drives by... yes, I'm old and jaded.

[Deleted]

I never ever ever ever give to someone asking on the streets. If you want to help the homeless do what we do, give to organizations that feed or provide shelter.

[midjd]

Spring is a popular time in Chicago (and Chicagoland) for the scam artists to be out - the 'mom' with 2 kids in a disabled vehicle who just needs $$ so she can walk down to the gas station and get gas.... and any variation of that you can think of. That vehicle starts up mighty quick if a cop drives by... yes, I'm old and jaded.

That happened to me a couple of weeks ago - a guy came up to me while I was pumping gas and asked me if I could put his gas on my card, he didn't have any money, his young kids were in the car, etc. Usually I'd feel bad about saying no, but all my danger buzzers were going off. Plus his car was way newer/nicer than mine

And then last week someone came up to me AT THE ATM and asked me for cash, right after I'd made a withdrawal. That bugged me, too. Was I supposed to give a $20? I'm 5'2" with shoes on, I do NOT like it when people approach me and ask for money, especially when there aren't many other people around, especially when the people asking are a lot bigger than me and invading my personal space.

[zibazinski]

That stuff is just wrong. I'd have told the bank. There are stores I frequent that have these issues and you tell management and they deal with it. The parking lot is the latest place. You need to always be aware but even more so now. I park my car even where there are no other cars or close as in very front or the first space next to the handicap.

[raeoflyte]

I was getting my son in his car seat after dark, parked outside my friends house when a guy said, 'excuse me, I need some help'. He had stopped quite a ways from my car, and he probably did need help, but it scared the ever loving shit out of me. I know we have to be aware at all times, but it's pretty hard to get a kid buckled into a seat while doing 360 sweeps of the area. I didn't like that he approached me alone after dark either.

I have given people bus passes before when they ask in a situation that I feel safe in.

[Driftr]

I don't hand money out to people on the street.

If I were working somewhere and had frequent contact with people in the same general area day after day who asked for money I'd do research to find the nearest shelter and soup kitchen, draw up a map, indicate the locations on it, make copies, and hand them out to each person who asked.

[Angel!]

Apr 27, 2012 10:49:52 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I know we have to be aware at all times, but it's pretty hard to get a kid buckled into a seat while doing 360 sweeps of the area.

I hate this. When you are taking a young kid in or out of the car you have to have your back to everything for a minute or two & depending on the situation I sometimes feel very vunerable.

I will occassionally give money to someone depending on the situation or my mood. I had a very young woman once come up to me with a baby asking if I would pay her motel bill for the night. I talked to her quite a bit & asked her if she had diapers & formula & clothes for the kid. I wanted to offer her some non-monetary help, but she said she was fine for all those things & only needed her bill paid. I declined & later found out she had hit up both my bosses & her story was different each time. One of my bosses is a sucker & walked over & paid the bill for her

[Phoenix84]

Yeah, if you're a childless man between the ages of 18 and 65 there's virtually no help out there for you except for homeless shelters.

I've got mixed feelings about panhandling. I usually try to give them something even if it's a couple of bucks, but I know some people do it for a "career" and I hear some of them can get really pushy and agressive.

[Phoenix84]

I usually don't carry much cash on me either, and when I do it's usually 20's. And yeah, that would creep me out too if someone came up to me right after making a withdrawl from a ATM.

[skweet]

"Yeah, if you're a childless man between the ages of 18 and 65 there's virtually no help out there for you except for homeless shelters."

Is that a fact? I honestly don't know, but was under the assumption that homelessness was a choice that American's have the right to make, but not a certain, unfortunate situation that is unavoidable. Welfare is not available? I thought you just had to have a need and an address, which seems like a catch 22 until you realize that you can choose to apply before you lose your home, or can use a shelter until you get your assistance money.
I am understanding of the mental disabilities that often lead to homelessness, but am torn about whether homelessness is worse than having your rights taken away by forced institutionalization (a solution to homelessness in non-free countries). I am sorry for the addicted, but don't really feel like helping them out, as I see personal responsibility to their situation. Probably wrong to think that way, but I just don't feel guilty passing a pan-handler without acknowledging his existence.

[dancinmama]

I donate to the food pantries regularly, but if/when I do help someone on the street I give them ONLY food or water. Cash can be turned into drugs, alcohol, or tobacco.

[Angel!]

Apr 27, 2012 12:18:31 GMT -5 skweet said:

Welfare is not available?

Welfare is pretty limited to anyone childless. I think foodstamps is limited to like 3 months if you have no employment. Around here subsidized housing has a huge waiting list, in fact I think it is so bad they stopped adding people to the list.

I think for most homeless it is a combination of mental health issues & addiction. Most people have friends or family or church they could turn to for a short time anyway, so homeless people have generally burned through all those bridges & no one wants to help them anymore.

[midjd]

I am understanding of the mental disabilities that often lead to homelessness, but am torn about whether homelessness is worse than having your rights taken away by forced institutionalization (a solution to homelessness in non-free countries).

It is a tough one. MIL and my aunt work in a state mental institution (MIL is a housekeeper, my aunt is a psych nurse). The number of patients has decreased by about 90% since the 70s, paralleling the decrease in funding. Most are severely handicapped, or only stable if on a strict regimen of psychotropic drugs, and their families are unable/unwilling to care for them, so once discharged they usually do end up homeless (or imprisoned). Both my aunt and MIL have expressed some major concerns about a few patients who were released despite their extremely violent behavior toward other residents while unmedicated.

I'm not sure what those who are released would prefer - or if they even have the mental capacity to choose one fate over the other - but I'd say I'd rather have a bed to sleep in and a warm meal 3x per day in exchange for my freedom rather than trying to scrape by on the street. But I don't know.

[skweet]

"I'm not sure what those who are released would prefer - or if they even have the mental capacity to choose one fate over the other - but I'd say I'd rather have a bed to sleep in and a warm meal 3x per day in exchange for my freedom rather than trying to scrape by on the street. But I don't know. "

I generally feel that I would give up my life before willingly giving up freedom. But homeless people encroach on my right to walk down the street unharrassed. Like everyone I have moments where I think it would be nice to have the freedoms I enjoy, but take away others' freedoms that I find annoying (making me either a Republican or Democrat, depending on which freedoms tick me off), but then I come back to the realization that I can just ignore the homeless, and let them be who they are, without it affecting who I am.

[cronewitch]

I would like to see homeless camps outside the cities where land is cheap. Shelter in the city is fine for short term homeless but long term homeless could be put in barracks and feed in a mess hall. Free to come and go as they please not prisoners. If they have meds to take they could be a condition of staying, handed out at meals.

[Sum Dum Gai]

I don't give to panhandlers. I will occasionally give a lift to a hitchhiker though.

[Steady As She Goes]

Apr 27, 2012 12:20:27 GMT -5 dancinmama said:

I donate to the food pantries regularly, but if/when I do help someone on the street I give them ONLY food or water. Cash can be turned into drugs, alcohol, or tobacco.

I do the same ... food or water ... no cash. I've even bought them food and sat down and talked to them. Most I talk to just want to be acknowlwdged in some way ... not ignored.

[Phoenix84]

"Is that a fact? I honestly don't know, but was under the assumption that homelessness was a choice that American's have the right to make, but not a certain, unfortunate situation that is unavoidable."

Well, it's not definitive proof, but I looked into food stamps when I was unemployed in 2010. Unless you had kids or a family, it was virtually impossible to get any food stamps.

[Phoenix84]

Often the mental illness will go hand in hand with illegal drug use as they will try to self medicate with illegal drugs.

[chiver78]

Apr 27, 2012 16:39:09 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I don't give to panhandlers. I will occasionally give a lift to a hitchhiker though.

seriously?

[midjd]

I used to pick up hitchhikers, DH won't let me do it anymore

It's surprising how many people use hitchhiking as their sole mode of transportation. Most of the ones I talked to had lost their licenses through DUI and found it easy enough to get rides when they needed them. My hometown is on a river and there's no pedestrian access on the bridge, so I'd take people across pretty frequently.

Ah, to be young and fearless... even without DH's prohibition I doubt I'd pick up a hitchhiker these days. Maybe I value my life more now than I did back then

[weltschmerz]

I used to pick up hitchhikers when I would have one of my pitbulls in the car, but not now. I do try to help folks out with food or small amounts of cash and I always travel with dog food in the car. We have some homeless kids with dogs. It seems to be very much appreciated.

[zibazinski]

It's a pity ploy. It works.

[weltschmerz]

Apr 28, 2012 10:31:16 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Apr 28, 2012 10:28:51 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

I used to pick up hitchhikers when I would have one of my pitbulls in the car, but not now. I do try to help folks out with food or small amounts of cash and I always travel with dog food in the car. We have some homeless kids with dogs. It seems to be very much appreciated.

Homeless people owning dogs is something I've never understood.
If you can't care for yourself, why should you be trying to care for a dog?

Regardless of WHY they have a dog, the dog still has to eat. It's not the dog's fault the owner is an idiot.

[quotequeen]

Even downtown, I've noticed more well dressed, clean cut types asking for money. They usually have a story about losing a wallet and not being able to get back to the suburbs or something. They offer to let you take down their information from their driver's license and they'll return the money the next day. I've never figured out what exactly I'm supposed to do with this driver's license information to get my money back.

[weltschmerz]

Sometimes, it's the only friend a homeless person has. I figure it's not hurting me to pick up some dented cans of dog food for a quarter apiece from the grocery store.
The kids really do appreciate it.

[TheOtherMe]

I give to the homeless by donated to local charities, not to an individual asking on the street.

It is not to impossible for an adult with no child under 18 to qualify for any kind of services unless they have a mental disability.

I had a friend who ended up renting a room by the week in a smelly boarding house because of this. It was the cheapest home she could find. She was afraid all the time she lived there. She has no job skills as her goal in life has been to be a wife and homemaker. She married at 18 and had 2 children and got her dream. Marriage ended. No job skills or jobs making minimum wage. When she had jobs making minimum wage, she couldn't afford rent for an apartment. She married a second time a few years ago and moved South with her husband. Now that marriage is ending and I have no idea of what she is going to do.

I did learn my lesson last time. I will not do all kinds of research for her on where she can go locally to apply for food stamps, housing, etc. because she never followed up on anything I advised her to try. Always said she didn't think they would help her but never actually did anything.

[cronewitch]

The dog is fine and gets plenty of good food. We were leaving home and stopped at 7-11 when we saw a beggar with a dog sitting outside. We went home and got some dog food and biscuits for the dog. The man said his dog had plenty of food everyone wants to feed the dog. So the dog has a man who spends all day with him, eats good and sees lots of people. The beggar isn't providing for himself or his dog so it cost him nothing to keep him. Assuming the dog likes him he would be worse off being turned in to the dog pound.