You should change your nick ta Jake the Peg.
Then you could sing this song....
I'm Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With my extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
Wherever I go through rain and snow,
The people always let me know:
There's Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With his extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
The day that I was born, oh boy, my father nearly died.
He couldn't get my nappies on, no matter how he tried,
'Cause I was born with an extra leg, and since that day begun,
I had to learn to stand on my own three feet,
Believe me that's no fun.
I'm Jake the peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With my extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um,
Wherever I go through rain and snow,
The people always let me know:
There's Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With his extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
I had a dreadful childhood, really,
I s'pose I shouldn't moan,
Each time they had a three legged race,
I won it on my own.
And also I got popular,
When came the time for cricket,
They used to roll my trousers up,
And use me for the wicket.
I'm jake the peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With my extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
Wherever I go through rain and snow,
The people always let me know:
There's Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With his extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
I was a dreadful scholar,
I found all the lessons hard,
The only thing I knew for sure was three feet make a yard.
To count to ten I used my fingers,
If I needed more,
By getting my shoes and socks of,
I could count to twenty-four.
(Pause...count: 1 2 3 4 5....) To twenty-five!
I'm jake the peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With my extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
Whatever I did they said was false,
They said 'Quick march,' I did a quick waltz.
Then they shouted at me 'Put your best foot forward.'
'But which foot?' I said.
'It's very fine for you, you only got a choice of two, but me!
I'm jake the peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With my extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
Meh, I'll just pretend it's something else so I can still laugh when I see it.
