Fresh Start February Controlled No Spend!

[3catslady]

update; 10 NSD, 1 EOD.
I have noticed that we are not as chatty as we used to be. A couple of months ago we would have 7-10 pages filled but we only have 3 right now. Sometimes I miss out chattiness.

[mizbear]

3cats- I will start talking more once we get everything done. I honestly am running in circles right now and don't have time to talk to myself (the voices in my head are starting to feel lonely ).

About to go kick DM back into gear in a few minutes.

[3catslady]

It is not just you, mizbear, but there are a few that are no longer with us here. The ones that are here do their fair share of talking but it is not the same, for some reason. I know I have been mia in that area and the depression did not help. I still feel like I am the only one going through it, but I know I am not. Honeylioness said she is going through it also. And I know there are more. With the economy and the job loses there are quite a few of us that are having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. As for some of the others, there are things going on in their lives that require them to be in their situation and not here with us. I know they will check in once things get out of the way. I guess we will wait and see and in the meantime, keep plugging away at our controlled spending or no spending. There have been times in the past 2-3 weeks that I wanted to say "the h**l with everything" and go out and spend like there was no tomorrow, but the thought of having to tell these ladies that that is what I did kept me from doing that. Every time I spend I hear all of you telling me to take it one day at a time and spend just what I need to spend. If it is a "need", then spend. If it is a "want", then wait and see. If I have something else at home that will do the same job, maybe not as good but still do it, then don't buy it and wait until what I have at home wears out. My life doesn't have to be perfect even though that is what I want. I can settle for "good enough" until something better comes along. I got a phone call so I will leave for now, but I will be back.

[spruby]

3cats - I miss the chattiness too! It made me feel like I was with a bunch of friends listening to different conversations! I like to read along when I am traveling for work (I feel less lonely) but don't comment 'cause I everything I write sounds incredibly ungrateful and whiny.

The CS/NS are going well and the benefit of travel is much of my daily expenses (parking, etc) are now covered by per diem. The bad part is my per diem doesn't cover all my costs (NY restaurants are crazy).

I've bee fighting through depression and last week the beginning of a panic/anxiety attack. I signed up for the work gym and changed my schedule so I can go either 30 minutes before I start work or at the end of the day. The pay period closed this week and when they did my time (because as a fed I am an hourly worker) - I had over 125 reported hours for the 80 hour pay period. There is more time that I worked - but I am over the max already so I didn't report it. A chunk of that came from travel time - but since I can't sleep on planes/trains - I read reports and do email - so it is working. The good news is next week I have no trips at all!! The first week without travel since the first week of the year.

Job hunt is progressing - just slower than I would like.

3cats - how is work these days? the new laptop?
honey - hope you are doing OK - I'm thinking of you and hope the job hunt is going well
mrslynch - you'll see an email from me! are you on track to leave the full time job this summer?
ses - what are you up to? kitties good? still working or have you decided to stop?
mittenkitten - all the flooring done? kids good?
sheila - how did your son like 1st class on his trip?
mizbear - how are *you* doing? what have you done this week to take care of *you*?
shan - how is your new dog? and MIL?
startsmart - back home?
muttley - how is everyone?
red - I'm sure you mentioned - but where/when is the cruise? I love cruising - we really like NCL.
money - you are in New Orleans/New Orleans area right? do you go to the Jazz Festival? I saw a banner ad and they have Springsteen listed!
azmom - how is your niece doing? your running?

I'm sorry I didn't get everyone - hope everyone is doing well

[mizbear]

spruby- Bought a cheap bottle of wine and made a doctor's appt for Tuesday I need to find out why I am swollen and sore. But the wine tastes really good. ;D

[MittenKitten]

Hey all!

Spruby: Floors are all done and look GREAT. So happy to have them done and that nasty carpeting gone. Contractor was great and I have already referred him to my MIL.

3cats: I go through depression EVERY winter. It totally sucks.

I also do miss the chattiness. I think it is hard losing people here and no real way to draw new people in which can open some more interesting conversations. I also think the weekly captian idea was brilliant but unfortunately just hasn't happened really well. I know I can't take more on and well I did my time ;D

I actually ATE a meal today. First time since last Sunday (and that didn't last) so really the first time in a WEEK. A lot of stuff still tastes nasty and the back of my throat needs to heal.

DD is signed up for preschool for next year. I only did 2 days a week instead of 3 which I would have preferred for her. But this saved me $20 a month so $180 in total and then I only have to take DS#2 to pick her up one day. Although I may see about him going to the noon hour on the second day and then I don't have to bring him at all. We will see.

Very much looking forward to going on vacation on Wednesday. Scared but also excited. Being sick put me behind so I still have to pack, purchase a few things and clean out the vehicle.

[Honeylioness]

February update:

11/25 CSD
10/25 NEO


Hello ladies - yes, it's me. I did not actually fall off the face of the earth - just took a hiatus of sorts for my own peace of mind.

I wish I could report that I have landed the perfect job that only requires me to work 30 hours a week and pays me a base of $80k - but alas. That is not the case. In fact I am finding this entire process quite disheartening. To-date I have sent out over 60 individualized cover letters with resume to a wide variety of companies - and have applied to more via websites that did not have the option of cover letters. I am signed up with two agencies, search a variety of websites and have maxed out the three months of transition counseling my former employer paid for.

And what do I have to show for all this?

Four phone screenings, two agency interviews and NO actual client/employer interviews at all. It's hard to stay positive and focused in the face of such an overwhelming lack of response.

So as 3cats shared - I am struggling with my own depression. As a result I find myself isolating more and more. While I know intellectually this is not as helpful in the long run - it is a hard habit to break. Especially when you are an introvert by nature.


On the money front - I am okay for the moment. I still get Unemployment and have the balance of my severance money still in my account. I am starting to look into alternative health insurance for March if I am still not working then. February was covered by the money my employer gave me to cover three months worth of COBRA. However if I was to pay for the same coverage myself - it runs $547 a month for medical, prescription and basic dental. I don't really want to use the Massachusetts State health plan, but it may be the only option financially.


I did complete my income taxes last week, and I am glad I chose in the beginning to have the state collect their income tax up front. Even so, it seems I will owe the State $5. Well - on principal alone they will have to wait until April.

On the Federal side the news is a LOT better. I learned that I could deduct my COBRA payments in my itemized deductions. WHOOOO HOOOO. The Feds owe my $3200. I e-filed and will have the funds direct deposited into my savings account - hopefully in the next couple of weeks.


And since I have the time to actually look at some other things, I made an appointment with a Financial Planner. This is a man who led a seminar I attended through the Outplacement company last month. He works for Morgan Stanley, and from my introductory meetings with him and in looking into the company I feel comfortable with him and his style. I will be consolidating an old Rollever from an old job, my most recent 401(k) account and my cash out / rollover option for my recent employer's pension into one rollover IRA account. I want to have just one account to keep track of.

I will also be looking into finding an attorney to help draft some other necessary paperwork: Will, Durable Power of Attorney, Living Will and Directive for Health Care.



On a non-money related topic, I heard about this video and must say I am now a fan of this father:

[pointy]

update: 9/23 NS and 10/27 No QVC

[moneysquirrel]

Update: 9 NS Days, 2 CS Day

3cats -- I agree that I have not been on the thread as often as I like. Life -- that is school-- happens. I am on the computer so much there that at times when I get home I don't touch the thing. I sometimes get here so late that nothing I type makes sense and I delete it. Sometimes I have a nice long post that gets eaten and I am so tired that I can't remember what I typed. I hope to catch up better now that the longest (I hope)projects for this semester is over. My students will start working in excel soon. The youngest age first project will take them a few weeks to finish as I give out the instructions in pieces. The middle group will be working on normal items, gathering info, placing into spreadsheet, using basic formula and graphing. The oldest group will be using it to organize data before they begin a long multi-step project.

MK -- Have a great vacation. You deserve it.

spruby -- Yes I live in the NO area and am aware that the Boss will be performing at Jazz Fest. I usually don't go for several reasons -- the crowds and the cost. I remember when the cost was much more reasonable. As I mentioned before I try to avoid crowds as much as possible. I rarely go anywhere I don't have to go if there is expected to be big crowds. I usually prefer to attend the French Quarter Festival held a few weeks earlier. The crowd is less intense, the music and food is good. There are no major big named stars appearing but lots of good local musical acts, many which showcase young students who are the future of jazz. Several of the young boys that I teach also attend a private music school and they often perform at this festival. Some of them also perform at Jazz Fest. Also this festival is open to the public at no cost. Many restaurants have food booths set up in Jackson Square where one can get a taste treat.

Honey -- Glad you checked in with us. I was beginning to get a little worried.

I am sure that I have more comments but since several of my posts were previously eaten I will try to get back with them later.

[ses]

3cats--I agree with you 100% I have also missed the tight connections we used to find here. And I also admit I am partially at fault. I have been more affected by seasonal depression than ever before. Probably due to some health issues a couple of months ago I headed into the season more susceptible than than in years past. And as Honey mentioned, it is hard to bring myself out when I tend to be a bit of an introvert to begin with.

The kitties are doing well. Lately Onyx has been very needy, if a lap is empty it is her obligation to fill it, and any idle hand truly should be petting her (if Calleigh doesn't get there first).
I am, however, getting a little tired of hearing the cat fights over sharing the cat toys. Calleigh will play with anything she can find. Onyx, on the other hand, likes to hide any toys and treasures she finds under the towel in her basket. She gets quite upset with me when i find them and throw them back into play. They both are quite enamored with the new bay window. So am I when I watch Onyx in the snow we got a couple of days ago. A very shiny black Onyx tries to crouch and hide behind a small, very small, snow encrusted shrub and prepare to pounce on one of the birds sitting overhead on the phone line. As if they can't see her.

spruby--I am still on the job, as it were. This Friday I will be working for the first time since Dec. 12, due to budget cuts. I will only work an average of 20-25 hours a MONTH, unless the budget is increased. And I don't see that happening too soon. If there is more demand I might get an extra day here and there. I haven't done my taxes yet to know how the extra income will affect them.

MK--definitely enjoy every moment of your vacation. I just realized I haven't been out of town since Thanksgiving. I need to plan at least a day trip before gasoline hits $5.00/gal!!

Honey--
I will also be looking into finding an attorney to help draft some other necessary paperwork: Will, Durable Power of Attorney, Living Will and Directive for Health Care.
Me, too. Don't know why I keep procrastinating. Maybe you can motivate me.

Moneysquirrel--I know what you mean about "life happening"--and I don't even have much of a life! I need to stop and take care of today's excitement--change the laundry to the dryer.

One of the things occupying my mind lately is the national political nonsense. I am so tired of all the name calling, I'd like to hear some specific plans from any of them. Our country is so much closer to the position Greece is currently in than any one will admit. The Greek citizens, those who were lucky enough to have jobs, already had to suck up 20% pay cuts and now here comes another 20% cut. I don't know if I could handle a 36% cut in a years' time.
I truly want to be positive, but it is so hard.

I have GOT to tend to the laundry or it will never get done! Later.

[3catslady]

update; 11 NSD, 1 EOD.
I decided to try and clean my pantry out. Tonight I am having waffles for supper. I put peanut butter on them so it wasn't too unhealthy. I know it was not that healthy but I don't want to spend any money for another week or two unless I have to. In the morning I am going to have cereal. I have enough food to last me for another couple of days. I get paid on Thursday so I will get a few staples to keep me going for another couple weeks. I have to go to training this week on how to make pizza the company's way. We will be eating pizza for lunch so I know I won't be needing any thing for lunch that day. I know how to make it my way but who knows how they do it. Then I have to go to training on how to sell beer. Yes we are going to have beer in our grocery store. I hate the idea of selling beer in a grocery store but we have to follow the wave of the future. We have 7 beer distributors within a mile and in town there are joints on every corner. I think it is stupid but that is the way it goes.

[startsmart]

Update:
NSD: 2
CSD: 7 (travel days because I stayed in budget!)

spruby- yep back home again! and I hear ya on NY restaurants! Some of the meals I had were pricy but at least I stayed in budget.

honey- it's certainly tough out there and I for one am impressed at your stamina with all those resumes and cover letters!

3cats- waffles can be healthy! Try looking up recipes for adding fruit or cinnamon or cool toppings if you have anything else to clear out of your pantry. And oh man am I overstocked here... good news is I found a lentil soup recipe I love so less premade stuff, more homemade!

ses- I don't know if you saw it on Facebook but I was watching "Cat From Hell" on the plane about a cat whisperer when a cat got loose on my flight! Freaked me out! Although the escapee was very friendly and the owner apologetic, I thought it was hilarious that I would be watching that show when the cat popped up one row ahead of mine. Love your kitty stories even though I'm a dog person ;D

Thoughts on chattiness and my own posting:

I traveled this past week with the accountability buddy I've had for the last 4 months and there were several times I need time away from her purely based on her outlook and attitude. One of the things that I recognized is that life is very challenging, it always has been and things are not magically going to be perfect anytime soon. BUT the mindset and attitude I have can make things more difficult or easier to handle.

When I'm surrounding myself with people who generally complain, whine, whimper, pout, rant, doubt, and downplay the awesome, amazing things around us then I get pulled into a very negative space. I know that I, and everyone else, deserves a little rant now and then but in many ways I've found that the boards in general can be a huge downer.

Almost 2 years ago now blue eyes and I decided to stop reading/watching the news as carefully and also unsubscribed to a lot of blogs. Not because we're reclusive but because they are all influencers and affect our moods, outlook and attitudes.

It's not just Murphy.

It was extremely frustrating to me when a former client would blame anything and everything on the stage of the moon or Mercury in retrograde. It was a huge cop out. Here I feel the same about Murphy. Sure, I've had times when bad stuff happened or a lot of bad stuff and it was horrible. Flat tire on top of utility hike on top of car work, etc. And when I got all whiny and down y'all kicked me in the tail and told me to snap out of it!

Our financial problems are not all Murphy, sometimes it's being ill prepared or not thinking ahead or accounting for some expense. But over the 4 years I've been a member of this group at some point we shifted from encouraging and challenging each other and began to whine and coddle a lot more.

Because the group dynamic has changed (and please let me be clear, this is not directed at any one person or people, there are way too many people involved coming and going to ever understand the why nor is it my intention to blame!) I'm not around as much or I don't respond to posts as often. I still try to update since it's somewhat easier than emailing everyone here who I care about separately but the overall attitude makes it difficult for me to be as involved as I once was because I'm shielding myself to some degree.

Over the past few years I stopped watching tv. I don't like commercials or advertising, I despise reality television and bars and thus most of my community support is here, online. Just like the decision to stop watching shows that evoke a negative attitude in me I'm not around here much because of the same reason. Working with people who get me and challenge me and where there's a healthy balance of give and take has allowed me to make big strides in my business and personal life. So I'm focusing more of my attention there as a result.

[3catslady]

startsmart; You are right that we (I) use "Murphy" as an excuse for our (my) lack of planning, but there is no one here to call us (me) out on it like they used to. So we just go about our way and fumble. I am not happy where I am and I have no idea how to change except to do it drastically. I am too old to go that route so I complain and say Murphy came by. Where is the tough love that was here 2 years ago? Where are the suggestions that flew onto the pages 2 years ago? Some of those people are not here because they got tired of helping? Or they just had more problems of their own and needed time to sort them out. Sometimes I feel like I am letting everybody give me advice instead of figuring things out for myself. There are times when I really need someone to talk to and no one is around because they are all doing their thing with their life and I feel left out. I need that kick in the pants to get me going. You people are not my only life but I don't like my RL and I am afraid to get out there and live. I am so tired of being hurt by what is going on in RL and I don't want to tell anyone so I just keep it to myself. That takes me down into depression and there goes the spiral. I am just putting things down that get to me sometime and not really wanting an answer just the affirmation that that is life. I only watch a few programs on tv. I hate commercials and the news just makes me sick. I don't go to bars because I can't drink and some of the people in them are not in touch with reality. I am tired of hiding my true feelings and crying myself to sleep each night because I don't have the courage to speak out. I keep reading the "Don't Quit" sign posted on my desk and writing in my journals. I don't know where to go next. DB and DSIL have divorced so I don't have that place to go to and GF has been having more trouble with her place and her 2 girls that I feel like I am intruding so I have been staying away from there. I do go down once a month because I need to get away from work. DS has been keeping his distance and the kids have been quiet so there is no complaint there other than the hot water heater which he fixed so I don't have to buy one out of the income tax. Maybe I will just take the chance and drive out of the area for a weekend and just get away from everybody.
Sorry about the long post. I just wanted to get some things out of my system.

[mizbear]

I don't blame Murphy so much- BUT- I haven't figured out how to evict those things (people) which I have no control over. Things here seem to go fairly smooth when people IRL leave me alone generally (I know that sounds very snarky). I don't like being bothered by other people anymore out here. DM has an excuse for everything and I am tired of cleaning up the mess.

I can't kick her out- she has no where to go.

But I am totally off kilter with her living here.

[muttleynfelix]

Spurdy - Thanks for asking. We are all doing well.

Thanks for all the input on DS and talking. We'll see what the next 3 months hold and go from there.

I know i have been less talkative lately. Mainly because I want to have a job and not get fired for being on the internet and I don't get online much at home. I do think I'm probably burnt out on financial accountability and given everything else going on in my life it has taken a lower priority. I have a much harder time drawing a line in the sand than I use to.

[moneysquirrel]

OK I figured I would try to check in tonight again since who knows what tomorrow brings.

3cats -- I too am planning to eat out of the pantry/freezer this week. I have been only picking up a few items as needed as I want to use up some of the things I cooked and froze. This week the weather turned colder than we have had in several weeks. (Nothing to what most of what you ladies have but cold for me. ) I transferred soup and several other items from the big freezer to the one at the top of the refrig so I would have them within easy reach for my evening meals. I usually take sandwiches to school for lunch. I am on remote control == can put the sandwich together and pack lunch while the tea is brewing in the mornings before my quick dash out of the house. Remember ladies I leave the house before 7 so routine is everything. I figure that I have one more week of school before a well needed week off for Mardi Gras. I will be doing a large grocery order sometime that week but will be taking inventory and clipping coupons prior to that trip. Did I ever mention that going to the groceries is one of my least favorite things?

I am sorry that you have to deal with so much in RL. I know that things have not been rosy with your situation with DS and DIL. Will the split up help you?

Muttley -- I never check the boards from work. Because of the amount of technology we have at school they monitor everything. There is the need with the students but I only use the school computer for educational purposes. That includes not even checking my personal email while at work. I decided that on the off chance my computer is being checked that they didn't need to know my personal business. I know that other teachers may but I don't.

Honey -- I am hoping that something turns up for you soon. You are a very talented person and they are crazy for not jumping on your resume asap. Remember to take things one day at a time. It was the only way I got through those days after DH's passing. Also,I haven't looked at my taxes yet. I usually use my Mardi Gras break to work on them. I try to figure it out prior to giving it all to my DB who does them for me -- he is a cpa and has turbo tax. He has been doing this for me since my DH passed and I really appreciate it. I usually can nail the federal tax but the state taxes are more complicated for my situation. I am hoping that I break out even. I also was able for the first time this current school year to contribute to the 401K so I am hoping that will help with taxes. I will have to wait and see if it helped.

MK -- You really need the break. Try to rest as much as possible while on your vacation. Sleep late whenever possible. You have been under a lot of stress lately and you need the rest.

ses -- are the kitties still hiding their Christmas present? I can just picture Onyx trying to hide in the snow. I figure that Calleigh will just look at it through the window.

Well ladies it is now my bedtime again. Will try to check in more often.

[3catslady]

money; DS and DIL did not split. DBro and DSIL did. They had a place in the mountains that had a very peaceful retreat that I would go to but I don't have that place to go to any more. I still have my GF's home to go to but she is having trouble with her 2 girls and the remodeling of her home. It has taken over a year to get her place to where it is now. She still has the walls and floors to do. To top that off, the one floor joist has to be replaced because it has broken and there are still other windows that need fixed.
update; 11 NSD, 1 EOD.

[sheilaincali]

Update: 8/20 $0 days

We stayed at home most of the weekend. Didn't leave the house except to take DS to his YIG meeting for Model UN. His country is Poland this year. He is quite excited and looking forward to the whole MUN season.

Start: I understand a lot of where you are coming from. At home we try to cut the negativity out of our lives. We don't watch a lot of negative tv shows and try to avoid negative websites. I don't really post anything negative on FB. However, I don't know if I necessarily get a super negative vibe from our threads though. Its been a rough winter with people laid off and generally busy so comments are down some. I will admit there are some times I scan rather than fully read things.

I would like to apologize if any thing I have said in the past has been overly negative or I have not been taking full responsbility for my actions. I have been here going on 5 years I think and over that time I have learned a lot. I don't want to make it seem like I don't still need you all but lately our lives have fallen into such a routine and working pattern that not enough happens for me to really write about. If that makes sense.

[shanendoah]

6NSD

I have been quiet recently for a couple of reasons.
1) I don't have a whole lot of positive things to say. I don't mean to or about you ladies. I love you ladies even though I've only ever met startsmart in person. I mean about my life. The situation with the MIL is draining. I feel like when I do post, I don't have anything positive to say about what's going on here, and I don't really see the need to bring you ladies down.
I will note that my withdrawal is not just online. We are dong fewer things outside of our house. I still have my every other week critique group, which is really my saving grace, but otherwise, we just haven't been doing much.
2) Financially, we're pretty ok. We're on a sustainable budget. I still use getting NSDs as a way to keep my from hitting the vending machines or getting a chai from the cafeteria (because that could get us out of control fast), but otherwise, we're in a good place. And it will get a little better. After realizing we were going to get back over $3,100 this year, partly because I paid $2,200 more in taxes this year than last, I looked at my w-4 at work and realized I was only claiming one exemption. Since we don't expect C to have a job this year or even next, I changed to 2 exemptions, meaning my checks should have a little bit more on each of them.

Given these two things, I just don't feel like I've had a lot of positive things or constructive criticism to offer here, so I don't say as much.
We're doing things in real life to try and impove our outlook and attitudes.
1) We took in Howie. He really is the sweetest and easiest foster dog I could have ever wished for. I'm going to be spoiled for future foster dogs. We've had no housetraining issues. He has gone from ignoring our dogs to slowly figuring out his place in the pack. He still wants to spend all of his time next to a person being petted, but he's now willing to follow our dogs when they run around being crazy, to see what's going on, instead of hiding next to one of us.
2) We're doing family night. I know that may sound silly considering we're three adults (me, DH, roommie), but it's nice. We try to have dinner together (instead of each in front of our respective computers) at least one night a week, and maybe watch a tv show we all like together or just sit around and talk. This weekend we played a board game and then watched a movie together.
3) We're moving forward with our plan to adopt. DH and I really decided that we can't let his mother's situation prevent us from living our lives the way we want to. We should get our agency application in this week (that will be a spend day). Then we'll have a few months of getting the rest of the training we need and getting the house ready to meet foster license requirements. That will also require some spending- locking doorknobs for every room, a locking medicine cabinet or a file cabinet to put all medications in, and a file cabinet or file boxes for the paperwork we need to hold on to. Possibly some other organizational items as well as we work on decluttering.

I know that taking positive steps in real life is helping me, so I think maybe it's time to take positive steps here to help me be a better community member and maybe help other's here, as well. So, in that vein, I am appointing myself this week's weekly captain. If everyone wants to try and get their counts up today, I will post where everyone is tomorrow.
I'll also go through and read all the posts and do my best to do shout-outs and offer helpful advice.

[WholeLottaNothin]

i know i was never a big contributor but I have been on even less since I was let got from my job. I don't have as much time now that I am home full time with my son, and honestly don't feel I have that much to add. Winter doesn't usually bother me but this year it had, probably because of the job loss as well. I will try to check in and read up more often, but I have to admit I have been more scanning than reading lately.

I wish I could enjoy this time at home with my son, but it is hard when I am worried about money all the time. I get unemployment, and my husband is still working so it could be worse. But I am half way through my unemployment, and still no luck. I have applied to everything I could think of in the area, and some out of state even, done several apps online and still nothing. I have started applying to jobs at Cornell, even though it would be an hour commute there and an hour commute back because of traffic. Hopefully I will get some response here soon.

[mizbear]

I think my issue IRL is I am tired of being the fixer.
After almost 36 years- I am sick and tired of fixing everyone else's messes.
I just want to fix my own and move on.

[mrslynch]

Message deleted by mrslynch.

[sheilaincali]

nutting and honey- I feel so bad for both of you going through this bout of unemployment. I was there with you during the entire 2009 year. Its rougher out there than people will admit. I get so frustrated when the people on YM are all "I could get a job within a week if I got laid off" that simply isn't the reality anymore. I have noticed things looking up more where I live and I hope you both get some positive responses soon. Sending you both good luck ju ju.

[startsmart]

Somewhat Finance Related Update

So I wanted to share some things that I'd alluded to and shared with a few people but have really been nervous about lately (and how I turned it into a positive mindset).

Basically when I "officially" started my own business back in August I could only see a few avenues to making "good money" in the six figure range. That was the dream: make a good income, leverage my time and have some financial freedom to travel more.

Well, two weeks ago I was blown away by the opportunity to work in a business that has an annual income goal of 9 figures. Over $100M. And instead of it being a small role I would be taking on a lot of responsibility and earning a LOT more money in a short period of time.

And, well, I freaked out. I spoke with blue eyes, with a few trusted friends and I began to see two sides. Side A was the people who supported me unconditionally, helped me see the potential and rewards (not just the money) and encouraged me to go for it and offered their help. Side B was the people who tried to talk me out of it for selfish reasons, asked for money I didn't yet have or somehow tried to get a piece of the opportunity without understanding or providing value.

In the midst of all that I flew to New York for 2 days with my coach and mastermind group to sort out what I was going to do. A single 20 minute session with 5 other women who told me to step through the fear and doubt and worry and embrace this amazing opportunity changed everything. And a private session with another colleague helped me identify why I was anxious about this new client.

So yeah, I freaked out, hyperventilated, obsessed over the fact I'd be working with a billionaire and then, I got what I needed. I spoke with rational and caring people in my support network who gave me confidence that even though it may not be easy, that this is worth it for me and the business. Their words and encouragement and support has propelled me through the really tough decision time and I'm working now to secure the contract and deliver to this amazing client all she needs to built a business empire.

Still scared, still have moments of doubt and worry but my whining didn't help me. Getting loving support made all the difference.

(It's not so much the scale of the issue either, even in the past when smaller things came up for me this group and others were there to support me. Sometimes the "small" things are big and it's hard to deal with alone.)

[mrslynch]

After careful consideration, I think I'm pulling out of the thread permanently. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. Perhpas that this is one of the reasons I've been MIA for so long.

I just want to say thank you to all of you for being there to support me through good times and bad. I wish nothing but the best for all of you and for those who I'm friends with on FB, I hope we can still keep up with each other over there. And azmom and shanen, you two will not be getting rid of me that easily. I assure you of that.

My journey out of debt and into controlling my spending would not have been the same without you all in it. I will always be grateful for your encouragement and kind words and the difference you all have made in my life.

I wish all of you the best of luck in all that you choose to do. I know you will all be successful.

[shanendoah]

I know it sometimes doesn't seem like it, but we have all shared positive things this month. I just went through the thread and wrote them down. So now I am going to share with you one positive thing from every poster so far this month.
(Poster names are in order of when they first posted on the February thread, though the positive thing could be from any of their posts.)
startsmart: 9 figure business opportunity
pointy: 30 no QVC days in January
sheilaincali:DH has had a job all winter and the folks from his Nov. interview are still interested
mizbear: DM's truck has been repaired, and it's lucky DS was driving it, or you might have lost him, as well (doesn't always feel like a positve, I know )
redwagon: Drunk Fridays
sbcalimom: started focusing on budgeting more and you like the software you have to help you with it (makes it easier to stick with)
spruby: not only do you have a plan for leaving the job you don't like, you have an amazing network who have decided to make it their mission to help you achieve that goal
moneysquirrel: It's Margi Gras season! And you have the option of the free French Quarter Festival
mittenkitten: The floors are all installed and wonderful
muttley: Congrats on only being 1lb away from your target weight range!
dakota:DH's new vehicle came in $1,000 UNDER budget
3cats: You had a cushion that could handle purchasing a new laptop, car repairs AND faucet repairs with some left over! And DS fixed the water heater. Think of how far you've come!
financialpeace: interviewed for and got a temp job that's actually a step up from you'd been doing before
ses: the bay window makes your entire household happy
mrslynch: launching a graphic design business
honey: despite all the setbacks, you still have UE, your severance package, and you're getting a tax refund. Plus you are moving forward in your financial planning
nuttin: you still have UE, DH is still working, you are looking at opportunities you might otherwise have ignored. And, you do have a little more time home with DS.

[mizbear]

mrsl- Please if you decide to leave the thread- at least pop in and say hi.

I know several times over the past 3 or so years, when I started with the WSH and BP/MH threads on MSN, I have felt like leaving. There has always been something to bring me back- with the exception of 1 thread- which will remain unmentioned- but it was the other threads that kept me coming back otherwise.

I'm sorry if I get to be a bit of a downer- there hasn't been much to celebrate here lately. I am really looking forward to getting things together- BTW- once the albatross of the clarinet mess is gone- that money is going into a gym membership. I think that will help me. Make an appointment with myself to work out each day.

[mizbear]

shan- Very true. Very very true.

;D

[spruby]

shan - thanks for posting all the positives - always nice to read.

UPDATE: 13/13 NSD/CSD

I love the board. I admit it - you ladies are my friends. When you don't post I worry about you. When you do post I'm cheering you on or sending you good thoughts! Does it make a difference - I don't know - but I prefer to add a little positive karma.

We've cut back on some news input - but bad economic news keeps me employed - so I'll always be exposed to that.

We've also cut back in many areas and are saving up and decluttering - I feel like something big and exciting and scary is just around the corner and I want to be ready to meet it.

I feel like the world - and many of us - is pretty unsettled these days and we are all trying to settle into whatever the new normal is or create a new normal.

shan - I made the mistake of letting dealing with my mom/family impact how I lived - or really didn't live my life - until she passed away. You & DH are doing the right thing by moving on to what is important to you. And I totally envy your 3 dogs!

3cats - just big hugs. How is church these days - any church retreats you could go on? Also, have you ever though about house sitting? Kind of like a vacation close to home.

honey - please don't forget you have a network here for you - I'm not 100% on what kind of job you are looking for - but I have a couple friends in the Boston area - I'm happy to ask about openings if you point me in the right direction

mizbear - two things - read the quote on your profile. Time to start finding your DM a new place. Look for subsidized senior assisted living. I know you are in MD - if you PM where exactly I am happy to do some research for you - I went through this with my mom and frankly was in better shape to deal than you are and it almost killed me - literally.

ses - are you still playing in the market? how is that going? my stocks are terrible - but not doing too much either.

I'm miss chatty because I get to be home ALL WEEK!!!!! Woo hoo for me!!!

Hugs ladies!

[mizbear]

spruby- I think you hit on something- things being unsettled and letting others impact how we live.

I also prefer a positive vibe, both my health and mood are better with it.