HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Jan 19, 2011 8:18:14 GMT -5
I think everyone knows at least a few.
My fave 2 are both "in-laws"...
The first is my ex-boyfriend's family. They lived in northern WI. They would send us Xmas cards with photos of their three kids playing their new Xbox, the husband riding around on his new motorcycle, etc. They had lots of nice toys (I did not even have an xbox at this point because they were too expensive) that we did not. Come January and February we would get phone calls that their heat was going to get turned off and the electricity too because they did not have enough money to pay the bills after their awesome Xmas.... we sent them money ONCE and then we were done... northern WI... don't you think your heating bills are going to be HIGH in winter? LOL
The second is my current SIL. She lives in Detroit and took out a home equity loan (can't even imagine that was possible in Detroit) to put an indoor pool in her house. Uh............ We also get a ~10k check every January from my MIL who is getting older and trying to distibute out her wealth while she is still alive. I asked my H once why she even bothered because we don't need the money. My H responded "My sister DOES!" and to keep the 2 kids "equal" we have to take her money. What a joke... needing 10 k a year from your 90 year old mother...
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cael
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Post by cael on Jan 19, 2011 9:03:37 GMT -5
Ohhhhh yes. More than a few.... friends, my MIL-to-be, ugh. Of course, I'm not perfect, but sometimes the decisions people make just blow my mind. Best is my MIL-to-be. They haven't got a pot to **** in, never did, probably never will. Her & boyfriend both work, and make a somewhat decent hourly pay, but somehow still get behind on rent and bills, and DF's younger bro (14) still gets a new game console every christmas, she buys him new cell phones which he breaks & wastes the minutes, god. Makes me insane. There are waaaaay more issues at work than this too, I won't get into what she used to make DF do as a teenage when he still lived with her :/ (pay bills, raise little bro, etc). RIDICULOUS in all levels. They've been in their new apartment a year now, and I gave it maybe another year or two at the most before some problem crops up & they get kicked out or leave. I have several friends who make really stupid money decisions all the time, and it's hard to bite my tongue, but I mostly do. If my friend would rather have a diamond necklace than put money into her house fund, then complain about wanting a house & a baby, let her. (she is an emotional trainwreck as well as a financial one, sadly)
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Jan 19, 2011 9:14:02 GMT -5
Been there....seen it all.... I make every attempt to surround myself with those who have their act together.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jan 19, 2011 9:20:37 GMT -5
Let's see... my Mom, my brother, and BF's Dad. My Mom has been one money nightmare after another, my brother is an idiot and a moocher, and BF's Dad falls for every get rich quick scam. His latest adventure was falling for a Craigslist scam. He always says that he doesn't want to live in a world where you can't trust people, is it rude to say you should have offed yourself years ago?
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Post by tea4me on Jan 19, 2011 9:28:36 GMT -5
Some of my friends - In their 40s and living with their parents or in-laws. They do nothing to improve their situations either. I decided to distance myself from them because we have nothing in common. They never have to think about house payments or property taxes. Heck, they don't even have to cook or clean. They are out having fun all of the time. And they still have a lot of drama with their ex-husbands.
I could see temporarily moving in with parents until you get back on your feet, but not for years.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jan 19, 2011 9:29:53 GMT -5
The grown children of the woman my dad remarried. I have to grit my teeth not to say anything when I go visit.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 19, 2011 9:40:07 GMT -5
It's hard to listen to people who whine about finances when they just got back from an exotic vacation! Aargh! And you can't say anything because "they're family". Also work with a few train wrecks. Get a clue--if you're having trouble with basic expenses, now is not the time to get the latest cell phone, or the largest t.v.
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Post by readsalot on Jan 19, 2011 9:53:53 GMT -5
One of my friends and her husband drink A LOT and spend money at the bar in their little town EVERY weekend. She is worried how they will pay all their payments each month. Let's see... Quit drinking the money?
One friend has many medical problems and called me crying about how can she go back to work but they need the money, etc. Every meal is eaten at a restaurant or fast-food. They are computer junkies and leave all the computers and lights on in the house all the time and pay to play games online, take vacations and weekends away at the drop of a hat. Have more house than they can afford, etc. Let's see... QUIT spending MONEY on unnecessary crap??? Eat at home, turn OFF the lights, quit gaming online, STAY home, etc. When I told her these things would enable them to live off of her husbands salary she had a reason for EVERY one of those things and why they couldn't stop them. She didn't want help obviously. Third friend, cleans houses for cash, lost clients due to economy, hubby seems to lose his job every year or so because he's low man on the totem-pole. Behind on their house payments, but kids are in private school. Husband bought a flat-screen for the KITCHEN because HE WANTED IT. Beautiful clothes, home interior could be in a magazine, neither has any education or skills beyond high school. Let's see...Put your kids in public school & quit spending money!!!!!!!! Pay your mortgage FIRST. I don't go around telling them all these things, but all 3 have asked me about how we do it. When I tell them about being frugal, they don't want to hear it. So I don't say anything anymore. They don't really want help, they just want someone to feel bad for them. I don't.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 19, 2011 10:12:21 GMT -5
Hey now - that is just blasphemy!
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Post by tea4me on Jan 19, 2011 10:15:26 GMT -5
I know a girl that has six kids with six different men. She is single. As far as I know, she never worked. One time she commented to me that I am "always working." Well, yeah, it's called a full-time job. She told me every job she applies for tells her she is over-qualified. Recently she put on Facebook that she wanted a sectional sofa but she is too picky she cannot find one she likes. I would like a new sofa too, but I decided to pay my property taxes first. Not only is this girl a train wreck - she is a nut job too. I just shake my head at this one . . .
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jan 19, 2011 10:16:11 GMT -5
My IL's. I really wouldn't care at all if it didn't effect my life. I am one of those cold-hearted people who would be perfectly fine let them deal with their own crap due to one stupid decision after another for the last 50 yrs but 1) my DH would never let me and 2) I was raised better than that Oh, I don't give them any kind of advice, they give ME advice. Lena
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 19, 2011 10:25:22 GMT -5
Aren't you the poster who was on the "I DESERVE IT" thread with having to give money to your in-laws? I cannot imagine how people can have ZERO shame at all and actually take money from others with no remorse.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jan 19, 2011 12:00:15 GMT -5
Train wrecks? My brother is the biggest train wreck I have ever met and my parents keep enabling him. He married a white trash princess on a cruise that my parents paid for. Moved into a house that my parents sold him below market value. Then was jealous because my sister and I had nicer houses so he built one that my parents helped finance.
He has 2 kids with his stbEx. Has been separated from her for 14 months now and refuses to get divorced because he is convinced she is "going through a phase". Well if a "phase" is sleeping with every married man she comes across then I guess it's a "phase". He spends every minute he has the kids mooching off my parents, shows up at 8am Saturday morning and stays until my folks give the kids baths, put them in pj's and tell my brother to bring them home and put them to bed. Then he shows back up at 8am Sunday morning, lets himself into their house and waits for them to get home from church.
Works for our dad- badly I might add. Earns a decent salary but still pisses it all away every month and comes to my parents with a hand out. Of course if he didn't eat every meal out and give his Ex cash every time she whines he wouldn't have these problems.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 19, 2011 12:23:21 GMT -5
My sister and BIL are a bit of a financial trainwreck. They (ok, he) make lots of money, and have plenty of wiggle room in their budget, but they won't give up anything to feel more comfortable (he eats lunch out everyday, they spend $600/month on a cleaning service, etc....). My ex was and still is a financial trainwreck. In June, after we had booked the trip for our wedding, she wanted to buy a laptop for her goddaughter. I told her we couldn't afford it (she had just spent a bunch of other money). Her response was "if we can't afford the laptop, how can we afford the wedding?" I tried to explain that we couldn't afford the laptop because we were paying for the wedding. It was like
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jan 19, 2011 12:35:05 GMT -5
Yep . Feel free to drop by and I'll be more than happy to introduce you to them and their daughter. After having 5 BK's between all of them, using their house as an ATM for the last 30 yrs, they just LOVE telling me what I should do. Then again, they just love telling me what to do in general. Lena
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Jan 19, 2011 12:39:17 GMT -5
I was just thinking about this topic the other day. I ran into an old friend. About 10 years ago, we had some flooding in the area. She had gone out off road with her truck and sucked water through the engine. Insurance wasn't going to cover it and she was whining about having to come up with 8K to fix her truck, or buy a new one and she didn't have any money, might have to declare bankruptcy (you get the idea). We were on our way to go shopping when she got a phone call from the insurance company saying they would cover it. While we were shopping, she started looking at Rolex's because she needed a new watch. She worked outdoors and was continually killing watches. She figured a Rolex would last her and she now had a extra 8K so why not. I had to talk her into walking away and told her she could always come back and get it if she really wanted it.
She's still a financial mess.
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Post by jennml on Jan 19, 2011 13:14:47 GMT -5
My mom holds my award for financial trainwreck. She filed for Bankruptcy when I was in Junior High due to astronomical CC debt. The details are fuzzy since I was a kid and didn't really understand or care as long as I got what I wanted LOL. Every other year there was some new scheme. First, she went to school to become a certified paralegal. Never finished but still owed the loans. Then, beauty school which she did finish and worked at for a bit at Barney's in NYC. But again excuses as to why she couldn't continue (too physically demanding being on her feet all day, not enough start-up money to open her own salon, etc.). Next, she decided to go back to school to finish her bachelors in teaching...again loans but no degree. Most recently, she went to school and did become a licensed Aesthetician. But so far her skills have been used free of charge on her DDs. There's always an excuse. During all this search to the bigger better career, she again became eligible for CCs and charged up massive debt. She is now enrolled with some debt management company. She has no significant retirement. She asked for my help with her budget and I almost had a stroke when I realized that, when all bills were paid, she had only $50.00 a week left over and the budget hadn't factored in groceries yet!!! I have no clue how she stays above water. Thankfully my grandmother helps her out a lot in exchange for my mom handling her medical affairs, etc. Yet every week she's e-mailing me info. for shows, trips, activities, etc. Yesterday she calls me saying how she was thinking of getting the Optimum Triple Play but couldn't get the 2 year deal since she's not coming from another company (she cut cable a while ago and only has internet and the digital basic TV box). I was speechless...then calmly tried to explain that it was an unecessary expense and to forget it. She was just complaining last week about how she hasn't gotten a raise in ~3years!!! I dread the day I'll have to take over that mess.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 19, 2011 13:26:41 GMT -5
But isn't it great to see what NOT to do, what are BAD examples and swear you will NEVER do the same? I can't tell you how many times I walked away from soemthing I wanted just because I knew that by getting it, I'd be putting something more important at risk for a temporary pleasure.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 19, 2011 13:33:19 GMT -5
The people I know are work-train-wrecks. You see them making classic work mistakes over and over. Saying things like:
- The company has a lot of money they should... (fill in the blank with just about anything, bonuses, raises, new furniture, hire new people, etc.) This is often when the company has a really hard quarter and the stock price plummeting, or some other loss - like a degregation in sales or something. - My boss should spend their time...(fill in the blank with some meaningless task instead of really leading the business into the future.) - They should promote me because I've been here a long time. (And have yet to complete a single task...)
Not understanding the purpose of the company or what it takes to reach the company's goal is the biggest mistake. And you can continually explain to people that EBIT is the most important thing. You help the company get EBIT, you will be loved and rewarded. You don't understand EBIT, you will be stuck in the lower levels forever. It is what it is.
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Post by jennml on Jan 19, 2011 13:34:23 GMT -5
But isn't it great to see what NOT to do, what are BAD examples and swear you will NEVER do the same? I can't tell you how many times I walked away from soemthing I wanted just because I knew that by getting it, I'd be putting something more important at risk for a temporary pleasure. It is...but there's also the fear that it's genetic. I had my own CC disaster. Not to mention a similar shopping addiction (except I buy books). I love my mom and she's not completely hopeless. But seeing her wreckage motivates me to try and avoid or at least temper my own. Thankfully I earn enough that my slip ups aren't on "The Day After Tomorrow" level like hers can be
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 19, 2011 14:31:26 GMT -5
DF had some friends like this who we've since lost touch with. Their bad choices caught up to them.
She has another friend who is fine now, but had a lot of bad luck over the years. Some of it was bad choices, and other was just downright rotten (say, she'd just get a little ahead, and then get her car totaled by an uninsured motorist). Thankfully things are much better now.
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Post by illinicheme on Jan 19, 2011 14:43:12 GMT -5
I don't have any interactions in my day-to-day life with financial trainwrecks. As far as I can tell, my friends and immediate family all have their stuff together.
My BIL has made plenty of mistakes, but we don't hear about it very often because we only see him maybe once or twice a year. Had two kids with two different women at a young age (has full custody of one for sure, I think the second might be partial custody). Although he has a new long-term plan everytime we do see him (community college, real estate, web design - I've lost count), he seems to be pulling it slowly together. Has stuck with a casino job for 10+ years because of the benefits. Is currently with yet another woman who has a kid of her own, but they've been together for several years now, and seem to have built a reasonably stable family unit.
DH's step-family is a clear disaster. But we almost never see them, and only have to cringe through a few stories when we see DH's dad and stepmom 1-2 times a year. ("Her horse died and she just loves animals and was so heartbroken, so she got a new horse, so that was $10k on a credit card....." and so forth.)
(ETA: DH is pretty distant from his family. We recently saw a rerun of the Modern Family episode where the middle daughter says something along the lines of "like I'm going to tell any of you where I live" and DH starting laughing hysterically. He's pretty much that kid all grown up.)
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 19, 2011 15:34:28 GMT -5
I work with a train wreck.
Eats out all the time (stove and fridge on the fritz) Rents a car to drive a few states away to buy new pets (the car rental happened because the tires on her car and her DH's car were bald) Uses the insurance check for her damaged roof to buy concert tickets and holiday stuff (the roof caved in a few months after she got the check). "Floated" a check to a local hospital for services rendered recently (and then wondered why it bounced; she wrote it on a Friday, but was ignorant of the way electronic banking works).
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Post by cytoglycerine on Jan 19, 2011 15:45:00 GMT -5
Hubby and I are friends with a couple who totally fit the description of "Train Wreck" when it comes to their finances...There are hundreds and hundreds of examples of their money idiocy, and I even posted about some of their fiascos back on MSN - One of the threads I made was about how he (the guy half of the couple) got a new job, but because of their lack of money management skills, he couldn't come up with train fare of ~$100 to get to his training sessions, and had to ask his new boss for alternate arrangements. How embarrassing. Other fiascos include the time they spent almost $600 so they could each have new BB torches (when there was absolutely nothing wrong with the jazzy cell phones they already had), while at the same time complaining that they can't afford to get their dog neutered...which I'm sure could be done for less than $600. And let's not forget about the time they had a nice $200 dinner out for their anniversary, and liked it so much, they followed it up with another $200 dinner out at the same place just a few days later...So I figured I could get back the $40 she owed me. When I ask for it, she tells me "we'll see if we can find the money for you". In more recent fiasco news, this couple just very recently got married. Of course, they didn't save up to pay for their big bash, they instead put it all on credit...at a 20% rate, no less Their big master plan was to pay it all off with the cash gifts they'd be receiving. But from what I saw, that gift table was full of actual gifts, so the cash gifts may end up being slim pickins. They're gonna have LOTS of fun paying back that money at 20%...But to be fair, I don't really believe they would have used the gift money to pay off the CC anyway, I think they would have just pissed that money away, too I know a girl that has six kids with six different men. ...That's just.....wow.....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2011 18:39:11 GMT -5
I was just complaining about this to my friend yesterday. I have people wanting more pay at work. My thought is yes, you will always need better pay if your outgoing is always higher than your incoming. Extra channels on the TV, online game fees, purchasing new games every Tuesday or new gaming systems etc.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 19, 2011 18:56:50 GMT -5
That's allright. DF just called me frothing at the mouth because it seems his DD's money is "missing." His EX seems to have "lost it." He left her as custodian on some of their DD's bank accounts/cd's and when he went with DD to get it out in preparation for her move, it's not there where it's supposed to be. He's gone over to confront her. Can't wait to hear this saga. Not.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2011 19:03:51 GMT -5
My mom and my FMIL both. My mom wants to retire but would not open a Roth even though she qualified and had money, eats out all the time and complains about not having money and being overweight. Bought a new car with a loan even though she says she could loose her job at anytime. Has gone on a one month vacation to find where she wants to live when she retires, and is planning a second one because she can't live on her pension and social security (at 62) in CA. FMIL does not have any money yet any she find is spent on her kids, even when my DF says he does not want/need anything. She lives off her boyfriend and thinks the world is going to end in 2012, also thought I should have a kid and send the child to her and her ex-husband to raise while my DF and I went to school. Oh, and thinks she should come live with us if the world does not end.
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Post by illinicheme on Jan 21, 2011 11:17:15 GMT -5
Just found out that one of my fellow vanpool riders is a total financial moron. She is a temporary contract worker at my company and has been here for about 1.5 years. She was complaining yesterday afternoon because she just found out that her temp agency has been withholding state taxes for Oregon rather than California the entire time she has been employed here. She supposedly filed her own 2009 taxes and somehow didn't notice?!? Her first realization that anything was wrong was getting a letter from the state of California saying they couldn't verify her tax return and charging her a bunch of penalties. She acted quite surprised that it might be her job to verify that the information on the W2 was correct.
I was rendered speechless. All I could do was nod and make reassuring murmuring noises and try not to let my face show that I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard.
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Post by readsalot on Jan 22, 2011 10:37:30 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2011 11:29:21 GMT -5
Zib - how did your DF's discussion about the missing money go?
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