WARNING RANT COMING

[sealy]

I know the answer to my own ranting but I just want fresh eyes perhaps there is something I haven't considered. I know how supportive you all are.

I'm not trying to complain about my situation because I know it could be a lot worse. I am just having a hard time staying on the path to my goal, moving into my dream home. I so just want to take the money out of my savings and just pay off my debt but I know if I did that I may shoot myself in the foot. It's very hard for me to get this close and decide to back out. A year ago I paid off my cards but honestly I began using them again. I want to be able to stick to my plan. What is my plan? I don't think I'm looking at the big picture. I know I can do this but I feel bad about using my cards again. I can't talk to family about this because if they knew how much I have saved they would begin to ask me for money. I just feel like there is no one I can discuss this with.

[Wisconsin Beth]

sealy, have you posted your budget on the YM board? They're really good at helping figure out holes and where to relax it.

[Jake 48]

I agree, posting your budget will help define goals

[busymom]

Sealy, I don't know your history, but can you put the cards away, and try paying cash only? I've done that, and it is truly amazing how much less you spend when you pay in cash. Once it's gone, you're done shopping.


BTW, don't share your info with family if all they'll do is ask for money. If they ask you for money, say "sorry, I can't help you", and you don't need to give them a reason why.

[twinmama85]

You are just shooting without aiming...meaning, you have no goals...if i were you, i would set up a monthly budget and STICK TO IT, cut up the credit cards, probably would pay off as much debt as possible (think about it, if you paid off all/most of your debt, you would be so focused to save that money again [you would be able to snowball your debt payments back into saving for a house] that you would have the money saved up in no time)

your biggest "issue" is that you do not have a defined goal of what you want and when you want to achieve it. establish that first then sort out the rest...i hope that helps ;D

[mizbear]

First thing -
You are NOT failing. You have hit a hurdle. In track, we jump over them. You don't make it over the first time in most cases. In fact, usually, you run into it, trip over it, fall on your face, bloody yourself up- and usually do all of this in front of the entire team (I used to be on the back up squad for hurdling- like 3rd string or worse LOL).
I know getting rid of CC is not always possible. BUT you can control how and when you use them. Not to say you can't or shouldn't use them in an emergency- and then immediately pay them off.

I will admit that I no longer use credit cards, but that is because of my illness. I do fine with them when I am well, but when I have a manic episode, I can sink myself financially very easily.

I agree that posting your budget and trying to find your leaks is a great start. I also agree to not discuss finances with family. If it's not about them- they don't get it.

[973beachbum]

Dec 13, 2011 9:29:57 GMT -5 busymom said:

Sealy, I don't know your history, but can you put the cards away, and try paying cash only? I've done that, and it is truly amazing how much less you spend when you pay in cash. Once it's gone, you're done shopping.


BTW, don't share your info with family if all they'll do is ask for money. If they ask you for money, say "sorry, I can't help you", and you don't need to give them a reason why.

It is going to sound weird but instead of just putting them in a drawer I would try freezing them. I know it sounds crazy but hear me out. ;D

You take something like a plastic container with a lid and put the credit cards inside and fill with water so they will be the middle of the cube. Then stick the whole thing and put it in the freezer and let it turn into a block of ice with your CC's in the middle. This way they will take a long time to thaw when you dicide you want to use them. Then when you think you need to use a CC for something you will have a few hours while they thaw out to think about it and decide if it really an emergency or you can live without it or find a way to pay cash.

Just my 2 cents. Hope it helps and hang in there.

[bluecluessubtlety]

Dec 13, 2011 1:28:42 GMT -5 sealy said:

...I so just want to take the money out of my savings and just pay off my debt ...
A year ago I paid off my cards but honestly I began using them again.

I don't know your history but this stuck out to me.

You say you paid off credit cards but started using them again. If you use the savings to pay them off, you are doing the same as when people "borrow their way out of debt." If you don't stay disciplined, you may end up with no savings and then the debt a third time.

If the discipline isn't there to pay off any charges monthly, I would keep the savings and keep plugging away at the debt.

[sealy]

Thanks chef

I have the 26 thousand saved and perhaps close to 10 thousand in credit card debt with a little over 11 thousand left on my car payment and also owe the tax men about 5 thousand.

Then there are the normal everyday bills for insurance, cell phone (this is needed to stay in contact with my little ones), food, tuition, gas for my car (I commute to work), utilities and rent which is a tad over $1,000.

I really do need a budget but don't know where to start. I think I made one but don't know exactly where it is.

[sealy]

Beach freezing them sounds like a good idea.

bluesclues my fear is paying off the debt then having no savings and reverting back to the cards while I try to save more $.

mizbear thanks for the hug. I haven't been taught how to budget I just pay my bills and then something happens and I'm broke again.

Twinmama I have goals I just am confused as to how to reach them.

At first I was comtemplating using my savings to pay everything off
but then I read all of your posts and have come to the conclusion I
don't want to spend my savings because it will be harder for me to
save that amount again in such a short time and also I'd probably
lose my chance to get the house that I want. I will take your advice
and create a budget. I will also work on creating more clear cut goals with dates.

Thank you all so much

s

[mizbear]

sealy- I can't remember which one of the girls taught me this- but a budget is like a diet- instead of calories in and out- it's cash in and out.

Start with these things:

1. Take home pay BEFORE bonuses, etc but after taxes, insurance etc- i.e. what is actually there to pay bills with.
2. Get your bill receipts out. How much are your average monthly expenditures for
Housing, Utilities (separate gas, electric, water, sewer, trash as necessary), Internet, Phone, Cable, Co- Pays (Doctors and Medicines), Fuel for vehicle, Vehicle Maintenance Fund (More on this in a minute), Savings (However many of these there are), Credit cards and other bills, taxes, groceries

I know I have missed something- but it's a start.

You are about to get shell shocked- but don't panic- this where we help you

Starting with your pay- you can do this by paycheck or monthly- I do mine monthly, but however is best for you. When I got paid every 2 weeks, I did my budget by paycheck.
Again- starting with your pay amount, begin deducting your monthly payment amounts for each bill. See where you are sitting on paper. That will show you where your leaks are.
You can post it here and people will help you create a budget- the girls here know how to make great spreadsheets for budgeting. And know of tools to help you.

Once you know where you sit on paper- set your goals. I would start with getting those taxes paid off and as quickly as possible.

I tell you what the sign says on the church across the street-

"If mountains were smooth- we couldn't climb them."

[sealy]

Mizbear thanks that church saying is true. I'm almost at the top of this mountain called my dream house.

Daphne would you please post a link? Or PM me a link? I'd love to see it.

thanks again

[bluecluessubtlety]

Dec 13, 2011 21:25:15 GMT -5 sealy said:

bluesclues my fear is paying off the debt then having no savings and reverting back to the cards while I try to save more $.

That's why I would say don't do it.

During my marriage we made the mistake of using HELOC to pay off credit card debt we were NEVER GOING TO HAVE AGAIN. Then of course, we charged them back up and then had HELOC and CC.

If you think there's a chance you'll deplete savings getting to zero, and then use the cards again, I would say keep the savings and diligently pay off the cards. Less sense mathematically but better if you won't get rid of the cards.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Dec 14, 2011 11:00:37 GMT -5 bluecluessubtlety said:

Dec 13, 2011 21:25:15 GMT -5 sealy said:

bluesclues my fear is paying off the debt then having no savings and reverting back to the cards while I try to save more $.

That's why I would say don't do it.

During my marriage we made the mistake of using HELOC to pay off credit card debt we were NEVER GOING TO HAVE AGAIN. Then of course, we charged them back up and then had HELOC and CC.

If you think there's a chance you'll deplete savings getting to zero, and then use the cards again, I would say keep the savings and diligently pay off the cards. Less sense mathematically but better if you won't get rid of the cards.

I also find that for me, getting rid of debt had to be painful in order to make a lasting impression on my psyche. I was also tempted to pay the last of my debt off early from savings, but I reminded myself that if I gave myself a 'bail-out', I wouldn't learn the lesson enough to avoid it in the future.

[Clever Username]

I think you need a bit of organization.
Maybe some rules to live by in your life.

So far, things seem so jumbled. I think on three separate levels. Goals. Balances. Budgets.
Sure, they bleed into eachother.

But here is the big red flag I see.
You paid off all of your debts last year, now you have $10k in credit card debt.

That means, put simply, you are spending at least $1000 more per month than you are taking in.
There's an elephant somewhere in your budget.
You need to find it and kill it.

[formerroomate99]

And may I add, no matter how much you have saved, until the elephant Clever has mentioned has been dead for a good long time, I think you need to hold off buying the house. Paying more than you can afford for housing sinks a lot of people. And houses have a lot of hidden costs beyond PITI.

And may I also add, that while your 'dream house' may be nice and all, it is still just a building. A dream house can easily turn into a nightmare if you have to sacrifice your finanical security and/or live on ramen noodles in order to keep it.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Dec 14, 2011 14:38:45 GMT -5 Clever Username said:

There's an elephant somewhere in your budget.
You need to find it and kill it.

Karma for that image...

[sealy]

Dec 14, 2011 14:38:45 GMT -5 Clever Username said:

That means, put simply, you are spending at least $1000 more per month than you are taking in.
There's an elephant somewhere in your budget.
You need to find it and kill it.

I will spend my vacation going over my stuff and find it because I am tired of that darn elephant.

Thank you all so much for your nonjudgemental support. I am so glad that I am able to discuss this with people who truly care about each other.



karma to you all.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Dec 13, 2011 17:27:21 GMT -5 @chef241 said:

Here are her goals from WIR:


Accounts Goals Last Month This Month Spent % Met Roses
Vacation $3500 $15.03 $15.05 0%
House down payment $15,500 $15,500 $15,500 100%
House upgrades $35,000 $1,110.00 $9,512.64 27%
Emergency Fund $20,000 $0 $0 $1,650 0%
Sculpture $5,000 $1,200 $1,500 30%
Retirement $30,000 $58.97 $59.06 0%
Investments $3000 $302.31 $284.04 09%
Vehicle $1000 $0 $0 $24.01 0%
Gifts & Donations $1500 $9.03 $9.05 0%
TOTALS $109,500 $18,195.34 $26,879.84 25%


Sealy: 12/1/2011 $26,879.84 (1/5/2011, $6,551.79)

Am I reading this correctly that your Emergency Fund is at 0? If so, you may want to consider diverting some of your other funds to this fund. I know that when I haven't had an emergency fund in times past, this always caused me to charge to credit cards when things came up. This may help alleviate some of your cc usage problem.

[973beachbum]

Dec 15, 2011 9:37:02 GMT -5 Rocky Mtn Saver said:

Dec 13, 2011 17:27:21 GMT -5 @chef241 said:

Here are her goals from WIR:


Accounts Goals Last Month This Month Spent % Met Roses
Vacation $3500 $15.03 $15.05 0%
House down payment $15,500 $15,500 $15,500 100%
House upgrades $35,000 $1,110.00 $9,512.64 27%
Emergency Fund $20,000 $0 $0 $1,650 0%
Sculpture $5,000 $1,200 $1,500 30%
Retirement $30,000 $58.97 $59.06 0%
Investments $3000 $302.31 $284.04 09%
Vehicle $1000 $0 $0 $24.01 0%
Gifts & Donations $1500 $9.03 $9.05 0%
TOTALS $109,500 $18,195.34 $26,879.84 25%


Sealy: 12/1/2011 $26,879.84 (1/5/2011, $6,551.79)

Am I reading this correctly that your Emergency Fund is at 0? If so, you may want to consider diverting some of your other funds to this fund. I know that when I haven't had an emergency fund in times past, this always caused me to charge to credit cards when things came up. This may help alleviate some of your cc usage problem.

What is this line titled sculpture?

Not to sound judgemental but you seriously have $1500 towards a sculpture but no money saved in case your car breaks down? That may not be the proverbial elephant, but it sure looks like it's droppings to me.

[sealy]

yes my EF is empty. I forgot about that.

The sculpture fund is an accumulation from payments that have already been sent.

Another possible elephant is my savings I've been putting as much as I can in there to get to
my $35,000 total for my upgrades.

I am going to start putting $ in my EF and car fund.

I don't know what I was thinking. My main focus has
been on being prepared for my dream house
but i need to get my cards down and my EF & car fund up.

[turbothumper]

Sealy, Karma to you for being so open-minded to everyone's suggestions! That is very hard to do, but also probably one of the best things you can do for yourself. Sometimes I know for myself, I get caught up with thinking that one way (the way currently in my mind) is the only way and nothing will change that. Being open to listening to what others have to say and possibly changing your viewpoint can be priceless!!

[speechchick71]

Sealy: so many good suggestions were posted here but I'm amazed that no one has mentioned about your lack of saving for retirement! I have no idea how old you are/how close you are to retirement but that dream home won't be around for long once you're retired and have nothing to live on. That idea of paying yourself first includes beefing up that retirement fund. I was in the same boat as you: I had debt, paid it off, then went back into debt (allowed someone into talking me into loaning him money....don't do or consider it a gift and not a loan). I'm currently debt free again, have my retirement fund being funded again (I was also off work for about 9 months), and have saved for a nice vacation. You just need to shift some things around. You focused on saving for that house, now its time to take care of you again!

[sealy]

Thank you speech your are right. I think I will try to save $10,000 more then begin to concentrate on funding my EF and retirement. I have a retirement fund at work but I do need to do more just to insure all is well.

s