NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 14, 2022 19:59:32 GMT -5
Well, Kids, I got "that" phone call today. My relative died, and no one saw it coming so quickly. I did race down there, and helped clean out his room, and waited with him until the funeral home came to pick him up. This week is going to be about working with the funeral home, and hoping the wait isn't long to get him into the military cemetery.
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skeeter
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Post by skeeter on Aug 14, 2022 19:59:50 GMT -5
Well, Kids, I got "that" phone call today. My relative died, and no one saw it coming so quickly. I did race down there, and helped clean out his room, and waited with him until the funeral home came to pick him up. This week is going to be about working with the funeral home, and hoping the wait isn't long to get him into the military cemetery. Oh God, I'm so sorry.
I've been following your relative's journey and his ups and downs. You were a wonderful advocate for him with lots of love that showed itself in how well you took care of him and his needs.
Please try a take some time just for yourself and know that you are cared about by your "internet friends".
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ken a.k.a OMK
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Aug 14, 2022 20:11:40 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 15, 2022 1:40:15 GMT -5
Well, Kids, I got "that" phone call today. My relative died, and no one saw it coming so quickly. I did race down there, and helped clean out his room, and waited with him until the funeral home came to pick him up. This week is going to be about working with the funeral home, and hoping the wait isn't long to get him into the military cemetery. I'm so sorry. Even though it was expected, that doesn't make it easy. Big hugs. ❤
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 15, 2022 9:38:28 GMT -5
It's never easy busymom Please take some time for you. You've devoted a lot of time to your family member, especially these past few months.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 15, 2022 12:04:10 GMT -5
My DGDs both start preschool today. They attend on the days I have watched them, for the last 3-4 years. Although I get to sleep in now, I feel rather lost. Not sure what I'm going to do.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 15, 2022 14:52:03 GMT -5
My DGDs both start preschool today. They attend on the days I have watched them, for the last 3-4 years. Although I get to sleep in now, I feel rather lost. Not sure what I'm going to do. I was lost when my great niece and nephew started school. Great nephew is a senior this year. I had been taking care of the kids 1 day a week since my great niece was 2. Then her all day and him before and after school until she started school. Until he was in 5th grade, I went in one morning a week and took them to school and back in the afternoon to take them home. One day I unknowingly kidnapped him from after school care. He didn't come out so we went in to get him. He came out. On the drive to their house, I asked if he had checked in and he said yes. Called my niece and she called after school care. They didn't know he was missing which upset her. When he was in 5th grade, one day a week I took them to school because he was in band. What's worse is both of them act like they have no idea of who I am.
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snapdragon
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Post by snapdragon on Aug 15, 2022 15:09:08 GMT -5
Sending virtual hugs to your family Busy.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 15, 2022 17:27:59 GMT -5
My DGDs both start preschool today. They attend on the days I have watched them, for the last 3-4 years. Although I get to sleep in now, I feel rather lost. Not sure what I'm going to do. I was lost when my great niece and nephew started school. Great nephew is a senior this year. I had been taking care of the kids 1 day a week since my great niece was 2. Then her all day and him before and after school until she started school. Until he was in 5th grade, I went in one morning a week and took them to school and back in the afternoon to take them home. One day I unknowingly kidnapped him from after school care. He didn't come out so we went in to get him. He came out. On the drive to their house, I asked if he had checked in and he said yes. Called my niece and she called after school care. They didn't know he was missing which upset her. When he was in 5th grade, one day a week I took them to school because he was in band. What's worse is both of them act like they have no idea of who I am. That's so sad. It's what I'm afraid is going to happen to us. Especially because the parents drop them off and pick them up from my Ex2, for him to watch them and he is allowed to drive with them. They don't have school on the days he watches them. They don't even visit me, at my place. I have to go there. It gets really old. I get tired of being responsible for everything. I'm sorry for what you went through. It sucks.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 15, 2022 17:59:44 GMT -5
You can tell that they didn't visit. They only come when I ask them to come help me with something.
My niece was absolutely wonderful when I had my gallbladder surgery. She took great care of me, but she is a surgical nurse. She was in the next operating room when I had my surgery. She was scrubbing up when they realized I was having open surgery, so a nurse went and told her.
She later told me she thought from the size of my incision, I would not be able to take care of myself for a while and she was prepared to let me stay with them even with the kids and the dogs.
Since Medicare approved a home health care nurse, I came home, but it was my niece who came to check on me and had to explain to her mother than because I had the nurse, I couldn't take dad to lunch. When Medicare is paying for a nurse, you can only go to doctor's appointments and pick up prescriptions, church and to get your hair done. My niece brought food for me. She came out to sit in the bathroom while I showered because I was afraid I would faint. I never did faint while in the shower, but I didn't want to be alone if I did.
My sister told me I was taking advantage of my niece.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 15, 2022 19:29:31 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Thank you for your kind thoughts. I've been spending the day finding all of the paperwork the funeral home has requested. It's one of those times I'm glad I tend to hang onto stuff. I couldn't even get an appointment until Wednesday. Probably just as well with everything I need to bring along. He had a prepaid plan, and I'm bringing the urn that he picked ahead of time.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 15, 2022 19:33:58 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Thank you for your kind thoughts. I've been spending the day finding all of the paperwork the funeral home has requested. It's one of those times I'm glad I tend to hang onto stuff. I couldn't even get an appointment until Wednesday. Probably just as well with everything I need to bring along. He had a prepaid plan, and I'm bringing the urn that he picked ahead of time. Wishing you all the best, as you go through this.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 15, 2022 20:41:01 GMT -5
It helps that he had a prepaid plan busymom. I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 15, 2022 21:06:51 GMT -5
You can tell that they didn't visit. They only come when I ask them to come help me with something. My niece was absolutely wonderful when I had my gallbladder surgery. She took great care of me, but she is a surgical nurse. She was in the next operating room when I had my surgery. She was scrubbing up when they realized I was having open surgery, so a nurse went and told her. She later told me she thought from the size of my incision, I would not be able to take care of myself for a while and she was prepared to let me stay with them even with the kids and the dogs. Since Medicare approved a home health care nurse, I came home, but it was my niece who came to check on me and had to explain to her mother than because I had the nurse, I couldn't take dad to lunch. When Medicare is paying for a nurse, you can only go to doctor's appointments and pick up prescriptions, church and to get your hair done. My niece brought food for me. She came out to sit in the bathroom while I showered because I was afraid I would faint. I never did faint while in the shower, but I didn't want to be alone if I did. My sister told me I was taking advantage of my niece. I'm sorry your sister added to your stress then.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 15, 2022 22:46:03 GMT -5
Your niece is a blessing, TheOtherMe. But I sometimes think your sister needs a heart transplant. Or, a bigger heart, or something...
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Aug 15, 2022 22:49:35 GMT -5
You can tell that they didn't visit. They only come when I ask them to come help me with something. My niece was absolutely wonderful when I had my gallbladder surgery. She took great care of me, but she is a surgical nurse. She was in the next operating room when I had my surgery. She was scrubbing up when they realized I was having open surgery, so a nurse went and told her. She later told me she thought from the size of my incision, I would not be able to take care of myself for a while and she was prepared to let me stay with them even with the kids and the dogs. Since Medicare approved a home health care nurse, I came home, but it was my niece who came to check on me and had to explain to her mother than because I had the nurse, I couldn't take dad to lunch. When Medicare is paying for a nurse, you can only go to doctor's appointments and pick up prescriptions, church and to get your hair done. My niece brought food for me. She came out to sit in the bathroom while I showered because I was afraid I would faint. I never did faint while in the shower, but I didn't want to be alone if I did. My sister told me I was taking advantage of my niece. I remember this! You were very appreciative of your niece then too ❤
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 16, 2022 10:27:38 GMT -5
There was also a poster here who lives 90 minutes away from me who brought me dry shampoo because my sister never heard of it. As NIL says, my sister is not capable of empathy, at least when it comes to NIL or me.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 16, 2022 13:07:03 GMT -5
There was also a poster here who lives 90 minutes away from me who brought me dry shampoo because my sister never heard of it. As NIL says, my sister is not capable of empathy, at least when it comes to NIL or me. Wow.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 16, 2022 14:54:44 GMT -5
I don't know how she got like this as that is not the way we were raised. She is one of the fake Christians. It's easy to put on a show on Sunday morning but when you spend any amount of time with a person, the true person eventually appears. If I had known the true person, I would not have moved here.
I would have had to have left Colorado by now because I was renting, but I wouldn't be living where I am now.
My sister has never approved of her daughter-in-law. It's about 99% because she is not from the US. She is from Ukraine. First it was she is using my nephew for a green card. Then it was all she wants is an anchor baby. They didn't have the baby until after she became a US citizen. So now it's she's going to him and hurt him.
I've spent a lot of time with DN1 and his wife and I don't see any hint of that. I know one never knows what is going on behind closed doors, but I don't think they would have stayed married this many years if she had a sinister plan. My sister can't hide her feelings. She says she never says anything. Not with words, but her tone of voice, facial expressions and lack of communication are very telling. That's why DN1 and NIL were here a year ago early one morning with NIL crying because her MIL "doesn't even like me". She is right. She doesn't.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 16, 2022 15:04:13 GMT -5
I don't know how she got like this as that is not the way we were raised. She is one of the fake Christians. It's easy to put on a show on Sunday morning but when you spend any amount of time with a person, the true person eventually appears. If I had known the true person, I would not have moved here. I would have had to have left Colorado by now because I was renting, but I wouldn't be living where I am now. My sister has never approved of her daughter-in-law. It's about 99% because she is not from the US. She is from Ukraine. First it was she is using my nephew for a green card. Then it was all she wants is an anchor baby. They didn't have the baby until after she became a US citizen. So now it's she's going to him and hurt him. I've spent a lot of time with DN1 and his wife and I don't see any hint of that. I know one never knows what is going on behind closed doors, but I don't think they would have stayed married this many years if she had a sinister plan. My sister can't hide her feelings. She says she never says anything. Not with words, but her tone of voice, facial expressions and lack of communication are very telling. That's why DN1 and NIL were here a year ago early one morning with NIL crying because her MIL "doesn't even like me". She is right. She doesn't.She sounds a lot like my EX MIL. She was not happy with her baby marrying someone from the wrong side of the tracks!! She offered to pay my way thru college if I would wait to get married. I told her no problem I still had 2 yrs left on VA paying my way thru. Fast forward into 12 yrs married and she offered me $10,000 to divorce her baby. I told her 10 grand wouldn't get me to the curb this was in 76 now if she had ponied up $100,000 I might have given it serious thought.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 17, 2022 8:02:35 GMT -5
Good Morning Kids! I didn't realize that I'd forgotten to post here yesterday until now. I had a long-postponed doctor's appointment yesterday. Anyone else get what feels like muscle pain along your outer ribs, at about the braline? It gets worse by the end of the day. (And yes, I wear a bra.) Doctor isn't sure if I pulled a muscle, or what. Could be, as my biggest dog is 30 pounds, and wrestling with him is a struggle sometimes. Anyway, doc suggested adding tumeric, as it can help with inflammation? Never heard of that, but worth a try. I'm tired of being sore. X-rays came up with nothing, so they'll probably do a CAT scan to make sure there are no surprises.
I'm off to the funeral home this morning to make final arrangements. Wish me luck!
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Aug 17, 2022 8:25:09 GMT -5
Good Morning Kids! I didn't realize that I'd forgotten to post here yesterday until now. I had a long-postponed doctor's appointment yesterday. Anyone else get what feels like muscle pain along your outer ribs, at about the braline? It gets worse by the end of the day. (And yes, I wear a bra.) Doctor isn't sure if I pulled a muscle, or what. Could be, as my biggest dog is 30 pounds, and wrestling with him is a struggle sometimes. Anyway, doc suggested adding tumeric, as it can help with inflammation? Never heard of that, but worth a try. I'm tired of being sore. X-rays came up with nothing, so they'll probably do a CAT scan to make sure there are no surprises. I'm off to the funeral home this morning to make final arrangements. Wish me luck! Good luck. I hope everything goes smoothly and quickly, for you.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 17, 2022 8:34:35 GMT -5
Good Morning Kids! I didn't realize that I'd forgotten to post here yesterday until now. I had a long-postponed doctor's appointment yesterday. Anyone else get what feels like muscle pain along your outer ribs, at about the braline? It gets worse by the end of the day. (And yes, I wear a bra.) Doctor isn't sure if I pulled a muscle, or what. Could be, as my biggest dog is 30 pounds, and wrestling with him is a struggle sometimes. Anyway, doc suggested adding tumeric, as it can help with inflammation? Never heard of that, but worth a try. I'm tired of being sore. X-rays came up with nothing, so they'll probably do a CAT scan to make sure there are no surprises. I'm off to the funeral home this morning to make final arrangements. Wish me luck! I sprinkle a tad of turmeric of some food on occasion. Just a tad though. It can be overpowering. I buy a little bag/loose of it at Fresh Market and put in a shaker. Just a warning FWIW I had a friend who bought pill form and had a major rash breakout so think about that - not to scare you. I haven't had any problems but friend used one method and me another.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 17, 2022 10:22:46 GMT -5
I'm off to the funeral home this morning to make final arrangements. Wish me luck! Hope this goes as smoothly as possible for you. Hoping the prepaid plan included some direction as to what he wanted.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 17, 2022 10:25:40 GMT -5
Hope all goes well busymom It’s never easy
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 18, 2022 19:39:49 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Still too busy dealing with the funeral. It isn't the funeral preparations that's the main problem. It's the military cemetery.
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Post by Opti on Aug 18, 2022 19:47:28 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Still too busy dealing with the funeral. It isn't the funeral preparations that's the main problem. It's the military cemetery. What are the current issues with the military cemetery?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 18, 2022 20:10:04 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Still too busy dealing with the funeral. It isn't the funeral preparations that's the main problem. It's the military cemetery. Delays?
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 18, 2022 20:10:36 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Still too busy dealing with the funeral. It isn't the funeral preparations that's the main problem. It's the military cemetery. What are the current issues with the military cemetery? It's a long story, but the burial there was set up years ago. Then this week I found out they lost all of the paperwork. Everything. And, resubmitting the old paperwork, which I still have, isn't good enough. I have to start from scratch. Please pray I can provide them with everything they need. Thankful I hang onto anything that might be important, but dang, I am SO mad right now I could burst into flames...
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 18, 2022 20:12:26 GMT -5
Good Evening Kids! Still too busy dealing with the funeral. It isn't the funeral preparations that's the main problem. It's the military cemetery. Delays? That too, but at least I was expecting that. Thank goodness he chose cremation. I'd hate to put a body into cold storage for that long.
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