Depression Support

[Deleted]

What things do you all find useful in helping to overcome depression? What has worked for all of you?

[femmefatale]

Jul 14, 2012 23:35:59 GMT -5 @shooby said:

What things do you all find useful in helping to overcome depression? What has worked for all of you?

Prayer and lots of strength from within. Thinking positive, not letting negative people bring me down when I can. Sometimes it's hard.

[Jaguar]

Jul 14, 2012 23:35:59 GMT -5 @shooby said:

What things do you all find useful in helping to overcome depression? What has worked for all of you?

Meditation and Brainwave Entrainment hands down.

[femmefatale]

Sugi, I wish I knew how to meditate correctly.

[Deleted]

What is brain wave entraiment?

[femmefatale]

LOL, shooby! Are u drinking?

[Jaguar]

Jul 14, 2012 23:53:47 GMT -5 @shooby said:

What is brain wave entraiment?

Here's Wiki's write up on it ~

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainwave_entrainment

[Deleted]

Jul 14, 2012 23:55:22 GMT -5 @femmefatale said:

LOL, shooby! Are u drinking?

No! Why do you ask? I did eat a lot of fudge today though! lol

[femmefatale]

Jul 15, 2012 0:08:35 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Jul 14, 2012 23:55:22 GMT -5 @femmefatale said:

LOL, shooby! Are u drinking?

No! Why do you ask? I did eat a lot of fudge today though! lol

Lmao! I'm playing with ya! Fudge is so good!

[Jaguar]

Jul 15, 2012 0:08:35 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Jul 14, 2012 23:55:22 GMT -5 @femmefatale said:

LOL, shooby! Are u drinking?

No! Why do you ask? I did eat a lot of fudge today though! lol

Oh you have a chocolate high ?

[Deleted]

Suuuugaarrr!

[Jaguar]

Jul 15, 2012 0:09:24 GMT -5 @femmefatale said:

Jul 15, 2012 0:08:35 GMT -5 @shooby said:

No! Why do you ask? I did eat a lot of fudge today though! lol

Lmao! I'm playing with ya! Fudge is so good!

Oh yes fudge is real nice but so addictive. Especially when it's made right.

[busymom]

What's helped me is: praying, doing things for people outside of our immediate family, meeting a parent whose child has bigger problems than my DS (although my DS probably won't be able to live independently as an adult), decluttering (that paperwork piles up fast!)


It's after midnight here, so if I think of anything else I'll let you know later. I'd better get some sleep. Goodnight!

[Jaguar]

Jul 15, 2012 0:10:01 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Suuuugaarrr!

Good time to go cleaning and burn some of it off. jk

[busymom]

Oh yeah! Food, especially sweets! ;D Chocolate anyone?

[Jaguar]

Good Night Busy.

[femmefatale]

Jul 15, 2012 0:11:43 GMT -5 busymom said:

Oh yeah! Food, especially sweets! ;D Chocolate anyone?

Oh hell yes! It's PMS TIME! Throw me some, bmom! ;D

[Deleted]

Jul 14, 2012 23:35:59 GMT -5 @shooby said:

What things do you all find useful in helping to overcome depression? What has worked for all of you?

There was a time I was diagnosed with depression. I was overwhelmed with problems, some of them very serious and I felt hopeless. Sometimes getting out of bed to start my day seemed like moving a mountain. Sometimes I would cry and cry and cry, but I couldn't say why I was crying. Sometimes I was really, really angry, for no apparent reason. I really thought I was going crazy, then I noticed that my sympotms got much worse a week to 10 days before my cycle started. That was another diagnosis. I'd been resistant to taking antidepressants, but finally agreed to try them because I just didn't care about much besides my kids anymore, I was barely functioning and my kids needed me. The meds didn't work for me. Therapy didn't do much either. Eventually I started finding my own answers.

I finally made a list of the things that were bothering me the most and started to figure out what I was going to do about them. Around the same time, I read some posts by a practicing physician who's a Buddhist. On one, I read his opinion that people sometimes get depressed because they believe they can't solve their problems and how it's helpful to change your beliefs and your thoughts. Sometimes there's a disconnect between what we "know" and what we "believe". And there was some stuff about recognizing delusions we hold and letting them go or correcting them.

Anyway, reading that was helpful to me at the time, because I WAS depressed because I had so many problems and I DIDN'T believe I could do anything about them. When I pondered on it, I realized I had been lying to myself, I DID care about a lot of things and another belief was false, because I COULD do something about my problems.

I went through my list with those things in mind and figured out what I could work on changing/improving, what I needed to change my perspective about and what I needed to remove from my life. Those were my only options for my list. The things I decided to fix gave me something to focus on, and I think that started the ball rolling.

Life didn't suddenly become rosy, but I started to see (again) that my life had possibilities and I could make changes. So I didn't feel hopeless anymore and gradually the depression got better. I started being able to talk myself into moving the mountain and getting out of bed anyway on some of the really bad days, the crying became less frequent and I was angry and irritable less often.

Also, while I was trying working on myself, I'd stumble on the right information I needed at the exact time I needed it. It was like the answers I needed were all around me, waiting for me to be ready to receive them. I had several of what I called epiphanies. Moments when things came to me out of the blue, with clarity and they made perfect sense. And sometimes random things would happen or random people would say something that gave me an "a-ha" moment. It was all very weird, but I think it was God helping me out. Lord knows I was doing a lot of praying.

It was a difficult journey, and I still have a hard time some months before my cycle (Before, the hard time was much worse and like clockwork every. single. month.), but I've come a long way. When something starts to really bother me now, I try to figure out what to do about it. Same 3 options. I know that getting overwhelmed is the start of issues for me.

I don't dare say that what worked for me will work for everybody else. I know that depression is complex, and everybody's story is different. I was just answering shooby's question and shared my story. Apologies for being so long-winded.

[Deleted]

Pink - Excellent post! Thank you for your insight! I think i have come round about through a similar journey. A lot of the problem is our "stinkin' thinkin'". Where this droning recording of thoughts take over telling us what we can't do and what is wrong with us and that we are hopeless and helpless. Our minds beat ourselves up for mistakes of the past, for real and imagined failures, for being a flawed human being. I had to learn to retrain my brain in stopping this cycle. It took many years before i truly learned to enjoy the joys of TODAY. It seemed i was either thinking about the past and or focusing on what is to come and missing today. Letting go of what is behind, focusing on Today and pressing on has really helped to sharpen my focus and allow me to truly enjoy life. And, happiness is a fleeting goal. We all have temporary happiness of getting an award, buying something new or enjoying a piece of cheesecake or whatever. What i was longing for was a deeper Joy. I realize that we all have a spark and a twinkle of life that enriches the planet in our own way. I allowed depression to rob me of the zest for life. Looking at my kids and their friends i just see the pure joy of living and how each one is such a wonderful energy in their own ways. I allowed depression to almost destroy me by telling me that who i was didnt matter or that what i am is of no value. But each baby step i have taken forward has allowed me to really embrace myself and my talents and desires. It is freeing to finally feel comfortable in your own skin something that took years. I now have more fun than i ever had. I have learned to laugh and embrace my own skills but also laugh at my flaws. We are all a work in progress. And, it took a long time of wrestling with my own brain to finally have those moments of clarity. But, there is hope and i hope i can help some fellow travelers along the way as well and give them encouragement.

[Deleted]

BTW, pink:

[busymom]

Don't you think too, as women, we're too self-critical? If we don't have the perfect hair, great nails, perfect figure, etc. we get too self-critical. (Of course, society doesn't help by always reminding us of how we could "look" better.) I think basic self-acceptance goes a long way in making you feel good about yourself, and life in general. I'm definitely a happier person now than I was in my 20's. The opinion of other people really doesn't matter much anymore....

[Deleted]

I just typed another mini novel and it got zapped on this stupid hotel wifi! Ugh! I had typed that i absolutely agree with busymom! That with 24 hours of Lifestyles of the rich and famous, it is easy to feel that we don't measure up. That we are pretty enough, thin enough, healthy enough, rich enough, and on and on. You see instant millionaires and teen billionaires and 12 yr old kids becoming superstars. I am sure this is going to put even more pressure on our kids. And, you think you must have it "all". A certain career, marriage, kids, dog, cars, vacations and that if you don't you have failed . And, of course in the midst of that your home must be immaculate, clutter free. You shouldn't be taking shortcuts through the drive thru but be cooking homemade dinners every night and on and on. And, you can't just have an OK lawn, it has to be mulched, landscaped, and more and more and more. We raise the bar higher and higher and continually add another brick of responsibilities on our backs because every new thing we acquire has to be cleaned, stored, maintained. There are some truly superwomen full of energy who can juggle all those balls in the air and want to. I did for awhile. But, i found i could have it all and didn't want it. I dont' want a life in the fast lane. I like simple pleasures. Enjoying a hot cup of coffee or just sitting by the creek is all i need to be happy. I don't need to live someone else's version of my life. So, when i finally allowed myself to be who i wanted to be , we downsized our home, changed our lifestyle, i took a different career path that has allowed me to earn a decent income but also be home a lot more with my kids. More time at home has allowed me to truly enjoy cooking good meals and stuff like that. And, at some point, you have to accept that you aren't going to ever wear a bikini again and that is OK.

[mmhmm]

Agreed, with relish, shooby! Accepting yourself for who you are, not feeling you have to impress the world, being comfortable in your own skin and letting others wear theirs, and spending as much time as you can with those you love, and who love you, is what leads to real happiness, IMO.

[Deleted]

[Deleted]

For me, figuring out that it was ok to be me was part of what I ended up with. But what started me down that path was, I lost someone I loved dearly, my son was in therapy and ended up hospitalized for suicidal thoughts, my daughter was diagnosed with a kidney defect that required surgery to correct, and my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. In that order and all within 3 months. I was losing income trying to take care of everybody, and I had major medical bills for my kids. I had a big witch of a boss who knew I was under stress because I kept having to submit medical paperwork from my kids' doctors to my job, but she thought it was ok to yell and curse at me when I was working. Nothing personal, just her personality, but I couldn't deal with it and was scared to death I was going to lose it and hit her one day. Those are the highlights.

I didn't have anybody to lean on, nobody to help me make decisions for my kids, nobody to hold my hand and say "It's going to be ok". I held it together until everybody was healthier, then I withdrew mentally and emotionally from life. It was too painful. What I hated most about depression was that it made me feel like I was weak and I'd never thought I was weak before. On some level I knew that wasn't true, I'd stood strong through a lot of simultaneous stuff, but it was hard to remember that.

It was clearly a series of events and situations that led to my depression. I probably would have managed better if it hadn't all happened at the same time, but it did and it took everything I had just to get through it. All my gumption and spirit was drained and I had nothing left for me.

[Deleted]

Kudos to you for making it through!

[Deleted]

Thanks shooby!

[busymom]

<Hugs> for Pink. It does seem that when Murphy comes bringing his bag of troubles, the trouble comes in groups.


I hope you're feeling better now. I think when you've got difficult situations going on both at home & work, it doesn't seem like anyplace is "safe". Not to vent, or to have a good cry, if you need one. I think everyone needs one place in the world to destress, and be yourself without being judged.

[femmefatale]

Jul 15, 2012 7:44:58 GMT -5 busymom said:

Don't you think too, as women, we're too self-critical? If we don't have the perfect hair, great nails, perfect figure, etc. we get too self-critical. (Of course, society doesn't help by always reminding us of how we could "look" better.) I think basic self-acceptance goes a long way in making you feel good about yourself, and life in general. I'm definitely a happier person now than I was in my 20's. The opinion of other people really doesn't matter much anymore....

100% agree, bmom. Definitely we women are very self-critical. I know I sure am. Society definitely makes it worse...Great point.

[Deleted]

Do you find that crowds increase your sense of loneliness? I really find that when i am out and about in large crowds, as i am right now at Disney, that i realize that really aren't many people on the planet who give a flip if i live or die. Really, just DH and the kids, my mom and a couple of close friends. Maybe that is true for everyone.