Mental - Physical - Financial Clutter

[mizbear]

Do you find that your mental, physical and financial clutter are connected?
Which do you feel you have to clear first to work on the next or are they interconnected so much that you must work on them all at once?

I ask this because I am trying to streamline everything while I declutter and find all the leaks and leeches in my budget. I am a list-maker and sometimes look at the list and want to run off screaming.

I had my goals posted on the fridge, but I decided it wasn't everyone who got a scoop of ice cream's business how close I was to my savings goals, etc.

Suggestions??

[busymom]

I too function better with less (physical) clutter around, and things more organized.


What's up with that?

[mizbear]

I think with me it's a distraction- kind of like a kid with more toys... but it's also one more thing I look at and day- ugh, I have XYZ to do. DM and DB are not bothered by clutter, therefore I can not bounce this question off of them.

[midjd]

Do you find that your mental, physical and financial clutter are connected?

Oh, definitely. I have a touch of ADD so trying to tackle them all at once is overwhelming... I usually try to concentrate on what I have the most immediate control over (usually physical clutter) and then make lists for the rest.

A few things that have helped are really breaking down the list tasks step by step - instead of "clean out closet", "remove clothes, sort clothes into keep/trash/mend/Goodwill piles, organize by style," etc. It makes you feel much more accomplished when you cross off 3 things instead of 1 ;D I also try to set at least one realistic goal I can accomplish that day, even if it's just a small one (like having a NSD).

Can you keep your list of goals in your wallet, underwear drawer, or somewhere else you look at fairly frequently but isn't public?

[mizbear]

mid- That is what I have had to do- put them on the computer and then I also print a copy out once or twice a week to edit from the comfort of the couch while sipping tea. Any hardcopies I keep in my folder.

Never thought about sticking it in the underwear drawer- it's probably the one sacred thing left in this apartment!

[yogiii]

Yes - seeing something that is messy or disorganized stresses me out (if it's in my house). We've been undertaking some pretty big tasks this summer, like cleaning/organizing the basement and garage. I've also found that making a list with very specific tasks helps and crossing them off feels good. I'll admit, sometimes part of cleaning the garage involves "throw that box upstairs" but we're working from the bottom up . I hope to clean the upstairs this winter. On the plus side, after about 2 months of work the garage and basement are done and look fabulous. It's a good feeling.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm with yogii, the clutter stresses me out. I literally walk into the house and feel myself tensing up. I know clutter can be a stressor for people. And the worse the mess gets, the worse my stress gets. And right now, running the house is pretty much falling onto me and I can't do it all. DH doesnt' really notice the mess although it does stress him out too. He's so very focused on the current diet/detoxing and researching stuff for it. I don't think he realizes just how much stuff I do around the house/with the kids. I leave for training in about 5 weeks and it's all going to fall on him for 5 days.

Anyway, if I start writing about my home life, there's going to be a novel here. So I'll stop now.

[sbcalimom]

I have a similar issue as Beth that DH doesn't even notice the clutter/disaster area that our apartment often becomes. We have too much stuff and too many people in our little 2bd apartment so it is a recipe for disaster. Right now I'm on maternity leave and still recovering so I really have let things go more than normal but I still try to tackle one project a day. It can be really stressful think about all the things I need to do so I just focus on one task at a time.

As far as financial clutter, I have a set process I go through for basic budgeting. I have our annual budget goals and then each month I project what I'll pay with each check that is coming in. I typically only do about 1 month out so I can account for the irregular stuff or extra amounts that I know are coming up. I also keep my list on my computer since I'm on it every day. I look at it at least 3-4x a week so even though there isn't a physical copy, it is pretty visible.

[mizbear]

I was beginning to think maybe it was just me.
I will admit I am a little anal, I have OCD, but I like to have everything in it's place so I can just come in from laundry, the store, wherever and put stuff where it goes. I feel like I spend more when there is clutter (for instance, I get more stressed and instead of being a treat, that SB becomes a necessity).
DM doesn't mind clutter or messes for that matter... she wonders why I have told her she can't move in...
There is not enough medication in the world...

[mizbear]

cheapcat- That's okay! I always think that I am the only person who has a family like that.

I was able to start getting rid of a lot of my personal clutter when I realized that there is no one in my life anymore who can destroy everything I have and therefore there is no need to keep everything- although there are things I wish I had- school awards, my first crush's obit, etc. My father actually kicked my Barbie camper to shreds- so I kept the interior pieces and built a Barbie apt out of duct tape, Super Glue and wine boxes.
After my grandfather died and my DM and DGM both started getting sick, my aunt and uncles started chiming in on the clutter at DGMs- they were willing to help, but not if it meant that they were going to have to keep coming back in and re-doing the declutter. Of course then DB moved back with all his clutter, kicked DM out of her bedroom and the reno got started...

I don't ask for DBs help bringing stuff to my apartment anymore- he brings it up 30 boxes at a time and plants them in my living room.

[Deleted]

Aug 9, 2011 19:07:27 GMT -5 mizbear said:

Do you find that your mental, physical and financial clutter are connected?
Which do you feel you have to clear first to work on the next or are they interconnected so much that you must work on them all at once?

I think they definitely can be related. If you're mentally overwhelmed, it can be difficult to keep other areas under control. If you're overwhelmed by your physical surroundings, it can have a negative impact on you mentally/emotionally. If you're overwhelmed by your financial situation, it can affect you mentally and you may be less likely to stay on top of things around your home.

When I was at my low point, I couldn't address any one area without addressing another. I went round and round in circles, not knowing where to start. I had to deal with mountains of mail before I could deal with the money situation. I had to deal with the money situation before I could figure out how to address some critical problems with my house that were stressing me out. I had to get in a better place mentally before I could try to get my house back in some kind of order; I'd let things go because I didn't want to deal with it, but the chaos created stress too.

When all that stress started to affect my physical health, I started taking little steps, just enough to get me to the next step. As things started to come together, I gained momentum. Three years later, I'm in a much better place mentally and financially. My home is still a work in progress, but I no longer worry about it burning down, caving in, or harboring mold, it's a lot cleaner, has a lot less junk in it, and everything works except for the dishwasher I still haven't replaced, so it's better too.

[Wisconsin Beth]

God. Pink. Add in 2 toddlers and a DH with health/diet issues and you've got me.

[midjd]

to all you ladies. It is good to feel like I'm not alone

[mizbear]

I am in the process of writing a long term decluttering plan right now.
It will cover all of the areas- including destressing.
I will put it up this weekend for everyoe to take a gander at. It's pretty extensive right now sonce we are still working at DGMs house.

[Deleted]

Beth, instead of 2 toddlers, I had 2 teenagers at the time. One of whom was intent on giving me hell.

Contant, long term stress can literally make you sick. I hope you get some things worked out soon.

[Wisconsin Beth]

We're working on some of it. DH is about to start a make-or-break diet change. We'll know somewhere between Halloween and Christmas if it's working or not.

[stanthedevil]

Over the last couple of months, I've come to the realization that all three are strongly interconnected and interwoven and where one goes, the others soon follow.

A little over a year ago, I hit as close to the bottom as I ever hope in all three areas. My mom passed away unexpectedly (She had been battling cancer for almost 10 years, but four days before she died, she was out to lunch with her sisters and in relatively good health.) I had been restructured out of a full time job and taken a part time dream job but was using credit cards to cover the gaps. Physically, I was falling apart at the seams. I was putting on weight like it was my job and as a consequence of poor health habits and mental and financial stress, I was constantly tired and run down. And, because I was tired all the time, my apartment descended into cluttered chaos. I've never been claustrophobic, but suddenly I felt like the walls were closing in on me.

But now, the part time dream job turned into a full time dream job (with benefits!) and my financial picture is much rosier (though the mountain of debt feels awfully heavy some days). This summer I've sorted, organized, tossed out, and decluttered most of my apartment. I also have been eating better and losing weight. I have energy to cook and my kitchen is so neat and organized that cooking is fun again.

I'm glad I realized that health as a big picture involves maintaining healthy habits in all areas of my life -- physical, mental, and financial.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Good for you stan. and you're welcome to the WIR Losers for support in losing weight.

[mizbear]

Yes- Join us, we are losing weight and decluttering!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I posted some of this on the decluttering thread but thought I add it here too. On Thursday night, I broke down and started crying to DH about the mess the house is, money worries, parenting, etc. I was trying to recap this thread and in particular Pink's post #10 while crying (that didn't work so well) but DH basically said he's on board with a 15-30 minute nightly clean.

And I'm resisting the urge to vent about why did it have to get to this point anyway.

[yogiii]

Beth - I've had some of those thoughts as well. Sometimes it seems lately that DH and I have to almost yell at each other to get it through that something is serious and bothers one of us. It's not like we're even sitting there and fighting about it, it's just that we need to act that way to invoke an appropriate reaction from the other person. I honestly think it is since having a kid. We're just so pre-occupied with different things that we feel we need to get upset in order to be heard. I think now that we've realized this we're both going to put in some extra effort to listen to each other more.

[mizbear]

That's how it's been with DM my whole life- clutter and messes don't seem to bother her- but it drives me nuts- and we essentially were raised by the same people because my grandparents always had me every time she and my father goofed up.

I am trying to clear my mental clutter this week. I am not getting much done with this boot on- so I am taking advantage.

The master list is still being revamped.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Aug 15, 2011 14:19:29 GMT -5 yogiii said:

Beth - I've had some of those thoughts as well. Sometimes it seems lately that DH and I have to almost yell at each other to get it through that something is serious and bothers one of us. It's not like we're even sitting there and fighting about it, it's just that we need to act that way to invoke an appropriate reaction from the other person. I honestly think it is since having a kid. We're just so pre-occupied with different things that we feel we need to get upset in order to be heard. I think now that we've realized this we're both going to put in some extra effort to listen to each other more.

Yeah, we thought we had decent communication skills. Nope, not once the kids came along.

[weezybear]

I have bipolar disease and when I go manic ( like flying like a kiteHigh) I end up cleaning the house top to bottom and getting rid of all the stuff thats been crammed in closets and under the beds. It happens quite often so I have a clean house about 5 times a year (Really clean).

[mizbear]

WEEZYBEAR!!!!!! (mizbear runs across the board, jumps and tackles weezybear in a huge hug)
I miss you!

Yes, I can relate- I have bipolar bear syndrome at my place too. I am getting ready to do a big clean out right now. And I feel like I just did one...

[weezybear]

I've been manic since friday and everything is going out of the house. I started with christmas decrations. I have 7 large garbage bags o new decorations I have bought when I wouked at a department store (don't work there any more) and I started on the sewing stugg my Aunt gave me, I got 6 garbage bags from there. I went to the back closetan got 4 garbage bags from ther and another 6 bags from other places. I'm living in a house of garbage bags right now until I get them to the charities in the city.
I hope the mainia will slow down soon.

[weezybear]

I've been manic since friday and everything is going out of the house. I started with christmas decrations. I have 7 large garbage bags o new decorations I have bought when I wouked at a department store (don't work there any more) and I started on the sewing stugg my Aunt gave me, I got 6 garbage bags from there. I went to the back closetan got 4 garbage bags from ther and another 6 bags from other places. I'm living in a house of garbage bags right now until I get them to the charities in the city.
I hope the mainia will slow down soon.

[mizbear]

One thing that irks me is when someone else walks into my clutter and judges it. DB has trash (empty food containers, dirty dishes, etc) in the bedroom-that-he-kicked-DM-out-of-to-make-his, but comes into my apartment and expects it to look like June Cleaver lives here. His kids have put a rip in my less than a year old leather couch- but that's not important. I havepapers pulled out to refile, purge and shred- but it doesn't matter. I was loading, unloading and emptying the dishwasher while cooking my dinner- he didn't care.

I think the next time he needs my computer I might remind him that I gave him one for free- since he's too cheap to pay his child support he should have plenty of money for dial up!

Sorry for ranting...My brain is cluttered at the moment.

[Wisconsin Beth]

It's ok Bear. Rant away to us as it beats clobbering your brother over the head with the dishes...

[mizbear]

Dishes? Hmmph! I'd whack him with a piece of my cast iron! ;D