Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 12, 2011 15:36:58 GMT -5
It's all the OTHER things (like complaining that the flowers your friend BOUGHT you are real instead of fake, like asking her to throw yet another shower, like being completely unappreciative that a friend would spend quite a bit of time/money to make you feel special) that make her, IMO, a foolish person and a bad friend.
Let's not forget asking the OP to buy her lunch and oh yeah can you buy it for all my family members too since we have no money for food?
I have a friend who is currently unmarried and pregnant, but she doesn't text me on her i-phone asking me to buy her food after showing off her great new halloween outfit.
I'm supportive because she's supportive of me and always has been. She doesn't come with any drama.
Friends having problems is different than friends with drama. The OP's friend sounds like she thrives on drama and there is no need for the OP to get herself wrapped up in it.
Post by seriousthistime on Sept 14, 2011 7:10:07 GMT -5
It sounds like you are right about the foul-weather friend thing. Both DH and I have several friends who only seem to come around when they need a little help fixing their lives.
Well said, and timely. A friend of mine pointed out that I have three people in my life that I'm really frustrated with for exactly that reason. And whenever I point out to these people how they could improve their lives because they are making their own problems, I get the "I can't do that because..." or "I don't want to do that because..." routine. Same friend who pointed out the similarities between these three people suggested that until I figure out how not to attract these sorts of people to me, there will be more and more of them. So I am now keeping them at arm's length, friendly but not really friends.
Post by seriousthistime on Sept 18, 2011 18:02:13 GMT -5
I do not feel that i am obligated to evaluate and fix my friends lives. If they ask my advice, i give it. If not, i dont'. If they don't follow my advice, their choice. But, i don't expect my friends to live their lives just as i would. Some people are just not good with money or relationships or whatever but i may still value their friendship.
Well, snerd, I agree with you to a point. However, the friends I am thinking of are big on the "woe is me" routine and the "things are easy for you" routine, not to mention the "if you listen and don't disagree, you must agree and support me in ,u misery." So if they want to vent to me they will hear what I have to say. I do not care to listen to someone's venting about problems of their own making. (Hello Doxie ...?) The "Oh, that's too bad" response only goes so far.
Post by seriousthistime on Sept 19, 2011 7:22:10 GMT -5
That is why I wrote:
So I am now keeping them at arm's length, friendly but not really friends.
I do have to interact with two of them. One is a close relative and another is a coworker whose office is right next to mine; our work forces us to interact on some level. The third is someone that I do not have to interact with and I am doing some serious distancing from her.
frugal - I feel for you. I love children and hate to see them grow up in less than ideal, or even regular, circumstances. Unfortunately there is not much you can do. Your friend will either find her way or she won't.