|
Post by bobbysgirl on Jan 6, 2011 21:40:05 GMT -5
Not any more. It's one of the reasons I did not take a job that was recently offered to me.
|
|
pepperdoo
Established Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2012 11:50:29 GMT -5
Posts: 262
|
Post by pepperdoo on Jan 6, 2011 21:57:17 GMT -5
Yes, and I learned what NOT to do when it comes to spending money.
|
|
Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
Posts: 13,357
|
Post by Tiny on Jan 7, 2011 0:07:09 GMT -5
Yes, I have a friend who spends alot of money while maintaining that she's "poor". I highly doubt she's poor...I suspect she's got some sort of investment (inheritance) income which suppliments her income (which is public info). I think with her level of spending that she should have crashed and burned years ago if she didn't have supplimental income. It's hard not to have a conversation about how much she spent (as she rejoices in some new purchase) or about how she's underpaid. It's like she's enjoying keeping up with the Jones but then apologetic about it. She didn't use to be this way. I don't think she's figured out how to be "quietly" well off and just enjoy the inheritance (I suspect she got). We aren't as close of friends as we use to be - because once as she was griping about how she had to stop going for Saturday drives because gas was sooo expensive she could barely afford to get to work! I once pointed out that $5.00 or $10 a week more for gas shouldn't be that big of a strain since she was planning an expensive vacation AND doing a "designer" remodal of a bathroom (nothing off the self in the bathroom...)
Hey, it's not the latte factor (or price of gas) that makes or breaks a budget...
|
|
|
Post by kristi28 on Jan 7, 2011 0:21:45 GMT -5
My BIL (and his family). They live nearby and everyone knows that you're stuck with family. He is really a nice guy, and doesn't try to show off, but we have to remind him sometimes. The smaller earner in their family makes more than my DH, and will say things like "You should put baby girl into this preschool/dance program/summer camp". We just remind him that we can't afford it and move on. He's not trying to be obtuse; he's just a little clueless.
|
|
happyscooter
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 5, 2011 9:04:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by happyscooter on Jan 7, 2011 9:46:03 GMT -5
2. One is family, spend, spend spend. And always asking why I don't eat out, go to movies, buy a new car, don't buy my kids name brand clothes. I don't like being in CC debt, that's why. The other always had money because they were moochers. Never paid for anything. Carpooled but wouldn't give gas money. Never paid for a babysitter. Used other people's vacation homes, never paid. Never invited anyone to their house.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,287
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 7, 2011 11:03:40 GMT -5
Sure do....one current and one former coworker. The current one is constantly in financial trouble. At the moment, her oven and fridge are on the way out, so she "must" eat out. The tires on her old rust bucket car and her DH's really rust bucket car are bald, so they rented a car to drive three states to buy designer dogs (as opposed to adopting shelter pets...or buying new tires, duh). In the last hour, her DH (who has been home sick for three days) called her, and is contemplating going to the hospital, because he's had a headache for three days straight. She wants him to call the doctor and wait instead. Translation: the hospital copay is about $200. They don't have the cash. The ex-coworker traded a paid-for car for five years of car payments on a vehicle that he "had to have," refinanced a one-bedroom condo for THIRTY years, yet could not live without lunches out, personal trainer, extra cable channels and a direct pipeline to the NFL online store. I offer no help or advice to these folks. You truly cannot fix stupid.
|
|
telephus44
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 10:20:21 GMT -5
Posts: 1,259
|
Post by telephus44 on Jan 7, 2011 11:27:02 GMT -5
Yes, but I think for the most part they can afford it. I don't necessarily like the 1-upmanship (This is BEST vodka; we will only travel on the BEST cuiselines, etc.) but they never directly ask us questions like "Why don't you buy a new car?" or whatever. Plus, they are pretty intelligent so it's nice to be able to have a conversation with friends who can talk about the nature of the universe, the tax code, or merits of buying local and not just the last episode of whatever is popular on TV. I can overlook overspending for that.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Mar 28, 2024 20:59:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2011 11:30:40 GMT -5
Yes, but they spend on me too so I don't say much. My father and a close friend are grandiose about money. So I just accept the expensive meals and gifts and say thank you. I used to try to reciprocate but all that does is inspire them to be more grandiose so I stopped.
|
|
dancinmama
Senior Associate
LIVIN' THE DREAM!!
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 20:49:45 GMT -5
Posts: 10,659
|
Post by dancinmama on Jan 7, 2011 11:31:54 GMT -5
Our friends who used to be big spenders (two couples) have been curtailed by the recession. And although we really enjoy their company,we have always preferred to hang out with family/friends who enjoy the simpler things in life: have a couple of cocktails, throw something on the grill, chat, watch a movie together, and perhaps go to a concert or sporting event together once in a while.
|
|
marvholly
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:45:21 GMT -5
Posts: 6,540
|
Post by marvholly on Jan 7, 2011 12:41:17 GMT -5
I have family that are BIG spenders/earners. He is a $xxx/hour (go >500) LAWYER. tHEY HAVE A big HOUSE IN ONE OF THE top BURBS in the metro area w/taxes to match. They have daily/weekly cleaning/laundry help. They have NO clue what a coupon is. They do NOT cook but order in from $$$ local places every day.
I earn <42K/YEAR and they just do NOT understand why I do not have daily in house help, eat out daily......
|
|
chicg
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 15:55:49 GMT -5
Posts: 742
|
Post by chicg on Jan 7, 2011 16:45:58 GMT -5
Yes, I have this problem. I have several friends who are fairly well off and that doesn't bother me as much as the ones who complain about money in the same breath as describing their new iPad, iMac, car, big house, vacation plans, etc. It's hard to have a conversation, they want to complain but don't want to acknowledge that they're contributing to the problem and don't want advice for help. Then they almost get mad at me for saying "sorry I can't go" or "nope, can't afford a condo yet" or "no need for an iPad." The ones that work hard and can afford carryout and house cleaners and not to have to deal with coupons...good for them, they don't seem to talk money much so it's okay but it is kind of akward when they just assume EVERYONE makes that kind of money and can afford everything.
|
|
Tiny
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 21:22:34 GMT -5
Posts: 13,357
|
Post by Tiny on Jan 7, 2011 16:57:30 GMT -5
Thought about this abit more... and I have a friend couple that's doing very well, a really nice house, really nice cars (older but really nice!), really nice vacations, fun gadgets and hobbies they spend money on - they never complain about money being tight or suggest that I should buy an X because they have one and it's GREAT! or use money as an "excuse" for why something isn't going their way. Sometimes we all do something fun and pricey but usually we do fun and low cost things together.
Maybe it's the attitude, or the way people talk (or don't talk) about money, or maybe way they put (or don't put) everything into a money perspective that makes the difference between an "annoying" big spender and someone who's company you enjoy who also happens to be a big spender.
|
|
|
Post by BeenThere...DoneThat... on Jan 7, 2011 18:18:44 GMT -5
...we have numerous "big-spender" friends/neighbors/coworkers... but I wonder if we'd think the same if our COL wasn't so low... most anyone looks like a big spender compared to us...
|
|
rubyslippers
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 19:32:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,001
|
Post by rubyslippers on Jan 7, 2011 22:12:26 GMT -5
Years ago some friends used to try to get DH and me to go on cruises with a group of people in our area. Our kids were all school age and we'd often ask ourselves how they could keep going on all these vacations. I later found out that these cruises and everything they needed for them were put on their credit cards. There's no way I would've enjoyed a vacation that was charged right from the get go and that's before I even started praticing smart spending. Some of these couples were paying for their vacations years afterwards and another couple is no longer together. DH and I do things with our families and if we want to go on vacation, we save for it first.
|
|
SweetVirginia
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 17:56:15 GMT -5
Posts: 1,360
|
Post by SweetVirginia on Jan 8, 2011 22:52:11 GMT -5
My ex husband is a spendaholic. When we were married, he would take out credit cards in my name (his credit was a wreck) and max them out. I did not know about these credit cards until after I left him. He stopped paying the monthly minimums and left me with the mess. I had to file bankruptcy in 1998. He remarried two years later. His new wife made pretty good money and had good credit. They bought a house here in So Cal just before the housing bubble. He convinced her to cash out 200,000 and he spent all of it on a corvette, Vegas and Cabo San Lucas trips, expensive clothes, etc. He also had accumulated 80,000 in new credit card balances. 10 years after he filed bankruptcy, he and his wife filed again. She finally kicked him out on New Years Day, but she now has terrible credit, and her house is going into foreclosure! He only earns 2,000 per month. Im sure he will soon find a new victim to provide for his lavish spending habits.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Mar 28, 2024 20:59:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2011 11:40:49 GMT -5
"Do you have friends that are big spenders?"
Yes, but they can afford it and are not in debt. So I don't care.... It's THEIR money. They can spend it as they choose!
|
|
|
Post by bobbysgirl on Jan 9, 2011 13:03:47 GMT -5
You truly cannot fix stupid. Good point, Nancy.
|
|
coffeegrl
Established Member
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 0:33:29 GMT -5
Posts: 383
|
Post by coffeegrl on Jan 9, 2011 17:46:55 GMT -5
One of my friends and her DH are big spenders. Granted, as of right now, they have enough money that they don't have to worry about paying the bills and taking vacations and spending as they wish. However, he is a farmer, so one bad year and their entire income is gone until the next season.
I guess I just don't understand some things that they do. They have three cars. One of them was bought new in 2002. So is 8 years old and only has about 5000 miles on it. That's because it was bought for her but they traveled to a large city to buy it and she doesn't drive in the city. So she didn't test drive it (just him) and she didn't realize until they got home that she doesn't like how the seat is in the car. She feels like she's reclining too much to be able to comfortably drive. I've asked why they don't just sell it, get what they can, and have one less insurance payment. Her words, "Oh, I can't do that! I have to have a sporty car!"
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Mar 28, 2024 20:59:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2011 18:03:47 GMT -5
Not so much anymore. Even our "big spender" friends have scaled back. Not to the point that I would risk going shopping with them though!
|
|
sccdf
New Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 16:43:07 GMT -5
Posts: 46
|
Post by sccdf on Jan 9, 2011 18:45:01 GMT -5
Most of my friends are frugal. They are working mom's who don't have time to shop.
I do have friends that I know just because we go to the same discount stores on the sale days. We show each others our finds.
|
|
|
Post by tiredturkey on Jan 10, 2011 18:15:47 GMT -5
Oh yes. I have an acquaintance-not a friend any longer-who told me about her new Iphone (the most expensive one), her new, upgraded Kindle, her new flat-screen TV that is bigger than my TV's and my computer monitor put together, her new laptop, her new satellite radio receiver, her new wireless alarm system, her upgraded car sound system, her upgraded navigation system, her new fiber optic cable service offering more than 300 channels and HD, etc. Then she asked me to go to the movies at some bizarre time of day because all seats are $5.00 and seniors get a free soft drink. And complained about the failure of people to bring a meat dish to a potluck reception to which she brought a very small box of cookies. She also bragged about driving 20 miles to a grocery that offered bagels meeting her very particular taste, but griped about driving 10 miles as a church volunteer. I have a lot of friends just barely getting by and I'm not feeling the love for someone who can fly first class to Europe.
|
|
sccdf
New Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 16:43:07 GMT -5
Posts: 46
|
Post by sccdf on Jan 10, 2011 18:42:02 GMT -5
I'm not envious of those who spend more than I do. I do have friends on both ends of the spectrum. It is not a problem for me. I'm not afraid of saying no if the plans get too expensive. I also try to remember that not everyone is as comfortable as we are. Saying 'why don't we both split a $5 pizza?' gives us a chance to get together with folks who have a limited budget.
|
|
|
Post by suzwantstobefree on Jan 10, 2011 20:04:23 GMT -5
I could be a big spender, but I would rather be a big saver and retire at 65. One of my co-workers just started renting a $2000 per month house (over 6000 sq feet for himself, his girl friend, and his infant son), a new car (with a $700 down payment that we had to payroll deduct because he didn't have the money for the down paymetn and he traded in his 2010 car on a 2011), and now he has taken out a loan on his 401K - after all, he has over 10K in it. I would be scared to death to live like this. But you know - he has to work a 60 to 65 hour work week and is never home. Who has the better life? ?
|
|
|
Post by honeybunny66 on Jan 10, 2011 20:21:25 GMT -5
Yes, but they can afford it and are not in debt. So I don't care.... It's THEIR money. They can spend it as they choose!
|
|
museumgal
Junior Member
Joined: Jan 11, 2011 1:24:36 GMT -5
Posts: 164
|
Post by museumgal on Jan 11, 2011 1:52:05 GMT -5
Yes, unfortunately. I have one friend who buys new clothes every time we go to the mall, also has a brand new iphone and a Mac computer. She's about $2000 in CC debt, which her parents bail her out of. Then again, her parents are people who bring in about 80 K a year, and still occasionally have the power shut off at least once a year due to not paying the bills.
|
|
Elderkind
Established Member
Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty....
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 11:33:49 GMT -5
Posts: 251
|
Post by Elderkind on Jan 11, 2011 15:00:33 GMT -5
I have several co-workers that are big spenders. Sad thing is they have nothing to show for it. One, who makes about $75K a year owes over $80K in CC bills, owes over $125K in student loans and buys a new vehicle as soon as he pays the previous one off. He always finances his cars for six years and pays about $500 a month on that. He rents a house for $1100 a month and quit paying on his CC's and SL's two years ago. The SL is from Sallie Mae and I heard that they have started garnishing. He is now divorced and living alone but spends a LOT of time at the bar so I guess his money has gone liquid, so to speak...
My other co-worker has champagne tastes on a beer budget. She also makes about $75K a year and lives in a rented condo. She is single and most of her money goes towards her clothes (they have to be designer labels), eating out and her hair dresser (has it done once a week). She is always broke and begs for extra classes to teach so she can pay her bills. She has a bad habit of spending her monies before it's earned thereby putting her in worse debt. She gives a million excuses why she can't make it on a $75K salary but never takes any responsibility for her financial mess...
|
|