Sum Dum Gai
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Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 18, 2011 12:59:47 GMT -5
Does your mom live in CA or AZ? If she still lives in AZ you can PM me and I will dig up the attorney we used in Phoenix. She's still in AZ, and I would really appreciate that. Thank you.
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Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jun 18, 2011 13:03:34 GMT -5
Someone earlier hit on this - if your mom dies, and then the next week you die, Loop can choose to give your mom's entire estate to the Roller Derby You'll want to have instructions in your will for what is to be done with any remaining funds of your mom's estate. I've been a slacker anyway. Loop and I really need to go get wills written as well. Right now if something happened to us I don't even know who would get custody of the kids, and I don't know if our assets would also go to that person, or if both sets of parents would split the cash, while only one got the kids.
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midjd
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Your Money Admin
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Post by midjd on Jun 18, 2011 13:11:22 GMT -5
Well your assets would be equally split between the kids, but the question of who holds the funds til they turn 18 would be a toughie...
Another thread had a response that seemed to make a lot of sense to me. Give one set of parents custody of the kids, and the other set of parents custody of the cash (with instructions on disbursing to the custodial parents). That way people aren't fighting over who gets the kids (because they want the cash), and both sides stay involved in the kids' lives.
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bring in the new year
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Happy Thanksgiving!
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Post by bring in the new year on Jun 18, 2011 13:20:52 GMT -5
midwesternjd,
To me it would depend on whether or not both sets of parents are equally responsible. If my parents had done it your way, my father's brother would have gotten the money and my mother's sister would have gotten us.
We would have never seen him again.
Thank god it didn't come up.
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midjd
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Your Money Admin
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Post by midjd on Jun 18, 2011 13:22:04 GMT -5
Yeah, it wouldn't work in my family either... but it might in some
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greenstone
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Post by greenstone on Jun 18, 2011 13:41:22 GMT -5
Someone earlier hit on this - if your mom dies, and then the next week you die, Loop can choose to give your mom's entire estate to the Roller Derby You'll want to have instructions in your will for what is to be done with any remaining funds of your mom's estate. This is why your mom should set up a trust and should appoint a secondary trustee (or whatever the term is) if you can't or won't act as trustee. If the money goes directly to you and then something happens to you, your family will immediately descend on your wife demanding mom's money. They will probably decide that every penny she possesses came from their mother and not you. They will make her life hell demanding a full accounting of every cent and still never believe that somehow they weren't cheated out of their inheritance. You don't want to leave your wife and kids labelled as thieves by your family. Keep mom's estate entirely separate from yours as well as excellent records of how the money was dispersed.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 5, 2024 11:37:42 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2011 13:41:26 GMT -5
Dark,
Sent you the PM.
I'll repeat part of my message for the good of the thread.
The biggest reason you and Loop need to go through this drill is to name a guardian for your minor children and to prepare your health directive and DNR-remember Terry Shivo (sp?) mess?
In my opinion both are far more important than $$$!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 18, 2011 22:05:49 GMT -5
The thing is that wills/trusts can be challenged regardless. Greedy relatives will do so and as long as there is money in the estate, their cases will be handled because the estate pays the bills. That is why the executor will settle, to avoid dissipating the estate. There's a part of me that thinks giving it to lawyers is better than greedy relatives but most people don't feel the same way. But I'm the type to face them down and say just that. That I'll piss it away on legal fees and they won't get a dime, either.
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Agatha
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Yes, I guess I'm a rather sedate dragon. Fire-breathing only at request or when absolutely necessary
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:21:21 GMT -5
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Post by Agatha on Jun 19, 2011 10:07:20 GMT -5
Dark, you and Loop need to hie yourselves to a lawyer and get your wills made. Nothing. . .absolutely nothing says "I love you" like it. Not diamond rings. . .50 foot yachts. . .or boxes of chocolates. Take it from an old widow woman who knows.
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cronewitch
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I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
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Post by cronewitch on Jun 19, 2011 14:39:49 GMT -5
When you think grandchildren who counts? Step grandkids, adopted, long term foster or just those born to her kids except the one in Germany because granddaughters don't count if your son doesn't support and help raise them. If one of her kids divorced and married someone with kid and raised them but didn't adopt them do they get nothing even if they called her grandma since they could talk?
I have an aunt who only counts blood grandkids so one son raised his wife kids since toddlers and live on the same farm but she doesn't count them. To her my mom is wrong to equally accept all the kids her kids parent as grandkids if they are adopted, step or born in. She even accepts my oldest brother's second child that he wasn't at the conception but his wife was. She seems to be stopping at his current wife's kid since nobody ever met her, he is divorcing the wife and the girl is an adult. His next wife has a son but is in another country too like his current wife but different country. I don't think mom will count him as a grandchild since we may never meet him before his next divorce. The next wife will figure out my brother isn't a good catch and is much too old for her.
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 19, 2011 14:55:32 GMT -5
You need an attorney AND a good CPA. Attorneys tend to have tunnel vision and don't think of the tax consequences when drawing up papers like this - I apologize to all attorneys on this board ahead of time, but I have seen this too many times with awful outcome.
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