TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 14, 2018 11:03:40 GMT -5
I'm so burnt out. And I feel like a spoiled brat saying that because I have a sober husband and a new job which is exactly what I wanted but I still want to hide in a cave somewhere. We're on our first week of DH being 100% sober and it's been awful. Mood swings feeling sick he's pretty much holed up in the bedroom. I've taken over everything and tried to make things as stress free as possible but that has not been easy on me. I told him I understand and supportive but he can't expect me to smile my way thru it too. I like my new job but it comes with unique challenges given it's not my area of expertise. I got switched off the bench to more specailized work which I don't know if that's a good or bad sign. I did feel a lot more confident since it utilizes skills I already have. I'm trying to have faith that if there was a serious problem they'd tell me not leave me hanging for another two months before showing me the door. At any rate two jobs in such a short period is a major adjustment for someone who hates change. It's worse this round because of the physical recovery and the fucking up of my sleep schedule. Then I'm working hard to give everyone a merry Christmas figuring odds are good my stocking will be empty. Normally this does not bother me but I feel owed this year. And not some crap HE thinks I should want like a stupid manicure set but instead actually listen and get me what I want. My birthday is next Thursday. I turn 35. I was excited about it till recently with everything going on. I also if I think too hard about my 30s almost being over I have a mini mid life crisis. Stupid I know but I've had a lot of reasons to question my life choices lately. Then there is my BFF who I'm naturally worried about. DH needs a new headgasket but our EF is in the toilet thanks to his drug spending. My dad is going to help since he misdiagnosed the issue but I still need to.come up with our share. So much for no more CC debt unless the bill comes out to the $700 I got in savings. Then my other friend may be moving to Chicago. I'm thrilled she has a chance at a tenured position but I'm also super bummed at the thought of her moving and a tad jealous. Not that I will be anything less than happy when talking to her. I don't feel good I'm not sure if it's weather or a persistent bug. The one time I need it I have no sick time. Which is kinda stupid because it encourages new employees to infect the entire office. I can get not wanting people taking vacation on probation but throwinh a couple sick days in would be handy. I want to be happy but I can't drum up the energy for more than a spurt here or there. I'm grateful but not happy if that makes sense. What? What? What the hell did I miss... I go a couple months not passing by and like WTH!!! Did the whole thread blow up or something?
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Dec 14, 2018 11:12:43 GMT -5
Not unreasonable Nuttin. I don't know if it's enforceable though. You're going to have to think of what to do if come March he doesn't cooperate. I know. I've been thinking about that. I just want to cry sometimes I get so frustrated.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 14, 2018 11:25:48 GMT -5
I'm so burnt out. And I feel like a spoiled brat saying that because I have a sober husband and a new job which is exactly what I wanted but I still want to hide in a cave somewhere. We're on our first week of DH being 100% sober and it's been awful. Mood swings feeling sick he's pretty much holed up in the bedroom. I've taken over everything and tried to make things as stress free as possible but that has not been easy on me. I told him I understand and supportive but he can't expect me to smile my way thru it too. I like my new job but it comes with unique challenges given it's not my area of expertise. I got switched off the bench to more specailized work which I don't know if that's a good or bad sign. I did feel a lot more confident since it utilizes skills I already have. I'm trying to have faith that if there was a serious problem they'd tell me not leave me hanging for another two months before showing me the door. At any rate two jobs in such a short period is a major adjustment for someone who hates change. It's worse this round because of the physical recovery and the fucking up of my sleep schedule. Then I'm working hard to give everyone a merry Christmas figuring odds are good my stocking will be empty. Normally this does not bother me but I feel owed this year. And not some crap HE thinks I should want like a stupid manicure set but instead actually listen and get me what I want. My birthday is next Thursday. I turn 35. I was excited about it till recently with everything going on. I also if I think too hard about my 30s almost being over I have a mini mid life crisis. Stupid I know but I've had a lot of reasons to question my life choices lately. Then there is my BFF who I'm naturally worried about. DH needs a new headgasket but our EF is in the toilet thanks to his drug spending. My dad is going to help since he misdiagnosed the issue but I still need to.come up with our share. So much for no more CC debt unless the bill comes out to the $700 I got in savings. Then my other friend may be moving to Chicago. I'm thrilled she has a chance at a tenured position but I'm also super bummed at the thought of her moving and a tad jealous. Not that I will be anything less than happy when talking to her. I don't feel good I'm not sure if it's weather or a persistent bug. The one time I need it I have no sick time. Which is kinda stupid because it encourages new employees to infect the entire office. I can get not wanting people taking vacation on probation but throwinh a couple sick days in would be handy. I want to be happy but I can't drum up the energy for more than a spurt here or there. I'm grateful but not happy if that makes sense. What? What? What the hell did I miss... I go a couple months not passing by and like WTH!!! Did the whole thread blow up or something? Maybe you should come visit us more often. 🙂
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 14, 2018 11:28:30 GMT -5
It's impossible to find clothes that fit my 8 year old. He's so tall and skinny. I ordered him some 10-12 elastic waisted cargo pants from Land's End for Christmas and just laughed when they arrived. They'll be stored away until next year. I don't know what he's going to wear. His Dad gives me crap about him running around with highwater exercise and sweat pants, but those are the only things that fit him in the waist and they are all size 8. My niece is the same way. My sister has good luck with Forever 21. You'd have to take bim with you to try on though as their return policy sucks.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 14, 2018 11:53:38 GMT -5
We're slow at work so I was assigned "shadowing" another department and finangled it to work with a friend who trained me in the business over 15 years ago. She's known me since before dh was an h, and has been a sounding board for all of my frustrations. Yesterday was a particularly bad morning at home, although I hadn't brought that up with her but she repeatedly asked if I'd be better off divorcing him. Said my issues with him have always been the same and she worried I'd never be happy. I would be better off emotionally in many ways. The kids would adjust because they'd have to. Financially I'd probably be destroyed, but better now than later I guess. I don't think dh is capable of being single. I imagine he'd have a gf or bf moved in before the moving boxes were unpacked. Hell before the moving boxes arrived. That's really what scares me. At least now I have control and I can mitigate his yelling and overreacting to some degree. We should probably try counseling again, but I'm over extended as it is. He needs to put in the work and I can tell he isn't willing to. Think of it this way, you and the kids will have large chunks of time with no yelling whatsoever if you're not married anymore. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/wink.png) Jokes aside, you have some input when you are home and available to participate (ie, not working) in the shenanigans. Do you have any idea what he's really like with them when you're not looking? Maybe he's calmer, maybe he's not. If he's not, him not being there 24/7 will improve things that much. It's all matter of where you run out of give a damn and how much you can take. Good luck on deciding when & where that line is.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Dec 14, 2018 12:58:12 GMT -5
I don't mind spending on myself and I have. I'd just really like an actual thoughtful gift for once. I put a lot of time into.what I get people. DH is like my grandma he buys you what HE thinks you should like or wants to buy you. It's like in 14 years still he doesn't know me. Normally I roll with it Ive given up. This year though I'm really bummed. I've given so much I really don't want another imaginary DQ gift. I sent my DH a gift suggestion, specific item, size, link to web site and cc'd my DD so if he didn't want to order it he could just tell DD to do it for him. He replied that if I wanted it I should just buy it.
He will get me a gift, and he usually does pretty well on what he buys, but he will last minute shop at Kohl's or last year DD bought his gifts.
Our budget is flexible, we have debt we want to pay off, but I can still afford to buy myself stuff here and there, so we are in a different position than you. All I can say is I have a brother in law that relapsed several times, but has been sober for about 10 years. He was a bad alcoholic for a good 20 years. My SIL put up with a lot. I think she still has resentment even though he has been sober for so many years. It isn't just what you go through physically and emotionally, it is also that their dependency causes you financial problems.
I came to this Thread to send my Condolences to Beth - she said on Sam's thread that her Grandma's funeral is today and she is taking her kids. I wanted to mention that when my DH's Grandpa died, they promised my BIL's kids that if they behaved they would get Pizza after. They did behave very well. My kids were babysat by my in-laws and DD says they went to lots of funerals with Grandma and Grandpa. I did not know until around this funeral that they went to a lot of funerals, and so funeral decorum comes natural to my kids.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 14, 2018 19:53:46 GMT -5
What? What? What the hell did I miss... I go a couple months not passing by and like WTH!!! Did the whole thread blow up or something? Maybe you should come visit us more often. 🙂 Maybe
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 14, 2018 20:06:54 GMT -5
I'm so burnt out. And I feel like a spoiled brat saying that because I have a sober husband and a new job which is exactly what I wanted but I still want to hide in a cave somewhere. We're on our first week of DH being 100% sober and it's been awful. Mood swings feeling sick he's pretty much holed up in the bedroom. I've taken over everything and tried to make things as stress free as possible but that has not been easy on me. I told him I understand and supportive but he can't expect me to smile my way thru it too. I like my new job but it comes with unique challenges given it's not my area of expertise. I got switched off the bench to more specailized work which I don't know if that's a good or bad sign. I did feel a lot more confident since it utilizes skills I already have. I'm trying to have faith that if there was a serious problem they'd tell me not leave me hanging for another two months before showing me the door. At any rate two jobs in such a short period is a major adjustment for someone who hates change. It's worse this round because of the physical recovery and the fucking up of my sleep schedule. Then I'm working hard to give everyone a merry Christmas figuring odds are good my stocking will be empty. Normally this does not bother me but I feel owed this year. And not some crap HE thinks I should want like a stupid manicure set but instead actually listen and get me what I want. My birthday is next Thursday. I turn 35. I was excited about it till recently with everything going on. I also if I think too hard about my 30s almost being over I have a mini mid life crisis. Stupid I know but I've had a lot of reasons to question my life choices lately. Then there is my BFF who I'm naturally worried about. DH needs a new headgasket but our EF is in the toilet thanks to his drug spending. My dad is going to help since he misdiagnosed the issue but I still need to.come up with our share. So much for no more CC debt unless the bill comes out to the $700 I got in savings. Then my other friend may be moving to Chicago. I'm thrilled she has a chance at a tenured position but I'm also super bummed at the thought of her moving and a tad jealous. Not that I will be anything less than happy when talking to her. I don't feel good I'm not sure if it's weather or a persistent bug. The one time I need it I have no sick time. Which is kinda stupid because it encourages new employees to infect the entire office. I can get not wanting people taking vacation on probation but throwinh a couple sick days in would be handy. I want to be happy but I can't drum up the energy for more than a spurt here or there. I'm grateful but not happy if that makes sense. What? What? What the hell did I miss... I go a couple months not passing by and like WTH!!! Did the whole thread blow up or something? Cliffnotes version is DH got off opioids by taking the suggestion of several people to try kratom. Unfortunately the reason kratom works so well is it stimulates the same receptors so now he's been hooked on that. Most of my new take home at the hospital was going to kratom. I don't like to add up how much was spent because I get angry again. What is done is done. We had a massive blow out fight with threats of divorce and several days of not speaking. He's been working to get sober but it's a long process with lots of physical side effects. He gave me his check card when he came to the conclusion he can't be trusted and the easiest way to prevent himself from failing was to remove access to our money for the foreseeable future.
Going solo money wise again sucks but at the same time our budget is rapidly improving. We're still in the hole but at least I am no longer raiding what little savings we have left or having to charge regular bills because we're short. Again not adding up the money because I'll get sick.
Being the support network for a recovering addict is exhausting emotionally, mentally and physically. I get now why people enable keeping the peace is so much easier.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 14, 2018 21:23:56 GMT -5
Since a lot of us are feeling down and I'm sure the news doesn't help I will share the blog I just found, you can click on the source material to read more, it's provided at the end of each snippet. The one that fascinated me teh most was #100
There is now a giant 600 metre long boom in the Pacific that uses oceanic forces to clean up plastic, and you can track its progress here. Despite a few early setbacks, the team behind it thinks they can clean up half the Great Pacific Garbage Patch in the next seven years
That must be quite a sight to see. I hope they are able to meet their goal.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 15, 2018 10:26:20 GMT -5
Sorry picture will not post.
Tested... got it!
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 15, 2018 10:45:58 GMT -5
What is it with grandma’s and their grand babies? I think they are way more overprotective compared to when they were parents!!! I sent a picture to my mom, not even giving it a second thought and I get a call back ; her asking (yelling really) what did we do to her babies hair? I go back to take a second look and it is the sun that is hitting her forehead and hair line making it look like it was colored or bleached!.... chilax grandma! ![](http://i.imgur.com/QMjAIpZ.jpg) Talking about hair: have you been successful getting a toddler to stay still long enough to do her hair? In Carlie case she needs to be eating a snack, playing with my phone or iPad, coloring... something to keep her mind of it or we end up having to take like 20-30 breaks (short attention span) and she goes through the day with half her hair done ; then we wait till she falls asleep j ![](http://i.imgur.com/5seINLW.jpg)
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 15, 2018 11:05:57 GMT -5
Carlie is too gorgeous!!!!
I knew that having a mixed kid could mean easy, wash and go hair or difficult to manage hair. DS’s hair has gone back and forth over the years - fine and straight, fine and curly, thick and wavy.... Now his hair is thick with loose curls, but it’s also dry and coarse. We keep it relatively short, but it still needs care. I use a leave-in conditioner for natural hair and a little hair oil on him after his bath or before school (spray with water if doing his hair before school). Then I brush it. He’s pretty cooperative. I’m guessing he’s gonna need nearly as many products as I need when he gets older - unless he shaves it, lol.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 15, 2018 11:16:26 GMT -5
Carlie is too gorgeous!!!! I knew that having a mixed kid could mean easy, wash and go hair or difficult to manage hair. DS’s hair has gone back and forth over the years - fine and straight, fine and curly, thick and wavy.... Now his hair is thick with loose curls, but it’s also dry and coarse. We keep it relatively short, but it still needs care. I use a leave-in conditioner for natural hair and a little hair oil on him after his bath or before school (spray with water if doing his hair before school). Then I brush it. He’s pretty cooperative. I’m guessing he’s gonna need nearly as many products as I need when he gets older - unless he shaves it, lol. Thank you! And for Carlie we basically went by word of mouth and kinda read up on different product (natural product) till we find one that we were ok with... Good thing about being in DC : large black /mixed population so that has helped my wife find product for both her hair and Carlie’s hair with relative ease compared to the different locations we have lived before.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 15, 2018 11:36:44 GMT -5
I use Curly Kids shampoo on him - similar to the Mixed Chicks kids line but cheaper. I switch between Kinky Curly Knot Today and the As I Am leave-ins for him and then finish with either coconut or avocado oil. His hair soaks everything right up which means he could probably use more product, but I don’t want to be too heavy handed. OTOH, X does zilch for DS’s hair so I should probably do as much as I can to offset that.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 15, 2018 12:44:24 GMT -5
She is so cute! And she's getting so big!
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Dec 15, 2018 17:27:21 GMT -5
Carlie is the cutest!!!!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Dec 15, 2018 18:10:55 GMT -5
She's so cute!!! Just gorgeous!
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Dec 15, 2018 18:33:23 GMT -5
TheHaitian What a beautiful little girl you have! Count your blessings. Happy holidays!
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Dec 15, 2018 21:54:24 GMT -5
Carl - she is beautiful
Drama - Hugs.
Nuttin - Hugs, not unreasonable at all.
Beth - Hugs on the loss of your Grandma. I hope today went smoothly for you.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Dec 16, 2018 16:08:22 GMT -5
I thought it was in this thread I heard about Lasse L. Matberg. Check out his latest post on FB with this Santa outfit: m.facebook.com/lasselom/Extremely drool worthy!!!!! 😱😉🤪🤩
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Dec 16, 2018 16:22:59 GMT -5
Sometimes you get lucky in life, so this is a little boast (about getting lucky 😛 ). As you know my grand babies are in Germany. Now over there an advent calender is a big deal, so I decided to order one for DGS1 (little guy will get one too next year) but I decided -> no candy. Well I scored big time: it turns out that the no candy versions are the big hit in his preK class. And every morning there are ling discussions about what tiny little thingy they got that day. DDIL told me that all the moms had look at all the toys before being allowed to leave. I GOT IT RIGHT (accidentally) and the kid is very happy. Useless additional info:I got him the Santa and the forest animals from playmobil. I also gave my friends 4yo twins one each, and they loved it as well, but for them it was a "let's open it all now" situation
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 16, 2018 18:54:39 GMT -5
I'm surviving right now.
I have no idea where the time went this month. This is a helluva time to be trying to drink less and not buy chocolates for me.
The kids were good at the funeral. Dh and I got a bunch of the Christmas shopping knocked out yesterday.
The kids have 4 more days of school.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Dec 16, 2018 19:39:33 GMT -5
Hugs, Beth. This time of year is stressful enough, and then a loss like that is a huge piling on. I hope you get some down time.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Dec 16, 2018 21:06:46 GMT -5
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Dec 16, 2018 22:20:51 GMT -5
Hugs beth! I miss doing advent calendars with the kids. No grands yet..... Love Carlie and her hair! And those cheeks! Two of my 4 are biracial. But tighter hair than her. I just did twists until they were old enough to watch a movie aand then did cornrows and box braids.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Dec 16, 2018 22:30:48 GMT -5
Since a lot of us are feeling down and I'm sure the news doesn't help I will share the blog I just found, you can click on the source material to read more, it's provided at the end of each snippet. The one that fascinated me teh most was #100
There is now a giant 600 metre long boom in the Pacific that uses oceanic forces to clean up plastic, and you can track its progress here. Despite a few early setbacks, the team behind it thinks they can clean up half the Great Pacific Garbage Patch in the next seven years
That must be quite a sight to see. I hope they are able to meet their goal.
NomoreDramaQ1015, Check out this Sunday's 60 minutes episode - they explain about the Boom and it's installation
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Dec 17, 2018 10:36:23 GMT -5
Carl - Carlie is such a cutie! What a fun age!
Yesterday was a rough day. The older kids left in the morning to go to church with their mom. C lost it. He was so sad, big crocodile tears and everything. He just loves them so much and really struggles when they leave. It hit me that I want him to have a sibling (closer in age). We'd already pretty much decided against it, but I just felt so badly with him crying by the door. It's mainly just going to be him and his old mom and dad for his whole life, and it breaks my heart. DH doesn't want to try again. He would be 42 when a baby was born if I got pregnant today, and he feels like he's too old. He also has 5 kids. I can't really blame him. He told me yesterday he didn't know if he could handle watching me do IVF and having it nor work again. So there's that.
I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. Tell me C will be okay basically being an only child?
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Dec 17, 2018 10:39:36 GMT -5
Also, in good news, DH has been only working part time since June and is home with C the rest of the time. This is the first Christmas season this has been the case (he had started his new job right around Thanksgiving last year after being home with C for 6 months). It has been fantastic. He has done all of the Christmas shopping, has wrapped everything, and even made Christmas cookies the other day. He's trying to lear to cook and have dinner ready when I get home. He's at the beginner stages and is where I was at when I first went to college, so we've seen some rice a roni and instant potatoes, lol. But he's really putting forth an effort to take stress off me. It has been amazing.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Dec 17, 2018 10:42:51 GMT -5
Carl - Carlie is such a cutie! What a fun age! Yesterday was a rough day. The older kids left in the morning to go to church with their mom. C lost it. He was so sad, big crocodile tears and everything. He just loves them so much and really struggles when they leave. It hit me that I want him to have a sibling (closer in age). We'd already pretty much decided against it, but I just felt so badly with him crying by the door. It's mainly just going to be him and his old mom and dad for his whole life, and it breaks my heart. DH doesn't want to try again. He would be 42 when a baby was born if I got pregnant today, and he feels like he's too old. He also has 5 kids. I can't really blame him. He told me yesterday he didn't know if he could handle watching me do IVF and having it nor work again. So there's that. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless. Tell me C will be okay basically being an only child? He will be fine! He will likely have the best of both worlds - a big family but also the focus of an only child! Kids cry a lot, I promise you won't scar him for life!!!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 17, 2018 10:43:32 GMT -5
Carlie is so cute!! Look at those eyelashes! I'm so jealous
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