weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 9, 2023 17:18:29 GMT -5
I think every area and region are different. Welts and I living in expensive areas have a very different experience than those of you living in cheaper areas especially if you have stable jobs. I did own a home with my XH, however at the time of the divorce the real estate market was in a downturn. Did not make money on it nor did I get back some of what I sunk into the purchase. Even though he was a couple years older than me, I sunk more money into our home because he was finishing up his PhD while I was working a year or so after I completed my Master's. And my second home bought by myself did not go the way I hoped. Bought just before the US wide downturn in home prices because of the credit crisis. Lost 10's of thousands on that. Buying a home does not guarantee a good return. Not all of us are in or stay in the position to do buy and hold. I've been avoiding you in a few places since you went off the rails the other day. and I realize that's not the best way to start a post, b/c you're going to going to get defensive and tune me out on what I'm about to say and tell me all about how I don't understand what you're dealing with rn. but, I'll bite on this one. I'm okay with not responding again if you go that route. just don't come at me or PM me for it, b/c I'm not here for that, and I won't answer it. I live in a VHCOLA as well. and I made a lot of stupid life choices that put me in a spot where people on this board (MPL was one) were aghast that I didn't just file for bankruptcy and start fresh. MY reality is that I *do* pull in a sizable income for my job, and I just needed to pull my head out of my ass about it. the housing market was favorable so I knew that I'd be able to reset my shit once I sold and was able to use those proceeds to make a sizable dent in the debt so that my payments were paying down more than just the interest. I did so, and I'm close to winning my WIRR race now.   I've looked at moving elsewhere a few times in my adult life, by my own choice, and I decided to stay here for a number of reasons. but, I've looked into it enough to understand COL around the country, and if I was as strapped as you are, I'd consider hunkering down and finding a job suited to my skills somewhere way lower on the COL scale than NJ. what I'm about to say, this is where I expect defensiveness. but I'm gonna say it anyway. you've posted about how you have no support system in NJ, and you're "underfunded*" in the jobs you've held. WHY are you still bent on living in NJ? you haven't had anything positive to say about NJ in awhile, although I'll admit I scroll past most of your posts these days. I won't ask what is keeping you in NJ, b/c your exchange with Ava in another thread is what set me off the other day. *I hate this NON-word. if you don't have enough income to fund your life, you can't afford where you live. /stepsoffsoapbox Yes, I live in a VHCOLA, BUT I have 3 pensions coming in and I don't have to worry about health insurance. Now that I've sold my car I have more disposable income. Cars can use up a huge chunk of your take home pay, as Opti knows. If I was struggling, you bet your ass I'd move, get on a list for affordable housing, and hope to find someplace near a bus line. Maybe get a room mate. I wouldn't stay put. It makes no sense. |
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on May 9, 2023 17:33:00 GMT -5
What's wrong with being a renter? Does everyone have to own their own home? I did own a home, and the property taxes, roof repairs, hot water heater crapping out, well/septic tank needing to be relocated, etc, cost me way more than renting. Quebec has always been a renters’ province, Statistics Canada observed in a September 2022 study on the housing market. More than half of residential construction built in Montreal between 2016 and 2021 was rental, the highest share among Canada’s three largest cities financialpost.com/real-estate/montreal-rent-cheaper-than-toronto#:~:text=Quebec%20has%20always%20been%20a,among%20Canada's%20three%20largest%20cities. Nope. But, if renting is so much cheaper she should be rolling in it by now no? Instead she's always broke and has nothing of any value to show for it and nothing in retirement accounts. Plus, she's paying twice as much for rent as I pay for a house payment for a tiny crap house and that rent will only go up as the years go by. I guarantee her landlord is making money hand over fist on that rental. My cousin has been there for 14 or 15 years now so probably paid over 150K in rent on what was probably a 50K house when the landlord bought it. If her parents wouldn't be leaving her a house she'd be paying rent all through retirement instead of having a paid off house to live in. As I am repeatedly telling various friends and boarders, owning a home is much more than the monthly mortgage payment. That is actually the least of it for me. There is home maintenance (I don't want to talk about what I just spent on foundation work and I've got a new roof coming in about 5 years), utilities, insurance...the list goes on. Rents have gone crazy around here in the last couple of years but it is still only about half of my monthly expenses for house when you amortise the maintenance items as well. And where I live houses don't increase in value by 50% a year. I am extremely luck if it keeps up with inflation. That said, I like owning my own home and it is a forced savings as I increase the equity. But I would get a better return if I had put that money into investments. And that's the trick. You only benefit from renting if you take the savings and save or invest them. ETA - I also took the less common route of always having boarders. I like living with people and that money covers at least half of my all in housing cost per month, 3/4 if I have 3 boarders. |
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 9, 2023 17:35:37 GMT -5
FWIW, I made a list for affordable housing. I was something like #90. I've tried to contact them but have had no luck yet. I also plan to put in an application for an age restricted place that is near the one I am on the list for. I had hopes I would be moving there before I had to renew the lease here, but that did not happen. Maybe they are behind on the build and haven't gotten to my level of the list yet.  |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 9, 2023 18:32:25 GMT -5
Nope. But, if renting is so much cheaper she should be rolling in it by now no? Instead she's always broke and has nothing of any value to show for it and nothing in retirement accounts. Plus, she's paying twice as much for rent as I pay for a house payment for a tiny crap house and that rent will only go up as the years go by. I guarantee her landlord is making money hand over fist on that rental. My cousin has been there for 14 or 15 years now so probably paid over 150K in rent on what was probably a 50K house when the landlord bought it. If her parents wouldn't be leaving her a house she'd be paying rent all through retirement instead of having a paid off house to live in. I think every area and region are different. Welts and I living in expensive areas have a very different experience than those of you living in cheaper areas especially if you have stable jobs. I did own a home with my XH, however at the time of the divorce the real estate market was in a downturn. Did not make money on it nor did I get back some of what I sunk into the purchase. Even though he was a couple years older than me, I sunk more money into our home because he was finishing up his PhD while I was working a year or so after I completed my Master's. And my second home bought by myself did not go the way I hoped. Bought just before the US wide downturn in home prices because of the credit crisis. Lost 10's of thousands on that. Buying a home does not guarantee a good return. Not all of us are in or stay in the position to do buy and hold. My point with the always being a renter comment is she can't claim house poor as the reason she has no savings whatsoever. She's not piling it into retirement or saving up for a down-payment I have never factored house appreciation into anything. I have kept the house value in my NW calculations the same since I bought. That's kind of an irrelevant number to me unless I'm planning on selling soon. |
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 9, 2023 19:44:57 GMT -5
I've been avoiding you in a few places since you went off the rails the other day. and I realize that's not the best way to start a post, b/c you're going to going to get defensive and tune me out on what I'm about to say and tell me all about how I don't understand what you're dealing with rn. but, I'll bite on this one. I'm okay with not responding again if you go that route. just don't come at me or PM me for it, b/c I'm not here for that, and I won't answer it. I live in a VHCOLA as well. and I made a lot of stupid life choices that put me in a spot where people on this board (MPL was one) were aghast that I didn't just file for bankruptcy and start fresh. MY reality is that I *do* pull in a sizable income for my job, and I just needed to pull my head out of my ass about it. the housing market was favorable so I knew that I'd be able to reset my shit once I sold and was able to use those proceeds to make a sizable dent in the debt so that my payments were paying down more than just the interest. I did so, and I'm close to winning my WIRR race now. I've looked at moving elsewhere a few times in my adult life, by my own choice, and I decided to stay here for a number of reasons. but, I've looked into it enough to understand COL around the country, and if I was as strapped as you are, I'd consider hunkering down and finding a job suited to my skills somewhere way lower on the COL scale than NJ. what I'm about to say, this is where I expect defensiveness. but I'm gonna say it anyway. you've posted about how you have no support system in NJ, and you're "underfunded*" in the jobs you've held. WHY are you still bent on living in NJ? you haven't had anything positive to say about NJ in awhile, although I'll admit I scroll past most of your posts these days. I won't ask what is keeping you in NJ, b/c your exchange with Ava in another thread is what set me off the other day. *I hate this NON-word. if you don't have enough income to fund your life, you can't afford where you live. /stepsoffsoapbox Yes, I live in a VHCOLA, BUT I have 3 pensions coming in and I don't have to worry about health insurance. Now that I've sold my car I have more disposable income. Cars can use up a huge chunk of your take home pay, as Opti knows. If I was struggling, you bet your ass I'd move, get on a list for affordable housing, and hope to find someplace near a bus line. Maybe get a room mate. I wouldn't stay put. It makes no sense. my comments weren't at all directed at you, ma'am.  |
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 9, 2023 21:56:06 GMT -5
Yes, I live in a VHCOLA, BUT I have 3 pensions coming in and I don't have to worry about health insurance. Now that I've sold my car I have more disposable income. Cars can use up a huge chunk of your take home pay, as Opti knows. If I was struggling, you bet your ass I'd move, get on a list for affordable housing, and hope to find someplace near a bus line. Maybe get a room mate. I wouldn't stay put. It makes no sense. my comments weren't at all directed at you, ma'am. I know. We're good. |
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 9, 2023 23:03:44 GMT -5
I think every area and region are different. Welts and I living in expensive areas have a very different experience than those of you living in cheaper areas especially if you have stable jobs. I did own a home with my XH, however at the time of the divorce the real estate market was in a downturn. Did not make money on it nor did I get back some of what I sunk into the purchase. Even though he was a couple years older than me, I sunk more money into our home because he was finishing up his PhD while I was working a year or so after I completed my Master's. And my second home bought by myself did not go the way I hoped. Bought just before the US wide downturn in home prices because of the credit crisis. Lost 10's of thousands on that. Buying a home does not guarantee a good return. Not all of us are in or stay in the position to do buy and hold. My point with the always being a renter comment is she can't claim house poor as the reason she has no savings whatsoever. She's not piling it into retirement or saving up for a down-payment I have never factored house appreciation into anything. I have kept the house value in my NW calculations the same since I bought. That's kind of an irrelevant number to me unless I'm planning on selling soon. Smart on your calculations. And I get it. So much has happened here housing wise to me and others I can't do the party line. There is one person I know who does always buy at the right time in NJ, but he's not a US native, and I think he came from a wealthier background than I did. Some of finance is training, and some of it is pure luck. I know way too many people who had to sell at the wrong time and lost significant money. One was a set of friends from college who lived in NY state and worked for IBM. Because of their job situation they decided to move to Indiana (one is from there the other is not) and I think they've been there ever since. Unfortunately when I came out of college, the emphasis on saving for retirement is much less than what many of you grew up with. At the time, many employers were still in the life time employment thing, so pensions still were the main retirement vehicle for my and my cohorts first jobs. |
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 10, 2023 0:02:17 GMT -5
I think every area and region are different. Welts and I living in expensive areas have a very different experience than those of you living in cheaper areas especially if you have stable jobs. I did own a home with my XH, however at the time of the divorce the real estate market was in a downturn. Did not make money on it nor did I get back some of what I sunk into the purchase. Even though he was a couple years older than me, I sunk more money into our home because he was finishing up his PhD while I was working a year or so after I completed my Master's. And my second home bought by myself did not go the way I hoped. Bought just before the US wide downturn in home prices because of the credit crisis. Lost 10's of thousands on that. Buying a home does not guarantee a good return. Not all of us are in or stay in the position to do buy and hold. I've been avoiding you in a few places since you went off the rails the other day. and I realize that's not the best way to start a post, b/c you're going to going to get defensive and tune me out on what I'm about to say and tell me all about how I don't understand what you're dealing with rn. but, I'll bite on this one. I'm okay with not responding again if you go that route. just don't come at me or PM me for it, b/c I'm not here for that, and I won't answer it. I live in a VHCOLA as well. and I made a lot of stupid life choices that put me in a spot where people on this board (MPL was one) were aghast that I didn't just file for bankruptcy and start fresh. MY reality is that I *do* pull in a sizable income for my job, and I just needed to pull my head out of my ass about it. the housing market was favorable so I knew that I'd be able to reset my shit once I sold and was able to use those proceeds to make a sizable dent in the debt so that my payments were paying down more than just the interest. I did so, and I'm close to winning my WIRR race now. I've looked at moving elsewhere a few times in my adult life, by my own choice, and I decided to stay here for a number of reasons. but, I've looked into it enough to understand COL around the country, and if I was as strapped as you are, I'd consider hunkering down and finding a job suited to my skills somewhere way lower on the COL scale than NJ. what I'm about to say, this is where I expect defensiveness. but I'm gonna say it anyway. you've posted about how you have no support system in NJ, and you're "underfunded*" in the jobs you've held. WHY are you still bent on living in NJ? you haven't had anything positive to say about NJ in awhile, although I'll admit I scroll past most of your posts these days. I won't ask what is keeping you in NJ, b/c your exchange with Ava in another thread is what set me off the other day. *I hate this NON-word. if you don't have enough income to fund your life, you can't afford where you live. /stepsoffsoapbox I do say positive things about NJ, you just do not read the threads where I post that. And I am trying to avoid you as well as you seem to need to publicize how you feel about me at this time. If you have a great life why do you care why I am in NJ or not? Its not your life to live. Its probably good you scroll by my posts , I get it. Ava set me off because it appeared to be pure whining about how she had to go to Urugay for this graduation and she did not want to go. Or so that's how it seemed in the post. Yes I over-reacted and I have fixed every post that was not quoted , two out of three and reached out to the poster who I offended and PMed her because I did not want to muddy the board with a two poster thing. You seem to get Ava's desire to move back to her country. I do not like the YM portion of the board much of the time because there is too much focus on the pure money aspects and not enough on what we are hoping to accomplish with the money and in life. For the first half of my life in NJ, I was adequately to well funded. This second half has been rough and none of the jobs are really inline with my talents or deep interests. So the idea of moving somewhere cheaper just to have yet another unstable crap job and have to build up a life from scratch yet again is not appealing. It is IMO the most counterproductive thing I find in YM and sadly now in Just like Ava gets frustrated with not advancing to her goal, so do I. The job I chose became something different just a few months in. I'm not happy about it, but I am riding it out, as it seems the sensible thing to do. I've had a set of some very challenging years(last six). It makes me grouchy at times. You don't want to hear my plans and I would rather keep them private and only share them with RL peeps that understand what I am trying to do and why. I need to stay focused so I hope you can stop your bash Opti posts and move on. I have a job I am trying to keep which has good insurance and my AAA tow incident that I have to shepherd through on about 10 to 30% of my usual capabilities when I am healthy and sleeping enough. I did not want this thread to have anything to do with my personal situation. So please all posters do not quote. I may delete sometime in the morning. I am only here posting now because the process of getting my dried sinuses to drain again is an ugly painful one and I will hydrate and return to bed shortly. I do appreciate all the good posts on the thread that relate to the OP. |
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 10, 2023 0:19:35 GMT -5
I do want to point out one under moderate income thing poor people do need to be concerned about. When you move to another state, it takes time for residency limits to be reached for social programs. In general if you move to a cheaper area it will have fewer safety nets than a more expensive one. Not always true, and in the state of NJ it varies considerably based on your age, number of family members, where you are living and availability of housing and services. Covid and other crisis's like car parts continue to raise costs. Got a letter the other day how my insurance company was granted an almost 7% rate increase for this year, effective sometime in April and how they are asking for a much larger increase, something over 30% now. The impact could be as high as a 58% increase in car insurance rates to some people.  As quickly as I trim costs and adjust, it seems there are always other plans in the works. I will enjoy when the housing market starts tanking and normalizing here. |
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on May 10, 2023 8:54:28 GMT -5
I do want to point out one under moderate income thing poor people do need to be concerned about. When you move to another state, it takes time for residency limits to be reached for social programs. In general if you move to a cheaper area it will have fewer safety nets than a more expensive one. Not always true, and in the state of NJ it varies considerably based on your age, number of family members, where you are living and availability of housing and services. Covid and other crisis's like car parts continue to raise costs. Got a letter the other day how my insurance company was granted an almost 7% rate increase for this year, effective sometime in April and how they are asking for a much larger increase, something over 30% now. The impact could be as high as a 58% increase in car insurance rates to some people. As quickly as I trim costs and adjust, it seems there are always other plans in the works. I will enjoy when the housing market starts tanking and normalizing here. Some social programs are federal (which you've pointed out somewhere in this board, about how poverty guidelines don't take COLA into account). There are plenty of blue states with decent social programs. And if you move to a LCOLA area, you might not need social programs to the extent you may need them now. Relying on social programs is risky because the political winds are blowing towards cuts or freezes. Also, I would not count on the housing market tanking and normalizing anytime soon. If that's what you are holding out for, good luck with that. It's anyone's guess if, when, or where that will happen. |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on May 10, 2023 9:18:56 GMT -5
I do not like the YM portion of the board much of the time because there is too much focus on the pure money aspects and not enough on what we are hoping to accomplish with the money and in life. It's really hard to accomplish much of anything financial without first having money to pay the bills.
I think everyone is frustrated because you seem to have been barely scraping by for so long and whenever anyone tries to offer suggestions you say it's none of our business or we can't possibly understand. You're right. It is hard to understand why you stay where you do. The stress has to be unbelievable and it comes through in your posts all the time.
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