Neighbor "Hit and run" - WWYD?

[schildi]

This is so awkward ....

We are living in a very small community of around 20 houses, and our loop (with only 6 houses) is kinda separated from the rest. All properties in the $700k+ range, with 1 - 3 acre lots. So we are (at least in our loop) a very close group of neighbors with watching each others animals, yards, houses, and helping each other a lot in general.

So that makes it even weirder.

To make it short: yesterday morning neighbor across (older couple that has just moved in this summer) backed his truck out of his driveway, made a weird swerve and ran into my newly built split rail fence. He knocked one post over.

I would not have known anything, but another neighbor watched the whole thing from his back porch, from a little bit of a distance, and kind of around the corner. So he reports seeing the new neighbor back out, run into the fence post (knocking it over) with a loud bang. He stops his truck, gets out and looks at it. Gets back in the truck and pulls forward. Gets out again and straightens the post. Stands there for another 30 secs to a minute looking at it, then drives off.

My original reaction was that he will send a message or call. Did not happen. So I thought maybe he wants to talk in person, but so far, that did not happen either. His truck was in the driveway all day, and he did not come over.

Now is that weird, or am I off here? I would have contacted any neighbor right away, offering to fix the damage or discuss how we can address it. The post is broken off maybe 8-10" below the surface, just above the concrete that I had put in this summer. So replacing the post will be difficult, it's not really soil, but rather pit run that I was digging through when installing the fence.

BTW: I installed the fence to protect our 50kV electrical boxes, which are about 3 feet behind the post that he knocked over. The fence did it's job, I am sure he would have run into the electrical box, as he was on the perfect path. Yesterday morning when it happened, his tire tracks were easily visible because there was like a half inch of snow on the ground.

So what now? Here are a few options that I have thought and talked to DW about. Please let me know if I am missing any!

(1) Do nothing and replace the fence post next spring myself.

(2) Go over tomorrow, talk to the neighbor and ask what the plan is.

(3) Wait another week and go over to talk to him then.

(4) This is the funny one - suggested by the neighbor who reported the incident to me: close off the fence area with crime scene tape, and mark the tire tracks with chalk on the asphalt, leading to the neighbors garage door. Then wait and see, LOL.

What would you do?

It's not the end of the world by any means, but extremely weird that an older neighbor, in a neighborhood like ours, would try to pull off a "hit-and-run" like that.

[Artemis Windsong]

I would do 4.

How old is this neighbor?  What kind of vehicle was this?  Those drivers of big pick ups and SUVs can't see well.  The back up alarm might have been ignored.

The driver might have thought the issue was fixed when he set the fence back up.

[Tennesseer]

I would politely mention to the homeowner his vehicle was seen by another neighbor ( and reported to you) of him hitting the fence poll.   Ask him if he would like to check for estimates to repair the fence or should you.

No reason why you should eat the repair cost.

[schildi]

Thanks Tennesseer & AABK!

His truck is an older F-250, maybe around 2000 or 2005. The neighbor is probably around 65 yo.

I don't buy that he thinks the fence was fixed by setting it straight. He is a long time maintenance manager at a local University. I am sure he knows that a fence post is not supposed to be flopping around. :-)

Here is another idea:

(5) Say nothing, fix the post in spring. After fixing it, tell him that "somebody ran into my fence post. Dang, that sucked! I fixed it, but also installed a security camera. Next time, I'll catch the "a**hole"!"   

[swamp]

Kick out his tail light. 

[CCL]

#2 including letting him know the other neighbor was a witness.

[Deleted]

Dec 27, 2019 22:15:44 GMT -5 schildi said:

(5) Say nothing, fix the post in spring. After fixing it, tell him that "somebody ran into my fence post. Dang, that sucked! I fixed it, but also installed a security camera. Next time, I'll catch the "a**hole"!"     

This is probably what I'd do, but I'm a very non-confrontational passive-aggressive type. 

[billisonboard]

Dec 27, 2019 21:05:48 GMT -5 schildi said:

... We are living in a very small community of around 20 houses, and our loop (with only 6 houses) is kinda separated from the rest. ... So we are (at least in our loop) a very close group of neighbors with watching each others animals, yards, houses, and helping each other a lot in general. ... (older couple that has just moved in this summer) ...

So your loop of 5 has a new 6th. What has your "very close group" done to welcome this new couple? How have they responded? How does that impact understanding the neighbour's reaction? How should it impact your reaction? Is there a best way to handle this based on the idea these could be your neighbors for 10, 15, 20 years?

[Tiny]

IDK. I'm generally non-confrontational - especially when I think the situation is going to be REALLY awkward and the outcome will still be the same but there will be lingering "awkwardness" maybe even bad feelings forever forward.

In your situation, I'd probably say nothing, fix the fence post, internally forgive the neighbor (they hadn't adapted to the new surroundings and made a one time "aw shit! how that that happen. There I fixed it no problem") and move on to more important things.    Cause that's what basically gonna happen - you will be fixing the fence post no matter what.  


Just out of curiousity - did they "jump a curb"? Or was there some other something that would have indicated to the driver that they were "off the road"?    If you really want to be aggressive you could install some decorative large Rocks a couple of feet in front of the fence. That way, a future vehicle heading for your fence will hit the large decorative rocks and scrape the bottom of their vehicle or perhaps damage a wheel. The large Rocks will most likely be unharmed. ooo... they are called Landscape Boulders. sooo cool!

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 28, 2019 1:01:30 GMT -5 Tiny said:

IDK. I'm generally non-confrontational - especially when I think the situation is going to be REALLY awkward and the outcome will still be the same but there will be lingering "awkwardness" maybe even bad feelings forever forward.

In your situation, I'd probably say nothing, fix the fence post, internally forgive the neighbor (they hadn't adapted to the new surroundings and made a one time "aw shit! how that that happen. There I fixed it no problem") and move on to more important things.    Cause that's what basically gonna happen - you will be fixing the fence post no matter what.  


Just out of curiousity - did they "jump a curb"? Or was there some other something that would have indicated to the driver that they were "off the road"?    If you really want to be aggressive you could install some decorative large Rocks a couple of feet in front of the fence. That way, a future vehicle heading for your fence will hit the large decorative rocks and scrape the bottom of their vehicle or perhaps damage a wheel. The large Rocks will most likely be unharmed. ooo... they are called Landscape Boulders. sooo cool!

 I was thinking a concrete post faux painted to look like a split rail post but decorative rocks work 

[giramomma]

Dec 27, 2019 21:05:48 GMT -5 schildi said:

What would you do?

It's not the end of the world by any means, but extremely weird that an older neighbor, in a neighborhood like ours, would try to pull off a "hit-and-run" like that.

I'd probably say something now if you want help with the repair cost. If you plan to foot the whole thing yourself, I'd just let it go.

I'm actually more surprised that you think people with money/live in nice housing do the right thing. They don't.

One of my old clients lived an area of 1-2 million dollar houses. She was always amused how her neighbors  weren't always decent people that do the right thing.

That said, folks with less means also don't do the decent thing either.

My car has been hit to the point of being visibly damaged in a parking lot at work at least 3-4 times that I know about.

Want to guess how many times folks have left their info?

0.

[dogmom]

I would make the repair, and put a boulder in front of the repair.

(Neighbor learned the hard way the second time)

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 28, 2019 10:18:44 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Dec 27, 2019 21:05:48 GMT -5 schildi said:

What would you do?

It's not the end of the world by any means, but extremely weird that an older neighbor, in a neighborhood like ours, would try to pull off a "hit-and-run" like that.

I'd probably say something now if you want help with the repair cost. If you plan to foot the whole thing yourself, I'd just let it go.

I'm actually more surprised that you think people with money/live in nice housing do the right thing. They don't.

One of my old clients lived an area of 1-2 million dollar houses. She was always amused how her neighbors  weren't always decent people that do the right thing.

That said, folks with less means also don't do the decent thing either.

My car has been hit to the point of being visibly damaged in a parking lot at work at least 3-4 times that I know about.

Want to guess how many times folks have left their info?

0.

Kinda like people going on ad nauseam about living in gated community!    

[Deleted]

#2 plus boulders or sharpened lengths of rebar buried with tip just below the soil in front of the fence post.  Human weight is not enough to impale anyone but a vehicle has a puncture.  Works really well I'm told 

[bobosensei]

I'd get a camera for sure now, but also would be inclined to go to the neighbor in person and say "hey, someone saw you run into the fence post, it is broken" then just stand there looking at him until he offers to fix it.  Worst case he becomes an a$$hole and denies it, and you can let him know you will be installing cameras.

How much will the cost to fix? 

[dannylion]

I'd be tempted to be sneaky and go ask the culprit if he saw what happened, then mention that someone told you that one of the other neighbors saw it happen, but you haven't had time to talk to them yet.  Then I'd just grin at him and watch the thoughts fly across his face.  I would also plant some attractive shrubs that concealed large boulders.  

[schildi]

Still haven't heard anything, and haven't seen him in person yet either.

The cost of the material is probably around $60 - $80, the real bummer is that it will be an afternoon of work (my guess is a total of 4hours between me and one of my boys).

If we would hire someone, it would probably be in the $500 range.

[NoNamePerson]

Go get pictures of damage to his car

[laterbloomer]

Definitely 2. But, are you prepared to let him buy the materials and do yhe repair. You should know that answer before talking to him

[Deleted]

I'd knock on the door and ask if since he hit your fence he would be willing to come hold the post when you re-cement it down in the spring?  

[schildi]

Dec 28, 2019 15:02:57 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Definitely 2. But, are you prepared to let him buy the materials and do yhe repair. You should know that answer before talking to him

Yeah, good point.

[obelisk]

Dec 27, 2019 21:05:48 GMT -5 schildi said:

This is so awkward ....

We are living in a very small community of around 20 houses, and our loop (with only 6 houses) is kinda separated from the rest. All properties in the $700k+ range, with 1 - 3 acre lots. So we are (at least in our loop) a very close group of neighbors with watching each others animals, yards, houses, and helping each other a lot in general.

So that makes it even weirder.

To make it short: yesterday morning neighbor across (older couple that has just moved in this summer) backed his truck out of his driveway, made a weird swerve and ran into my newly built split rail fence. He knocked one post over.

I would not have known anything, but another neighbor watched the whole thing from his back porch, from a little bit of a distance, and kind of around the corner. So he reports seeing the new neighbor back out, run into the fence post (knocking it over) with a loud bang. He stops his truck, gets out and looks at it. Gets back in the truck and pulls forward. Gets out again and straightens the post. Stands there for another 30 secs to a minute looking at it, then drives off.

My original reaction was that he will send a message or call. Did not happen. So I thought maybe he wants to talk in person, but so far, that did not happen either. His truck was in the driveway all day, and he did not come over.

Now is that weird, or am I off here? I would have contacted any neighbor right away, offering to fix the damage or discuss how we can address it. The post is broken off maybe 8-10" below the surface, just above the concrete that I had put in this summer. So replacing the post will be difficult, it's not really soil, but rather pit run that I was digging through when installing the fence.

BTW: I installed the fence to protect our 50kV electrical boxes, which are about 3 feet behind the post that he knocked over. The fence did it's job, I am sure he would have run into the electrical box, as he was on the perfect path. Yesterday morning when it happened, his tire tracks were easily visible because there was like a half inch of snow on the ground.

So what now? Here are a few options that I have thought and talked to DW about. Please let me know if I am missing any!

(1) Do nothing and replace the fence post next spring myself.

(2) Go over tomorrow, talk to the neighbor and ask what the plan is.

(3) Wait another week and go over to talk to him then.

(4) This is the funny one - suggested by the neighbor who reported the incident to me: close off the fence area with crime scene tape, and mark the tire tracks with chalk on the asphalt, leading to the neighbors garage door. Then wait and see, LOL.

What would you do?

It's not the end of the world by any means, but extremely weird that an older neighbor, in a neighborhood like ours, would try to pull off a "hit-and-run" like that.

Introduce yourself and discuss the issue, there is no need to worry since your neighbor most likely want to keep the peace in the neighborhood. In a different world what would be your response be if your neighbor contacted you with damage to his property?

[schildi]

I went over and knocked on the door. Asked if he had any information or seen anything. It was a bit of an awkward situation when he said "Really?", Then paused for several seconds. He then stood up and admitted hitting the post.
He offered to pay for the repairs, wheather it's just the parts if I do it or if I have someone do the work.
All is good. I will probably do it myself in spring and have him pay for the parts.
Thanks for all the responses!

[irishpad]

Dec 29, 2019 12:16:38 GMT -5 schildi said:

I went over and knocked on the door. Asked if he had any information or seen anything. It was a bit of an awkward situation when he said "Really?", Then paused for several seconds. He then stood up and admitted hitting the post.
He offered to pay for the repairs, wheather it's just the parts if I do it or if I have someone do the work.
All is good. I will probably do it myself in spring and have him pay for the parts.
Thanks for all the responses!

Good job.   Now you can mend fences (bad pun) even further by inviting them over to dinner, drinks or lunch just to foster the longer term neighborly relationship.    I must admit though, #4 would have been fun

[Tennesseer]

Dec 29, 2019 12:16:38 GMT -5 schildi said:

I went over and knocked on the door. Asked if he had any information or seen anything. It was a bit of an awkward situation when he said "Really?", Then paused for several seconds. He then stood up and admitted hitting the post.
He offered to pay for the repairs, wheather it's just the parts if I do it or if I have someone do the work.
All is good. I will probably do it myself in spring and have him pay for the parts.
Thanks for all the responses!

Good for you and your neighbor for doing the right thing even if belated.

[Deleted]

I'm not as impressed with the neighbor's offer as some of you seem to be.  He only offered when he was confronted.  And even then he hesitated even though he knew what he had done.

Don't make an enemy of the guy.  But, personally, I wouldn't be inviting the neighbor over for dinner.  This isn't the type of person I would want for a friend.  I'd be polite and cordial, but that's it.  Basically, the guy is deceitful.  I wouldn't be able to forget that.

[dannylion]

Dec 29, 2019 12:16:38 GMT -5 schildi said:

I went over and knocked on the door. Asked if he had any information or seen anything. It was a bit of an awkward situation when he said "Really?", Then paused for several seconds. He then stood up and admitted hitting the post.
He offered to pay for the repairs, wheather it's just the parts if I do it or if I have someone do the work.
All is good. I will probably do it myself in spring and have him pay for the parts.
Thanks for all the responses!

You're still putting up the cameras, right?  And you're going to tell him about them, right?  I wouldn't turn my back on this guy.  He didn't own up until he was backed into a corner.  If you hadn't taken the initiative, it looks like he'd have had no problem never taking responsibility.  I'd also let him know he was seen so he knows others are onto him, too.   

[Deleted]

About your neighbor, "Once a sleaze, always a sleaze".  Smile, wave, and watch the creep.  It's been said that integrity is what you do when no one is watching, and his lack of proactivity in fixing the problem says he has no integrity.  

[CCL]

I'm not impressed with the guy either. He's the one in the wrong, not you. He should have never even put you in that situation to begin with. Why should you be the only one concerned about it?

At least it all sounds like it will work out for you. Hopefully he'll follow thru with paying for the repairs.

[schildi]

I am with all of you. The cameras are ordered, I already have a Ring system, and just adding a few cameras to it.

And yes, I am not 100% happy either. He was hesitant admitting he hit the post, and he would NOT have stepped up without me walking over and knocking on the door.

BTW --- they are well integrated already, they have bought the property in 2016, but just moved physically in this summer. So they were part of many of our neighborhood parties already, making it even more awkward.

I am not going to tell anybody else, but I can tell you that the other neighbor who saw it (who is actually a really funny guy) does not stop making fun of it. The messages are flying, LOL.

In the end, we all make mistakes. The guys across did for sure, and it will take some time for me to digest, but I doubt he'd do it again.

BTW: here is one more thing I will do: I will for sure let him know next time we meet that I KNEW it was him. Not necessarily telling him the other neighbor saw him, even though the other neighbor would be 100% fine with that (we talked). But just letting him know.

Also: I would have really loved to do #4, but the wife told me that I am too old for that kind of thing. Ouch, these reminders really hurt!