Urgent! Advice needed

[Poptart]

Hello my peeps, my boyfriend has a situation on his hands and since neither of us knows how to deal with this situation we thought we would bring it here and get your opinions:

This is the situation: My BF has been out of a job for a few months, he is working with a recruiter who is lovely, and who has worked hard for him but has was never been able to to find him a position in the industry that he is most comfortable in, this week she set up an interview for him and today he got the job. The position offers:

$16.00 per hour, paid time off, vacation, health insurance and a 401k. The position is located about 2 miles from his home.

Now here's the wrinkle:

My boyfriend sent out a resume for another position and was contacted by a recruiter, he met with her on Friday and last night she e-mailed him telling him that a company she works for really liked his resume and wanted to schedule an interview for tomorrow. She told him she had submitted four other people for the job but they only wanted to meet with him. The perks of that job are limited, he would be making $5.00 more an hour BUT it gets him back into the mortgage industry where he was previously making a significant amount of money.

He's unsure about how to deal with this, does he accept the other job and then quit if he gets the job with the second company? He does not want to burn any bridges and he's concerned that if he tells the first recruiter the position he is in that they may take back the job offer. 

So, in his position what would you do?

[hoops902]

I'd take the first job and if the 2nd is more desirable, I'd quit and take the 2nd job.

Unless I thought I could interview with the 2nd job tomorrow, tell them I've got another offer, and let them know I'd prefer the 2nd job but they'd need to move incredibly fast.

Don't tell the first recruiter anything.

[Tennesseer]

When is the BF supposed to report for work at job one?

No harm in going for the interview at potential job #2.

[Poptart]

Job one wants him to report to work on Thursday. I don't know how quickly company 2 will move because considering the field he will probably have to do a background check and a credit check.

[raeoflyte]

Sept 24, 2019 19:50:36 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

I'd take the first job and if the 2nd is more desirable, I'd quit and take the 2nd job.

Unless I thought I could interview with the 2nd job tomorrow, tell them I've got another offer, and let them know I'd prefer the 2nd job but they'd need to move incredibly fast.

Don't tell the first recruiter anything.

It's the mortgage industry though so they're probably fine with making a ridiculously fast decision.  Guess what industry I work in?  

If he wants out of mortgage, go for the 1st one.  

[Poptart]

Raeoflyte, he wants back into the industry and he thinks he could learn a lot working with company B, he also believes having them on his resume would open doors in the future.

[ripvanwinkle]

I been in that same situation once in a previous younger life. I accepted a job with the same benefits like your BF. Shortly thereafter, one of my resume I sent out hatched. Little more money but not as much perks. More money but no 401K. Drive to work was going to be 30-45 min each way on a good traffic day.

I looked at the long tern and turned it down. My commute was 10 min and I could take the bus if I wanted to. With the benefits I think I made a better choice. Its hard to turn down more money but you have to think long term.

[NastyWoman]

I would go to the interview tomorrow and show up at job#1 on Thursday. If he gets a great offer from job#2 he can always resign. However, at this point in time there is really nothing to choose from since job#2 only wants to interview him. There is no guarantee of an acceptable job offer.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I would accept job #1.   Do the interview with job #2.  If Job #2 gets offered then resign from job #1. 

It happens all the time.  Most jobs have a 3 month probation period where the company can decide if you are a good fit.  On the flip side that is also your opportunity to part way with no hard feelings.  

I've been in a similar position and no way would I turn down job #1.  Just because the recruiter says they really like him does not mean that he would get the job.   That ends with you being left with nothing and still  unemployed.   Keep your mouth shut about the second interview,  only say something if the offer letter comes in the mail and AFTER you have your start date.

Nobody is going to faulty someone for taking a job that pays $5/hr more.  It's good business sense.   Companies do not hesitate to get rid of you if it helps their bottom line, why should you put their needs above yours?

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Sept 24, 2019 19:50:36 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

I'd take the first job and if the 2nd is more desirable, I'd quit and take the 2nd job.

Unless I thought I could interview with the 2nd job tomorrow, tell them I've got another offer, and let them know I'd prefer the 2nd job but they'd need to move incredibly fast.

Don't tell the first recruiter anything.

only door #2 - otherwise, bridge burnt with current offer.

[Tennesseer]

Take job #1. Go to job #2 interview.

If job #2 offers you a position, try negotiating with job #1 for higher wages which match or even exceed what job #2 is offering.

[raeoflyte]

If he takes job 1 and then resigns shortly there after, consider a bridge burned.  It isn't "no big deal" to have to relist the position and potentially start interviews again.  At that point they hopefully have told their 2nd and 3rd choices they didn't get the job and/or those people will have taken new jobs somewhere else so it really is starting over.  

I've never worked somewhere that would get rid of me at the drop of a hat, although (again in mortgage) I've been laid off more than average.  It's a tough call for everyone, but an industry with a long memory so while you have to make the best decision for yourself, you also have to accept that those decisions will affect you later on.  

The fact that job 1 is in a different industry and he wants to stay in mortgage makes it less likely that it will be a decision that really bites him later.  But truly if he interviews today and tells them that he has already been offered and accepted another position, but that this opportunity was so much more in line with what he wants to do long term, blah, blah, blah, there is a good chance they would get an offer ready today (especially if he's on the sales side). 

He can pull his own background check to make sure there shouldn't be anything that comes up and bad credit doesn't stop you from working in mortgage usually as long as you can calmly and articulately explain what the problem was and why it won't happen again.  

[andi9899]

Sept 25, 2019 7:34:03 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I would accept job #1.   Do the interview with job #2.  If Job #2 gets offered then resign from job #1. 

It happens all the time.  Most jobs have a 3 month probation period where the company can decide if you are a good fit.  On the flip side that is also your opportunity to part way with no hard feelings.  

I've been in a similar position and no way would I turn down job #1.  Just because the recruiter says they really like him does not mean that he would get the job.   That ends with you being left with nothing and still  unemployed.   Keep your mouth shut about the second interview,  only say something if the offer letter comes in the mail and AFTER you have your start date.

Nobody is going to faulty someone for taking a job that pays $5/hr more.  It's good business sense.   Companies do not hesitate to get rid of you if it helps their bottom line, why should you put their needs above yours?

This.

[hoops902]

Sept 25, 2019 9:23:29 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

If he takes job 1 and then resigns shortly there after, consider a bridge burned.  It isn't "no big deal" to have to relist the position and potentially start interviews again.  At that point they hopefully have told their 2nd and 3rd choices they didn't get the job and/or those people will have taken new jobs somewhere else so it really is starting over.  

I've never worked somewhere that would get rid of me at the drop of a hat, although (again in mortgage) I've been laid off more than average.  It's a tough call for everyone, but an industry with a long memory so while you have to make the best decision for yourself, you also have to accept that those decisions will affect you later on.  

The fact that job 1 is in a different industry and he wants to stay in mortgage makes it less likely that it will be a decision that really bites him later.  But truly if he interviews today and tells them that he has already been offered and accepted another position, but that this opportunity was so much more in line with what he wants to do long term, blah, blah, blah, there is a good chance they would get an offer ready today (especially if he's on the sales side). 

He can pull his own background check to make sure there shouldn't be anything that comes up and bad credit doesn't stop you from working in mortgage usually as long as you can calmly and articulately explain what the problem was and why it won't happen again.  

Totally agree.  I also think the idea of "don't burn bridges" is kind of silly.  You shouldn't go out of your way to burn bridges, don't go on a rampage your last day of work, don't start telling people off when you should keep it to yourself.  But you can't live your life hoping to please everyone else all the time.  Sometimes, no matter what you do, you're going to burn that bridge anyways.  

The question is whether burning that bridge is worth it.  In this case, yes, it probably is.  But you're definitely burning the bridge, they're probably never going to offer him a job again if he accepts this one and quits it in the first few months, much less the first day or two.  In this scenario though, that sounds worth it.

[simser]

Could he potentially ask for a week or two delay on start time? Then if he got job #2, he wouldn't start job #1 (with all that paperwork), but if he didnt then he could start with a clean conscious.

Someone did that to us once. He ended up working with us, but he was delaying to see if he could get a better job. No hard feelings were had.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Totally agree. I also think the idea of "don't burn bridges" is kind of silly. You shouldn't go out of your way to burn bridges, don't go on a rampage your last day of work, don't start telling people off when you should keep it to yourself. But you can't live your life hoping to please everyone else all the time.




I've learned this the hard way more times than I care to count in the past couple of years.  

I often think about how much I've cost myself in terms of salary/opportunity by feeling that that I owe my employer my undying loyalty.  Meanwhile when grant money ran out I was pushed out the door without a second thought.   Yeah it only happened once every 5 years but both times I did some stupid shit thinking I would never get a good reference/be hired again if I had pursued something that in hindsight would have been better for me.

Didn't make that mistake again with the hospital.  I totally scorched earth there (not recommended but it was a toxic situation) and ended up where I am at now.  I am totally cool with never being able to work for the hospital or any of their affiliates again so long as I shall live.   Burning bridges can be worth it depending on the circumstances.

[alabamagal]

I agree with most, start job 1, interview with 2 and see what happens. If 2 is better, take it. Don’t worry about burning bridges, especially if you are in a large industry ( mortgage business is huge). Companies can get rid of you in drop of a hat, so don’t feel like you are hurting them. And don’t mention to recruiter #1 either. While they may act friendly and do a good job, they only get paid when they fill a position.