Dealing with stress-Input needed

[Ryan]

I've always been pretty laid back, very laid back.  Even now, I don't have any major stressers (no family issues, money issues, health issues, etc).  What I've noticed is there are certain things that I view as being "wrong" that I have a hard time letting go.  For instance, I live close to school in an area with no sidewalks.  The traffic around the area is horrible, especially if you're walking to school.  The school redirects traffic in a way that I think is unsafe for kids walking to school.  At some point, I appeal to the school principal.  That doesn't get very far, so I appeal to the assistant superintendent and eventually the superintendent.  I'm pretty adamant that this is dangerous to kids and there is a better way, but they think it's the best of a really 

Honestly, I have a lot of options to avoid this stresser.  I could drive to school, I could get to school earlier, and I could go around the block to a safer route (taking me literally .2 miles out of the way).  For some reason, it aggravates me so much that I have a hard time letting it go.  Maybe the fact that I have to think about it every day and that's what bothers me.  

Not sure if I'm stressed in another area of my life and it comes out in these weird ways or what.  Anyone got any tips?  This is just 1st world problems mostly and I recognize that, but don't get why I can't let things go.

[chiver78]

I think that you're lucky that this is what you CAN focus on for stress. that said, it's still stress and that's shitty.

is there a reason you're appealing to the school board and not, say, the town DPW that would be installing the sidewalks anyway? or the town council (or whatever the mechanism where you live). the school is probably only going to be able to help with the area on the school grounds, if even that. you might be directing your annoyance at the wrong target. good luck. 

[weltschmerz]

Sept 20, 2019 14:49:29 GMT -5 Ryan said:

I've always been pretty laid back, very laid back.  Even now, I don't have any major stressers (no family issues, money issues, health issues, etc).  What I've noticed is there are certain things that I view as being "wrong" that I have a hard time letting go.  For instance, I live close to school in an area with no sidewalks.  The traffic around the area is horrible, especially if you're walking to school.  The school redirects traffic in a way that I think is unsafe for kids walking to school.  At some point, I appeal to the school principal.  That doesn't get very far, so I appeal to the assistant superintendent and eventually the superintendent.  I'm pretty adamant that this is dangerous to kids and there is a better way, but they think it's the best of a really 

Honestly, I have a lot of options to avoid this stresser.  I could drive to school, I could get to school earlier, and I could go around the block to a safer route (taking me literally .2 miles out of the way).  For some reason, it aggravates me so much that I have a hard time letting it go.  Maybe the fact that I have to think about it every day and that's what bothers me.  

Not sure if I'm stressed in another area of my life and it comes out in these weird ways or what.  Anyone got any tips?  This is just 1st world problems mostly and I recognize that, but don't get why I can't let things go.

It's probably this.  You're like the "clean freak" who obsesses over the fringe on his rugs and combs them. It's not the fringe that's really bothering him.

[Ryan]

Sept 20, 2019 14:54:32 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I think that you're lucky that this is what you CAN focus on for stress. that said, it's still stress and that's shitty.

is there a reason you're appealing to the school board and not, say, the town DPW that would be installing the sidewalks anyway? or the town council (or whatever the mechanism where you live). the school is probably only going to be able to help with the area on the school grounds, if even that. you might be directing your annoyance at the wrong target. good luck. 

It's unincorporated, so it's tricky.  In order to put sidewalks in, the highway dept will do it but residents need to approve (which they won't cause many don't have kids).  The school works with the city to route traffic around the area, my issue is with how they route the traffic.  They basically overload certain streets and underuse other streets.  What it comes down to is the Highway Dept and Police will do whatever the school thinks is necessary.  If the school wants to change flow, they'll get support.  So they need to put their weight behind the recommendation in order to get change moving.  They are stuck on doing it the same way, even though enrollment is way up.

[billisonboard]

Sept 20, 2019 15:21:37 GMT -5 Ryan said:

... my issue is with how they route the traffic. ...

I get that you disagree that how they route the traffic is the best way to do it. But I wonder if your "issue" is that you are being told you are wrong. (I could just be projecting because I really don't like to be told I am wrong in like situations.)

[Ryan]

Sept 20, 2019 15:53:51 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Sept 20, 2019 15:21:37 GMT -5 Ryan said:

... my issue is with how they route the traffic. ...

I get that you disagree that how they route the traffic is the best way to do it. But I wonder if your "issue" is that you are being told you are wrong. (I could just be projecting because I really don't like to be told I am wrong in like situations.)

I don't think that's my issue (maybe it is, who knows).  I think I mostly get aggravated because they don't seem to have the energy to deal with it.   Kinda like any problem, it's not a big deal unless you're directly involved.  If you're not, they don't see it as an issue.  Unfortunately, nobody will see it as an issue until somebody gets hurt.  

I know that they want to tell me something like "if you're concerned, then just take another route", but they won't say that.  My concern isn't necessarily for me, it's for all the kids that walk down the road.  

[billisonboard]

Sept 20, 2019 16:00:32 GMT -5 Ryan said:

Sept 20, 2019 15:53:51 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

I get that you disagree that how they route the traffic is the best way to do it. But I wonder if your "issue" is that you are being told you are wrong. (I could just be projecting because I really don't like to be told I am wrong in like situations.)

I don't think that's my issue (maybe it is, who knows).  I think I mostly get aggravated because they don't seem to have the energy to deal with it.   Kinda like any problem, it's not a big deal unless you're directly involved.  If you're not, they don't see it as an issue.  Unfortunately, nobody will see it as an issue until somebody gets hurt.  

I know that they want to tell me something like "if you're concerned, then just take another route", but they won't say that.  My concern isn't necessarily for me, it's for all the kids that walk down the road.  

From the OP: What I've noticed is there are certain things that I view as being "wrong" that I have a hard time letting go. For instance, ...

You indicated that this is one of some instances. I would encourage you to look for the pattern/theme that runs through and not just focus on this one.

If you don't find the "being wrong" as fitting into the pattern, how about situations violating your sense of personal efficacy?

[bean29]

The fact that this is something that is not in your power to control, and those who may be able to control it, don’t think they can fix it, suggests you need to let go. If you can’t let go, I think you should contact a mental health professional. It is like a mania-that you are the only one that can see the problem and cause it to be corrected.

I would hope they can prescribe something that can make you feel more zen about it