oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 9:43:46 GMT -5
So daughter has been at college what a whole two weeks now, and she has asked several times about bringing her car up there. She's in northern New York. The weather will get bad in winter. I won't let her take the Honda. I've been talking about trading it in for a Subaru eventually anyway. Honestly, I'm sorry i ever bought anything without AWD. It will cost more in insurance no doubt but I'm ok making the finance decisions on my own. I'll weigh the pros and cons... that's why i put this off topic...
I'm more interested in discussing the other issues. Personally, I think she's spoiled. She's used to going where ever she wants when she wants and taking anyone who wants to go... taking a shuttle is annoying. It is also time consuming i'll give her that. But it wouldn't hurt her.
That said, she's 3 1/2 hours away and no easy train access like son. If she wants to come home its a lot of driving. If she had the car, she could drive herself and a few others from the area who go there. That's a savings.
That said... weather will get bad... i can see me forcing her to keep the car there and STILL driving up to get them for Christmas... but then her car would be there... we'd have to bring back both... or gah...
I am very worried about accidents. Its a long road, although all highway, but high altitude and likely to be snowy and icy. I don't think she has enough experience with that kind of driving.
I could trade in the car, keep it here, make her spend all of winter break driving it with me in bad conditions... see how i feel about it then. Buying a lower mileage newer vehicle and 'aging' it a few years here at home before paying full insurance again has an appeal too...
I don't know what i'm doing here besides rambling. Do any of your kids at college have their own cars with them. I mean I did... and it was a renault le car... not exactly wonderful for PA winters either... maybe i'm just too overprotective?
Anyway, what pros and cons have you found, do you see with a kid having a car at college? What decisions have you made about this topic? Thanks for the input.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Sept 2, 2019 11:26:28 GMT -5
I don't live in that area so don't know your options for public transportation for your daughter. I know NAU in Flagstaff has a lot of bicycles and a shuttle that goes from north to south campus. A lot of kids do that.
Is there a train that goes from where she is to where you live for her coming home on vacations? Flying?
I too would be scared of her driving on possible ice for that long of distance.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Sept 2, 2019 11:42:02 GMT -5
I could trade in the car, keep it here, make her spend all of winter break driving it with me in bad conditions... see how i feel about it then. Buying a lower mileage newer vehicle and 'aging' it a few years here at home before paying full insurance again has an appeal too...
I like that one the best, considering your uneasiness with her driving it. You know your daughter, you know what kind of driver she is, and you know how well she makes good choices or impulsive ones. A few months of dealing with the hassle of figuring out transportation won't kill her.
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oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 12:16:03 GMT -5
There isn't really public transport from school to home. There are several kids that go there from here and I think I can get a car pool together for some things. She is at RIT. RIT is actually not in the city. They have basically a compound that is a few miles outside a smaller town. There is school based transportation to and from the town which is nearby and back and forth to the city at different intervals. On campus she has a scooter for getting around. It is a huge place really. Everything she NEEDS is there... although not everything she might want, I know. But there is a person on her floor who has already said she is always up to drive to the fabric store... and they went to the 'beach' this weekend, so some people have cars. She said it was hours to take a trip to target the other day because of the shuttles, but its not like she needs to do that every day I'm going to gather some information this week and continue to mull it over.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Sept 2, 2019 12:24:11 GMT -5
For me there are 2 main questions; is it her car and is she a reckless driver? If the answer to the first question is no she can deal with the inconvenience. If the answer to the second question is yes then i wouldn't be giving her a car.
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oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 12:32:32 GMT -5
Good question. She isn't reckless. I also have to consider more the first question. The Honda is mine, although she is the one who drives it. Her brother's Subaru is his. I paid 2/3. He took out a loan which he pays for the other 1/3. He has been making 15$ an hour minimum for years though. She makes minimum wage and hasn't worked as many hours. She isn't paying 1/3 of her car. Her college is cheaper than his is though, mostly due to area. I would guess if we trade in, this will be her car, with my trade in being my part... and we'd need to figure out how the rest would work. That's finances though and a different question to me.
She isn't reckless. But 18 year olds by nature are who they are... prefrontal cortex and all... and have less experience than us, so there is that.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 2, 2019 12:39:57 GMT -5
Where would your daughter park the car and how easy is it for her to get too and from the parking? How much does it cost for student parking? How much driving has she done in bad weather? Is she pretty confident about things? Panic easily?
For folks living in the dorms, off street parking a 15 minute walk away is about the only cheap option on campus. The other option would be to rent a parking space (again, 15-20 minute walk away) for $75/month..in my parts. My parents prohibited me from driving in the snow while I was under their roof. I also didn't drive routinely from 18-23. The first time I drove in the snow is when I was 23, on a freeway, with some inches on the ground. My car was old...about 14 years old at that point...front wheel drive...no snow tires. Honestly, it didn't dawn on me that I shouldn't have been driving. I was fine. I just drove slow to match everyone else. My mom was upset it took me twice as long to get home. The other thing I would consider is how much free time your DD should be having under normal conditions. At my school, when classes started before labor day, combined with freshman move in...it took a few weeks to get in the swing of things...and there might be less time for driving around.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Sept 2, 2019 12:45:23 GMT -5
Good question. She isn't reckless. I also have to consider more the first question. The Honda is mine, although she is the one who drives it. Her brother's Subaru is his. I paid 2/3. He took out a loan which he pays for the other 1/3. He has been making 15$ an hour minimum for years though. She makes minimum wage and hasn't worked as many hours. She isn't paying 1/3 of her car. Her college is cheaper than his is though, mostly due to area. I would guess if we trade in, this will be her car, with my trade in being my part... and we'd need to figure out how the rest would work. That's finances though and a different question to me. She isn't reckless. But 18 year olds by nature are who they are... prefrontal cortex and all... and have less experience than us, so there is that. I would say no because it's mot her car but i would not hold being 18 against her if she has shown herself not to be reckless.
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oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 12:46:50 GMT -5
Agreed. Her schedule hasn't gotten tight yet. I was just saying to mroped that I don't also am not sure that she needs another reason to 'be busy' as i'd call it.
I am leaning towards not this year. Maybe allowing her to do a trial run if i can figure out parking for a short term. I hadn't looked up the specifics of on campus yet. I know they can because others on her floor do, but i need to look up exact details. Thanks.
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oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 12:53:43 GMT -5
The Parking Fee is $100 a year.
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plugginaway22
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Post by plugginaway22 on Sept 2, 2019 12:57:59 GMT -5
We said no in year 1 for the 2 kiddos who went away. It was good for both to figure out public transit, shuttles, etc after being suburbanites with cars for 18 years. Both took a car after year 1. The first week DD2 had her car at school the back windshield was smashed because of a bag of laundry that looked like a purse. DD1 also had her car stop running on the DC beltway, but did have a AAA membership to help her. Those were the days...
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Sept 2, 2019 13:05:13 GMT -5
I say no way. College kids drink and get stupid. Your Dd may be very responsible, but after a few beers,common sense goes out the window. And the kids lend out their cars for beer/food runs. If your daughter doesn't drink now, she will. My Dd never tasted beer until her freshman year.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Sept 2, 2019 13:11:40 GMT -5
I’d say yes, but that’s probably because my parents sent me to college with a car. If your daughter is responsible and you trust her, I’d send her car to her. Parking is cheap, and it’ll make your life easier for trips home. The freshman lot wasn’t near the freshman dorms at my college, so I rarely drove my car during the week. But I was 6 hours from home; so it was definitely more convenient to be able to drive myself home for the weekend or a school break. Also, my nearest home airport was 90 miles away, so not convenient to fly.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2019 13:13:00 GMT -5
I'm saying no for the first year (not that DS cares one way or another). I'm not worried about winter driving, but at the schools he's considering there just is no real reason for driving and it would just be extra expense and possibly more hassle having the car that far away (it's just a $1000 22 year old car after all). Right now he only drives to go to work or school functions and wouldn't need it for that there. He pretty much never drives just for fun to meet friends or things like that. Chances are the car would sit in the lot for weeks on end not being used and then he'd go out when he wanted to drive home and the battery would be froze solid or something.
His top 2 choices for schools are both 4 hours away and have very good student transportation, the one is free for anywhere in the city and there are bus lines that shuttle from campus to campus daily around here. He can take the bus from either of those schools to a campus fairly close to us for $35. That's about what he'd pay for a tank of gas and instead of driving for 4 hours, he can kick back with free WiFi or nap on the trip. Besides not having to pay for parking fees, State Farm will drop the rate I'm paying for insurance a lot when he's gone if he doesn't take his car.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2019 13:16:12 GMT -5
The Parking Fee is $100 a year. That's cheap, but are there still spots available? None of the schools around here have spots anymore. They open them up to Seniors first, and work their way down the seniority list, but by the time school is running they're long gone.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Sept 2, 2019 13:16:47 GMT -5
My nephew had no car his fall semester. It was his car, he pays the loan, etc. Spring semester when he went back after Easter he drove his car. This was his sophomore year. He stayed local for freshman year. Junior year he had the car all year. His parents wanted him to adjust and adapt without driving all over.
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oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 13:21:32 GMT -5
I say no way. College kids drink and get stupid. Your Dd may be very responsible, but after a few beers,common sense goes out the window. And the kids lend out their cars for beer/food runs. If your daughter doesn't drink now, she will. My Dd never tasted beer until her freshman year. We always invited them to drink at home. It was actually mandatory they try getting drunk at least once so they knew what that felt like in a controlled environment. They never were much for drinking. I'm sure there will be parties, but that isn't actually one of the things I worry about, for better or for worse. I'm more worried about date rape drugs than her drinking and driving.
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oped
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Post by oped on Sept 2, 2019 13:23:52 GMT -5
mpl. I just called the insurance for the 'she's at school without the car' discount. It was $200 something for the year? Sigh. I'm calling him tomorrow and running some options so i'm fully informed about the insurance before i make a decision.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Sept 2, 2019 14:13:45 GMT -5
Who will be doing the shoveling?
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Sept 2, 2019 15:00:05 GMT -5
We live rurally, and there's not much in the way of public transportation. We pay our kids' auto insurance through age 24 or they've finished their bachelor's degrees.
Kid #1: Gave him a rundown car that we didn't need anymore. He kept it at college with him. It lasted him until he was about 26.
Kid #2: He refused to get his license until he was 20. By that time, we'd traded in the car we'd purchased for him to use when he was 16. Due to his lack of responsibility and then refusal to finish his associate's degree, he bought his own $500 car when he was 21.
Kid #3: We didn't buy her a car while she was in high school because she wasn't particularly trustworthy. The college town she was at when she was a freshman didn't have great public transportation, and she was being stubborn. It was easier for us to just buy her a $5,000 car to take with her. When that one died two years later, we bought her a brand new Kia Soul. She was working nights at Amazon near Seattle, and we didn't want her taking public transportation home at 4:00am. However, that reduced the amount we've paid toward tuition. She is now in her senior year, and she has classes and student teaching. Car is still good.
Kid #4: DH gave up on all rules for driving by the time he got to the fourth kid. He bought this one a $5,000 three weeks after she'd turned 16, and she didn't even have her license yet because we've made the other three wait until the were 16.5. She graduated this year. The car is fine, but she really doesn't need one where she's going to college. She'll be a two-hour drive away. Parking is at least $1,000/year. at parent orientation last month, they flat out said "do not send a car with your kid".
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 2, 2019 17:52:24 GMT -5
I had my car at school. I was about 2.5 hours away. Can't recall how much it was to park. Only upperclassmen could have cars on campus.
I never had problems in bad weather. I watched the reports and adjusted leaving town accordingly.
I liked not having to depended on my parents to bring home. I also made trips to the store for better TP, laundry detergent, snacks etc.
My dad looked over the car whenever I came home. I was responsible for basic things which wasn't hard.
A lot of people would go to Des Moines on.the weekend because it was 30 minutes away from campus.
So I'm for letting her have it. I was not a partier in HS and did not magically become one in college. If she's otherwise a good kid I would not worry.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Sept 2, 2019 18:02:32 GMT -5
Check how much there is in car break- ins/ vandalism around her college before deciding. It has been many moons since DS2 graduated from that school but at the time there were a lot of problems with this. DS2 car unfortunately contributed to the statistics...
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Sept 2, 2019 21:53:46 GMT -5
You mentioned carpooling for going to/from school. My question is this - what kind of driver is she compared to others, both her age and experienced adult drivers? Would you rather trust her driving skills or those of others to get her home safely? Also, can you go get her for vacations easily enough?I
Persnally, I think but if waiting for shuttles and to go to Target, etc can be good for someone. Also, given what you have described I'd wait a year or even two and try ti put her in a safer vehicle starting her junior year.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 2, 2019 22:03:59 GMT -5
Depending on traffic, ODS’ college is at least an hour from BWI or Amtrak. Freshman and sophomore years he did not have a car and relied on the college’s shuttle to get to the airport for breaks or we drove down and picked him up. We always made him drive all the way back so that he got practice with long drives. When necessary for errands/doctor appointments/etc., we rented him cars through our AAA membership (the Gold level waives under-25 fees). One summer, he rented frequently enough (was living alone in his deserted college town) that we crunched the numbers and scored a fabulous model year end deal on a base model pick up. He has now driven back and forth to Boston enough that I don’t worry too much.
YDS does not have a car. He is able to catch a bus on campus for the 5 hour ride all the way to Boston. But, I have picked him up on several occasions and made him do the drive home. He has a girlfriend with a car for any driving near his college town. 😉. He also drives long distances in a college-owned vehicle in VERY remote areas of New England for his summer job. He learned to drive during Boston’s record-breaking snowfall winter in 2015, so has a good deal of experience driving in bad weather. I am currently on the hunt for another model year end deal for him as he graduates in May and will begin work and/or grad school promptly after.
Can you spend this year picking your DD up and making her do the driving both ways so that she gets the practice with an eye to letting her have her car next year?
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Sept 2, 2019 22:09:17 GMT -5
DD took her car to car to college but then her major had a lot of off campus field trips and field work. She would have to go work on the campus farm and go out to the soil pit and study things. The local shop that handled the AAA calls did get to know her well for locking her keys in the car.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Sept 3, 2019 9:10:10 GMT -5
There isn't really public transport from school to home. There are several kids that go there from here and I think I can get a car pool together for some things. She is at RIT. RIT is actually not in the city. They have basically a compound that is a few miles outside a smaller town. There is school based transportation to and from the town which is nearby and back and forth to the city at different intervals. On campus she has a scooter for getting around. It is a huge place really. Everything she NEEDS is there... although not everything she might want, I know. But there is a person on her floor who has already said she is always up to drive to the fabric store... and they went to the 'beach' this weekend, so some people have cars. She said it was hours to take a trip to target the other day because of the shuttles, but its not like she needs to do that every day I'm going to gather some information this week and continue to mull it over. DS2 went to RIT, and DD1 went to UR. You don't need a car at college, it's just a convenience, and often an inconvenience (parking, overzealous ticketing in some communities for revenue, breakins or damage, upkeep needed). Rochester gets snow, but you can never predict when weather will be an issue. Might be difficult to drive at Thanksgiving, or winter break, or during the usual blizzard season (late Jan thru Feb), or a freak October/April storm. Rochester itself doesn't have an altitude issue, must be the rest of the drive to home that does (thru the Southern Tier?). Its really the long drive that's more problematic for hitting bad conditions, because you could start out in great conditions, but drive thru several areas with rotten conditions 15 minutes or an hour or 2 away as you go. DS2 would see that when he drove from the city out to his job in the Finger Lakes - great here, terrible there, great again afterwards. The other problem with winter driving is that you can be the best driver in the world, but you are at the mercy of the other idiot drivers on the road WITH you. And deer. And black ice. I know when DD1 was in college, UR arranged special end of term/holiday transportation round-ups/bundles (shuttles to train/bus/airport), but they were probably mostly NYC, etc. Maybe by now RIT has joined in (it's a few years since the oldest 2 graduated, and they never needed to use the service because we are only an hour west).
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Sept 3, 2019 10:04:27 GMT -5
You mentioned carpooling for going to/from school. My question is this - what kind of driver is she compared to others, both her age and experienced adult drivers? Would you rather trust her driving skills or those of others to get her home safely? Also, can you go get her for vacations easily enough?Persnally, I think but if waiting for shuttles and to go to Target, etc can be good for someone. Also, given what you have described I'd wait a year or even two and try ti put her in a safer vehicle starting her junior year. To me, this would be the primary consideration. It sounds like she can get around "ok" while at school. It sounds like the primary issue is getting from school to home and back again. So the options are: 1. You go and get her every time (it sounds like this would be infrequent, but 3.5 hours each way can be a pain, and I wonder how that time compares when things are bad in terms of weather. 2. She has a car and can drive, you note she isn't reckless. 3. She carpools (but noting that you have concerns about her age, why is a carpool of other drivers her age any better?). Personally, this sounds like it might be convenient, but doesn't seem like a practical safety measure (i.e. if you were thinking "she doesn't need a car, it's unnecessary due to cost, then this would be a fine replacement, but it doesn't seem like a valid safety feature). I tend to assume this seems "safer" because we tend to attribute positive aspects to people we don't know when it comes to something like this...we assume the average carpool driver will be better than our own kid as long as we don't know the other carpool driver. In reality, if your kid isn't reckless, then it's probably better to have your own kid driving (to your point about the average 18 year old brain, if yours is more mature, then understand others may be less so). So to me, this would come down to "Do I want to go pick her up and take her home every time she's coming home?". If the answer is "yes" then it doesn't sound like she needs a car. If the answer is "no", then she needs a car. If you are concerned about safety on the winter roads, I wouldn't assume that others will be any better than she is, and if she's mature then I'd be much more worried they will be far worse.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Sept 3, 2019 10:06:08 GMT -5
Also just on the winter driving thing...I'll take a bad or inexperienced driver who is mature and cautious over a skilled or experienced driver who is reckless any day. Maturity and caution can overcome a lot when conditions are poor.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2019 10:14:01 GMT -5
I'm really surprised bus companies don't service those schools. Ours have terminals right on campus. They don't even have to figure out how to get to the bus station.
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trippypea
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Post by trippypea on Sept 3, 2019 10:26:40 GMT -5
One daughter just started college and commutes. She'll switch to the main campus in two years and will leave her car at home. There is just no place to park there, and cars are discouraged. Her sister is a high school senior and has already sent out her college applications, and they are all colleges where she'd have to dorm. We've already discussed that she won't have a car on campus. In fact, although DD1 had a car senior year of high school, knowing she would be commuting to college this year, DD2 has already said, don't bother to buy me a car since I'm just going to be dorming anyway! She is taking the bus for senior year, and will drive when her sister doesn't need her car.
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