laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jul 29, 2019 11:15:12 GMT -5
Great Question. I have many wants, and hope to have them before I pass away, so at this point I’m not willing to make a list. 🙂
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 29, 2019 11:58:23 GMT -5
More babies.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 29, 2019 11:58:57 GMT -5
The love of my parents.
EYOOOOOOOOOOO, I'll be here all week, try the veal, tip your server!
Seriously though, countrygirl, I was thinking about this last night, and I am... kind of livid? with your DH?
You've spent your ENTIRE LIFE making sacrifices for others. Your mom. His mom. Your DD. You managed ALL of those things while your DH traveled and worked abroad. You built and sold homes, saved and scrimped and saved more, went above and beyond for your family for YOUR ENTIRE ADULT LIFE. You still make all the food and do all the housework for him and your DD.
And it's too much work to give you one thing that you really, really want? That you all have the money, the time, the space and the means to have and enjoy?
WHAT THE FUCK??
That is just... so dismissive. And if he's truly worried about the work, you guys have plenty of money to hire someone to come in once a week and take care of it. It's not like you're asking him to build you a ladder to the moon, or to help you live your lifelong dream of living in New York City and performing on Broadway.
Just. I'm so angry for you. This is so, so crushing.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 29, 2019 12:10:33 GMT -5
As an adult I have always wanted all my family living within a half hour travel from me. But with them spread out over three continents that is never going to happen. So I console myself with keeping in contact through Zoom/Skype regularly and seeing them as often as possible in person. And I am happy that I do have the Zoom/Skype option since it is more than my parents had when I raised my kids.
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gacpa
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Post by gacpa on Jul 29, 2019 12:30:32 GMT -5
I really love animals. Afraid I agree with Pants. You should have a horse or access to a horse if you want. If you don't want to own one now, then just "rent" one to ride or visit. It would be good for the horse and good for you. This time of your life should be about what you want and this one thing is certainly not unreasonable by anyone's standards. You have certainly earned the right to have whatever you want. I have two dogs and I would lose my husband fast if he told me no more dogs. They are a part of my life, just as he and my son are. They are a lot of work but cannot imagine life without them.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 29, 2019 12:34:01 GMT -5
I really love animals. Afraid I agree with Pants. You should have a horse or access to a horse if you want. If you don't want to own one now, then just "rent" one to ride or visit. It would be good for the horse and good for you. This time of your life should be about what you want and this one thing is certainly not unreasonable by anyone's standards. You have certainly earned the right to have whatever you want. I have two dogs and I would lose my husband fast if he told me no more dogs. They are a part of my life, just as he and my son are. They are a lot of work but cannot imagine life without them. I was talking about the pool - countrygirl says she's too old now to ride a horse and given her posts about her health issues I assumed that point was now moot. But I also agree about the horse if she feels she can safely ride a horse, JUST START HORSE RIDING.
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gacpa
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Post by gacpa on Jul 29, 2019 13:59:24 GMT -5
Pool or horse, if she wants either, she should have a pool or a horse. I can see a lot of physical benefits to having a pool. Good exercise but not hard on your body.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 29, 2019 14:11:21 GMT -5
Musical Moment It's not having what you want It's wanting what you've got
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jul 29, 2019 19:07:06 GMT -5
A nice place to live, that I can afford, with a good landlord.
I'd like to live closer to my kids (within 10-15 mins) and for them to come visit me, instead of it being me who has to always go visit them. I liked it when streets went both ways.
And since I'm wishing... I wish my body didn't feel so old. And that my ferret was still alive and healthy, as well as my boyfriend, brother, sister and parents.
World peace would be the ultimate.
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stillmovingforward
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Post by stillmovingforward on Jul 29, 2019 21:12:31 GMT -5
A second bathroom. Just for once.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 29, 2019 21:35:35 GMT -5
Country - why couldn't you ride? I know lots of seniors who ride. They often use horses that aren't known for their spunk. But, there are a lot of older, quiet horses out there who need a lot of love.
I couldn't ride a horse now if I had to. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and degenerative disk disease there too. I am losing the cushioning in my spine around L4, L5, common in older women. I have lost 2 inches in height, one day I may find it difficult to keep walking. My flat feet have caused distortion and wear in my spine over the years. Now I have some scoliosos. I get a bone density and the good part is my bones are still strong and good.Today I was vacuuming and just turned the wrong way and I'm down in my back. So that I just could not do. I've had back issues for a long time.
I might be able to wear him down on the pool, but I doubt it. I said something about traveling, he says so go. Now that's fun, taking DD instead of him and her with more health issues and me with some too. I am thinking of heading to Florida for a month or two in January or February. He would drive us down and fly back home, maybe stay a few days. Isn't that silly? But he traveled so long and just has no interest in doing so. But he didn't way back when. He had told my mom many years ago he wasn't traveling in retirement. I always assumed he would, but a lot of days I would be to tired to go anyway. About the only thing I would like to have now is the pool.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Jul 30, 2019 7:49:02 GMT -5
It certainly sounds like you can afford a pool and a pool cleaning service. Maybe you can sit your husband down and tell him that it is really important to you, and that it may help you exercise in a way that doesn't aggravate your back issues. It may also help to research the costs so you can tell him how much the pool cleaning service will cost each month. My husband is also "Mr Frugal" but if i communicate how important something is, or if it is health/safety related he will go along with it.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jul 30, 2019 11:08:13 GMT -5
Country - why couldn't you ride? I know lots of seniors who ride. They often use horses that aren't known for their spunk. But, there are a lot of older, quiet horses out there who need a lot of love.
I couldn't ride a horse now if I had to. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and degenerative disk disease there too. I am losing the cushioning in my spine around L4, L5, common in older women. I have lost 2 inches in height, one day I may find it difficult to keep walking. My flat feet have caused distortion and wear in my spine over the years. Now I have some scoliosos. I get a bone density and the good part is my bones are still strong and good.Today I was vacuuming and just turned the wrong way and I'm down in my back. So that I just could not do. I've had back issues for a long time. I might be able to wear him down on the pool, but I doubt it. I said something about traveling, he says so go. Now that's fun, taking DD instead of him and her with more health issues and me with some too. I am thinking of heading to Florida for a month or two in January or February. He would drive us down and fly back home, maybe stay a few days. Isn't that silly? But he traveled so long and just has no interest in doing so. But he didn't way back when. He had told my mom many years ago he wasn't traveling in retirement. I always assumed he would, but a lot of days I would be to tired to go anyway. About the only thing I would like to have now is the pool.
Well, you can’t do show jumping or fox hunting, but you can certainly still ride along a well-maintained trail at a leisurely pace. Find one of those stables that works with disabled kids — they wil know how to keep you comfortable and safe on the ride. And get the damn pool. Today. Because we’re all only getting older and tomorrow is not promised. If you keep waiting until it’s a good time to do something it won’t ever happen. Life is short — live it.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 30, 2019 12:03:04 GMT -5
Some things are worth arguing about, some just aren't going to happen no matter how much you argue. The title was things you wanted and will never have, so that's pretty much it.
It's 35 miles away but we have a Y there with a pool, I may start driving down there. Don't always feel like it though. Nothing locally, no riding places either, this is rural Americana, long way from anything.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2019 12:35:22 GMT -5
A maid. Not a cleaning service that comes periodically, but someone who does it daily. I also have always wanted a private swimming pool. But, again, it would have come with someone to take care of it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 30, 2019 12:55:56 GMT -5
I'd put in a pool and tell hubby to suck it. Yes he was out earning the money but you have busted your butt and then some taking care of kids, you mother, HIS mother AND his aunt and continuing to take care of DD. You deserve something nice and screw his opinion on the matter. Use some of that money you saved to hire a cute cabana boy too while you are at it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 30, 2019 13:14:24 GMT -5
Country - why couldn't you ride? I know lots of seniors who ride. They often use horses that aren't known for their spunk. But, there are a lot of older, quiet horses out there who need a lot of love.
I couldn't ride a horse now if I had to. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and degenerative disk disease there too. I am losing the cushioning in my spine around L4, L5, common in older women. I have lost 2 inches in height, one day I may find it difficult to keep walking. My flat feet have caused distortion and wear in my spine over the years. Now I have some scoliosos. I get a bone density and the good part is my bones are still strong and good.Today I was vacuuming and just turned the wrong way and I'm down in my back. So that I just could not do. I've had back issues for a long time. I might be able to wear him down on the pool, but I doubt it. I said something about traveling, he says so go. Now that's fun, taking DD instead of him and her with more health issues and me with some too. I am thinking of heading to Florida for a month or two in January or February. He would drive us down and fly back home, maybe stay a few days. Isn't that silly? But he traveled so long and just has no interest in doing so. But he didn't way back when. He had told my mom many years ago he wasn't traveling in retirement. I always assumed he would, but a lot of days I would be to tired to go anyway. About the only thing I would like to have now is the pool.
Just get th fucking pool. You can even get one of those small 3’ deep,blue ones with the inflatable ring on the top edge at Walmart for a few hundred bucks.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 30, 2019 13:15:46 GMT -5
I’ve always wanted long legs. No amount of money could get that for me.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Jul 30, 2019 14:14:04 GMT -5
I'd put in a pool and tell hubby to suck it. Yes he was out earning the money but you have busted your butt and then some taking care of kids, you mother, HIS mother AND his aunt and continuing to take care of DD. You deserve something nice and screw his opinion on the matter. Use some of that money you saved to hire a cute cabana boy too while you are at it. Yeah this. I'm not usually one to recommend making big financial decisions without your partner's agreement, but if all you ever get is a unilateral "no" and no conversation about when and how you can make it happen, you might as well start making your own unilateral decisions.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 30, 2019 15:40:38 GMT -5
I’ve always wanted long legs. No amount of money could get that for me. I mean... it's complicated but we could technically make it happen.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 30, 2019 15:55:42 GMT -5
I’ve always wanted long legs. No amount of money could get that for me. I mean... it's complicated but we could technically make it happen. Can we make me 5'10" with natural flaming red hair? I will be forever grateful!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 30, 2019 16:05:52 GMT -5
I would really love to hire a housekeeper to come clean the house every week or two weeks. Before I got married, finances were tight enough so it would have been irresponsible, so I never did it. Now that I am married and we have two incomes, we could easily afford it, but DH and his family would consider it to be lazy and immoral to pay someone to do work that we can do ourselves. So I have gone from having financial pressure not to do it, to having peer pressure not to do it. Unless dh and his family are the ones actually cleaning the house, I would tell them to shut it. I have a woman that cleans my house and I will sooner give up wine than give her up (ok, that one would be a toss-up!). I refuse to spend a good chunk of the little free time that I have cleaning.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 30, 2019 16:20:23 GMT -5
I’ve always wanted long legs. No amount of money could get that for me. I mean... it's complicated but we could technically make it happen. Some of the equipment needs to be second hand though, as in used during the Spanish Inquisition right?
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 30, 2019 18:56:36 GMT -5
That was why I liked working, I bought my own clothes and vehicles. He wasn't happy I bought a car when I wanted but I always did and most of what I wanted. He doesn't say anything about what I want and spend normally. But he would have to care for it, where we live I don't know what it would cost to get someone out here. If we were in town, likely easier. Oh well, lets hear what others want.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jul 30, 2019 19:05:18 GMT -5
If horseback riding is too painful, countrygirl2, how about getting a horse trained to pull a cart? If your property is fairly flat, you could still have some fun with a horse. I'm assuming there's enough unemployment in your area that you could hire someone to take care of the horse for you (like hiring a cleaning lady), so you could have more of the fun, and less of the work. (I wanted a horse when I was younger, too. I haven't given up on that dream just yet.)
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 30, 2019 19:12:00 GMT -5
It suddenly dawned on me that under my state's community property laws, I owned a horse once, two actually (ex-wife and daughter). For a short period of time. The brain is a great thing with the way it can block out bad memories.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jul 30, 2019 19:39:52 GMT -5
I want to live somewhere warm during Canadian winter but I'm not ready to give up on that yet. Retiring early is probably out the window unless I win a lottery. Having bio kids is never going to happen, but I really haven't wanted that all my life. I just go through phases with it.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 30, 2019 20:38:20 GMT -5
Are you kidding these unemployed people here wouldn't work, that's why many of them are unemployed. The other reason they are druggies. We only have 4 acres, lots of land around us but the power company would not lease it. Not practical, that I have given up on. Today back has been killing me and that was from moving wrong vacuuming, can you imagine trying to ride a horse. No that one is no longer feasible, but some good ideas.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jul 30, 2019 21:35:14 GMT -5
Are you kidding these unemployed people here wouldn't work, that's why many of them are unemployed. The other reason they are druggies. And you're a Democrat...
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jul 30, 2019 22:50:30 GMT -5
Yes, I am and I'm sure most of them are repubs and blame the dems for them not having a job. They aren't on welfare, can't get it if they are on drugs here. Most of the people around here are repubs. They are more worried about guns and abortion then anything else.
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