skubikky
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Post by skubikky on May 9, 2019 10:52:19 GMT -5
I don't plan to celebrate it this year. My mother had a hemorrhagic stroke last Monday, and passed on Friday. She would have been 81 on May 11. 🙁 Hey kiddo....I'm so sorry. My Mom passed away back in September. She would have been 86 on May 2. Thinking of you....
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chapeau
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Post by chapeau on May 9, 2019 13:20:42 GMT -5
I don't plan to celebrate it this year. My mother had a hemorrhagic stroke last Monday, and passed on Friday. She would have been 81 on May 11. 🙁 I’m so sorry.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on May 9, 2019 14:17:54 GMT -5
Hugs to Moon and SKubicky and OhioMom and Options and Theo and all the rest of us who have lost our mothers.
As for me, both kids are still away at school. I sent them a gentle text reminder the other day (it’s finals week for both of them so I know they are out of touch with the rest of the world). DH will be staying with DFIL who lives 3 hours away for the weekend so that DBIL and DSIL can get away for a couple of days. My employer has 2 distinct BUSY seasons and we are in the midst of the busiest of the two. I am working 65 hours this week. Was going to take Sunday off and hang with the pup and putter and eat scones from my favorite scone bakery, but a co-worker needs to go to the Midwest for a funeral this weekend and is looking for someone to work for her on Sunday. I’m not sure if I have the energy — I REALLY NEED a day off...
For those of you who will spend the day at kids’ sports or other activities: my kids ALWAYS had at least one practice and/or game on Mother’s Day but NEVER on Fathwr’s Day. So, I decided to celebrate anyway and for several years would bring cheese and crackers and strawberries and chocolate and orange juice and champagne and share with the other mothers at the activity. I would set up a folding table with a nice tablecloth and a vase of fresh flowers and pretty napkins. It might have been a touch selfish, but I only allowed mothers to partake — not younger or older kids or dads. I was sending a message. 😉. It was always a hit. Maybe you could do the same for yourself so that you don’t lose the whole day...
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 9, 2019 16:22:12 GMT -5
For a while I felt like mothers day was more of a chore than a holiday. We'd visit dgm, and usually a separate meal with my mom, and then dh's family so a lot of running around. Dgm has since passed, and I no longer feel like I have to give a gift to my mom for the sake of giving a gift. I'd prefer and she seems to agree that we'd rather spend time together so I'll usually do a mani/pedi or movie tickets for us to do together. Last year I felt like it was important to make sure my sister was more included so now I'm viewing mothers day as a day to honor all the women who make my life as a mom easier. Which is 100% my mom and my sister and I'm enjoying getting ready for it more (crafting even started a whole week in advance!) I may see dh's family this weekend, but maybe not. I also volunteered to work the weekend shift since everyone on my team is a mom and I know it's a bigger thing for a lot of people.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 9, 2019 18:26:16 GMT -5
How's the aquarium? (Just curious, I still want to make it down to the Baltimore aquarium.) I have lived in this area since 1990 and I have never been there. I remember my girls going there for school field trips. I do believe it is a marine rehabilitation facility. I do think they have some things that are also what you might typically see at an aquarium. Sounds interesting. I know Sandy Hook here in NJ has a research & marine rehab area, and I haven't been there yet either. Report back if you remember. I like aquariums.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 9, 2019 18:28:33 GMT -5
I don't plan to celebrate it this year. My mother had a hemorrhagic stroke last Monday, and passed on Friday. She would have been 81 on May 11. 🙁 I’m so sorry. Yikes, I'm sorry Moon. Had too many deaths in 2018 to deal with this info. My Mom passed at age 85? last year as did my BF in Aug. Be good to yourself.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 9, 2019 18:32:50 GMT -5
You give it to the lizard or bird that is willing to eat dead insects. I'll consider it a plus if Crestie, the male crested gecko, remains alive during unrelenting pollen season. (Currently my only critter) Sushi himself likes to eat them. He always hopes I'll say "No, it's OK. I'm quite full, thank you. You can have it." Nice. Since I'm in my usual barely sleeping sinus issues, seasonal allergies mode my Crestie is stressed and not eating as much as I'd like. He only eats moving things, preferably slow. Not a hunter like my bearded dragon, or my first male water dragon.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on May 9, 2019 18:57:29 GMT -5
I stopped in on my mom a few days early. I spent the night and went with her to her church quilting group. What a gas! We sewed at the sewing machines while listening to the other old hens cluck, cluck, cluck.
I took her a nice bouquet of cut flowers, and now I need to get going on her birthday which is at the end of the month. Mom is almost 82 and I try to spend time with her every month we are in the same state together.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on May 9, 2019 19:02:23 GMT -5
My greeting to the mother's in the family will be on facebook. We are supposed to gather for a Mother's Day/birthday celebration. My DIL, her sisters, and Mom are going on a girls trip to another city. They will have fun. I wasn't invited, which is fine, since I don't fit with their shopping.
My nonshopping is from childhood when we shopped only for school. Then as a young, broke adult, no shopping. I see now how hurt my teen daughter was that we didn't shop for fun. And what a cheapskate I am.
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Post by empress of self-improvement on May 9, 2019 19:16:14 GMT -5
Not doing a damn thing. My mother is gone and DH's in a home with dementia. I did say something about taking him to see her but that would require him taking a shower which is a project in itself. Bleah. I'm just hoping it's not raining so I can work on my garden beds.
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Post by empress of self-improvement on May 9, 2019 19:18:05 GMT -5
Sushi usually brings me a dead spider. "So, are you going to eat that?" One of mine will eat my plants and the other will barf a hairball on a rug upstairs. Just another day for them.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 9, 2019 19:18:43 GMT -5
My sweet son who is in the middle east, remembered mom's day. He is working 7 days a week, figured that would be the last thing. Hope he got his wife some flowers too, she loves them much as me.
I had him give up on grandma, he would send them. Last time she threw a fit, she didn't want no damn flowers, time before they sat and died someplace. Hubs got mad, said I should have kept my mouth shut. I'm sure it costs him $60 or more dollars to send them, why waste the money? He said I was just trying to be nice, I know he was. That's the kind of grandmother he has, that is just sad.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on May 9, 2019 19:25:21 GMT -5
I'm so sorry moon/Laura. <HUGS> My Mom's last Mother's Day was 4 years ago, and the holiday just doesn't feel quite right. But, I have an awesome mother-in-law, so that's something.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 9, 2019 19:31:34 GMT -5
Sushi usually brings me a dead spider. "So, are you going to eat that?" One of mine will eat my plants and the other will barf a hairball on a rug upstairs. Just another day for them. Nice to see you. Been wondering how you are doing.
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Post by empress of self-improvement on May 9, 2019 19:36:18 GMT -5
One of mine will eat my plants and the other will barf a hairball on a rug upstairs. Just another day for them. Nice to see you. Been wondering how you are doing. Sorry. I know I've been MIA. New job has everything blocked and I changed my schedule a couple of times. But I'm here, if only in spirit.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on May 9, 2019 21:27:26 GMT -5
My sweet son who is in the middle east, remembered mom's day. He is working 7 days a week, figured that would be the last thing. Hope he got his wife some flowers too, she loves them much as me. I had him give up on grandma, he would send them. Last time she threw a fit, she didn't want no damn flowers, time before they sat and died someplace. Hubs got mad, said I should have kept my mouth shut. I'm sure it costs him $60 or more dollars to send them, why waste the money? He said I was just trying to be nice, I know he was. That's the kind of grandmother he has, that is just sad. Enjoy your flowers, Pat! My mom was in a nursing home for the last 3 years of her life following a debilitating stroke. She had Alzheimer's disease prior to that, so she was all over the place cognitively and emotionally after the stroke. She still enjoyed colorful flowers, though, so I got a selection of the brightest silk flowers I could find at Michael's and put them in a big glass vase (weighted with glass pebbles) where she could see them. For the first year, there wasn't a suitable single room available, so she had a roommate. Her roommate had the "mean" version of dementia and was quite a challenge. The roommate decided the flowers were hers and that they were real and needed water. With someone else, that might just have been amusing and easily handled with some gentle redirection, but she didn't respond to redirection or kindness or anything, really. She bullied one of the caregivers (who was not very bright) into putting water in the vase (even though it should have been obvious that the flowers were artificial). I just had to laugh, it was so ludicrous. I finally put a big sign on it saying the flowers were artificial and not to put water in the vase. We were glad when a suitable single room became available for Mom. Dementia is a cruel disease. It takes away the person you knew and leaves a stranger, someone who is scared because they don't know what is happening or angry and mean because they've lost control of life or just sad.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 9, 2019 22:55:28 GMT -5
She never liked flowers, nothing decorative so this isn't new.
In her house they redid it in the 70's I think, the same curtains and carpet were in it when we cleaned it out. She did not care. I don't know if it was because hubs dad mistreated her but no, I think it was just her. Her sister on the other hand always did pretty decorating and things. If you talked about making something nice her standard comment was, some people think they have to have the very best. I sure got that a lot. Hubs always wanted us to have a nice home so thankfully he didn't take after her in that respect.
I sure drew the lot. Mom's relatives had nothing to do with us. Dads did they were nice, but lived some distance. I never had normal grandparents or anything, dads died before I was born. My maternal grandma was nice but she had so many grandkids and raised 11 herself not much time for the youngest one. I went there several times, would had liked to go more but she got sick. So I grew up pretty much with no family and then ended up with hubs "loving bunch". Just the luck of the draw sometimes.
I tried to make it different for our son, my folks were very good to him and we are trying to do so for his much as we can. I think grandparents are very important to families.
All have happy moms days to you and yours or for you!!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 9, 2019 22:56:29 GMT -5
Sushi usually brings me a dead spider. "So, are you going to eat that?" One of mine will eat my plants and the other will barf a hairball on a rug upstairs. Just another day for them. They always barf on the rugs, don't they? Usually on the fringe, which is difficult to clean.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 10, 2019 8:57:23 GMT -5
We were going to do Chinese take out but that's been vetoed. The weather forecast for Sunday is not conducive to a cookout. I guess we have a plan now.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 10, 2019 9:11:16 GMT -5
My sweet son who is in the middle east, remembered mom's day. He is working 7 days a week, figured that would be the last thing. Hope he got his wife some flowers too, she loves them much as me. I had him give up on grandma, he would send them. Last time she threw a fit, she didn't want no damn flowers, time before they sat and died someplace. Hubs got mad, said I should have kept my mouth shut. I'm sure it costs him $60 or more dollars to send them, why waste the money? He said I was just trying to be nice, I know he was. That's the kind of grandmother he has, that is just sad. Enjoy your flowers, Pat! My mom was in a nursing home for the last 3 years of her life following a debilitating stroke. She had Alzheimer's disease prior to that, so she was all over the place cognitively and emotionally after the stroke. She still enjoyed colorful flowers, though, so I got a selection of the brightest silk flowers I could find at Michael's and put them in a big glass vase (weighted with glass pebbles) where she could see them. For the first year, there wasn't a suitable single room available, so she had a roommate. Her roommate had the "mean" version of dementia and was quite a challenge. The roommate decided the flowers were hers and that they were real and needed water. With someone else, that might just have been amusing and easily handled with some gentle redirection, but she didn't respond to redirection or kindness or anything, really. She bullied one of the caregivers (who was not very bright) into putting water in the vase (even though it should have been obvious that the flowers were artificial). I just had to laugh, it was so ludicrous. I finally put a big sign on it saying the flowers were artificial and not to put water in the vase. We were glad when a suitable single room became available for Mom. Dementia is a cruel disease. It takes away the person you knew and leaves a stranger, someone who is scared because they don't know what is happening or angry and mean because they've lost control of life or just sad. Your silk flowers: When my mom entered a nursing home facility, specifically a dementia/Alzheimer's section, we took my mom's engagement and wedding rings away from her due to the possibility of theft by others. Mom knew her rings were now gone and was upset. So I bought a couple of cubic zirconia rings for mom which looked like real diamond rings and gave them to her. Mom believed they were her actual rings and was in peace at least with the wedding rings issue.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on May 10, 2019 9:19:38 GMT -5
Great idea, Tennesseer. Unfortunately, at my Mom's nursing home, everything got stolen that wasn't nailed down. Literally. (At least Mom was smart enough to give me her rings when she had to move in there.) I'd even give her $1 for church offering (they had services at the home on Sundays), and I'll be darned if some of her $1 bills didn't get stolen. I'd give her one, and it'd disappear before Sunday. I don't get the mindset of people who think it's acceptable to steal from the elderly, but it sure makes me mad.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 10, 2019 11:13:56 GMT -5
I'm sorry Moon. And everyone else who's lost a Mom/parent.
I want steak and baked potatoes for Mother's Day so that's what we're having.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 10, 2019 13:12:55 GMT -5
I want steak and baked potatoes for Mother's Day so that's what we're having.
Yum. That sounds super good, actually.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 10, 2019 13:28:44 GMT -5
I want steak and baked potatoes for Mother's Day so that's what we're having.
Yum. That sounds super good, actually.
I'm a fairly basic eater, when all's said and done. My dad was a meat and potatoes guy so that's what I grew up eating.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 10, 2019 14:54:23 GMT -5
In 1987 we celebrated mothersday on April 19th (Easter) and the 7 of us all chipped in to buy a specific lounge chair for mom that could be used in the (humongous) kitchen. In May we celebrated mothersday again. Mom was proudly resting in that chair while we were all there.
The chair was used daily until two weeks before her death when she could no longer get out of her bed. She passed away, at age 60, in the middle of July that year. It took a long time to get to grips with her death, but I have always been grateful that we decided to throw tradition into the wind and have 2 mothersday celebrations that year. It allowed her to be in the center of all family activities for the little time she had left. I you mom, forever.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on May 10, 2019 14:57:48 GMT -5
I'm sorry Moon. And everyone else who's lost a Mom/parent.
I want steak and baked potatoes for Mother's Day so that's what we're having.
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Icelandic Woman
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Post by Icelandic Woman on May 10, 2019 15:28:47 GMT -5
I don't plan to celebrate it this year. My mother had a hemorrhagic stroke last Monday, and passed on Friday. She would have been 81 on May 11. 🙁 I am so sorry for your loss Moonie. My thoughts and love are with you and your family. You took very good care of her for a long time and now she is at peace.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 10, 2019 17:47:46 GMT -5
This is my least favorite holiday. Always has been (even as a kid).
I put on a smile and fake it the best I can, doing things I don't want to do, with people I'd rather not be with. I hate doing that.
I'd rather stay home, as well.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 10, 2019 17:50:42 GMT -5
I don't plan to celebrate it this year. My mother had a hemorrhagic stroke last Monday, and passed on Friday. She would have been 81 on May 11. 🙁 I'm so sorry. (((hugs♥)))
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 10, 2019 18:29:06 GMT -5
MIL and her sister are always saying stuff is being stolen, including her teeth, LOL! But it will turn up in one room or the other, they misplace stuff or hide it. I make sure I label the clothing so it doesn't get lost, that helped a lot.
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