Amazing scary baby step toward the future???

[Deleted]

DH and I went to visit a 55+ active senior apartment community today.  Yes, that's what I said.  I think this may be about 2 years out, and it will be a big change in so many ways.  My and DH's lives have been intimately and totally tied up in our community for the last 6+ years during my service on the civic association board and now as co-editor of our community magazine, and continue to be to this day, including the incessant social media attacks.  So we both feel that change is coming for many, many reasons.  A house, if properly maintained is a HUGE responsibility, and the burden of that falls on me.  Replace the rot board, check the A/C, add the compressor-saver kit to the A/C, get the plumber to clear the sink drain again, renew the insurance, schedule the termite inspection, pay the landscape crew, have the trees trimmed, mulch the flower beds, re-insulate the backflow preventer..……..  Courtesy of my Quicken obsession, I ran the numbers today and it costs us over $17,000 annually to live in and maintain our fully paid for home.  

Renting an apartment in the new community would cost, net, approximately $8,000-$10,000 more per year, well within our income without touching savings or investments. Not having to be 100% responsible for stuff would be priceless.  It would probably take a long time to get over waking up at night with a to-do list on my brain so I will have  to think long and hard on how to reinvent my life, and DH is doing that too.  I want to move TOWARD something rather than AWAY from something.  

It's really good to be able to share this part of my story with folks here.  Any and all comments and suggestions welcomed. 

[Tennesseer]

If you do move into 55+ senior community you will be gaining more free time to enjoy things which matter to both of you.

I would do it.

[Ava]

I would move away from a maintenance-intensive house.

Not jus because it becomes more difficult as we age, but also because it's a lot of WORK. 
You can use your time and energy on something more fulfilling than that.
As for moving to a senior community, I don't know if I would do it. For what I hear, there are lots of activities, but I don't think I'm cut out for that type of life.
If I were you, I would rent in such a community before making the commitment of buying there.

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Interesting POV!

I've always thought I would maintain the homestead ad infinitum, but am starting to think about more care-free alternatives as well.

Good luck with whatever way you go!

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2019 19:54:02 GMT -5 Ava said:

I would move away from a maintenance-intensive house.

Not jus because it becomes more difficult as we age, but also because it's a lot of WORK. 
You can use your time and energy on something more fulfilling than that.
As for moving to a senior community, I don't know if I would do it. For what I hear, there are lots of activities, but I don't think I'm cut out for that type of life.
If I were you, I would rent in such a community before making the commitment of buying there.

Yes, this is an apartment rental community so we would lose the maintenance aspect but also the possible home equity gain.  

[Deleted]

It's something I plan to do at some point; I'm 66 now but when I get to the point that I don't want to maintain my house anymore I plan to move closer to DS, who lives 3 hours away, and find different housing.  I don't know if it will be Independent Living, 55+ townhomes, buy or rent.  Unfortunately he lives north of here so it will be colder!  And yes, it will be weird.  I have a very full life here and would have to start over again, but DS is my only child and I don't want him or DDIL running back and forth to do things for Poor Old Mom.  

One caveat:  if you're a "get involved" person (and I am, too), you'll probably do the same wherever you go.   It's one way to build the new life and get to know people but maybe you have to restrain yourself a little- maybe even resign form some of the things that are causing you stress now.

[HoneyBBQ]

I've always wished my mother moved to a community like this where there might be more opportunities to be social.
So far she has resisted.
Seems like it's a good fit for you!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

My MIL moved from her 2800 sq ft home 8nto a 900 sq ft condo.  She did it deliberately, even though she had the money to maintain the house and as the house had been set up for her disabled husband (complete with elevator and h/c accessible bathroom).  Everything outside her condo is taken care of, and everything inside is new....so little repairs required.

Other than decreasing/streamlining her living, it forced her to downsize her possessions while SHE could make the decisions herself.  She also set herself up for car free living for the point where she needs to give up her driver’s license (which looks like is going to be sooner than later).  

When she did this, I was just a little disappointed (losing our free parking for YVR was part of it).  She no longer was the hub of the family, it it has worked out well for her.  Her condo has also appreciated about $200k since moving there 3 years ago.

[Deleted]

May 1, 2019 6:16:14 GMT -5 @donethat said:

Apr 30, 2019 19:54:02 GMT -5 Ava said:

I would move away from a maintenance-intensive house.

Not jus because it becomes more difficult as we age, but also because it's a lot of WORK. 
You can use your time and energy on something more fulfilling than that.
As for moving to a senior community, I don't know if I would do it. For what I hear, there are lots of activities, but I don't think I'm cut out for that type of life.
If I were you, I would rent in such a community before making the commitment of buying there.

Yes, this is an apartment rental community so we would lose the maintenance aspect but also the possible home equity gain.  

Or you could be missing out on a possible home equity loss.

I have lived in a townhome or apt since 17 so I haven't had to worry about any external maintenance and I farm out most internal, I'd much rather spend my time doing so many other things than maintaining a residence.  I understand some do enjoy that, to each their own.

[happyhoix]

I think it depends on the community.

My mom moved into a single level townhome in a senior adults' community that also contained a rehab facility, nursing home and dementia facility.

Mom was a border line hoarder so downsizing to fit her stuff from a 4 bedroom down to a single bedroom condo helped us significantly when she did pass - so much less stuff. it also allowed her to give special items to children/grandkids, so she could be sure everyone got what she wanted them to get. She did love living at the community, in that they always had talent shows, dances, senior proms, picnics, movie nights going on. Tons of bridge teams, red hat societies, book clubs.

The down side, however, was that she had to follow the community rules. When she had her stroke and couldn't live alone, we wanted to hire sitters and a house cleaner to come stay with her, but the community insisted she had to move to their rehab center ($10,000 per month) and then, when it became apparent she had dementia, to their dementia floor ($9000 per month, for a shared room). Mom was furiously angry that she couldn't stay in her condo, and blamed us (her kids) for it.  We ended up moving her closer to me and another daughter, for about half the monthly fee, and she was never happy after that, because she missed living independently in her own condo.

So I wouldn't move into that kind of community. However, DH and I are looking to downsize from a house with a 2 acre yard to a single level condo, at some point, (own, not rent) with plans to hire cleaning help/nursing help if one of us becomes disabled.

[weltschmerz]

Apr 30, 2019 18:49:31 GMT -5 @donethat said:

DH and I went to visit a 55+ active senior apartment community today.  Yes, that's what I said.  I think this may be about 2 years out, and it will be a big change in so many ways.  My and DH's lives have been intimately and totally tied up in our community for the last 6+ years during my service on the civic association board and now as co-editor of our community magazine, and continue to be to this day, including the incessant social media attacks.  So we both feel that change is coming for many, many reasons.  A house, if properly maintained is a HUGE responsibility, and the burden of that falls on me.  Replace the rot board, check the A/C, add the compressor-saver kit to the A/C, get the plumber to clear the sink drain again, renew the insurance, schedule the termite inspection, pay the landscape crew, have the trees trimmed, mulch the flower beds, re-insulate the backflow preventer..……..  Courtesy of my Quicken obsession, I ran the numbers today and it costs us over $17,000 annually to live in and maintain our fully paid for home.  

Renting an apartment in the new community would cost, net, approximately $8,000-$10,000 more per year, well within our income without touching savings or investments. Not having to be 100% responsible for stuff would be priceless.  It would probably take a long time to get over waking up at night with a to-do list on my brain so I will have  to think long and hard on how to reinvent my life, and DH is doing that too.  I want to move TOWARD something rather than AWAY from something.  

It's really good to be able to share this part of my story with folks here.  Any and all comments and suggestions welcomed. 

I'm well over 55 and looked into some senior communities. They looked like the recreation department at the nursing home where I worked. Nope, nope, nope. Not ready for that.

[Deleted]

Thank you all for great comments.  We spent a lot of time last night and today discussing the situation and have concluded again that the time is not yet upon us.  BUT it's really nice to know that this option is out there for us if we become tired of the daily grind of maintaining a property built in 1959.  It was really good to find a truly active community in the heart of the city which is huge for us because we absolutely love the city and its amenities.   It would be an adjustment for sure, but I'm happy to know that this interim step exists if we choose it.  

[resolution]

My parents did the in between thing, where they bought a house in an age restricted community, so it had all the amenities but they still had a lot more privacy than an apartment community. Their house has a small yard, so it is easier to maintain than their previous location, but they still have to do a lot of upkeep with it. 

[NoNamePerson]

May 2, 2019 8:41:55 GMT -5 resolution said:

My parents did the in between thing, where they bought a house in an age restricted community, so it had all the amenities but they still had a lot more privacy than an apartment community. Their house has a small yard, so it is easier to maintain than their previous location, but they still have to do a lot of upkeep with it. 

Have a friend and her husband did the same thing outside of Atlanta. She was younger but he qualified age wise so they bought. She said she thought she would not enjoy it since younger than most but she has come to love it. They are both very active outside of the community so living there doesn't mean you vegetate and dry up. Retirement is what you make it not something to dread

[Deleted]

May 2, 2019 8:41:55 GMT -5 resolution said:

My parents did the in between thing, where they bought a house in an age restricted community, so it had all the amenities but they still had a lot more privacy than an apartment community. Their house has a small yard, so it is easier to maintain than their previous location, but they still have to do a lot of upkeep with it. 

Unfortunately, in my area those age-restricted home communities are on the edge of town or just outside of town because the cost of land inside the city mandates building up, not out.  We did look at one south of here but it would have required a substantial mortgage which I don't like at my age, especially with an older DH, and, since I don't drive on freeways, it would have been very isolated from things I enjoy.

[Tiny]

I liked that you calculated up the cost of your paid for house.     About 10 years ago (while in my 40's)  I did something similar (back of an envelope calculation) and kind of revised what I envisioned my "retirement home" would be based on the time commitment and money commitment of a paid for house.   I currently have a small (by today's standards) SFH.   I could continue to maintain it during retirement - but it's a constant "to do list" of chores that are starting to take more and more time to do.         

I'm working towards a  "condo" or "townehouse" kind of arrangement for retirement.   I will let someone else deal with all the exterior stuff (as that seems to be my biggest time suck now.)   I can deal with the less frequent interior house issues.    The move to something like this is a minimum of 5 years more like closer to 10 years.    I also kind of like the idea of a 55+ community but then other days I don't.     

I like urban living and I suspect I will eventually land in a "university city/town" which would give me places to go, things to do, and people to see in retirement.     I'm the youngest (never married/no kids) with older siblings who are a lot older than me.   I suspect I will be outliving my immediate family and even my friends.      So, I'm going to have to make my own fun in retirement.     

[lynnerself]

May 1, 2019 11:06:07 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Other than decreasing/streamlining her living, it forced her to downsize her possessions while SHE could make the decisions herself. 

My MIL is 80+ and still living in the 3 bedroom family home. She has decided that it is easier to let her kids go thru all her possessions and clutter after she passes or is forced to move than to spend the energy (both physical and emotional) to do it herself.

[movingforward]

I am 46 and already feel like I am in my retirement home - LOL! I bought a condo about 2 years ago. It is close to just about everything (several restaurants, movie theaters, grocery store, home depot, you name it...). Landscaping is included in the HOA fee. I only have to insure the inside (or from bolts in, as they say). The HOA did a survey and the average age in my community is 54. There are quite a few people in their 70's living there due to the low maintenance. They seem very active. I see a lot of them when I go out walking. Some of them walk faster than I do!

There aren't many people there my age. Most are either older retired folks or they are younger people who bought a condo as their starter home. I absolutely love my condo so I am looking at it as my possible forever home. It is perfect for me - 1400 sq feet, all one level, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, attached garage, fenced in patio...

[thyme4change]

May 1, 2019 6:16:14 GMT -5 @donethat said:

Apr 30, 2019 19:54:02 GMT -5 Ava said:

I would move away from a maintenance-intensive house.

Not jus because it becomes more difficult as we age, but also because it's a lot of WORK. 
You can use your time and energy on something more fulfilling than that.
As for moving to a senior community, I don't know if I would do it. For what I hear, there are lots of activities, but I don't think I'm cut out for that type of life.
If I were you, I would rent in such a community before making the commitment of buying there.

Yes, this is an apartment rental community so we would lose the maintenance aspect but also the possible home equity gain.  

They can take the proceeds from the sale of their house and invest it, and likely get a bigger gain.

[giramomma]

May 3, 2019 10:59:02 GMT -5 movingforward said:

 I absolutely love my condo so I am looking at it as my possible forever home. It is perfect for me - 1400 sq feet, all one level, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, attached garage, fenced in patio...

This is what we were looking for in our house. Our house is only 1800 sq feet. Big enough for the 6 of us, but not so big when it's just DH and I (but I suspect we'll never quite get there).

Our house is also close to the grocery store and a bus line is few blocks away. It doesn't take but 10-15 minutes to get to a library, other grocery stores, stores that I'd go to for hobbies, etc.

The only negative is that our house is a two story...but I really don't like ranches.

[souldoubt]

My mom bought her current place about 6 years ago.  There's a large gated 55+ community nearby that is town houses that she mentioned looking into before she bought but didn't.  Now she's looking at needing to get out of her place because the bedrooms are upstairs and she's having issues with her legs.  Since she bought prices have gone up at least 40% and she's priced out of that community.  She will have to sell at some point and is talking about renting because she can bank the gain and let the landlord worry about repairs.  The community would have been great for her because of all the activities that they do and the people she would have met.  She does quite a bit but as she continues to age it would have been great for her because it's all in community.  I'm hoping she can find a nice rental somewhere in a community like that or where there's other seniors.  So I say go for it as you look towards the future.      

[Deleted]

Thank you all for sharing the variety of perspectives you and your families have experienced.  The community we toured, while lovely, is not where we need to be now.  It definitely showed us an amazing and attractive possibility for our future, if needed.  We live in a beloved yet somewhat gritty inner-city area in the midst of change that is being assaulted by would-be politicians seeking fame and fortune.  Local politics and/or a resultant change in community protections via deed restrictions aka covenants will probably determine our future path.  

Because of DH's hearing loss, we don't share many social activities.  Downside of the new place would be many more miles of dense urban traffic to reach our healthcare providers and other important resources like DH's golf course (forget about our museums!). The kitchen is small and all electric (I'm a cook by hobby and would have to ditch a lot of appliances and cookware), DH would have to store his golf clubs/shoes/etc. in the apartment, it's tough to haul groceries up flights of outdoor stairs and down long hallways.  We would definitely need to add a personal safe and interior security cameras (they offer alarm monitoring for an additional fee).  They have minimal exterior security-a gate guard at night but not during the daytime.  

Could we make this work and will we make it work if that day comes?  Oh, Hell, yes.  We actually feel a little relieved to know that an urban environment like this exists, as imperfect and challenging as it will be for us.