Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2019 16:59:36 GMT -5
This has been really informative and sort of confirms my feeling that my friend was projecting her second child experience (36 hours in labor and ended up with a c-section) on her daughter (I don't want her to have to go through labor with all that risk). Also, she is HIGHLY political and blames everything on ACA. She's also very, very upset because daughter's OB is a Russian woman which apparently translates to unqualified in her mind. She's already told daughter's husband and his mother to shut up and go away because they can't have a say in anything so this should be fun.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Apr 15, 2019 18:57:46 GMT -5
Why does everyone think a C section is awesome? Babies are MEANT to come out vaginally. A C section is a horrible invasive surgery that takes way longer to recover from. I hope she just lets that baby sit til it's due date and all is well. THANK YOU! I was NOT pleased to end up having an emergency C-section with DD3, all because my doctor didn't admit that other local doctors would do a version to turn a breech baby (as I'd had done with DD1), didn't recognize that DD3 had NOT turned, and then skipped off to her vacation when she couldn't induce me before leaving town. She couldn't perform surgery, so I got a completely unknown doctor, too. Since I was several weeks overdue, it was too late to even consider attempting a version. You better believe I did VBACs with my next 2 pregnancies. Recovering from the C-section was much worse than any normal delivery. There's also other risks - DD3 got cut while the surgeon was cutting me! Tiny little scar on her hip, but still!
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Apr 15, 2019 19:13:21 GMT -5
My sister had 4 c-sections. The first was an emergency because baby was breech. This was 40 years ago. She had no idea the baby was breech until she was in the delivery room.
The next two came on their planned c-section dates.
The fourth child didn't follow instructions. She had gotten pregnant against her doctor's advice. I think because it would be her 4th c-section. There was so much scar tissue that the baby's face got nicked. Both the doctor and mom felt really bad about it.
Her doctor did tell her that if she got pregnant again, she had to go to a specialist. Her babies were delivered in the days of family doctors delivering babies.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2019 19:45:04 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for sharing and clarifying. I don't doubt that ACA plans have their limitations and flaws like all insurance plans, and totally get a mother's love and concern for her daughter, but the whole "Obamacare won't pay for her C-section" and "her doctor is a Russian woman" thing set me off a bit. I sincerely wish the best for the mom and baby.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Apr 16, 2019 7:07:55 GMT -5
I did find my c-section easier to recover from then my vaginal birth. But I really have not noticed people thinking that c sections are better in my generation. If anything the opposite with people mommy shamming about having one. I had a few friends trying to convince me with ydd that I wanted a home birth. I really wanted a midwife and homebirth but just didn't know it.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Apr 16, 2019 7:19:57 GMT -5
I did find my c-section easier to recover from then my vaginal birth. But I really have not noticed people thinking that c sections are better in my generation. If anything the opposite with people mommy shamming about having one. I had a few friends trying to convince me with ydd that I wanted a home birth. I really wanted a midwife and homebirth but just didn't know it. Those people are the worst . Well, second worst. The absolute worst are the breastfeeding tyrants. For what it's worth, I've had a c-section followed by a natural (got to the hospital too late) VBAC. Both births were equally unpleasant but in different ways . I didn't find the c-section recovery particularly onerous, in fact it was much easier than anticipated. It is, however, major surgery and if I'd had a third child then my preference would have been for a vaginal delivery with epidural.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 16, 2019 7:26:25 GMT -5
I did find my c-section easier to recover from then my vaginal birth. But I really have not noticed people thinking that c sections are better in my generation. If anything the opposite with people mommy shamming about having one. I had a few friends trying to convince me with ydd that I wanted a home birth. I really wanted a midwife and homebirth but just didn't know it. Those people are the worst . Well, second worst. The absolute worst are the breastfeeding tyrants.
For what it's worth, I've had a c-section followed by a natural (got to the hospital too late) VBAC. Both births were equally unpleasant but in different ways . I didn't find the c-section recovery particularly onerous, in fact it was much easier than anticipated. It is, however, major surgery and if I'd had a third child then my preference would have been for a vaginal delivery with epidural. I feel sorry for young mothers today as they are practically publically shamed for not breast feeding. I'm surprised they aren't flogged in town square for daring to make a choice.
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trippypea
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Post by trippypea on Apr 16, 2019 8:30:32 GMT -5
My first baby came early and was delivered vaginally. Since she was only 35 wks, she was 5lb 12 oz. With the 2nd, I ended up with gestational diabetes in the last six weeks and I also had high blood pressure. The doctor scheduled me for induction a week early because they thought the baby was going to be around 8 lbs. I went in, was induced, and after 10 hours they decided they needed to do a C section because the baby wasn't coming down. She ended up being 9lbs 12oz! Her giant head couldn't pass a protruding bone in my pelvis, lol.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 16, 2019 9:20:02 GMT -5
I feel sorry for young mothers today as they are practically publically shamed for not breast feeding. I'm surprised they aren't flogged in town square for daring to make a choice. Moms are shamed for everything. You can't win if you are a parent.
Women would rather knock down other women and find fault with them then extend a little grace and dare I say offer to help. And I'm totally guilty of it too. Yesterday, I went to presentation that an internal candidate made for an open position in our department. Now, I don't like her, but she's earned that.
When she was extolling her virtues, I was absolutely knocking her down in my head.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2019 9:51:46 GMT -5
I feel sorry for young mothers today as they are practically publically shamed for not breast feeding. I'm surprised they aren't flogged in town square for daring to make a choice. Moms are shamed for everything. You can't win if you are a parent.
Women would rather knock down other women and find fault with them then extend a little grace and dare I say offer to help. And I'm totally guilty of it too. Yesterday, I went to presentation that an internal candidate made for an open position in our department. Now, I don't like her, but she's earned that.
When she was extolling her virtues, I was absolutely knocking her down in my head.
So true and social media has made it much worse. I am shocked that virtual strangers are quite willing to tell you how to live your life.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 16, 2019 10:08:49 GMT -5
Moms are shamed for everything. You can't win if you are a parent.
Women would rather knock down other women and find fault with them then extend a little grace and dare I say offer to help. And I'm totally guilty of it too. Yesterday, I went to presentation that an internal candidate made for an open position in our department. Now, I don't like her, but she's earned that.
When she was extolling her virtues, I was absolutely knocking her down in my head.
So true and social media has made it much worse. I am shocked that virtual strangers are quite willing to tell you how to live your life. I think most of the problem is social media. People still say stupid things, but I don't know how much that has gone up? Or if it has gone up, I'd say it's also gone up in relation to reading something stupid on social media. But in person most people are going to reel it in a bit and not intentionally try to hurt others. Put someone behind a keyboard and the vitriol comes out. I was buying baby shower gifts over the weekend and my friend registered for medela products, and I really loved bf'ing my kids so I'm happy to buy that stuff, and I really loved the medela brand. But they have this god awful "breast is best" tag on their stuff now which made me cringe. I bought their lanolin because nothing else compares, and something else she registered for from them, but then other brands of similar items.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Apr 16, 2019 11:35:34 GMT -5
Right. I've seen reddit and FB posts that I'm not a REAL mother because I had a C Section. I refuse to engage with the base stupidity that is being shown there.
I was an awesome breastfeeder, however. So I am lucky there. The tyrants could leave me alone about that one.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Apr 16, 2019 11:39:44 GMT -5
Right. I've seen reddit and FB posts that I'm not a REAL mother because I had a C Section. I refuse to engage with the base stupidity that is being shown there. I was an awesome breastfeeder, however. So I am lucky there. The tyrants could leave me alone about that one. I failed at breastfeeding twice. Between that and the c-section, I'm surprised DFACS hasn't shown up at my door . I'm joking but there really are women out there with those sort of attitudes.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Apr 16, 2019 14:08:45 GMT -5
Those people are the worst . Well, second worst. The absolute worst are the breastfeeding tyrants.
For what it's worth, I've had a c-section followed by a natural (got to the hospital too late) VBAC. Both births were equally unpleasant but in different ways . I didn't find the c-section recovery particularly onerous, in fact it was much easier than anticipated. It is, however, major surgery and if I'd had a third child then my preference would have been for a vaginal delivery with epidural. I feel sorry for young mothers today as they are practically publically shamed for not breast feeding. I'm surprised they aren't flogged in town square for daring to make a choice. One of those tried the shaming with my wife and it was not her day because I was there... Sorry that shit does not fly with me! Worst: we did not ask you, we did not want your opinion and we did not invite you to provide it; so stay in your freaking lane. Next was the lady that felt appropriate to try to lecture me when I was buying formula in Walmart. Yep again I am usually a nice person, when it comes to my family... all bets are off.
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chapeau
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Post by chapeau on Apr 16, 2019 18:18:17 GMT -5
Moms are shamed for everything. You can't win if you are a parent.
Women would rather knock down other women and find fault with them then extend a little grace and dare I say offer to help. And I'm totally guilty of it too. Yesterday, I went to presentation that an internal candidate made for an open position in our department. Now, I don't like her, but she's earned that.
When she was extolling her virtues, I was absolutely knocking her down in my head.
So true and social media has made it much worse. I am shocked that virtual strangers are quite willing to tell you how to live your life. Toward the end of my pregnancy, when I would have cheerfully murdered anyone I could catch, I wanted to make myself a t-shirt that said “yeah, thanks, I know I’m doing it wrong” on the front and “I don’t care!!” on the back. Still think it would make a great shower gift. Motherhood is as bad as being a losing pro quarterback in the “everyone thinks you’re screwing up” category.
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