I was sexist today... yet I was right!

[sheilaincali]

I am the majority owner and president of a highway heavy road construction company. Salespeople, vendors, union reps, etc. all assume that I'm the secretary. They'll ask "is the owner or manager available?" I tell them "that's me, what can I do for you?" and about 70% of the time they'll tell me they want to speak to who's "really" in charge. It's getting better slowly, a number of them still assume they can bully me into signing with them or buying their products. 

When I worked for my family's concrete company I once had a customer go down the list of our employees trying to find someone with a penis that could help him. All he needed to do was place an order for 8" regulars (CMUs). The phone call was: Is Joe there? No, sorry he's at lunch. What can I do for you Gary?... Is Raoul there? No, sorry he's off today, what can I do for you?.... Is your dad there? Nope..... Is Perry There?....  I finally just said "look Gary, I'm the only one here. Do you need to place an order for block delivery?"  He opted to call back in an hour rather than tell me he needed 14 cubes of 8" regulars delivered to the same address as we had delivered his last load. Literally would have taken him less than a minute to give me the order.  

All state and federal funded jobs have "goal" requirements. We are supposed to ensure that 11% of our payroll hours are paid to people of color (that's how it's worded) and 9% paid to women. We struggle every year to get female applicants. I have to write a letter of explanation as to what we are doing to further diversify our employee pool.  

This is the first time in 5 years that I've had a qualified female applicant. She starts on Monday.

[teen persuasion]

Libraries are another pink collar field.

When our director passed away unexpectedly, and the board of trustees had to search for a replacement quickly, I remember the previous director (retired, and now the board's VP) immediately discounting the one male applicant for the job. "Oh, we can't pay him enough, he'll use us as a stepping stone on his resume and move on after a year or two" she said to me. The thought process was obviously only women (make that married women, who have a husband with a better paying job with benefits to cover his family) can afford the low pay of library jobs with zero benefits. We women do it more for the good of the community, than personal benefits.

So the woman they selected for the job, S, was single! She struggled with the lack of health insurance. Just under 2 years later she gave 2 weeks notice for a similar position within our system that was much more convenient for her - near her aging parents and her STB DH!

So the board was again scrambling to find a director. But S had taken a fellow librarian-in-training under her wing early on, and encouraged her to join the board of directors. She'd convinced the board that a younger member would be good for diversity, and someone getting their MLIS would give the board better perspective on library issues. So the board immediately jumped to offer the director position to her when S bailed.

Wouldn't you know it, she received an offer of a full-time position at a much larger library the same week! Benefits, pension, good pay. All around a better offer except for title, and as a beginner, it looked pretty odd to jump right to director - any future job moves would be difficult to explain if she went backwards to any position other than top dog. She negotiated a bit higher pay, to compensate for lack of HI, and a promise to eventually get a retirement plan of some type. TBH, most of us never thought she'd take it, the other offer was really better long term. I suspect she also did it for the community aspect, to at least some degree. She is very invested in the local community thru extended family, more so than she'd be if she'd taken the city library job.

Still waiting on the retirement plan - newer board members are advocating for it, but it's SLOW getting it all approved. S made some advances toward better pay and professionalism for staff. New director is continuing. Retired director has quit the board. Things are changing, but s-l-o-w-l-y.

[NoNamePerson]

This thread reminds me of a sign that hung in building supply place. It was locally owned. It read:

Bricks are $100.00 more per thousand if you bring your husband back to approve your choice. I asked the salesman if I could get a discount of $100.00 per thousand since I was divorced, subbing out building my house and doing some of the work myself. We had a good laugh.

I wound up buying brick from my EX's uncle who also owned a building supply company!   They didn't even hold it against me that I was an EX 

[movingforward]

My neighbors are kind of sexist jerks. When I first moved in the wife kept asking me where my husband was and I kept saying I don't have one. It is just me...then she and her husband assumed I had some sort of sugar daddy or that my parents must have helped me buy the place because how on earth could little old me afford to buy a place all on my own...

One day they showed up at my door because they were "worried about me." They just wanted to make sure I was okay in my house all by my lonesome. They also had noticed some cars in my driveway the day before...I am standing there thinking uh, yes they were people I invited over. You, however, have not been invited yet here you are...

Just a couple of days ago I was talking to one of the landscapers about a tree that didn't quite make it (my home is still relatively new and so are some of the trees) and I was asking the landscaper if he could remove it sometime over the next couple of weeks. The male neighbor happened to walk outside and decided he needed to walk over and "help me out" because he was "worried about me." (Here we go with that worried about me crap again...) I responded with "what exactly are you worried about." He said "I just didn't know if you were comfortable talking to the landscaper all by yourself. You being a single woman and all." I responded with "I manage to run an entire organization as a single woman. I am pretty sure I can deal with asking a landscaper to remove a tree from my yard." I think it might have finally sunk in just how annoying I find he and his wife to be.

[NoNamePerson]

Apr 12, 2019 12:21:22 GMT -5 movingforward said:

My neighbors are kind of sexist jerks. When I first moved in the wife kept asking me where my husband was and I kept saying I don't have one. It is just me...then she and her husband assumed I had some sort of sugar daddy or that my parents must have helped me buy the place because how on earth could little old me afford to buy a place all on my own...

One day they showed up at my door because they were "worried about me." They just wanted to make sure I was okay in my house all by my lonesome. They also had noticed some cars in my driveway the day before...I am standing there thinking uh, yes they were people I invited over. You, however, have not been invited yet here you are...

Just a couple of days ago I was talking to one of the landscapers about a tree that didn't quite make it (my home is still relatively new and so are some of the trees) and I was asking the landscaper if he could remove it sometime over the next couple of weeks. The male neighbor happened to walk outside and decided he needed to walk over and "help me out" because he was "worried about me." (Here we go with that worried about me crap again...) I responded with "what exactly are you worried about." He said "I just didn't know if you were comfortable talking to the landscaper all by yourself. You being a single woman and all." I responded with "I manage to run an entire organization as a single woman. I am pretty sure I can deal with asking a landscaper to remove a tree from my yard." I think it might have finally sunk in just how annoying I find he and his wife to be.

Your neighbors are downright scary!!  Post regularly if you will so we know the "worried" neighbors haven't abducted you or something like that!!!

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Apr 11, 2019 17:52:09 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Apr 11, 2019 17:01:01 GMT -5 tractor said:

Linemen, I don’t know if I have ever met a female linemen. I hope they are out there, because we have such a shortage of skilled trades right now, we need all the help we can get.

They're out there.

I think our own Apple is a lineman or close to it.

[Deleted]

In 2016 and 2017, our civic association had four female officers.  This executive corps routinely dealt with homeowners, lawyers, engineers, contractors, etc., some of whom wanted to talk to a "man".  Our operations manager, one of our 1-2/3 employees, is male and had to tell more than a few fools to quit telling him their sob story because the only people with authority were women  .  I heard the other day that one of the fools got his wish about talking to a man 'cause he's been sued by the association's male attorney.  Ironically, all the judges before whom this case might come are women of color newly elected to the bench last fall.  With any luck, he'll try his sexist stuff in front of the judge and get a decision that will make his little head spin.  A little birdie told me they tried court-ordered mediation and he yelled at the female attorney conducting the mediation, "shut up little woman, I am talking" so she cancelled the mediation and reported back to the court that he was unwilling to make a good-faith attempt at mediation. 

[Malarky]

When I used to go to bakery conventions it was always assumed that I must be retail staff.  Back then I weighed 100 pounds and was (and still am) 5 feet tall.  I would be asked where the head baker for my company was.  Umm...that would be me.  And I'd be the one to spend money here if I were so inclined.  

I stopped going years ago.  They couldn't show me anything worth putting up with the crap.  

I also worked with a number of male bakers over the years who couldn't accept a young woman being in charge.  Laughs on them, I'm still here 35 years later.

[jelloshots4all]

Apr 11, 2019 18:42:08 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Apr 11, 2019 17:22:41 GMT -5 phil5185 said:

Pharmacists. 40 or 50 years ago, nearly all pharmacists were men. Today, way more than 50% are women. And an even higher % of pharmacist students are women.

You are right.  I remember wishing I had thought of pharmacy when my daughter became one.  I don't like blood so I would have made a terrible doctor or nurse.  But I probably would have liked pharmacy.  Despite being an English teacher, math and science were my strong points.  My first degree was actually a Bachelor of Science, which is pretty unheard of for someone who majored in English and Social Studies.  What can I say?  I like science.

All that said, Andy Griffith had a girlfriend who was a pharmacist.  I think her name was Miss Ellie.  His others were pretty traditional for that time period--a couple of nurses and a teacher.

I lived in a small town 40 years ago.  The pharmacist was married to another pharmacist.  They had two stores in two small neighboring towns.  Each of them was the pharmacist at one.  

I think of airline pilots as a male profession.  Either that or you guys are lousy drivers.  You never hear of female airline pilots in those horrible crashes!

Both of our pilots to and from Jamaica were female.  They did an amazing job!!