HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Mar 19, 2019 11:27:04 GMT -5
Selling house is not an option. Of course it is.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Mar 19, 2019 11:28:08 GMT -5
I guess I'm confused. Are you saying you want him to keep paying the mortgage after you're divorced? I think you'll have a hard time convincing a judge of that if your husband doesn't just agree to it, and he'd be crazy to. Normally the one leaving gets paid out for his/her portion of the equity at the time of the divorce and the one staying continues to pay it on their own. None of us can afford to buy out another one. But how is it fair that he doesn’t contribute but has all the money when it’s paid off? Specially when no one forcing him out. It’s his choice to move out. He can stay and pay his share. While you have sex with other men? Really?
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Mar 19, 2019 11:29:19 GMT -5
None of us can afford to buy out another one. But how is it fair that he doesn’t contribute but has all the money when it’s paid off? Specially when no one forcing him out. It’s his choice to move out. He can stay and pay his share. While you have sex with other men? Really? Or alternatively, how is it fair that he no longer will live there and you're going to keep his equity tied up in a house you're living in instead of giving him his money?
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Regis
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Post by Regis on Mar 19, 2019 11:31:58 GMT -5
"He's clearly capable of some decision-making, because he decided to move out You might not want to refinance a 2% mortgage...the point is that 1 of 2 things seems likely to happen here:
1. You go on with his name on the title and mortgage, and he gets 50% when you sell it later which is not what you want.
2. You guys figure this out now, which is more likely to end up with you being forced to sell or refinance the house."
Let's look at this from your soon-to-be ex-husband's point of view. He doesn't want the house and has said you can have it all. If I'm him, I'm going to quit-claim the house to you (typical of divorce situations) as I don't have, nor do I want, any control over any of the upkeep, maintenance, etc.
Once he quit-claims the house to you, why on earth would he ever want to remain fiscally responsible by staying on the mortgage? I'm thinking he's going to demand that you to get him off the mortgage as well, right? When that happens, you're going to be completely responsible for the financial obligations of the house. Do you currently have the income required to be approved for a new mortgage? If so, you alone are going to have to finance the house. If you can't get approved for a new mortgage, you'll be forced to sell unless you've got a big pile of cash hiding somewhere.
Agreed with everyone else on here. Get the details worked out now or your bright idea of saving money by having the clerk do all the paperwork is gonna bite you hard in the end and some attorney down the road is going to be very happy getting rich off your lack of foresight.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Mar 19, 2019 11:33:14 GMT -5
Do you have any other assets you can use to buy him out? Retirement accounts that are being split, etc?
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Mar 19, 2019 11:40:11 GMT -5
"He's clearly capable of some decision-making, because he decided to move out You might not want to refinance a 2% mortgage...the point is that 1 of 2 things seems likely to happen here: 1. You go on with his name on the title and mortgage, and he gets 50% when you sell it later which is not what you want. 2. You guys figure this out now, which is more likely to end up with you being forced to sell or refinance the house."Let's look at this from your soon-to-be ex-husband's point of view. He doesn't want the house and has said you can have it all. If I'm him, I'm going to quit-claim the house to you (typical of divorce situations) as I don't have, nor do I want, any control over any of the upkeep, maintenance, etc. Once he quit-claims the house to you, why on earth would he ever want to remain fiscally responsible by staying on the mortgage? I'm thinking he's going to demand that you to get him off the mortgage as well, right? When that happens, you're going to be completely responsible for the financial obligations of the house. Do you currently have the income required to be approved for a new mortgage? If so, you alone are going to have to finance the house. If you can't get approved for a new mortgage, you'll be forced to sell unless you've got a big pile of cash hiding somewhere. Agreed with everyone else on here. Get the details worked out now or your bright idea of saving money by having the clerk do all the paperwork is gonna bite you hard in the end and some attorney down the road is going to be very happy getting rich off your lack of foresight. Just so we're clear, I don't think he said that. I don't see any indication in these posts that he's going to "give" her the house, equity and all. If you're him, are you going to walk away from $190k in equity and just quit-claim the house to your ex when you probably have no money at all other than the equity?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 19, 2019 12:08:01 GMT -5
Why even get divorced then? There's no way in hell I'd live with my ex, especially if we couldn't stand each other. Your soon to be ex wanting to move out and start his life over without you is perfectly normal and healthy. I am fine with him moving out but if he doesn’t conrribute to a mortgage it means he can’t have equity past $130k. On the flipside, you are tying up his capital that he could use to invest with no benefit of home ownership. If I were him, I would either force the sale of the house or make you pay me fair-market rent.
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 19, 2019 12:12:28 GMT -5
Why would I refinance 2% mortgage? And NO! If my husband was capable of ANY decision making I wouldn’t be divorcing him and NO he doesn’t have people telling him nothing because he is too lazy to communicate with people. I am seriously having a problem with NOT taking advantage of him! Example. We were renting out a room for years! He was so not involved in shit that He told me this morning that I need to get at least 2 month in advance...I look at him and said...I...KNOW...and he was like oh! Last crack up! Just called me to ask what are those things in McD that I am buying which are breakfast burritos...and I had to text it to him. Also he wants his life insurance papers. He will have to find them himself! It’s right under his nose. Been there for ages! So you think someone will tell him ANYTHING? Really? I can NOW made up a document for him to sell his organs to third world countries and he will sign it. Because it’s easier than to read what is that he is signing. Oy vey people...lmao He is lucky I am not totally evil bitch! He's moving out on just an SSDI check (which you say is impossible) and refusing to help you with the mortgage anymore. Sounds like he's not quite the lazy pushover that you make him out to be. No! He has side income. And gf pays half of everything.
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 19, 2019 12:13:37 GMT -5
None of us can afford to buy out another one. But how is it fair that he doesn’t contribute but has all the money when it’s paid off? Specially when no one forcing him out. It’s his choice to move out. He can stay and pay his share. While you have sex with other men? Really? Really! I am having sexual with another man at his place and he is having sex with his gf in our house!
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 19, 2019 12:13:55 GMT -5
None of us can afford to buy out another one. But how is it fair that he doesn’t contribute but has all the money when it’s paid off? Specially when no one forcing him out. It’s his choice to move out. He can stay and pay his share. While you have sex with other men? Really? Really! I am having sexual with another man at his place and he is having sex with his gf in our house!
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 19, 2019 12:15:45 GMT -5
Selling house is not an option. Of course it is. I mean not an option for me because I don’t want to!
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 19, 2019 12:17:04 GMT -5
So it sucks to be rich? Lol Well try your township. There is no application. Just giving your name and put in a list. I am 100% certain I would not qualify for house repair assistance. But, I don't consider that a bad thing. Township loans you don’t have to qualify for. I just called and they put my name and address in the list.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 19, 2019 12:32:38 GMT -5
I mean not an option for me because I don’t want to! That is not what "not an option" means.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2019 12:38:45 GMT -5
The judge could very well consider it a perfectly reasonable option and order it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 19, 2019 12:39:55 GMT -5
The judge could very well consider it a perfectly reasonable option and order it. . Loony, you need to figure out what your divorce decree says before it's final. You may have just fucked yourself over.
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Regis
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Post by Regis on Mar 19, 2019 14:37:38 GMT -5
"He's clearly capable of some decision-making, because he decided to move out You might not want to refinance a 2% mortgage...the point is that 1 of 2 things seems likely to happen here: 1. You go on with his name on the title and mortgage, and he gets 50% when you sell it later which is not what you want. 2. You guys figure this out now, which is more likely to end up with you being forced to sell or refinance the house."Let's look at this from your soon-to-be ex-husband's point of view. He doesn't want the house and has said you can have it all. If I'm him, I'm going to quit-claim the house to you (typical of divorce situations) as I don't have, nor do I want, any control over any of the upkeep, maintenance, etc. Once he quit-claims the house to you, why on earth would he ever want to remain fiscally responsible by staying on the mortgage? I'm thinking he's going to demand that you to get him off the mortgage as well, right? When that happens, you're going to be completely responsible for the financial obligations of the house. Do you currently have the income required to be approved for a new mortgage? If so, you alone are going to have to finance the house. If you can't get approved for a new mortgage, you'll be forced to sell unless you've got a big pile of cash hiding somewhere. Agreed with everyone else on here. Get the details worked out now or your bright idea of saving money by having the clerk do all the paperwork is gonna bite you hard in the end and some attorney down the road is going to be very happy getting rich off your lack of foresight. Just so we're clear, I don't think he said that. I don't see any indication in these posts that he's going to "give" her the house, equity and all. If you're him, are you going to walk away from $190k in equity and just quit-claim the house to your ex when you probably have no money at all other than the equity? Not what I intended to mean. Quit-claim doesn't mean that there is no money exchanging hands.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Mar 19, 2019 14:57:18 GMT -5
Just so we're clear, I don't think he said that. I don't see any indication in these posts that he's going to "give" her the house, equity and all. If you're him, are you going to walk away from $190k in equity and just quit-claim the house to your ex when you probably have no money at all other than the equity? Not what I intended to mean. Quit-claim doesn't mean that there is no money exchanging hands. She doesn't have the money to give him though, and getting his name off the mortgage means refinancing in her name and losing her super low rate. That's going to be her problem with getting it sorted out now. She essentially wants all the benefits to her of sorting things out now (freezing his level of equity), with none of the downsides of it (having to sell the house, or refinance, or actually pay him his equity). I agree with you, definitely from his perspective he'd almost certainly want to wash his hands of ALL of it. That just leads to undesirable outcomes for her. So while I certainly wouldn't want this stuff unresolved, she's also likely looking at some negative consequences to getting it sorted out given her current goals.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2019 15:02:38 GMT -5
Of course, he could be just as clueless and apathetic about the process as she is and never pushes for anything during the divorce.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Mar 19, 2019 16:28:27 GMT -5
She doesn't have the money to give him though, and getting his name off the mortgage means refinancing in her name and losing her super low rate. That's assuming she can even refinance, which I really doubt given her current income and credit score.
Loony, filing for a cheap divorce on your own with ZERO clue as to what you are REALLY doing is NOT saving money. It's not rocket science. Either you have to refinance and buy your ex out (ie you pay him half the value of the house TODAY), or you have to sell the house to give him his due (also TODAY or SOON). Or maybe he really has agreed to let you live in that house for however long you like, and pay him later, because he can afford it. But somehow I really doubt that. Also, LETTING you live in the house does NOT mean paying half the mortgage, as you seem to think!
Like it or not, you both lived there for many years, so your ex is due half of whatever equity you have TODAY.
Good luck with that, doing it all yourself. You're setting yourself up for a million problems going forward. You needed a lawyer a LONG time ago, but you're still extremely stubborn.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 19, 2019 16:58:37 GMT -5
When my friends divorced, it was about 2008, during the time housing prices were dropping like crazy. Wife was my friend and she was still living in the house but decree said she either had to refinance or sell and give him 1/2 the equity. However, it did not specify a date.
She found it she couldn't refi and didn't want to sell because of the loss they would take. She sat on it, not even listing it. Husband had moved out of state. He finally hired an attorney and she had to put the house on the market. She tried to sabotage the sale by not keeping house in show condition.
Husband's attorney told her she had to accept the first offer. It was very low, so she got the place in better shape to show it and got a much better offer. It sold at a loss, but it sold. She was heartbroken to lose the house but could not buy him out.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 19, 2019 17:15:27 GMT -5
When my friends divorced, it was about 2008, during the time housing prices were dropping like crazy. Wife was my friend and she was still living in the house but decree said she either had to refinance or sell and give him 1/2 the equity. However, it did not specify a date. She found it she couldn't refi and didn't want to sell because of the loss they would take. She sat on it, not even listing it. Husband had moved out of state. He finally hired an attorney and she had to put the house on the market. She tried to sabotage the sale by not keeping house in show condition. Husband's attorney told her she had to accept the first offer. It was very low, so she got the place in better shape to show it and got a much better offer. It sold at a loss, but it sold. She was heartbroken to lose the house but could not buy him out. If it sold at a loss how was there equity for the husband to get? Is it that it dropped that much between divorce saying she owes him X vs when it sold?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 19, 2019 18:06:39 GMT -5
They had made a substantial down payment so there was some cash when it sold. Not as much as either party would have liked because of the decrease in value.
I never saw the paperwork and only heard her side.
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cottontail
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Post by cottontail on Mar 19, 2019 19:34:30 GMT -5
I'm curious how you got a 2% interest loan. Is it interest only?
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Mar 20, 2019 8:44:51 GMT -5
This thread should be titled "How not to do a divorce."
But maybe that will be the sequel.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 20, 2019 9:06:09 GMT -5
I'm curious how you got a 2% interest loan. Is it interest only? I'm guessing it was just good timing on their part. We dillydallied about deciding to refi. If we'd done it 6 months earlier, we'd have been under 3% on ours. Or if we'd have been a more conventional loan. We wanted a 10 year loan for around $50K; with some cash out to pay off our land loan. Banks prefer longer terms and higher amounts apparently.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2019 9:21:00 GMT -5
I'm not seeing where 30 year conventional loans ever fell below 3%.
I'm thinking she got into some kind of government loan modification program.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Mar 20, 2019 9:47:23 GMT -5
I think she said it was something similar to HARP.
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 20, 2019 10:41:53 GMT -5
I mean not an option for me because I don’t want to! That is not what "not an option" means. Yes it IS! For ME it’s NOT an option.
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tloony
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Post by tloony on Mar 20, 2019 10:44:34 GMT -5
The judge could very well consider it a perfectly reasonable option and order it. . Loony, you need to figure out what your divorce decree says before it's final. You may have just fucked yourself over. How can I find out before I have it?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 20, 2019 10:46:11 GMT -5
You have a copy of what you filed, correct? What does it say?
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