Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 9, 2019 15:42:58 GMT -5
Right. I love motorcycles. I don't think that makes me not sensible. I also love big dogs. I would gladly date a guy who had both. I don't hunt, but I would date a guy who did. Just as long as he didn't try to make me go with him. You are right. My post came off as judgmental and in this case I really didn’t mean to be. I had a cousin who died on a motorcycle when I was only 13. I am absolutely petrified of them. That is not something I will get over and because it is a true fear, it is a deal breaker for me. I would be petrified every time my husband left to go for a ride. I’m sure it is an irrational fear but it’s mine.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 9, 2019 16:43:31 GMT -5
Right. I love motorcycles. I don't think that makes me not sensible. I also love big dogs. I would gladly date a guy who had both. I don't hunt, but I would date a guy who did. Just as long as he didn't try to make me go with him. You are right. My post came off as judgmental and in this case I really didn’t mean to be. I had a cousin who died on a motorcycle when I was only 13. I am absolutely petrified of them. That is not something I will get over and because it is a true fear, it is a deal breaker for me. I would be petrified every time my husband left to go for a ride. I’m sure it is an irrational fear but it’s mine. I get it. Thing 1 got pretty hurt on one a couple of years ago. We have both been on them since though. You definitely have to be or ride with an experienced rider. It's not something that you ride with just anybody.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Mar 9, 2019 17:17:17 GMT -5
Oh I am having fun vicariously living through A and her online dating. She is pretty much straight up honest with them that she isn't looking for anything serious and she isn't going to commit to just one. I have just started giving them all nicknames to keep them straight. There are some that are just 2 am booty calls mostly, she goes to their place unless we are out with the girls, since the basement is not sound proof enough for them to come here. We learned that one the hard way. Others she does do the whole dinner/event thing with. Typically they last a few weeks before they start the lets be exclusive talk and then she shuts them down.
If something happen with DH, I think I would like someone to have Thai food with, but that is all. I don't think I could keep 3 or 4 on rotation like her, but I am impressed.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Mar 9, 2019 17:44:21 GMT -5
Oh I am having fun vicariously living through A and her online dating. She is pretty much straight up honest with them that she isn't looking for anything serious and she isn't going to commit to just one. I have just started giving them all nicknames to keep them straight. There are some that are just 2 am booty calls mostly, she goes to their place unless we are out with the girls, since the basement is not sound proof enough for them to come here. We learned that one the hard way. Others she does do the whole dinner/event thing with. Typically they last a few weeks before they start the lets be exclusive talk and then she shuts them down. If something happen with DH, I think I would like someone to have Thai food with, but that is all. I don't think I could keep 3 or 4 on rotation like her, but I am impressed. I take a lover from time to time, but this last one.......! Sheesh! I already dumped him twice because he becomes too needy and clingy. He's a very nice man, don't get me wrong, but just because we're sleeping together doesn't mean you get to inject yourself in every minute of my life.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Mar 9, 2019 18:09:14 GMT -5
Hats off to you all, I don't think I'll ever date again. And I don't regard it as a "shame". I'm not willing to waste the time potentially just developing a large cache of amusing anecdotes. I won't say never, but I'm meh enough to not bother.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 9, 2019 18:56:11 GMT -5
You are right. My post came off as judgmental and in this case I really didn’t mean to be. I had a cousin who died on a motorcycle when I was only 13. I am absolutely petrified of them. That is not something I will get over and because it is a true fear, it is a deal breaker for me. I would be petrified every time my husband left to go for a ride. I’m sure it is an irrational fear but it’s mine. I get it. Thing 1 got pretty hurt on one a couple of years ago. We have both been on them since though. You definitely have to be or ride with an experienced rider. It's not something that you ride with just anybody. In my cousins case, he was riding along and an old woman pulled right out in front of him. He didn’t stand a chance :-( I think I would have dropped dead of a heart attack if I got a call that my daughter was in a motorcycle accident. Luckily I think I have scared her enough that she hopefully won’t get on one!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 10, 2019 1:13:32 GMT -5
She must have had some interest in the guy or she wouldn't have gone to eat with him. Some of those old guys think they are a real catch. I’m assuming he had money or she wouldn’t have given him the time of day. Her pretending interest in his conversation about himself was painful to observe.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 10, 2019 1:15:09 GMT -5
Oh I am having fun vicariously living through A and her online dating. She is pretty much straight up honest with them that she isn't looking for anything serious and she isn't going to commit to just one. I have just started giving them all nicknames to keep them straight. There are some that are just 2 am booty calls mostly, she goes to their place unless we are out with the girls, since the basement is not sound proof enough for them to come here. We learned that one the hard way. Others she does do the whole dinner/event thing with. Typically they last a few weeks before they start the lets be exclusive talk and then she shuts them down. If something happen with DH, I think I would like someone to have Thai food with, but that is all. I don't think I could keep 3 or 4 on rotation like her, but I am impressed. I take a lover from time to time, but this last one.......! Sheesh! I already dumped him twice because he becomes too needy and clingy. He's a very nice man, don't get me wrong, but just because we're sleeping together doesn't mean you get to inject yourself in every minute of my life. 😏
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sesfw
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life
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Post by sesfw on Mar 10, 2019 14:05:08 GMT -5
About 18 months after DH#1 died a guy started talking to me in K-Mart. He was in the area on vacation and was leaving to go back home the next day. I think he was from an upper mid-west state, can't remember. He was looking for a skirt because about a half hour into the conversation he said he and his wife had an 'open' marriage, and he wished he had met me at the beginning of his time in the area.
I excused myself in a hurry.
I found out the creeps come out of the woodwork when you are widowed ………. looking for a purse or nurse. Wanting to help with 'physical' needs. Y, S, R
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Mar 10, 2019 15:46:41 GMT -5
Usually I can figure this stuff out, but "Y, S, R"?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 10, 2019 17:31:02 GMT -5
Yeah, sure, right?
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sesfw
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Today is the first day of the rest of my life
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Post by sesfw on Mar 10, 2019 22:19:20 GMT -5
Yup
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2019 10:26:10 GMT -5
I found out the creeps come out of the woodwork when you are widowed ………. looking for a purse or nurse. Wanting to help with 'physical' needs. Y, S, R When I changed my FB status to Single (I figured "Widowed" would really make me a target) I started to get Friend requests from guys who were very nice-looking, had just put up a profile and had no other Friends. I just deleted one yesterday. I did a Google Image search on a guy in a military uniform and found a newspaper article on him- Canadian military, serving in the Middle East, same name. I suspect he had no idea he had a FaceBook profile. That's called "catfishing"- not sure why. Two red flags on many scammers: they're widowed (to encourage sympathy) and they're not based in the US.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Mar 11, 2019 11:13:45 GMT -5
I found out the creeps come out of the woodwork when you are widowed ………. looking for a purse or nurse. Wanting to help with 'physical' needs. Y, S, R When I changed my FB status to Single (I figured "Widowed" would really make me a target) I started to get Friend requests from guys who were very nice-looking, had just put up a profile and had no other Friends. I just deleted one yesterday. I did a Google Image search on a guy in a military uniform and found a newspaper article on him- Canadian military, serving in the Middle East, same name. I suspect he had no idea he had a FaceBook profile. That's called "catfishing"- not sure why. Two red flags on many scammers: they're widowed (to encourage sympathy) and they're not based in the US. www.digitaltrends.com/web/its-catfishing-season-how-to-tell-lovers-from-liars-online-and-more/Relevant excerpt: Toward the end of Catfish the documentary, the movie’s protagonist Nev Schulman coins the term after talking to his personal catfish’s husband, who used to be a fisherman. “They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They’d keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank god for the catfish because we would be droll, boring and dull if we didn’t have somebody nipping at our fin.”
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 11, 2019 11:18:27 GMT -5
I get weird people following me on Instagram. I have no problem blocking the accounts of lottery winners or half naked men or women. I do the same on FB.
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jitterbug
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Post by jitterbug on Mar 11, 2019 15:07:21 GMT -5
Here's the issue I'm having:
Met this guy for a drink a couple weeks ago. Nice, but no chemistry. I did the grown-up thing and told him I wasn't interested in going out again. He messages me the other day, and I thought well maybe I wasn't giving him a real chance, so I agreed to go out again. We make out a bit. Nope, no chemistry for sure. How do I tell him I'm not interested? AGAIN?? I should have trusted my instincts the first time. I haven't dated much in my life - met my first husband when I was 17. So when I started dating again after he died, I thought you needed chemistry right from the get-go to take it to the next date. Even if he's a nice guy! So the first guy I had a date with, it was fine, but no chemistry - so I told him that. That was our first and only date. Sometime later, he goes on a first date with a friend of a friend and tells her "whatever you do, please don't tell me there's no chemistry!" She doesn't, as she had an okay time. But - he never calls her again! So which is meaner - telling someone you have no chemistry or just never calling again LOL.
Two guys later, I have a date with a nice guy. No sparks on the first date - but I'd learned that you don't have to have sparks to just go out and have a nice time. So I didn't blow him off - and we had a second date, then a third...and are now married! He's still a nice guy!
However, I must really be old-fashioned (I'm 58) - because if I was single again, I'm expected to put out by Date #3? DEFINITELY only if there's sparks!!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 11, 2019 15:15:42 GMT -5
I used to wear my Eeyore bikini underwear on 3rd dates. If I wasn't comfortable showing them to you; my pants/skirts/hose wouldn't come off.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Mar 11, 2019 16:38:40 GMT -5
I found out the creeps come out of the woodwork when you are widowed ………. looking for a purse or nurse. Wanting to help with 'physical' needs. Y, S, R When I changed my FB status to Single (I figured "Widowed" would really make me a target) I started to get Friend requests from guys who were very nice-looking, had just put up a profile and had no other Friends. I just deleted one yesterday. I did a Google Image search on a guy in a military uniform and found a newspaper article on him- Canadian military, serving in the Middle East, same name. I suspect he had no idea he had a FaceBook profile. That's called "catfishing"- not sure why. Two red flags on many scammers: they're widowed (to encourage sympathy) and they're not based in the US. I don't have a relationship status on my FB and I get those requests all the time. It took me a while to figure out, I thought they belonged to groups I was in or something. I rejected them. If I don't know you I don't friend you.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 11, 2019 16:42:04 GMT -5
Lol - you know you ladies can just lock down your Facebook profile so you don't get any randos right? You can barely find me if you're looking for me on there - a couple times I've had to temporarily lift my privacy to be found by a new friend.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Mar 11, 2019 16:57:06 GMT -5
I'm pretty locked down and I still get requests from the random guys. I delete them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 11, 2019 17:09:31 GMT -5
However, I must really be old-fashioned (I'm 58) - because if I was single again, I'm expected to put out by Date #3 ? DEFINITELY only if there's sparks! The heck with expectations- it's whatever makes you comfortable. Once I broached The Topic, his response was, "I'm ready when you're ready". And there was no pressure to hurry it up. That's when I knew it was a relationship worth pursuing.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 11, 2019 17:54:06 GMT -5
You can put only friends of friends may contact me
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Mar 11, 2019 21:05:00 GMT -5
Lol - you know you ladies can just lock down your Facebook profile so you don't get any randos right? You can barely find me if you're looking for me on there - a couple times I've had to temporarily lift my privacy to be found by a new friend. I don't want to get too locked down. I like it when old friends and distant family members find me. It's not that big a deal to decline these guys.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 11, 2019 21:37:01 GMT -5
Lol - you know you ladies can just lock down your Facebook profile so you don't get any randos right? You can barely find me if you're looking for me on there - a couple times I've had to temporarily lift my privacy to be found by a new friend. I don't want to get too locked down. I like it when old friends and distant family members find me. It's not that big a deal to decline these guys. Distant family just has to find someone else in my family first. As for old friends... any high school friends I cared about added me when I was in college - so that's why I didn't think of that! Lol
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Lizard Queen
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103/2024
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 11, 2019 22:16:04 GMT -5
Hmm, i thought I had my profile locked down, but I just got a friend request from some squiggly lines name, and a pic of a gray haired business man in a suit.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 15, 2019 22:00:38 GMT -5
okay so on Monday night I'm finally meeting the guy I've been talking to for a few weeks. We were on the phone for 4 hours last night just talking about random stuff! Guys, he's smart and funny and cute and a dad that adores his little girl. We are planning to FaceTime before Monday so we're both extra sure of what we're getting beforehand... we seem to have a crazy amount of chemistry in our conversations and I know I would be extremely disappointed if he was somehow misrepresenting himself.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 15, 2019 22:07:56 GMT -5
okay so on Monday night I'm finally meeting the guy I've been talking to for a few weeks. We were on the phone for 4 hours last night just talking about random stuff! Guys, he's smart and funny and cute and a dad that adores his little girl. We are planning to FaceTime before Monday so we're both extra sure of what we're getting beforehand... we seem to have a crazy amount of chemistry in our conversations and I know I would be extremely disappointed if he was somehow misrepresenting himself. Hopefully it's good. This the guy you've had scheduling issues with?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 15, 2019 22:34:56 GMT -5
okay so on Monday night I'm finally meeting the guy I've been talking to for a few weeks. We were on the phone for 4 hours last night just talking about random stuff! Guys, he's smart and funny and cute and a dad that adores his little girl. We are planning to FaceTime before Monday so we're both extra sure of what we're getting beforehand... we seem to have a crazy amount of chemistry in our conversations and I know I would be extremely disappointed if he was somehow misrepresenting himself. Hopefully it's good. This the guy you've had scheduling issues with? yeah - his custody schedule is 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. He's out with friends all weekend for St. Patty's (he's hardcore Irish) so we're meeting Monday after work. We were already talking about next Saturday but figured we'd discuss that Monday if all went well. It seems to be going extremely well so far and we've both acknowledged that... it would be Classic Jen for this to turn out to actually be a disaster, so hopefully the love gods are finally sick of punishing me.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 15, 2019 22:40:23 GMT -5
Hopefully it's good. This the guy you've had scheduling issues with? yeah - his custody schedule is 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. He's out with friends all weekend for St. Patty's (he's hardcore Irish) so we're meeting Monday after work. We were already talking about next Saturday but figured we'd discuss that Monday if all went well. It seems to be going extremely well so far and we've both acknowledged that... it would be Classic Jen for this to turn out to actually be a disaster, so hopefully the love gods are finally sick of punishing me. Lol! Yea I always scream and roll my eyes at a friend who talks to a dude for weeks before meeting and then is all broken up when he ghosts. But they don't have kids to contend with.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 16, 2019 16:09:24 GMT -5
we just got finished FaceTime-ing. He is acceptable!!!! Both of us were pretty smiley. And now I'm scared that this might actually become something.
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