cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Feb 4, 2019 0:32:47 GMT -5
I told them i plan to leave them money because i want them to know how to invest. I started gifting them money and told them it is tuition to the school of hard knocks. I will give them more each year so if i leave them money they are ready. I am saving 1 million for my old age, with my ss and selling a house i could afford the best nursing home for more than a decade. But they should each have a few hundred thousand so if i spend all mine they are fine. They are 45 and 48 now so 20 years for them to save. They are funding 401k themselves.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Feb 4, 2019 1:40:22 GMT -5
I read the other day plan on $300,000 for medical expenses and care in your retirement. I was telling hubs the other day if our ins keeps increasing every year $30 each per month x say 20 more years, its going to eat up a lot. It's probably going to go up more then that as we age. I think that will be our biggest expense is medical, that doesn't even factor in price of meds. If something happens to hubs I'm downsizing. Hope I can sell this place and get enough to get DD and I a nice home closer to some town somewhere. If me first hubs had talked about selling out and giving most to son and living in a big travel trailer. I told him that was nonsense, I expect him to move into his folks house, its small enough and nice and has a big garage. Things will change a lot for both of us. I will never remarry. I might be surprised but I doubt he will marry either. He will likely continue caring for DD long as he can. I pray son will stay alive to raise grandson. If something happens to him, I will set up their inheritance in a trust with DIL to get some but the rest for grandson at 25, 30, and the balance at 35 or something like that. Sadly I think if all were left to DIL she will blow it in short order. Maybe not, we would have time to see I think. I'm sure she will remarry her sister has 3 times.
So silly to plan sometimes, you never know what can happen, the best laid plans as they say. Just plan and hope it works out.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Feb 4, 2019 8:53:00 GMT -5
I'm not expecting an inheritance. My Dad told me when he remarried that after both he and his wife died then the house would be split between my sister, myself and my stepmother's two children (both my Dad and stepmother were widowed). I want both to be very comfortable in their old age so I imagine the house will be sold at some point to ensure the surviving spouse has excellent care in his or her final years. I am college-educated with a good salary and am more than capable of providing for my own financial needs. If there's any money left over, I'll certainly be very grateful but I won't be fazed to receive nothing. I'm also, as you can probably guess, very fond of my stepmother .
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 4, 2019 9:39:21 GMT -5
Your kids knowing they will receiving a large sum of inheritance and doing their planning based on that? I am not from money and not expecting a dime from either parents (will 100% not get anything from biological dad)... but I am guessing for kids that have parents with money : it is kinda like “duh” I am bound to get something and plan accordingly? Or act accordingly? [some info taken out to protect the innocent] I wonder: A) would parent be ok with you knowing? B) is it wise to rest your financial future on that? Yes the dad is 80 but what to say he will not live to 95 or need every penny for a nursing home? C) maybe since I am not expecting anything, never did... that never crossed my mind. But do people really have that in the back of their mind: when dad and/or mom croak I may/should get $$$; so that is ok? D) my mom had me young (21) so God willing she will live a good life and... do I want to be 60 waiting on my mom to die to get something (not counting it will be split 4 ways). ***please don’t quote because there is a lot of personal information I will come back to remove**** I know what I'll get from my parents having helped with the will, includes a valuable piece of urban property that they purchased in 1974 for 20k. Many 1M+ homes on that street now, redfin says about 500k. Maybe about 50k outside of that. I'm 54 and my mom is still good and living alone and independently in that house. She is 95. She may still need extensive care in the future, always a possibility. So - I myself will be eligible for early SS in 7.5 years. How foolish (and depressing!) would it have been to wait for an inheritance as my mother may very well crack triple digits? Go Mom! I told DD my goal is to leave her and her brother 1M each when I go. She kind of chuckled at me, like I'm dreaming, lol! I have plenty of financial pressure right now, but finally earning good money and have a kitty of 600k in retirements (last I checked, no idea what it may be now. Been steadily contributing (12k in dec alone to bring 2018 to about 20k), and don't know where the stock market may be?). Have about 250k in equity in the property, but I didn't tell her I was closing in on the elusive 7 figures likely in the next two or so year if the stock market doesn't go bear. And that is still true even subtracting about 120k on the student loans! But - even with DD knowing I plan to leave her 1M, it may not be worth all that much in the future (as I told her!) and who knows when I will go? If I live to my mother's age, DD would be 63 and DS 70, so - what on earth would one be waiting for? I think only if the parent is wealthy enough to throw off large chunks of cash while living (or in very poor health?) is there even any real consequence of having an inheritance. But - both of my parents lived well into their 90's. Each had siblings that lived past 90 as well. So - that may be peculiar to me/our history. There isn't any point to thinking about an inheritance before your own retirement. That said - I am seriously considering locking up my money in a trust so that it creates a growing perpetuity into the future. Cuz.....too many dystopian dreams, almost from childhood. Would prefer a yearly payout to the decedents that grows a little each year rather than giving over the lump sum. In some ways that seems mean, and like I don't trust them, which I do. But it's a complicated world, and getting more so. plus don't trust others who may take advantage. But then - what company/person would I trust to administer such a thing? none. And of course, if I don't hit well into the 7 figures at the end, likely not really worth it.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Feb 4, 2019 10:22:54 GMT -5
I had a friend whose brother was getting a divorce. He had changed his life insurance to benefit his nieces, not having kids of his own, but hadn't gotten around to changing his will regarding his other accounts/share of the house when he unexpectedly died at the young age of 35.
It wasn't a huge amount of life insurance, but his brother calculated that it should be about 100,000 when his daughters, who were in elementary school, got old enough for college. At the time (mid 80's) $50,000 would have paid for four years at a state school.
In that specific situation, since the money was sitting in a trust account and could not be spent by anyone other than the daughters, there's no problem to rely on that to pay for college. But in any other situation, where someone living still has the money and might need it (or redirect it) - nope. My BIL's dad, for instance, is fairly wealthy, but after an expensive divorce from his mom, married a much younger woman who doesn't work. Dad has already told his three kids that, when he died, his new wife gets all of his money, so she'll be taken care of. So his kids and grandkids should know not to rely on any inheritance there.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 4, 2019 11:16:19 GMT -5
My DH's father left a residuary trust. DH gets a monthly income from it (it's administered by a trust company) and his son will get the corpus when DH dies. DH grew up very comfortably. He knew that he'd be getting something of value. His father did him a real disservice, though, by never teaching him how to manage money. He had to learn that on his own by making a lot of significant mistakes.
I think parents do owe their children an education in how to manage money, no matter how much there is. Unless the family is wealthy, though, I don't believe in living for an inheritance.
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readergirl
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Post by readergirl on Feb 4, 2019 13:08:34 GMT -5
My husband is the one planning on his inheritance, and I think he is nuts! He has not actually said he is planning on it, but he does not give a thought to saving more for retirement, and when I ask him what his retirement plan is, he just shrugs. I was hoping that asking would make him think about it harder. I try not to listen to his mother discuss it with him (1. It is not my money, 2. it is in a foreign language that I do not speak). But she is in her late 80s, as you say, $1M only goes so far, and what if she needs a private nursing home in her later years. But it is frustrating to be the only one trying to save money, the other seeing no point!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 4, 2019 15:18:41 GMT -5
I'm assuming minimal inheritance from DH's parents. There's a possibility of an under $50K inheritance from my parents. All 4 of them are retired. 3 of them are not in the best of health but are currently managing at home, with some physical help from us kids with shoveling/lawn mowing/heavy lifting type of stuff.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Feb 4, 2019 16:18:45 GMT -5
Your kids knowing they will receiving a large sum of inheritance and doing their planning based on that? I think it would be a case by case thing. I would think the size of the estate would also factor in - receiving 250K might seem like a lot - but it's not -- if the "kid" is in their 60's and never saved a dime and is relying on SS - getting the 250K to last 20 years might be a challenge (12,500 per year if the lump sum is sitting in a savings account). I think the age of the recipients also comes into play. I would think that parents who are expecting to pass down a million or more to each heir, might want to "groom" their heirs. It might change some of the life decisions of the heirs and I don't mean in a spend willy nilly for a lifetime because someday they will inherit a fortune. I mean maybe in decisions about what career path to follow or what "not work" things to pursue in life.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 5, 2019 8:57:49 GMT -5
Your kids knowing they will receiving a large sum of inheritance and doing their planning based on that? I think it would be a case by case thing. I would think the size of the estate would also factor in - receiving 250K might seem like a lot - but it's not -- if the "kid" is in their 60's and never saved a dime and is relying on SS - getting the 250K to last 20 years might be a challenge (12,500 per year if the lump sum is sitting in a savings account). I think the age of the recipients also comes into play. I would think that parents who are expecting to pass down a million or more to each heir, might want to "groom" their heirs. It might change some of the life decisions of the heirs and I don't mean in a spend willy nilly for a lifetime because someday they will inherit a fortune. I mean maybe in decisions about what career path to follow or what "not work" things to pursue in life. I don't think a million would even do anything much aside from letting a person retire 5-10 or so years earlier. Maybe 10 million would really impact a life dramatically - but even then - there is no guarantee that is won't melt away in 25 years of nursing home care, bad investments, a Madoff scheme, or change of heart. I really don't think anyone should rely on it too much. Maybe you live a little more instead of maxing the 401k, but anything else is risky.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2019 9:10:05 GMT -5
I think it would be a case by case thing. I would think the size of the estate would also factor in - receiving 250K might seem like a lot - but it's not -- if the "kid" is in their 60's and never saved a dime and is relying on SS - getting the 250K to last 20 years might be a challenge (12,500 per year if the lump sum is sitting in a savings account). I think the age of the recipients also comes into play. I would think that parents who are expecting to pass down a million or more to each heir, might want to "groom" their heirs. It might change some of the life decisions of the heirs and I don't mean in a spend willy nilly for a lifetime because someday they will inherit a fortune. I mean maybe in decisions about what career path to follow or what "not work" things to pursue in life. I don't think a million would even do anything much aside from letting a person retire 5-10 or so years earlier.
Maybe 10 million would really impact a life dramatically - but even then - there is no guarantee that is won't melt away in 25 years of nursing home care, bad investments, a Madoff scheme, or change of heart. I really don't think anyone should rely on it too much. Maybe you live a little more instead of maxing the 401k, but anything else is risky. That's pretty huge though. If I was only looking at 5 more years in this hell hole, I'd be ecstatic! A million is 25 years worth of salary for me, so it would be more than 5-10 years. I could quit now at 50.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 5, 2019 9:35:51 GMT -5
I think it would be a case by case thing. I would think the size of the estate would also factor in - receiving 250K might seem like a lot - but it's not -- if the "kid" is in their 60's and never saved a dime and is relying on SS - getting the 250K to last 20 years might be a challenge (12,500 per year if the lump sum is sitting in a savings account). I think the age of the recipients also comes into play. I would think that parents who are expecting to pass down a million or more to each heir, might want to "groom" their heirs. It might change some of the life decisions of the heirs and I don't mean in a spend willy nilly for a lifetime because someday they will inherit a fortune. I mean maybe in decisions about what career path to follow or what "not work" things to pursue in life. I don't think a million would even do anything much aside from letting a person retire 5-10 or so years earlier. Maybe 10 million would really impact a life dramatically - but even then - there is no guarantee that is won't melt away in 25 years of nursing home care, bad investments, a Madoff scheme, or change of heart. I really don't think anyone should rely on it too much. Maybe you live a little more instead of maxing the 401k, but anything else is risky. It depends upon where you are in life. A million (untaxed) is siufficient to allow someone early retirement if they are in their late 40s or 50s. A million at 25 allows you to not have to save as much for retirement. Untouched, it would compound to the point that your retirement is essentially covered. That gives a younger person way more flexibility in doing a job they like rather than need.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Feb 5, 2019 9:43:40 GMT -5
Cripes, if I inherited $1 million I'd renovate the mudroom and do other such things to the house, go on a bomb ass vacation with hubs, and still have at least $900,000 to set and forget for retirement down the road (I'm 37).
As far as an inheritance actually happening, I don't know and I don't think about it. It's my dad and stepmom's money, not mine. I'm happy they're happy. My mom can't even put together $20 for gas money, so her death will cost us money, lol. My husband's mom is a firm believer in a parent should leave something to their kids, so I guess hubs will end up with something in the future. It's not on our radar.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 5, 2019 10:50:51 GMT -5
I'm one of 4 kids and my parents are quite wealthy. My sister and I are financially responsible adults, our brothers are freaking morons. Yes we will be inheriting significant sums of money when my parents pass. I do not "plan" on this money as part of my future retirement or anything like that. My brothers, the aforementioned morons, do. My dad and I have very similar personalities and I'm the pragmatic one in the family so I know EVERYTHING. I know where wills are located, who's the attorney for what (we have separate attorneys- one for the corporate business stuff and one for the private family stuff), etc.
My dad is very practical and whenever he travels he reminds me of the order of phone calls that must be made if he passes away. My siblings and I are not close- my sister and I get along well now but previous went 5 years without speaking. My older brother, through clueless is harmless and we get along fine but my younger brother is a narcissist and we have a lot of problems with him. My dad fears that infighting will result in lawyers getting his millions. Most of it now is in a trust including all of their properties, with a portion diverted into the family's charitable foundation.
My family lives a LONG time. My great grandma passed away at 104. My dad's mom is 93. Only people that have died younger than 90 were due to the family's genetic brain cancer on my dad's side.
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MN-Investor
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Post by MN-Investor on Feb 5, 2019 11:11:51 GMT -5
My SIL's father was a physician and made a good sum, but he and her mom were also big spenders. When SIL's father passed away, it was apparent that her mom didn't have a bundle of money at that point. I asked my brother how his MIL was going to manage. His response: Bachelor farmer uncle. He wasn't kidding. My brother's MIL was depending on getting a nice inheritance from a bachelor farmer uncle. I didn't follow up, but I do know that that uncle passed away and I'm pretty sure his MIL did get a nice sum - I saw photos of the auction of his antique farm equipment. Still... I would hate to put my faith in inheriting from an uncle!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Feb 5, 2019 11:19:17 GMT -5
It's funny. My spousal unit and I received around $500k in inheritance from his mother. For us, we just kept on keeping on and it wasn't really a blip on the radar.
Spousal unit's younger sister immediately retired, was working on 'paying off her credit cards', fixing her leaking roof, and a bunch of other things. Spouse thinks she's insane and thankfully we've discussed it and we are NEVER giving her any money, haha.
I know how much I will inherit (give or take) from my remaining parent. And it's not even going to be worth the paperwork. If I was inheriting millions, I think I would act differently with my life.
For my child, who could potential inherit multi-millions- I think for now the conversation is irrelevant. And she's too young to know for sure what will happen in the future. I like what someone else said - it's my money and there may be some for you and there may not be. I do think my kiddo is the type to be really driven and she's a penny pincher at this point in her life. I don't anticipate there being trouble with her being some trust fund baby. Assuming she's working hard and doing her own productive thing in the world, yes, I would talk to her about what our finances are, and what she *might* expect in the future.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2019 11:28:37 GMT -5
My family lives a LONG time. My great grandma passed away at 104. My dad's mom is 93. Only people that have died younger than 90 were due to the family's genetic brain cancer on my dad's side.
This is why it would be really stupid for me to be thinking about an inheritance. My parents are only 20-21 years older than me and my mom and stepmom are from families where the women live to be 90-100+. I doubt even if there is an inheritance it would come before I'm in my 70's, plus I have lots of siblings. I think both sets of parents have decent assets, but it could be a looooooong time coming and lots of time for it to be spent down. Which is fine, it's their money. I hope they get to enjoy it all.
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oped
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Post by oped on Feb 5, 2019 11:44:39 GMT -5
Seriously. I mean my kids should be set. But my parents are a relative heartbeat older than me. 16 and 18 when I was born.
Not the kids... it’s not just us and grandpa but nana and my sis has no kids and I think my kids are everyone’s beneficiaries... but again, who knows what happens between them and now.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2019 11:48:55 GMT -5
Seriously. I mean my kids should be set. But my parents are a relative heartbeat older than me. 16 and 18 when I was born. Not the kids... it’s not just us and grandpa but nana and my sis has no kids and I think my kids are everyone’s beneficiaries... but again, who knows what happens between them and now. My grandmother started that young. When she was 19 she was already a widow with 3 kids. She ended up outliving her oldest son. The second two children died just a few years after her.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 5, 2019 13:40:15 GMT -5
I don't think a million would even do anything much aside from letting a person retire 5-10 or so years earlier. Maybe 10 million would really impact a life dramatically - but even then - there is no guarantee that is won't melt away in 25 years of nursing home care, bad investments, a Madoff scheme, or change of heart. I really don't think anyone should rely on it too much. Maybe you live a little more instead of maxing the 401k, but anything else is risky. It depends upon where you are in life. A million (untaxed) is siufficient to allow someone early retirement if they are in their late 40s or 50s. A million at 25 allows you to not have to save as much for retirement. Untouched, it would compound to the point that your retirement is essentially covered. That gives a younger person way more flexibility in doing a job they like rather than need. I don't see how anything here refutes what I said.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 5, 2019 20:08:17 GMT -5
It depends upon where you are in life. A million (untaxed) is siufficient to allow someone early retirement if they are in their late 40s or 50s. A million at 25 allows you to not have to save as much for retirement. Untouched, it would compound to the point that your retirement is essentially covered. That gives a younger person way more flexibility in doing a job they like rather than need. I don't see how anything here refutes what I said. It wasn’t....simply expanding on what you are saying.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Feb 5, 2019 21:02:58 GMT -5
I don't see how anything here refutes what I said. It wasn’t....simply expanding on what you are saying. ok - I thought it was a rebuttal, but couldn't find the but part!
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Feb 5, 2019 21:09:23 GMT -5
Don't retire on a million unless you have other income. It won't go as far as you think it will. And I'm sure it won't in the future.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Feb 5, 2019 21:12:41 GMT -5
Currently age 64 and retired 3 years. We are almost certainly going to receive a high 6 figure inheritance. At times it is very tempting to count on this. For example there is a very expensive trip we'd like to take before we are too old for it to be feasible. We will continue to not count on the money because who knows what could happen, but it is a little tempting at times.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2019 22:08:48 GMT -5
Don't retire on a million unless you have other income. It won't go as far as you think it will. And I'm sure it won't in the future. I'm totally retiring with 1 million if that's all that's in there when I turn 65. 3% draw and SS will equal about what I make now. Only no mortgage, retirement savings or kid expenses to worry about.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Feb 5, 2019 22:46:34 GMT -5
In your case I imagine it will work. But you are frugal, I honestly don't see how you do it now and save too. Believe me my hat is off to you. I just don't think for 2 people it will be enough.
Oh we could scrimp and save and make do on whatever, but we just want to continue a good standard of living.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Feb 5, 2019 23:22:09 GMT -5
Don't retire on a million unless you have other income. It won't go as far as you think it will. And I'm sure it won't in the future. I'm totally retiring with 1 million if that's all that's in there when I turn 65. 3% draw and SS will equal about what I make now. Only no mortgage, retirement savings or kid expenses to worry about. And I retired early on less than a million. Not worried at all.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 6, 2019 2:00:18 GMT -5
I'm totally retiring with 1 million if that's all that's in there when I turn 65. 3% draw and SS will equal about what I make now. Only no mortgage, retirement savings or kid expenses to worry about. And I retired early on less than a million. Not worried at all. We did too, but we both have pensions + SS.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 6, 2019 2:03:11 GMT -5
I want to leave my children enough to make their lives more comfortable, but I do not want them to plan on or count on anything. As I’ve told them, “if either of us develops dementia, the cost of care will eat through our nestegg”.
If we make it to the end without needing nursing home care, they will inherit a nice little chunk. But I don’t want them planning on it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 6, 2019 9:36:36 GMT -5
I do not want my kids planning for an inheritence. Plans get derailed and there may be nothing left. I may choose to leave my estate to charity. Who knows?
I do plan on paying for college so they aren't burdened with student loans, and I will help them with a downpayment for a house if the time comes.
I will probably get a little bit of money from my parents, but I'm not planning on it.
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