Anne_in_VA
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:09:35 GMT -5
Posts: 5,503
|
Post by Anne_in_VA on Jan 28, 2019 8:21:32 GMT -5
We were very poor too and lived in public housing (the projects). We were always fed, but we didn’t have a lot of leftovers and we wore mostly homemade clothes or hand me downs. I remember wearing my older sisters old winter coat that was pretty threadbare. I tend to hoard food and hate to waste anything. I do use towels in the kitchen rather than paper towels, but I do use them for greasy or sticky messes.
I often hear a voice in my head telling me I can’t afford that, but in reality I can afford pretty much anything I want or need. But I still drive. 10 yo car. I just can’t justify buying a newer car when this one still runs fine.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 21,301
|
Post by giramomma on Jan 28, 2019 9:03:37 GMT -5
I dunno. I still haven't heard much from the poor people here that defines them as "poor"... DH and I lived in the hood from 22-34.. It was what we could afford so that we could keep saving. One of the reasons we started with private school is because the school system's answer to educating poor kids is to have them rub elbows with the rich ones. So. While we were living in our first place in a troubled part of town...the district said the answer to pull my kid out of "poverty" was to have him sit on a a bus for two hours a day going to a school built in the land of 500-750K homes. No thank you, we will pay for private school, instead...and we avoided paying 30% or more for housing, since we were looking to move at the height of the RE bubble.
75% of my girls clothing is hand-me downs. Goodness. All four of the kids even wear the same snowpants..I by black, so it doesn't matter which gender wears it. It begs the question of what is "poor." is. I'm still not convinced having kids wear pre-owned clothing, turning the heat down, or having 2 pairs of pants is "poor." Miss M got two gifts for Christmas, total. (Well, three, including a check for her savings account.) She got crayons, fingerpaint, and a check. My car is 12 years old, and we're not replacing it any time soon.
We are not poor.
|
|
gs11rmb
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 12:43:39 GMT -5
Posts: 3,303
|
Post by gs11rmb on Jan 28, 2019 9:11:58 GMT -5
I dunno. I still haven't heard much from the poor people here that defines them as "poor"... DH and I lived in the hood from 22-34.. It was what we could afford so that we could keep saving. One of the reasons we started with private school is because the school system's answer to educating poor kids is to have them rub elbows with the rich ones. So. While we were living in our first place in a troubled part of town...the district said the answer to pull my kid out of "poverty" was to have him sit on a a bus for two hours a day going to a school built in the land of 500-750K homes. No thank you, we will pay for private school, instead...and we avoided paying 30% or more for housing, since we were looking to move at the height of the RE bubble.
75% of my girls clothing is hand-me downs. Goodness. All four of the kids even wear the same snowpants..I by black, so it doesn't matter which gender wears it. It begs the question of what is "poor." is. I'm still not convinced having kids wear pre-owned clothing, turning the heat down, or having 2 pairs of pants is "poor." Miss M got two gifts for Christmas, total. (Well, three, including a check for her savings account.) She got crayons, fingerpaint, and a check. My car is 12 years old, and we're not replacing it any time soon.
We are not poor.
You are not poor because you are choosing to spend your disposable income on private school and retirement savings. You are frugal. Poor would be having no choice but to provide your kids with hand-me-downs, having to keep the heat low, and attending the local school regardless of its quality. Poor is having no disposable income and very limited choices.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 12:19:43 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2019 9:25:13 GMT -5
I dunno. I still haven't heard much from the poor people here that defines them as "poor"... <snip>75% of my girls clothing is hand-me downs. Goodness. All four of the kids even wear the same snowpants..I by black, so it doesn't matter which gender wears it. It begs the question of what is "poor." is. I'm still not convinced having kids wear pre-owned clothing, turning the heat down, or having 2 pairs of pants is "poor." Miss M got two gifts for Christmas, total. (Well, three, including a check for her savings account.) She got crayons, fingerpaint, and a check. My car is 12 years old, and we're not replacing it any time soon.
We are not poor. A lot of what you describe applies to DS and DDIL. DDIL is a SAHM and DS probably makes about $65,000 in a LCOL area, with decent benefits. My granddaughters look adorable in clothes DDIL buys at a thrift shop and they do get handed down. The kids each got 3 things from Santa Claus but plenty of stuff from DDIL's side of the family. (I go for experiences and contributions to the 529 plans.) They just bought a bigger home in an area with low property taxes because the school district is not so hot but DDIL will be home-schooling. I think she can do it; she's patient, organized and smart, and many mothers in the community are home-schoolers. So- they're frugal but definitely not poor.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jan 28, 2019 10:03:07 GMT -5
Poor is having no choice or not so pretty choice:
- poor is having to choose between paying the gas bill or the electricity bill: not both. Every month it is a game of “Eeny, meeny, miny, mo” of what bills get paid or have a rotation of what get paid: those 2 this month and those 2 next month... and repeat the following month.
- poor is having to decide between feeding your kids in the morning or have gas money.
- poor is having your kids wear hands me down not because of choice but because it is the only way they are getting any clothes.
- poor is having cereal with water instead of milk (hand up me growing up).
- poor is having as a way of life (no meat or reduced meat due to cost) what the middle class or rich consider a health choice and brag about. (Hand up me growing up again)... I guess that is why now I insist on having meat with every meal.
- poor is letting your kids sleep in the morning because when they wake up you will have to feed them and you have not figured it out yet... and it is easier to let them sleep the hunger away then have your heart ripped to shreds when they cry they are hungry and you have nothing to feed them (I did not understand how soul crushing this could be till I had my daughter).
- poor is staying with a man that ain’t shit, will never be shit but you need whatever paycheck he brings in because it helps feed the kids because with 2 paychecks you are not even making ends meet so you cannot even envision what life will be like with just 1 (reality of many women in poverty in fucked up relationships).
I am related to the poor or working poor, I also work with the poor or working poor: it is a total different reality; it is a different mindset. I have said it before and I will say it again: I have been poor and I will work myself to the bones before I ever go back.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,717
|
Post by raeoflyte on Jan 28, 2019 11:24:32 GMT -5
My mom says she hears people talking about how poor they were because they saved the bread bags to reuse, and turned worn out clothes in to rags and just laughs. When she was growing up, that wasn't done because you were poor, it was done because that was normal. We'd have a lot less of a waste issue today if throwing things out wasn't so normal now.
However, there is a huge difference between choosing to live frugally and actually being poor. Dh and I lived in a rough neighborhood for 10 years because that was what we could afford and we definitely felt poor. But our neighbors were actually poor. When we were looking at school info, the elementary school 3 blocks from us had 97% of kids on free lunch. At that point, that meant a family of 4 made less than 41k, and put us in the top 3% of earners for families with kids going to that school. Kind of put things in perspective as far as how poor we really were.
OP--your daughter doesn't need to be on the same page as her in-laws, but hopefully the same page as her dh. That's easier said than done a lot of times, but it is possible. It may help that you are closely watching your retirement savings, and that his parents are worried about retirement despite the difference in incomes. That's a helpful message to see and hear for young adults and parents. Regardless, she shouldn't be arguing with them about a trip to disney land (and she can absolutely say no to that--no way were my kids going out of state without me at that age), her dh needs to take that on with his folks.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on Jan 28, 2019 12:31:46 GMT -5
My parents grew up in the Depression, when everyone was poor. They had 5 kids. They conserved every resource. My father sharpened the 19 cent potato peeler, and when that couldn't be sharpened again, my left-handed sister used it. They lived with the toaster only working on one slot while the lever was pulled down for years. My father did all the car work with my brothers. My parents refurbished run-down homes as we lived in them. We all went to college, with our parents contributing but not paying more than half the costs. Yet my father was a professional, a hospital administrator. My mother was a nurse. Their income was very good. They retired as millionaires.
Growing up as I did means that I, too, tend to be cautious about using paper towels, or buying out-of-season fruit, or accepting that clothes are out of style and look it. It is hard to dispose of things; they represent the cost of buying them. I do know how to make it with very little, though I have never been poor. I wish I could have imparted more of this knowledge to my children.
My kids are quite different both from me and from each other. DD spends and spends when she can and has trouble living under a budget. DS is a minimalist, but whatever he buys it is high quality and he doesn't bargain hunt. He does buy what he wants, but doesn't want much.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,453
|
Post by billisonboard on Jan 28, 2019 12:48:15 GMT -5
... They lived with the toaster only working on one slot while the lever was pulled down for years. ... (I apologize in advantage but this just struck me as funny.) I do like toast, but not enough to pull the lever down for years to get one slice.
|
|
pooks
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 11, 2017 16:45:43 GMT -5
Posts: 627
Today's Mood: Angry
|
Post by pooks on Jan 28, 2019 12:51:54 GMT -5
I wonder how my DD is going to turn out. My parents are Boomers, so I am pretty far removed from the great depression. I did grow up inner city poor though. The not having heat in the north east in winter and having food only because your mom always worked in fast food kind of poor. Dh grew up similarly and we both feel the need to prepare for economic scarcity, so we are pretty cheap for our income.
So DD has been raised frugally, but has never experienced poverty. She doesn't understand why we don't take huge exotic vacations like her friends, replace things with newer stuff, pretty much spend every dime. Hopefully she will take some of our habits. Some of things she does would be considered "cute", because we aren't wasteful. I mean eating or freezing leftovers is just good sense.
|
|
JustLurkin
Well-Known Member
This is what you look like right now.
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 5:28:20 GMT -5
Posts: 1,109
|
Post by JustLurkin on Jan 28, 2019 13:02:16 GMT -5
I dunno. I still haven't heard much from the poor people here that defines them as "poor"... DH and I lived in the hood from 22-34..
<snip>
It begs the question of what is "poor." is.
You can't have been in 'the hood'...anyone who spent more than a decade in 'the hood' will never utter the phrase "describe being poor" without it being heavily dripping in sarcasm. Being poor, and in the hood, is hoping to not be shot while in the "sanctuary" known as home; it's hoping the bus comes on time because there is snow on the ground and summer slippers on your feet (newsflash, poor people don't have summer and winter clothes, there's just clothes); it's trying to put healthy food on the table, when I was a kid I didn't understand the "luxury" of the ice cream truck having groceries; it's sleeping with the oven door open; it's never asking the landlord for repairs for fear of being put out; it's going to the laundromat when you have no car; it's going without medical care. I'm thunderstuck by the question, and can't continue the answer.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on Jan 28, 2019 13:07:52 GMT -5
TheHaitian and JustLurkin, you have a way of really evoking what poor means. My mother once mentioned that her family didn't get indoor plumbing until she was in high school. That's poor. And they wore clothes not only handed on from others, but remade until they fit, with room to grow.
|
|
finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,414
|
Post by finnime on Jan 28, 2019 13:11:18 GMT -5
One of the problems with growing up in poverty is that you don't naturally come by knowledge of how to manage money, any money. The lessons of saving and planning that accrue in a middle-income life aren't there when there's nothing to save and no point in planning.
|
|
chiver78
Administrator
Current Events Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:04:45 GMT -5
Posts: 38,508
|
Post by chiver78 on Jan 28, 2019 13:25:17 GMT -5
Hmmm...I wonder if it’s because I’m on my phone right now and when I typed my original post was on my computer. yes, work-arounds like that do not work on the mobile app.
|
|
tcu2003
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 31, 2010 15:24:01 GMT -5
Posts: 4,942
|
Post by tcu2003 on Jan 28, 2019 13:52:50 GMT -5
One of the problems with growing up in poverty is that you don't naturally come by knowledge of how to manage money, any money. The lessons of saving and planning that accrue in a middle-income life aren't there when there's nothing to save and no point in planning. This. I grew up in a low-income household - not poor, but not middle class. We had free or reduced lunches every single year. My parents would skip getting new shoes so my sister or I could get new clothes/shoes (usually bought on clearance or garage sales, and handed down from me to sister). We didn't take family vacations except trips to visit family. We were a one car family, but we at least had a car. And thankfully my sister's best friend's dad owned a mechanic shop, so he would let my parents make payments for car repairs. We grew a garden in the summer for produce. We rarely had fresh fruit in the winter because of the cost. But we had food on the table, and my sister and I didn't notice that we didn't have much money until late middle or high school. We ate out at restaurants like maybe 4 times/ year - for someone's birthday. We reused everything, but part of that is also probably how my parents grew up, and that their parents were not wasteful. All of that to say, my parents could handle the money they had or didn't have - they got bills paid, owned a small house (inherited from my grandparents, and worth maybe $30k now), and generally avoid credit card debt. My dad worked in a pension system for a while before he went on medical disability due to his epilepsy, and my mom then has a 401k at her job now. But when my great aunt died and left my dad around $80-100k (don't remember the exact number, but it was a $300k-ish estate, split between my dad and his two siblings, plus small bequests to the 7 great nieces/nephews), they basically frittered it away in a few years. They bought a new minivan (no family making less than $30k/year needs a brand new minivan, even if this was back in 1996 or so...in which case their income then was probably closer to $20k, but I don't know for sure), added central heat/air to our house (and got hosed by the contractor because they had no experience dealing with one), and I'm not sure what else. But it was all gone. If they had known to invest that, their lives 10 years down the road would have been much easier, and my mom's retirement choices today would be different (my dad died in 2011, so it's only my mom now). Anyway, my parents aren't even an extreme example, and again, I grew up low income, not poor.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,717
|
Post by raeoflyte on Jan 28, 2019 14:09:47 GMT -5
TheHaitian and JustLurkin , you have a way of really evoking what poor means. My mother once mentioned that her family didn't get indoor plumbing until she was in high school. That's poor. And they wore clothes not only handed on from others, but remade until they fit, with room to grow. Neither of my parents had indoor plumbing until around highschool. But it wasn't so much being poor as it was being rural. It wasn't odd for farms not to have indoor plumbing. My dad says he thought everyone in the city must be rich though.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Jan 28, 2019 14:18:11 GMT -5
I am fortunate to never have been truly poor. My dad was poorer than poor in his childhood, as he was a was refugee and experienced true starvation. My mother lived under commumnism after the war, with its decades of rationing. Her sister's home didn't get an indoor toilet until the 90's, and my cousin told me they would have had nothing if it weren't for the packages of garage sale purchases my mom sent them. As a kid attending a private school, I had hated being dragged along to those garage sales...
|
|
phil5185
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 15:45:49 GMT -5
Posts: 6,409
|
Post by phil5185 on Jan 28, 2019 14:25:06 GMT -5
TheHaitian and JustLurkin , you have a way of really evoking what poor means. My mother once mentioned that her family didn't get indoor plumbing until she was in high school. That's poor. And they wore clothes not only handed on from others, but remade until they fit, with room to grow. We got 'an indoor water line' when I was about 8 years old. We had an outhouse about 50 feet from the house (seemed longer at night, in the snow). For water, my mom walked to a well and carried two buckets of water to our house. For hot water, our cook stove had a water reservoir, and she kept a kettle or two on top. My dad installed a water line when I was 8, a single cold water pipe to the kitchen sink.
As for food, no problems, we lived on a farm, plenty of meat, eggs, milk (Carl, I've never tried cereal with water). I recall asking why we never had turkey on thanksgiving - the answer was 'turkey is expensive & we got lots of chickens". We got electricity the year I was born, so I don't remember pre-electricity. But Mom always said that a refrigerator was her most important possession, she would hate to go back to canning dried meat, using lake ice in an ice-box to cool milk, food. That was before paper towels, kleenex, and plastic. So 'recycling' was nothing like today, we didn't even need a waste basket. Today, people seem so proud of having a weekly barrel of recyclables - lol, real recycling would be not have all of that waste to start with.
For the War Effort, everyone saved newspapers and magazines, bundled them and took them to town. Same with tin cans, we cut both ends and flattened them. And the silk from milk-weed pods.
|
|
cktc
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 19, 2013 22:15:31 GMT -5
Posts: 3,202
|
Post by cktc on Jan 28, 2019 14:34:06 GMT -5
I think there is a big difference between parents having money, and grandparents having money. I don't think you can end up spoiled from grandparents spoiling you as long as your parents are the primary ones raising you. Kids will understand where the money is coming from and that certain privileges won't be a given. It may even motivate them more seeing the different standard of living and luxuries they can afford.
|
|
countrygirl2
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 7, 2016 15:45:05 GMT -5
Posts: 16,887
|
Post by countrygirl2 on Jan 28, 2019 14:35:07 GMT -5
I think once you are poor, it never leaves you. That must be my problem. Hubs mom says how poor they were, but hubs doesn't seem to know it. He is frugal, always has been, but for him I think its just in his genes. Our son is even worse then him, but I fear our grandson will never understand what it is to need anything, if his dad is around till he grows up. At him hitting 50 and grandson only 4, that is to be seen. His mom could earn little or nothing.
I on the other hand grew up poor. Yes, it would be so cold we had the oven door open to heat the kitchen. We had coal stoves and if you were gone to long the fires went out. Water in the sink froze, we only had a hand pitcher pump in the kitchen till I was in 8th grade and no bathroom. Mom would heat water on the stove and put a washtub in the kitchen to take a bath. We did often but in between we took spit baths in the sink.
We got a bathroom when I was in high school. Dad put in a furnace, he finally started making good money. The first month it used something like a tank of propane there was no insulation in the house at all. He had to put insulation in the attic, that helped. But I think hubs and I were married when he put insulation in the outside walls, I can't remember for sure, then it was good and warm.
Some winters mom said all they had to eat was home canned tomatoes, I loved them and lived on crackers and tomatoes. I was so thin all the relatives said how thin I was. It didn't bother me but did mom. I had no idea and was just really happy eating tomatoes. Also I did have a lot of Campbells soup and like that too.
I too didn't realize how really poor we were until high school, then I knew. I excelled in academics as did another girl that was beyond poor, she was top of the class. I later found out there house had a dirt floor, now that's poor. She got a scholarship, did very well, but something must not have worked for her, she committed suicide. I couldn't believe it.
I too am like another person, I buy the new bedspread and keep the old, the curtains, the throwrugs, etc.
Hubs made a ton of money for years and we saved and I enjoyed buying all I never had. But once he retired and I knew it was coming any year I had to adjust back down and its hard. Right now I'm doing it and going to meet the savings goals to pay all the taxes and insurance without pulling money out, but its taking almost everything to do it. We have to get the last house done so we can use the money from rentals and supplement our income back up then we will be fine. Now I hope for some reason because they found nothing wrong with me in the ER we dont' get hit with some big medical bill. I did not want to go because of that.
Yes we have money but we have maybe one of us to live 20 more years, DD to care for and health insurance to pay. I'm reading now plan on saving $300k just to cover premiums and health care needs in retirement. I believe it as I can see premiums for both of us raising $30 a month each for the rest of our lives plus copays.
Yes, I worry about money. And yet I know we have assets to sell and savings. But I have all my life, I guess I can't get out of that poor mindset.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,343
|
Post by NastyWoman on Jan 28, 2019 15:38:49 GMT -5
We were more lower income rather than poor when I was very young. My kids on the other hand grew up upper middle class, yet they saw true poverty, which is something I never did. We were living in Bangkok and right next to the building we lived in they were erecting a new high-rise. This being Bangkok, the laborers lived in shacks they build on-site. One day there was a fire in those shacks and the people fled with all their belongings. DS1 couldn't understand why they saved so little and what they saved was "crap" IHO. I told him that was all they had and he went very quiet.
It was on that day that he decided that a McD job or the equivalent was not for him → he is extremely smart but until that time could not be bothered with anything related to school. He also learned that hard work and poverty are not mutually exclusive and it is not always within your powers to change that.
|
|
phil5185
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 15:45:49 GMT -5
Posts: 6,409
|
Post by phil5185 on Jan 28, 2019 16:29:15 GMT -5
Funny thing is, even today, Mom (who eventually inherited enough to live out her years in well deserved financial decency) is still almost painfully frugal. I recently took over her cat litter duty, because she no longer can. I bought scented trash bags. Her look could have cut me in half, lol!
I don't think I am "cheap" with other people, but sometimes I can be frugal in silly ways that are just habit. squeezing the toothepaste until it is really, really gone, or using ALL of the shampoo for instance. On the other hand, I always have a spare bottle of shampoo, deodorant, etc. Always. And I am never, ever, cold. True. Frugal in silly ways. When we go to breakfast, even at McD, I look at the price. Ie, if we get 2 Sausage Biscuits and 2 senior coffees, the cost is under $4. I look at the bill and think 'silly old fool', you could buy the business if you wanted it. And yet I can't shake the habit of choosing things based on a few pennies. lol - scented trash bags. One grandkid buys little plastic boxes with compartments - cheese, peanuts, crackers - geez, 50¢ for the food, $3 for the plastic box & labor. And those little boxed drinks with straws taped to the outside - prolly costs 10X per oz more than a quart of orange juice. Toothpaste - I use about a quarter inch - the TV commercials show a toothbrush covered with a full-length bead of toothpaste, about 5X what is needed.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 25, 2024 12:19:43 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2019 17:37:46 GMT -5
True. Frugal in silly ways. When we go to breakfast, even at McD, I look at the price. Ie, if we get 2 Sausage Biscuits and 2 senior coffees, the cost is under $4. I look at the bill and think 'silly old fool', you could buy the business if you wanted it. And yet I can't shake the habit of choosing things based on a few pennies. My dear parents stopped at Subway on road trips and would agree on what type of sandwich they wanted so they could save money by ordering a foot-long and splitting it. I thought it was kind of cute; DH and I had very distinct preferences so we chose separately. Now that DH is gone, I buy a foot-long and save half of it for dinner.
|
|
haapai
Junior Associate
Character
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:40:06 GMT -5
Posts: 5,882
|
Post by haapai on Jan 28, 2019 18:05:15 GMT -5
I mentally filled in the title of the thread.
"When the poor meet the rich ..." it ain't so bad. It's when the poor meet the middle-class, or those who are struggling to be middle-class, that the hate really shows.
At least that was what I brought away from my experience in the 1980s. My family wasn't poor, but we looked it, and rich folks were generally okay with that. It was the non-poor/non-rich folks who were vile to me.
Times may have changed a bit so that actual rich folks now feel free to pull the same stunts, but back in the 80's if you looked poor, the person most likely to give you crap for it came from a family that didn't have a whole lot but was also desperate to prove that they were better than someone. Oh man, they did not succeed in convincing me of that. The rich kids might not have wanted much to do with me, but they felt no need to torment me.
|
|
Gardening Grandma
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:39:46 GMT -5
Posts: 17,962
|
Post by Gardening Grandma on Jan 28, 2019 18:49:23 GMT -5
True. Frugal in silly ways. When we go to breakfast, even at McD, I look at the price. Ie, if we get 2 Sausage Biscuits and 2 senior coffees, the cost is under $4. I look at the bill and think 'silly old fool', you could buy the business if you wanted it. And yet I can't shake the habit of choosing things based on a few pennies. My dear parents stopped at Subway on road trips and would agree on what type of sandwich they wanted so they could save money by ordering a foot-long and splitting it. I thought it was kind of cute; DH and I had very distinct preferences so we chose separately. DH and I do that. We’ll ask them to cut it in half and we order completely different veggies and dressings....
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Jan 28, 2019 18:59:07 GMT -5
I worked at Subway. People did that all the time. NBD. When I went on family road trips as a child, we'd bring a giant cooler and my mom packed homemade sandwiches for us, among other things.
|
|
chapeau
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 10:50:04 GMT -5
Posts: 1,649
|
Post by chapeau on Jan 28, 2019 19:16:29 GMT -5
I worked at Subway. People did that all the time. NBD. When I went on family road trips as a child, we'd bring a giant cooler and my mom packed homemade sandwiches for us, among other things. I have been known to pack a lunch for a long day of running errands. We always pack a picnic when we’re road tripping.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 37,453
|
Post by billisonboard on Jan 28, 2019 19:19:22 GMT -5
I mentally filled in the title of the thread.
"When the poor meet the rich ..." it ain't so bad. It's when the poor meet the middle-class, or those who are struggling to be middle-class, that the hate really shows.
At least that was what I brought away from my experience in the 1980s. My family wasn't poor, but we looked it, and rich folks were generally okay with that. It was the non-poor/non-rich folks who were vile to me.
Times may have changed a bit so that actual rich folks now feel free to pull the same stunts, but back in the 80's if you looked poor, the person most likely to give you crap for it came from a family that didn't have a whole lot but was also desperate to prove that they were better than someone. Oh man, they did not succeed in convincing me of that. The rich kids might not have wanted much to do with me, but they felt no need to torment me.
In what setting were you in a group with rich kids?
|
|
countrygirl2
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 7, 2016 15:45:05 GMT -5
Posts: 16,887
|
Post by countrygirl2 on Jan 28, 2019 19:40:33 GMT -5
And I am never, ever, cold.
I don't want to be cold either. I remember, mom putting up plastic over the windows in the winter. Our old house had bad floors in a couple of rooms and mom stuffed newspapers in the holes so it would be warmer, they later put in new floors. IT WAS COLD. I slept under so many quilts I could hardly turn over. I hated to get up in the mornings. School was so nice and warm.
I hope nothing happens to son so grandson will not know poverty.
|
|
weltschmerz
Community Leader
Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
Posts: 38,962
|
Post by weltschmerz on Jan 28, 2019 19:49:36 GMT -5
I'm cold right now. My mother's mink stole has never seen this much action.
|
|
TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,160
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
|
Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 28, 2019 20:09:43 GMT -5
Parents grew up in the depression. No running water or electricity. I think I stated earlier dad's family was worse off than mom's and they had no food at times and were fed boiled water and sent to bed.
Mom's family had food because they lived on a farm. They raised their food. Her dad was a carpenter so he traded his skills for things they needed that could not be grown.
Mom and her sisters had dresses made from flour sacks. She slept with two sisters until they left home.
Many of my aunts and uncles who didn't leave that area had no running water when I was young. They all do now.
Mom left the farm for town during WWII and that's where she met dad. We always had running water. We were definitely low income poor. They lived pay check to pay check. I'm told when we were very young they got the food commodities, like cheese. However, if a family member needed a place to stay, mom and dad made room for them.
Mom was a waitress until the final years of her working life when dad helped her get an office job. I had taught her how to type but when she took the typing test she got stressed and couldn't type fast enough. I was giving them to her at home and she was typing above the minimum requirement. Mom and dad were two of the hardest working employees their employers ever had. They both called their managers Mr. and Mrs. Dad still refers to his boss as Mr. They did not miss work. Dad had perfect attendance until he needed some surgery on his inner ear near the end of his career.
Mom got a credit card at a local department store. She was so proud that she had her own credit card. They only had one other credit card and they got that after they had problems renting a hotel room or a car with cash.
I can see dad's simulated credit score now as I have online access to his bank account. His score is 4. Yes, 4 and he's high risk. They paid cash for their last two houses and last two cars. He's 95. He doesn't need to worry about his credit score. He can get a loan at the credit union for over 16% interest. The offer that shows on my account is just over 4%.
We always had food and clothes. No, not an outfit for every day. We had a pair of shoes until we outgrew those. Clothes were handed down, etc. They simply had no more money. I will never fault them for the way we were raised. We were raised that if there is snow in the forecast, you set the alarm early and shovel so you get to work on time. That was what I did when I worked in Denver. I only missed one day of work because of snow.
|
|