Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Nov 18, 2019 16:44:27 GMT -5
debthaven, I had that happen last year. The head of our sister company came up to me during a convention break and said, "I heard you're leaving us." I was dumbfounded, and then became paranoid of course, LOL. Turns out it was a fellow agent who was leaving. She called called me a few weeks later saying she was leaving the company to become a nurse. The head dude had his gossip correct, just the incorrect agent. (Guess we're all the same to them this side of the state. )
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 18, 2019 16:53:08 GMT -5
Thank you Iggy aka IG !!! I got paranoid too ... I thought, well maybe they're all right, I AM leaving, but I just don't know it yet. Dumbfounded is the perfect word! I'm guessing R is right, someone got it wrong and confused me with P (despite the blonde/brown hair and 20 years).
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 18, 2019 17:47:13 GMT -5
I hope that is all there is to it debthaven--a mix up with another English-speaker
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 19, 2019 7:59:04 GMT -5
The file tray I bought has been working well. It still needs to move from my kitchen table to the counter which will be its permanent home. I am using it though which has cut down on piles of mail.
I washed all of the empty prescription bottles to donate. Well soaked them in my bathroom sink anyway and rinsed. They are drying and should be ready to go Friday when I'm off. I thought they were all in one place and I found 10 more stashed in random places.
I noticed work is hosting an electronics recycling program for personal items. I need to check into what I can bring in for that.
DH finally agreed with me to get a big floor cabinet for our kitchen. The kitchen renovation is last on the list and a $20k minimum job. The kitchen/dining area is wide open and huge. Storage is not plentiful. Sometimes he is slow to come around.
I'm trying to keep plugging along. I sold 2 items last week and got those out of my house. It's slow but I am trying to keep going.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 19, 2019 10:33:36 GMT -5
This week- 17 tests/Mon - 13 tests/Tues- haircut + color/Wed - baby gift W It's great that you're making some money too wvugurl26
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Nov 19, 2019 11:27:41 GMT -5
Finished decorating the Christmas tree last night.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Nov 19, 2019 13:40:38 GMT -5
I took in a bag of 50 baby/little girl clothes to a coworker - yay! And I’m working on antiheroes bag of stuff for him.
I also have a box of boys’ clothes to take to a friend with a son a couple years younger than C. We’ll drop that off the next time we go to my ILs, so likely sometime in the next couple of weeks.
DH and I went through our catch-all spot where we drop keys, mail, etc when we come in from the garage and got that organized again, so yay for some progress.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 19, 2019 13:52:34 GMT -5
That's early for here Iggy, but enjoy! Well done tcu2003 ! I used to take DS3's old clothes to my coworker too.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Nov 19, 2019 14:00:04 GMT -5
That's early for here Iggy, but enjoy! Here, too. We usually wait until the long T-Day weekend. However, this year will be filled with niece2's wedding ceremony and pre-parties and celebrations.
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ohmomto2boys
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Post by ohmomto2boys on Nov 19, 2019 14:10:37 GMT -5
All the cabinets have been installed in the kitchen. There is a countertop that needs installed and of course I am having trouble getting ahold of the place to come and install it. We have the slab of quartz at our house (the installers left it when they installed the sink and other counters) thank goodness. Worst case, we can install it ourselves. Just need the adhesive. I am taking a box of stuff to Goodwill. It feels great getting rid of stuff that has been laying around. Took a box of kids clothes to the resale shop last week - got $52 for it. The rest is in the box for Goodwill. I have not finished putting all the items back into the kitchen. I predict another box or 2 will be given away before I am done organizing. Offered some toys to a co-worker. I just need to get them together and bring them in.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 19, 2019 14:21:26 GMT -5
Hurray on the kitchen ohmomto2boys ! Please post pix when it's all done!
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 19, 2019 14:44:52 GMT -5
Going to a birthday party for great nephew.
Dad's former employer just called because I ranked them as all 0's on the survey they sent when they wouldn't let me enroll dad in Medicare Part D. They gave me the phone number for sister to fax a copy of the financial POA. Said to tell her to do it ASAP since open season ends on December 6 (technically the 7th but that is a Saturday). Told me to have her call next Wednesday evening to get this done. He said they system can be overridden if they know a POA is in their system.
Now to get her to make the phone call.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 19, 2019 15:31:46 GMT -5
She's all powerful Theo, surely she can make that phone call ... Alternatively, do YOU have a copy of your sister's POA? Because if you do, I'm guessing that would be more efficient. How did the appt go today?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 19, 2019 16:03:59 GMT -5
She's all powerful Theo, surely she can make that phone call ... Alternatively, do YOU have a copy of your sister's POA? Because if you do, I'm guessing that would be more efficient. How did the appt go today?
I don't know how the appointment went. Niece sent me a text inviting me to birthday party. I asked how it went and there has been no response. No, I don't have a copy of the POA. If I did, I would make sure it gets faxed tomorrow and make sure the call gets made in time. When I told her the issue, she said she didn't make phone calls and for me to handle it. Legally, I can't handle it.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 19, 2019 16:18:43 GMT -5
I'm sorry TheO. She really is impossible. ETA: I don't know how you communicate, by email or text or phone. We are all over the place geographically so we have a "family thread" on WhatsApp. I would take the closest thing, add the others, and announce (publicly) to your sister (with your DNs and DN included) that you'd be very happy to scan/fax it tomorrow, but since you don't have it, you can't. As soon as she gives you a copy, you'd be very happy to do that.
I'm guessing that her sons/DD (your DNs/DN) will make sure it's dealt with, yesterday.
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startsmart
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Post by startsmart on Nov 19, 2019 16:22:31 GMT -5
TheO- how frustrating, is probably reply with “you can make the call as POA or you can give up the role since you’re not interested in doing what’s required but I am not your secretary.”
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 19, 2019 16:28:27 GMT -5
I am about to go there with me taking over as financial POA. However, that would require dad signing something and I'm not sure if he would understand what he was signing.
When mom died, I did make the phone calls on all the financial stuff and I'm guessing I will when dad dies. It is really irking me that my parents made her the only financial POA. If it read either/or I could get this taken care of.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 20, 2019 7:57:28 GMT -5
So dad doesn't want to move. From researching, appears he can't be forced without going to court. He came to the birthday party. He is much weaker than he was last Friday. I've had no sleep. I have told sister to text me each week with what he needs. That is all I can do. Niece said the dementia is really bad. Can't go back in time when he might have understood. He couldn't answer the questions director of assisted living asked him. They showed him the apartment. He was too weak to walk back to his place so he did use a wheel chair. I feel totally helpless.
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nikiz628
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Post by nikiz628 on Nov 20, 2019 9:03:12 GMT -5
So dad doesn't want to move. From researching, appears he can't be forced without going to court. He came to the birthday party. He is much weaker than he was last Friday. I've had no sleep. I have told sister to text me each week with what he needs. That is all I can do. Niece said the dementia is really bad. Can't go back in time when he might have understood. He couldn't answer the questions director of assisted living asked him. They showed him the apartment. He was too weak to walk back to his place so he did use a wheel chair. I feel totally helpless. Big hugs. I am so sorry you’re feeling helpless. ❤️ What a system failure that you can’t make him move, even with medical professionals recommending it. What are your sister’s thoughts on his refusal?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 20, 2019 9:35:28 GMT -5
So dad doesn't want to move. From researching, appears he can't be forced without going to court. He came to the birthday party. He is much weaker than he was last Friday. I've had no sleep. I have told sister to text me each week with what he needs. That is all I can do. Niece said the dementia is really bad. Can't go back in time when he might have understood. He couldn't answer the questions director of assisted living asked him. They showed him the apartment. He was too weak to walk back to his place so he did use a wheel chair. I feel totally helpless. Big hugs. I am so sorry you’re feeling helpless. ❤️ What a system failure that you can’t make him move, even with medical professionals recommending it. What are your sister’s thoughts on his refusal? I only talked to my niece last night. She was quite upset and I'm guessing my sister is, too. The director of assisted living did get him to agree to have meals delivered from the dining room on the weekend. She got him to say he would eat one meal a day. He won't remember he agreed to that. The use of the wheel chair was quite telling. He has always refused it. Tried to refuse the wheel chair when he had his pacemaker battery replaced but hospital wouldn't let him. I don't know what we can do. I don't know what it would cost to go to court, but I don't think he has that much time left.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Nov 20, 2019 10:16:23 GMT -5
I'm sorry TheO. I don't understand how they can keep him at a level of care that is too low for his current needs ... won't management force him to go to assisted living at some point?
This week
- 17 tests/Mon - 13 tests/Tues - haircut + color/Wed - baby gift W - editing for E I'm off till Monday except for 2-3 hours of editing.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 20, 2019 10:38:07 GMT -5
Just talked to sister on phone. She is as upset as I am. She and her husband are on their way to talk to the director of assisted living. We actually think he needs a nursing home, not assisted living.
Also talked to bank and funeral home (to give them a heads up). Since bank accounts are joint with dad, sister and me, we can use it to pay any difference to the funeral home for their services. We know we used more than half for mom's funeral. Of course, we will continue to pay his bills until he passes. We just didn't know if we could pay the funeral home.
Neither she or her husband had any sleep either.
This is way harder than when mom died. She was fully capable of making her own decisions. Dad is not able to make informed decisions.
She said it was next to impossible for him to get in and out of the car last night, so he isn't going anywhere by car.
She said he doesn't need anything this week.
Thank you all for letting me vent here.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Nov 20, 2019 10:47:33 GMT -5
Iggy- I was tempted to put up my Christmas tree too. I started the outdoor lights though. It will be very cold here by Black Friday which is when I usually start outside. I started a few weeks ago when I noticed a lot of my neighbors had also started the outdoor displays. I have decisions to make though - we pulled out a lot of out front landscaping so I have no place to put my net lights. I have 4 large blue spruce trees I usually decorate, and one of the smaller ones is done so far. My DH thought I was nuts - he said to wait and he will help me. I was thinking yeah, he doesn't usually help me, but then I decided he is a little inconsistent - but he does often help. DH has a long list of things to do though that I can't do - so I will at least get the lower parts of the trees/smaller trees done on my own.
Chloe, I am worried about your stress level - I read of your two jobs and the confrontation with a coworker yesterday and thought your employer is putting too much stress on you. You could end up with a nervous breakdown if you are not careful.
Iggy - I did not catch that you are having issues at work too - good luck resolving it.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Nov 20, 2019 10:58:35 GMT -5
Big hugs. I am so sorry you’re feeling helpless. ❤️ What a system failure that you can’t make him move, even with medical professionals recommending it. What are your sister’s thoughts on his refusal? I only talked to my niece last night. She was quite upset and I'm guessing my sister is, too. The director of assisted living did get him to agree to have meals delivered from the dining room on the weekend. She got him to say he would eat one meal a day. He won't remember he agreed to that. The use of the wheel chair was quite telling. He has always refused it. Tried to refuse the wheel chair when he had his pacemaker battery replaced but hospital wouldn't let him. I don't know what we can do. I don't know what it would cost to go to court, but I don't think he has that much time left. Theo - I am sorry. Sometimes I hesitate to point this out to people, but just as my Dad entered Hospice, I read that most people that go on Hospice, only last about two weeks after they enter the Hospice Program. When I read that, I decided that I would try to visit my Dad every Day while he was in Hospice, b/c it likely would only be for a short time. If I remember correctly he lasted 10 days.
With the evidence that your Dad is much weaker - the end may be nearer that you think, so I would spend as much time as I could with him.
Also, my Dad was bi-polar, and my Brother really had a way to talk to Dad when he seemed to be Manic. DB would talk to him about how he was feeling and maybe he should check himself into the hospital so he could get his meds adjusted and his thoughts would stop racing etc. My Dad would agree to do what DB was suggesting. So maybe ask your Dad about his weakness and if he is afraid of falling, and being injured, or not being able to get up. My Mom wanted my Dad at the monitored Hospice facility so that if he was in pain, Meds could be administered right away without waiting for personnel to get to the house.
But if you can not convince him, just know that you did everything you could for him, and you are following his wishes.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 20, 2019 12:02:25 GMT -5
There is only in home hospice here.
Dad has said that if he falls, he just wants to lay there and die.
Mom was in hospice for 5 months. She actually improved with their assistance. When she declined the second time, that was it.
Dad hasn't been eating for at least 3 weeks now.
Hospice has not formally accepted dad.
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snapdragon
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Post by snapdragon on Nov 20, 2019 13:53:14 GMT -5
There is only in home hospice here. Dad has said that if he falls, he just wants to lay there and die. Mom was in hospice for 5 months. She actually improved with their assistance. When she declined the second time, that was it. Dad hasn't been eating for at least 3 weeks now. Hospice has not formally accepted dad. Sending Hugs. It can be very emotionally draining dealing with older relatives.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 20, 2019 18:19:55 GMT -5
Niece just called and they are taking dad to the ER. He was unable to walk and he can't see anything. The director of the facility was there and thought he might have had a stroke. The only positive to this is, if he survives and out of the hospital, they probably won't let him return to living alone. That is how my aunt ended up in a nursing home.
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plugginaway22
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Post by plugginaway22 on Nov 20, 2019 18:23:12 GMT -5
I am SO sorry TheO, maybe this will be the event that results in the much needed change to his living arrangements.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Nov 20, 2019 19:20:32 GMT -5
Niece just called and they are taking dad to the ER. He was unable to walk and he can't see anything. The director of the facility was there and thought he might have had a stroke. The only positive to this is, if he survives and out of the hospital, they probably won't let him return to living alone. That is how my aunt ended up in a nursing home. Oh No! I'm so sorry and hoping for the best for you and your family.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Nov 21, 2019 0:47:14 GMT -5
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