How to amicably split finances...

[tallguy]

Jul 26, 2018 10:27:22 GMT -5 emma1420 said:

It always makes me laugh when it's suggested that someone move to the midwest for a lower cost of living.

Yes, it is lower cost, but these mythical 100K houses don't exist unless you go out to some of the most rural places.  I live in KC metro, and the average home price in my area is 345k.   Less than 10% of the listings in my county are priced at 200K or less.  And wages are lower.

I think the KC metro is pretty typical of most small/medium midwest cities.   And there is a pretty significant trade off.  For example, we have no real public transportation, job opportunities can be limited in certain areas, and at least in my experience it's a tougher place to live if you aren't white, married, have kids, and don't believe in God.

That seemed a bit off, so I did a search of four or five different sites.  None of them had the average price in the Kansas City metro area over $200,000.  Data may not be up-to-the-minute, but it is pretty current.  Either way, there are a lot of cities where the average price is under $150,000, and some where it is under $100,000.  Decent houses can probably be had for even less.  I am in Seattle, and my assessed value goes up $100,000/year.  Market value has been increasing at least that much.  You can probably get a large, nice place with land almost anywhere in the Midwest for what a teardown will cost you here. 

[swamp]

Jul 26, 2018 11:27:35 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I think most of you are forgetting that TheHaitian and his wife have reasons for wanting to stay in the area where they live.  They have family in the Northeast that they visit with. This seems to be particularly true of Carl with all his cousins.

They'd be pretty isolated in Middle America or the South (except for Florida).  They are Haitian-Americans, which is differently culturally from being African-American.

I have a huge support system where I am.  Why would I disrupt it? 

[hoops902]

Jul 26, 2018 11:27:35 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I think most of you are forgetting that TheHaitian and his wife have reasons for wanting to stay in the area where they live.  They have family in the Northeast that they visit with. This seems to be particularly true of Carl with all his cousins.

They'd be pretty isolated in Middle America or the South (except for Florida).  They are Haitian-Americans, which is differently culturally from being African-American.

I don't know if anyone is necessarily "forgetting" it.  There are choices and priorities to make in life.  They seem SUPER set on living above their means...one way to do that is to live in a lower cost of living area.  You can't just say "I'm not going to make a lot of money, but I'm going to live in a HCOLA, I'm going to spend lots of money on wants, and it's all just going to work itself out".  People have been trying to get them to understand the spending aspect for a while now...maybe offering up another solution either sounds good to them, or reinforces that they want to stay where they're at and need to make other changes.  

Lots of people don't live in huge areas where they are culturally similar to lots of people around them.  They make it work because they've made a decision on their priorities.

[Lizard Queen]

Jul 26, 2018 11:27:35 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I think most of you are forgetting that TheHaitian and his wife have reasons for wanting to stay in the area where they live.  They have family in the Northeast that they visit with. This seems to be particularly true of Carl with all his cousins.

They'd be pretty isolated in Middle America or the South (except for Florida).  They are Haitian-Americans, which is differently culturally from being African-American.

I'm not forgetting.  I haven't once said he should move.  There was a reason they wanted DC from Boston (or wherever they used to be), and that was for his wife's job prospects.  Maybe if she insists on going the doctorate in theology route, they really should move somewhere really cheap. 



I'm just arguing about the claim about Midwest housing prices. 

[Deleted]

Jul 26, 2018 11:45:09 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Jul 26, 2018 11:27:35 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

I think most of you are forgetting that TheHaitian and his wife have reasons for wanting to stay in the area where they live.  They have family in the Northeast that they visit with. This seems to be particularly true of Carl with all his cousins.

They'd be pretty isolated in Middle America or the South (except for Florida).  They are Haitian-Americans, which is differently culturally from being African-American.

I'm not forgetting.  I haven't once said he should move.  There was a reason they wanted DC from Boston (or wherever they used to be), and that was for his wife's job prospects.  Maybe if she insists on going the doctorate in theology route, they really should move somewhere really cheap. 



I'm just arguing about the claim about Midwest housing prices. 

Me too.  And the lack of jobs for them in the Midwest. 

[emma1420]

Jul 26, 2018 11:29:23 GMT -5 tallguy said:

Jul 26, 2018 10:27:22 GMT -5 emma1420 said:

It always makes me laugh when it's suggested that someone move to the midwest for a lower cost of living.

Yes, it is lower cost, but these mythical 100K houses don't exist unless you go out to some of the most rural places.  I live in KC metro, and the average home price in my area is 345k.   Less than 10% of the listings in my county are priced at 200K or less.  And wages are lower.

I think the KC metro is pretty typical of most small/medium midwest cities.   And there is a pretty significant trade off.  For example, we have no real public transportation, job opportunities can be limited in certain areas, and at least in my experience it's a tougher place to live if you aren't white, married, have kids, and don't believe in God.

That seemed a bit off, so I did a search of four or five different sites.  None of them had the average price in the Kansas City metro area over $200,000.  Data may not be up-to-the-minute, but it is pretty current.  Either way, there are a lot of cities where the average price is under $150,000, and some where it is under $100,000.  Decent houses can probably be had for even less.  I am in Seattle, and my assessed value goes up $100,000/year.  Market value has been increasing at least that much.  You can probably get a large, nice place with land almost anywhere in the Midwest for what a teardown will cost you here. 

I used the Kansas City Realtor Association Market Report.  And I was using the county I live in (which makes up 25% of the population), rather than KCMO proper.  The average home price in Kansas City proper is about 200K (although housing stock tends to be either blighted and cheap or well over 200K).  

And I guess I always think of what sort of decent house you can buy for under 100K.  My definition of decent is a reasonably safe area that isn't a major fixer upper.  And I don't know that is a realistic ask in most places these days.  

[beergut]

Jul 26, 2018 9:27:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I always figured Pence was who the right really wanted in office so they hid him behind the obnoxious blowhard that would take away any attention from Pence and what he stood for and then get himself impeached.

 Pence was brought on to get the Christian Right's vote

[Deleted]

Jul 26, 2018 15:51:20 GMT -5 emma1420 said:

I used the Kansas City Realtor Association Market Report.  And I was using the county I live in (which makes up 25% of the population), rather than KCMO proper. The average home price in Kansas City proper is about 200K (although housing stock tends to be either blighted and cheap or well over 200K).

And I guess I always think of what sort of decent house you can buy for under 100K.  My definition of decent is a reasonably safe area that isn't a major fixer upper. And I don't know that is a realistic ask in most places these days.

Having checked out real estate in that market in mid-2015, I agree on the prices. New construction is all McMansions with 5 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms and the cheaper houses, even the ones in good areas and in good shape, have tiny rooms compared to what we're used to. DS lives in Des Moines and is talking about selling his house for $157K- built in 1928, some nice original woodwork but a scary basement, no garage, two small bedrooms on the main floor and a master suite (put in by the previous owner) upstairs. Hardly HGTV-ready except for "Fixer Upper". Having said that- we moved to the KC area from Bergen County, NJ and got twice the house at half the price. I changed jobs with no decrease in income so it worked very well for us. DS bought a house 3 years out of college and DDIL stays home with the kids. That would NOT have happened in NJ. He'd still be living with me, hiding out in his bedroom playing video games. Even if I could have loaned him the $100K down payment on a $500K house, how would he have gotten a $400K mortgage on an entry-level salary?

[lurkyloo]

Jul 26, 2018 9:27:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I always figured Pence was who the right really wanted in office so they hid him behind the obnoxious blowhard that would take away any attention from Pence and what he stood for and then get himself impeached.

I can believe this but cannot bring myself to like it.  Goddamn but 4 years is a LONG time.

[Deleted]

Jul 22, 2018 16:08:00 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Splitting his and hers is not a marriage in my opinion.  That is just being roommates.  But, to each his own i guess.

Lol

I'm free!😊

[zibazinski]

Jul 28, 2018 19:54:57 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Jul 26, 2018 9:27:19 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I always figured Pence was who the right really wanted in office so they hid him behind the obnoxious blowhard that would take away any attention from Pence and what he stood for and then get himself impeached.

I can believe this but cannot bring myself to like it.  Goddamn but 4 years is a LONG time.

8 years was torture

[zibazinski]

My friends in TN live in a McMansion and it was 310k. We aren’t talking backwoods here and their neighborhood is very diverse. The school are excellent and you’d be thought odd if you went the private school route. The town has everything someone who needs to spend money on available. Not everyone has to live in the cold weather to live well and affordable. If you don’t want 4700 sq ft you can spend less.