Apple
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Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Jan 22, 2018 12:14:45 GMT -5
I also, think, though, in this day and age, a non-ym approved pregnancy isn't the worst dumb thing a person can do. The fall out from driving drunk (like killing someone), drug addiction, or having sex with someone who isn't age of consent in a state with no romeo and juliet laws (like mine-hello sex offender label and ruined life), imvho, is far worse than pregnancy. So much this... I can have my current job as a single mother who got pregnant in high school. I could not have this job with: a felony, a drug addiction (if "caught", I'm subject to random drug testing), a DUI that resulted in a license suspension (again, if "caught", some people have kept their job, driving a government vehicle while suspended and just hoping no one puts the two together). I may have done something stupid, but there were no legal ramifications and I worked my ass off to manage the addition obstacles of single parenthood and get where I am.
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chapeau
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Post by chapeau on Jan 22, 2018 12:16:56 GMT -5
DD is 5, too, and understands, to some degree, money better than her dad. He’s a fast food, eating out junkie. I can leave his favorite food in the fridge for his lunch and he’d still rather grab a burger and fries. DD regularly says “no daddy, let’s eat at home.” She is very firm that she wants to go to the beach in the summer rather than eat at McDonsld’s today. Sort of boggles my mind, TBH, that she gets the idea that we can either do X or Y, but not both. She does get an allowance, which started the Saturday after her 5th birthday. She gets 1 quarter for each year old she is. 20% is for donating, and 40% goes to both savings and spending. Next year she gets 5 quarters and 5 nickels. She was desperate for a baby doll that wet its diaper, so that was what she saved her spending money for. Months of saving. When she was young, pre 2, we decided to take her to Disney before her 3rd birthday (we were also going for my 40th and my dad’s 80th). So we started saving our spare change in a jug. She got to put the quarters in the jug. Just before school started, DH took her and his daughter to the mall for back to school shopping. There’s a fountain there, where people throw coins. DH gave DD and DSD coins to throw in and make a wish. DD put hers in her pocket and said “no, daddy! Disney fund.” She reminds me of a cousin who used to lend her older brother money at ridiculous interest rates. And then she found out about compounding! Pretty sure at one point he owed her about a million bucks, since she compounded hourly. She was 8 or 9 at that point.
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simser
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Post by simser on Jan 22, 2018 18:30:48 GMT -5
I'm not sure I see much of a difference between giving a $2/week allowance, and giving a $7/week allowance and then calling $5 "rent". Clearly the money amounts probably don't matter. It's not a terrible idea, but it depends on your kids (and from what my mom says, you can know that about your child before age 5).
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 24, 2018 7:52:17 GMT -5
My kids were too clueless at 5 for this to have worked. Even though they both modeled, I just put their checks in the bank for them. They just thought modeling was fun. They got allowances starting in 6th grade when they were in magnet programs and grades counted heavily. DS started to ask about being paid for grades and if an A in an honors class or AP class counted double! DH at that time thought paying for grades was a good idea because school was their “job. Since I put away half of all money they both received as gifts for birthday and Christmas, this money was theirs to spend or save as they wished. DS of course saved his. Grades were every 6 weeks so it was a good bonus for them. No, I didn’t charge them rent.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jan 24, 2018 11:43:22 GMT -5
My kids were too clueless at 5 for this to have worked. Even though they both modeled, I just put their checks in the bank for them. They just thought modeling was fun. They got allowances starting in 6th grade when they were in magnet programs and grades counted heavily. DS started to ask about being paid for grades and if an A in an honors class or AP class counted double! DH at that time thought paying for grades was a good idea because school was their “job. Since I put away half of all money they both received as gifts for birthday and Christmas, this money was theirs to spend or save as they wished. DS of course saved his. Grades were every 6 weeks so it was a good bonus for them. No, I didn’t charge them rent. This is an interesting perspective.
My parents were both opposed to paying for grades. My mother was big on "A good job is its own reward". Dad felt like school, especially college, was another way of prolonging adolescence and delaying adulthood and paying your own way. At this point in my life I don't know if my mother really believed that or if it was another way to keep more money for themselves (after all, it was money they earned and it was their choice on how to spend it). As a reminder, we did get paid for chores, however starting at 13 I was responsible for paying for everything, clothes, extra curricular activities, etc. other than food, housing, health insurance and transportation to school. As a family we stopped taking vacations together because "we never appreciated what they gave us" and "they needed a vacation from us". Looking back I see it as a sad, sick situation given how much money they were earning at the time. It partially accounts for the family dysfunction.
I had to chuckle at your son's comment. It's true back in my day that the advanced/accelerated classes were not weighted more heavily than the "normal" classes for GPA for college acceptance. But we were also pretty lucky back then. In 1979 if one had a 3.5 GPA you only had to have a SAT of 400 to get into the UC system. We call the minimum score on the SAT "getting your name on the test correct".
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 28, 2024 23:32:38 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2018 12:53:41 GMT -5
I paid DS a CRAP TON of money to get good grades last year (second semester specifically). I was at my wits end trying to "help" him do well and it was not working and just driving me nuts. Finally I just said I'd give him $200 for every A and $ 100 for every B towards a computer. I ended up coughing up $1100 towards one he built himself. He knows it was a one time deal though. Now it's "if you don't keep your grades up, I'm taking access to your precious PC away". I just freaking lucked out I think because he learned how to stay on top of his classes in the semester of the bribe and Fall semester this year he did even better with no carrot, so it was worth it to me.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jan 24, 2018 16:59:43 GMT -5
We never paid our kids for good grades. They were praised and celebrated but not paid. Both were straight A students. They were grumpy sometimes when friends were getting money for lesser grades. But they didn't seem to need cash as an incentive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2018 17:21:39 GMT -5
We never paid our kids for good grades. They were praised and celebrated but not paid. Both were straight A students. They were grumpy sometimes when friends were getting money for lesser grades. But they didn't seem to need cash as an incentive. I can see both sides for why to do it and why not to. But, I'm kind of for "do whatever works". For some kids just getting good grades is reward enough, and some are afraid to get bad grades because there is punishment, but I remember when I was in high school I sure didn't care what my grades were. So much of the worked seemed pointless and stupid and I had other things I'd rather be spending my time on. I probably would have benefited from a paycheck for grades. High school sports are a good incentive for a lot of kids because they'll get kicked off the team if they can't keep their grades up, but my son is not into sports at all so that doesn't help. Paying for grades was my Hail Mary when I'd given up and it worked!
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jan 24, 2018 17:49:19 GMT -5
We never paid our kids for good grades. They were praised and celebrated but not paid. Both were straight A students. They were grumpy sometimes when friends were getting money for lesser grades. But they didn't seem to need cash as an incentive. I wasn't a straight A student. I think I was a 3.80 (4 As 2Bs most of the time). I remember coming home with 5 As and 1 B and feeling so happy and proud. When I showed my parents my report card I got the interrogation on why I got a B. I was crushed. I asked my mom about her grades and she turned away and said "As". I was pretty sure she was lying. I found out later Dad was a "C" student.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2018 13:32:39 GMT -5
We never paid for grades. My kids didn't have to work hard to get good grades so I would have been paying for something they just did. We did take them out to dinner to celebrate report cards, though. I might have done the same as you, minnesotapaintlady, under the circumstances you described. I think I mentioned on another thread that I paid my son $10 to learn to tie his shoes at an embarrassing age (8 or 9). It took him about 10 minutes to learn and collect, but his wife would probably be still tying them otherwise.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Jan 28, 2018 14:10:52 GMT -5
We never paid for grades. My kids didn't have to work hard to get good grades so I would have been paying for something they just did. We did take them out to dinner to celebrate report cards, though. I might have done the same as you, minnesotapaintlady, under the circumstances you described. Yes this is us too. The one thing we made a big fuss about was learning to swim. My kids got a cake and party when they were "pool proof". That is, we could throw them into a pool and they could make it to the side and climb out on their own. This was really important to us.
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irishpad
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Post by irishpad on Jan 29, 2018 0:00:00 GMT -5
Until I was about 9, we got a small allowance. My parents were farmers and also had dairy cows. So there was a lot of work that we did every day. Our parents decided to start paying us a monthly wage. This was about 1972 and my wage started out at $50/month. But with that money, we were responsible for several things: clothes, school lunch, any school/sport fees, savings, charitable giving, any other wants we had. We didn't have to pay rent or board. I felt it was a very good way to teach budgeting and financial priorities. One of the first things my brother and I saved up for was a 13" b/w tv. Used it for over 20 years!
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mamasita99
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Post by mamasita99 on Jan 29, 2018 9:03:26 GMT -5
My youngest has always had a quiet voice and was shy around adults. I told her I would pay her a quarter for each time during the day (in school) that she spoke to an adult with more than a 'yes' or 'no' response. She would report to me which adult she spoke to and what she said. I was hoping it make her more aware of conversation skills and would build her confidence in speaking, skills that would help her growing up. She still has a quiet voice, but she raises it when she needs to and is polite with adults
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 31, 2018 21:32:47 GMT -5
Grades and paying for them. That's how we ended up with a cat. in 5th grade DS1 wanted a cat so xH promised him a cat if he had an A for math on his next report card. Mind you this was the kid who at age 2.5/3yo toddled into the kitchen and asked me whether 3.2 was 5 and a few more of those questions. After a few yesses from me he said ok and walked off again. So there was nothing wrong with his math ability. What he did have problems with was handing in his homework... Well, that semester he didn't and we had a cat --- that DS loved dearly but mom got to care for.
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