Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Aug 2, 2017 1:44:50 GMT -5
I have a 3 ring binder in the kitchen cupboard labeled "IF I DIE" It has all the account/life insurance info and DS knows where it is. If? I love your positive outlook that it may not ever happen. We also have a 3-ring binder with all of our account info. in it. But right now the person we have as our beneficiary (if we both die at the same time) won't have any problem finding it. She can sniff out money even if it's only mentioned on paper she's so greedy! I may need to rethink her being my "right to die" advocate. I mentioned pulling the plug if I can't do certain things on my own and she may decipher that a little differently than I had intended.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 2, 2017 1:47:14 GMT -5
My daughter is signatory on all my accounts and my attorney and daughter have copies of my will and a listing of all valuables, their appraisals (if applicable), and their locations. Daughter also has a durable POA and passwords to all relevant data online.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 2, 2017 3:20:36 GMT -5
After the talk I had with the attorney when I was considering doing a will and I was needing to name a guardian for DD I swore then and there I wasn't dying because I didn't like the options he gave me. DD is grown and married now so I can maybe consider dying now but when she was younger, nope, not doing it. I was told by the attorney that it didn't matter who I named as a guardian the courts would probably send her to Mexico to live with her father who hadn't seen her since she was an infant. He said what he usually saw happen in those circumstances is that the United States family would reach an out of court settlement with the Mexico family, usually involving money, so the child could stay in the United States. At the time it freaked me out but now as I reflect on it her Dad probably would have signed any papers so she could stay in the states. He does value education and the fact that it is safer here. I don't have a will for that reason too. The only reason I can think to have one is to name guardians and they'd go to their Dad's whether I liked it or not. I do think I might talk to an attorney about a trust of some kind so I could at least control the distribution of the funds a little from the grave. I did that. The only money my ex could get would have been the survivors benefit from social security. The rest of the money wasn't to be distributed until they were 30.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Aug 2, 2017 4:25:50 GMT -5
When I did my will, I had the money go to a trust that my sister would control. I also put desired guardianship. Any "raise the son money" would also be controlled by my sister. I did this to help discourage my ex taking custody just so he and his family could get access to the money. Now that my son is 18 and fairly financially smart, most of the money is set to go directly to him, and he'll have my family to get advice from (I also plan to talk to him before too long, and let him know how I think he should do some stuff, setting himself up right away, as well as long term.)
I know in Oregon the child goes to the other parent, then the state, then other family members. Hopefully with easy-ride money removed, the ex wouldn't try to take him, and the state would follow my wishes, especially seeing as my chosen guardian was well employed, etc. The ex-in-laws live off the government, and I'd hope the state would want to avoid feeding into the welfare system even more when there is a clear choice that doesn't do that.
I'm just glad I made it to see my son's 18th birthday, so no more fears there.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Aug 2, 2017 6:06:30 GMT -5
I've been organizing my father's assets so that they can all pass outside of probate. Below some anecdotal info that might help anyone as you go through identifying and organizing an aged parent's assets.
-We have use of a living trust, POD/beneficiary designations and checking held jointly.
NOTE: A word of caution. Many investment/banking firms require that your POA be reviewed and approved based on the opinion of their legal department. If it is more than a few years old, it's authenticity might have to be notarized again. We had Dad's signature notarized on a additional page to verify the authenticity of the POA(created in 2005).
-One of the financial institutions would allow me to open a new account for him but said that I didn't have the authority to assign a beneficiary based on the lack of that instruction in the POA. It wasn't explicitly stated in the POA. We managed to have him to do that on his own but it was unanticipated.
-It has taken many months to straighten all of this out in what is a relatively simple estate(no real estate, a total of 3 assets).
-I was told by an attorney that we could forgo probating the will if there weren't any assets that were held in his name only. Meaning assets that haved no beneficiary designation, joint ownership or are held in the trust. This means anything that would require letters of testamentary to facilitate transfer after death would require the will to be probated.
-Also was told that it is best to have the original copy of the will on hand.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2017 7:22:29 GMT -5
I have a binder at home with my will, trust, healthcare POA, etc. Periodically I send out a Word document with info on all my accounts (3 brokerages plus checking account) with account numbers and contact info. I suppose I should supplement that with a list of regular bills such as the mortgage, credit cards, utilities, etc. I send it to DS and to my brother, who would be a successor trustee.
Someday I should update my documents- they all provide for a smooth transition in the event of DH's death since it was very likely I'd outlive him, but it would be cleaner. I just hate paying another legal bill.
One note: apparently when a death gets into the SS death database (funeral directors have to report them), some financial institutions are plugged into it. Bank of America contacted me about DH's checking account before I had a chance to contact them.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Aug 2, 2017 8:22:50 GMT -5
I need to put something together. I have my moms account numbers with her instructions to clean out her account as soon as I hear she's dead. Now that my kids are almost both beyond 18, we really need to update our will...maybe next year.
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Aug 2, 2017 8:33:28 GMT -5
My mother passed away in May and I'm discovering the importance of beneficiaries. I am on her fidelity account and getting the money was easy. No one is on her CD's and we have to go to probate court.
Some ways you may find out about insurance or accounts is if they get a bill or statement after dying.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 2, 2017 8:57:45 GMT -5
If I avoid thinking about it for 5 more years, the kids will be adults. If my DH and I go down together, we are leaving quite a chore. My family is smart, reasonable and responsible so they would figure out the money. I do worry about guardians. When they were little, I knew my sister would take them and it would be fine (probably great.) But now that my kids are teenagers and my sister and I have such different beliefs, it would be a shock for my kids to have to adjust. I have recently wondered if we should ask my husband's brother if he would move into our house and just make sure the kids don't go off the rails until geaduation.
Or, I will just stay in denial.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 2, 2017 9:02:47 GMT -5
I'm thinking old-timey treasure map.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 2, 2017 9:08:38 GMT -5
My parents don't want to say anything. They figure one will surely die before the other, and that person will know where everything is. My wife's parents have everything listed with a financial advisor, and have mentioned on multiple occasions that if anything happens to them, the advisor has everything we'll need. Her parents have been through a lot more of relatives dying and having to track that stuff down and the pain it becomes, while my parents haven't had anyone pass that would have had any money left over to pass on.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Aug 2, 2017 9:12:43 GMT -5
My mother passed away in May and I'm discovering the importance of beneficiaries. I am on her fidelity account and getting the money was easy. No one is on her CD's and we have to go to probate court. Some ways you may find out about insurance or accounts is if they get a bill or statement after dying. Sorry to hear that Ken. That is the scenario that I'm trying to avoid. But, often, you just won't figure it out until after the parent passes. Condolences on losing your Mom.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Aug 2, 2017 10:07:25 GMT -5
If it's just me that goes my DH will have a lot of accounts to track down, but he is listed as beneficiary and knows where we store important docs. If both of us go, it's going to be a mess. My sisters are both terrible with money so I would like to set something up to make sure the money stretches for DS and D?.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 2, 2017 11:37:45 GMT -5
I'm not.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 2, 2017 11:52:42 GMT -5
When mom died, I got the task of getting her name off all the accounts with dad and changing the beneficiaries on his life insurance with his former employer and his IRA.
It was emotionally difficult for me. I made a list of all their accounts, etc. but I found I could only handle a few calls a day.
Dad wanted the beneficiaries changed immediately but we had to wait for death certificates to arrive. Luckily for us, neither place needed an original.
Mom and dad had sold their house when they moved to independent living so no real estate to sell. Only money that might be an issue is he/we get 85% of the money paid for the independent living apartment when he moves out. Don't know how it will be titled. We are trying to avoid probate. Everything else will avoid probate per the bank.
Car is gone. Just household goods to divide or donate.
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Aug 2, 2017 12:35:34 GMT -5
When mom died, I got the task of getting her name off all the accounts with dad and changing the beneficiaries on his life insurance with his former employer and his IRA. It was emotionally difficult for me. I made a list of all their accounts, etc. but I found I could only handle a few calls a day. Dad wanted the beneficiaries changed immediately but we had to wait for death certificates to arrive. Luckily for us, neither place needed an original. Mom and dad had sold their house when they moved to independent living so no real estate to sell. Only money that might be an issue is he/we get 85% of the money paid for the independent living apartment when he moves out. Don't know how it will be titled. We are trying to avoid probate. Everything else will avoid probate per the bank. Car is gone. Just household goods to divide or donate. You might want to confirm what the bank told you with an attorney who specializes in estate planning. Bank employees aren't legal experts. The bank and bank employees can't be held accountable for the accuracy of the advice they give. An attorney can.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 2, 2017 13:50:22 GMT -5
I'm an ostrich with my head in the sand. I need a notebook like MPL, but I keep procrastinating. There won't be much to be had, but I really do need to have a list of the accounts, numbers, passwords, etc. But I don't want to, I don't want to think about that, but I know that I REALLY need to do it. I feel that if I do, I'm jinxing myself, which is funny because I have a list at work of things for the "in case I get hit by a bus". Same. I need to get everything together and give the information to my parents. I'll share info with the girls when they're responsible enough to handle money like that.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 2, 2017 17:24:44 GMT -5
When mom died, I got the task of getting her name off all the accounts with dad and changing the beneficiaries on his life insurance with his former employer and his IRA. It was emotionally difficult for me. I made a list of all their accounts, etc. but I found I could only handle a few calls a day. Dad wanted the beneficiaries changed immediately but we had to wait for death certificates to arrive. Luckily for us, neither place needed an original. Mom and dad had sold their house when they moved to independent living so no real estate to sell. Only money that might be an issue is he/we get 85% of the money paid for the independent living apartment when he moves out. Don't know how it will be titled. We are trying to avoid probate. Everything else will avoid probate per the bank. Car is gone. Just household goods to divide or donate. You might want to confirm what the bank told you with an attorney who specializes in estate planning. Bank employees aren't legal experts. The bank and bank employees can't be held accountable for the accuracy of the advice they give. An attorney can. All of dad's accounts except the IRA are in joint tenancy with my sister and me. Yes, we have signature authority and could wipe him out. Neither of us would do that. I keep the check book because that was mom's job. Dad would notice a huge amount leaving his account. The biggest expense he has had was new hearing aids for $5K. I put it on my credit card and wrote a check to myself when we got to his place. Dad signed the check and I showed sister receipt. She put his new glasses on his debit card so that was good. Otherwise he just has his normal monthly expenses every month. She is the executor, not me. She has already told me I have to make all the financial phone calls and the calls to let family know when he dies--just like I did for mom. She better not take an executor fee!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2017 19:07:39 GMT -5
I don't have a will for that reason too. The only reason I can think to have one is to name guardians and they'd go to their Dad's whether I liked it or not. I do think I might talk to an attorney about a trust of some kind so I could at least control the distribution of the funds a little from the grave. I did that. The only money my ex could get would have been the survivors benefit from social security. The rest of the money wasn't to be distributed until they were 30. I'd like to have it so it's doled out over time. Carrot's Dad would need some now for child care, more later for high school. After he turns 18, I'd want him to get his college funds, then later the retirement accounts. Older son only has 3 more years to go to 18. I could see just splitting his into a couple chunks. The college years and then the rest after he's more established and less of a risk of it all going to hookers and blow. He's actually pretty level headed with money and not much of a consumer, so I'm not real worried about him. The other one though, ack. I pretty much just cannot die for another 20 years until I'm sure he's ok.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 3, 2017 12:05:39 GMT -5
I have a folder with all the important info. Not just accounts, but bills, etc. The bills and things are important with DS still living at home for another year. Well, probably even after, since he'll have to decide if he wants to keep the house. I have printouts of the phone numbers to call to start the process of retrieving my retirement funds, pension payout, as well as life insurance (all through work). The printouts also have current monetary values (I replace the paperwork, if needed, once a year or so). I have bank statements printed that include phone numbers and bank account numbers for different accounts. I have printouts of my bills which have phone numbers and account numbers listed. My son is the beneficiary of everything, and since my sister works for the same major employer (different location), she can help him navigate the paperwork and tell him who exactly to talk to, etc, if they give him any runaround. Similar to this, I compiled the info onto a word document and gave DH and my sister each a copy. It contains a list of retirement, bank and insurance company names, phone numbers, and account numbers. DH is the primary beneficiary. Sis is 2nd in case DH and I die at the same time. I am a bad YMer, however: I don't yet have my will completed.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 3, 2017 19:05:42 GMT -5
Back in college when my dad and stepmom split, I told my dad he was not allowed to die for the next four months until my brother was 18. I did not want some mess where my mom was looking for money. I was in my junior year of college two hours away. Even though he was still in high school, I was relieved when he turned 18.
We know where's dad stuff is if he dies. After cleaning up behind his dad, he made very sure to organize it for me.
I don't have a list. DH works for the feds too and the same umbrella agency so he'd be able to find the life insurance, 401k and stuff. That's where most of my assets are at this point. I did have those all set to go to my dad before I was married. I knew my mom would blow it. I trusted dad to share it with my brother and it was easier to name one person.
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