beergut
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Post by beergut on Jul 31, 2017 16:39:29 GMT -5
Why does it matter? If Person A did something to offend her, fine, don't let her see Person A. Person B, Person C, and cousin M have no place in this dispute outside of my ex-sister-in-law's selfish need to punish everyone because she is angry.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Jul 31, 2017 16:42:24 GMT -5
Maybe Person A took something from her home. One never knows what will piss another off. Still irrelevant. Even if Person A stole something from her home, that has nothing to do with Persons B and C, or Cousin M. You cut Person A out of your life, that is your right, but to prevent your daughter other family members who had nothing to do with the dispute is simply selfish.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jul 31, 2017 16:42:47 GMT -5
Other than just telling us an interesting family disagreement, you have no place in this dispute. If you're looking to play referee or take steps to try to right what you perceive is a wrong, why does it matter?
Always be careful insinuating yourself into a family argument that doesn't involve you, best to stay on the sidelines....and go have a beer.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Jul 31, 2017 16:43:28 GMT -5
I don't know. It sounds petty, but hard to say what is all going on just from your take. Regardless, I'm sure the 9 year old will be fine not hanging out with her 4 year old cousin. Actually, she isn't, I found out about all of this when I asked the 9YO how her favorite cousin was doing.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Jul 31, 2017 16:49:08 GMT -5
Other than just telling us an interesting family disagreement, you have no place in this dispute. If you're looking to play referee or take steps to try to right what you perceive is a wrong, why does it matter? Always be careful insinuating yourself into a family argument that doesn't involve you, best to stay on the sidelines....and go have a beer. I'm not inserting myself in a family dispute, I'm just venting about the selfishness of my ex-SIL. Other than being a moderator on this board, you have no place in this discussion. Refrain from attempting to give advice, sit on the sidelines, read, and don't comment.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 31, 2017 17:01:36 GMT -5
If you post on the board, people can and will comment.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jul 31, 2017 17:02:15 GMT -5
Beer....when there is no "admin YM & YMOT" in back of my nickname or at the end of a post, I am here as you are, simply a member of this group. As you, I can post opinions or thoughts on any thread, so your attempts to remove me from this thread or any others is pointless.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 31, 2017 17:06:38 GMT -5
I don't know. It sounds petty, but hard to say what is all going on just from your take. Regardless, I'm sure the 9 year old will be fine not hanging out with her 4 year old cousin. Actually, she isn't, I found out about all of this when I asked the 9YO how her favorite cousin was doing. It's a sad situation but don't stir the pot. It makes the 9 year old feel bad.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 31, 2017 17:42:09 GMT -5
I don't know. It sounds petty, but hard to say what is all going on just from your take. Regardless, I'm sure the 9 year old will be fine not hanging out with her 4 year old cousin. Actually, she isn't, I found out about all of this when I asked the 9YO how her favorite cousin was doing. Yes, but she WILL be as long as it's not brought up.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 31, 2017 18:01:03 GMT -5
Why does it matter? If Person A did something to offend her, fine, don't let her see Person A. Person B, Person C, and cousin M have no place in this dispute outside of my ex-sister-in-law's selfish need to punish everyone because she is angry. Well, if the reason for her anger can be determined then just maybe the problem can be resolved. But guess that would be to easy and nothing left to rant about.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 31, 2017 18:17:37 GMT -5
IDK, as a mother, I can think of lots of reasons to cut people off: they don't respect my rules, they are a child molester, they keep unsecure guns around, they use drugs, they expose kids to inappropriate adult content, etc. If there is a chance this man that I don't want around me or my kid, would be hanging out while my daughter is, then it is time to end the relationship with the whole family. He is the second cousins grandpa, correct? He could come around unannounced.
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quince
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Post by quince on Jul 31, 2017 19:30:23 GMT -5
Or his daughter could nag me/my child about why we don't talk to her father. Even a whiff of someone inserting themselves in my business, especially potentially through my child would get them added to the "Not talking to you right now" list.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jul 31, 2017 20:07:23 GMT -5
IDK, as a mother, I can think of lots of reasons to cut people off: they don't respect my rules, they are a child molester, they keep unsecure guns around, they use drugs, they expose kids to inappropriate adult content, etc. If there is a chance this man that I don't want around me or my kid, would be hanging out while my daughter is, then it is time to end the relationship with the whole family. He is the second cousins grandpa, correct? He could come around unannounced. Hell, I'm not a mother and the first few reasons why I'd shut things down were those that you mentioned. As the OP has no idea why she is so angry, if she is otherwise a reasonable person, why not give the benefit of doubt and assume she has a very good reason. Otherwise, it really is NOYB.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 31, 2017 20:12:37 GMT -5
IDK, as a mother, I can think of lots of reasons to cut people off: they don't respect my rules, they are a child molester, they keep unsecure guns around, they use drugs, they expose kids to inappropriate adult content, etc. If there is a chance this man that I don't want around me or my kid, would be hanging out while my daughter is, then it is time to end the relationship with the whole family. He is the second cousins grandpa, correct? He could come around unannounced. Hell, I'm not a mother and the first few reasons why I'd shut things down were those that you mentioned. As the OP has no idea why she is so angry, if she is otherwise a reasonable person, why not give the benefit of doubt and assume she has a very good reason. Otherwise, it really is NOYB. According to the OP it doesn't matter why she is mad. At least that was his reply to my question. That alone says a lot!
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cktc
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Post by cktc on Aug 1, 2017 12:08:46 GMT -5
I'm having trouble following how these people are related. Are there no closer cousins for your niece?
Regardless, they are both still pretty young. Either this blows over in a couple years and they can continue their bond, or things remain strained and they will have had time to move on.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 1, 2017 13:06:00 GMT -5
I'm having trouble following how these people are related. Are there no closer cousins for your niece? Regardless, they are both still pretty young. Either this blows over in a couple years and they can continue their bond, or things remain strained and they will have had time to move on. I tried to do a flow chart and still had a hard time. But in my defense I am from almost non existent family (no living relatives except my son)
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Aug 1, 2017 18:03:03 GMT -5
Or his daughter could nag me/my child about why we don't talk to her father. Even a whiff of someone inserting themselves in my business, especially potentially through my child would get them added to the "Not talking to you right now" list. You think a 4 year old is going to know/care why someone isn't talking to her grandfather?
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Aug 1, 2017 18:11:14 GMT -5
I'm having trouble following how these people are related. Are there no closer cousins for your niece? Regardless, they are both still pretty young. Either this blows over in a couple years and they can continue their bond, or things remain strained and they will have had time to move on. I tried to do a flow chart and still had a hard time. But in my defense I am from almost non existent family (no living relatives except my son) My ex-sister-in-law has a sister. Her sister married a guy who already had a daughter from a previous marriage. This guy is who my ex-sister-in-law is angry with. This daughter from a previous marriage got married and has a daughter, cousin M. EX-SIL's daughter is my niece. My niece is close to cousin M. Ex-SIL is preventing her daughter from seeing cousin M because she is angry at her brother-in-law, which is cousin M's grandfather. I don't think this is THE issue, but I heard a story that SIL was already angry at her brother-in-law over an incident on a family trip to Disney. They all go to Disney World in Orlando and stay at a time share on her sister and brother-in-law's points. At some point, her brother-in-law buys some type of gift, a trinket, for his granddaughter, cousin M. My ex-SIL then is furious because he doesn't do the same thing for my niece, because that means she is showing favoritism towards cousin M. Get that? He is showing 'favoritism' toward his granddaughter? So my ex-SIL is angry at the person who brought her along to Orlando and allowed her to stay for free because he showed 'favoritism' toward his own granddaughter over her daughter. She actively looks for things to get upset over/reasons take take offense.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 18:21:34 GMT -5
She actively looks for things to get upset over/reasons take take offense. Sounds like somebody else we know. Break out the Frozen soundtrack and "Let it go, Let it go!"
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 1, 2017 18:23:56 GMT -5
cktc. See post #47 for family tree.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2017 19:53:25 GMT -5
I'm just looking at this from the perspective of a mother who has cut off contact of my kids with other kids before. I don't make a deal out of it, mainly we just do the fade out. My younger son has some first cousins that if it were up to me, he'd never see them and he didn't for years, but now that his Dad gets him every other weekend, I've lost some control there. I don't like the batshit crazy that is their parents, and they're on a path to being troubled themselves because of how they're growing up. Now, you seem to think you ex-SIL is the one that is batshit crazy, so maybe its better for the 4 year old to not be around that.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 2, 2017 6:30:18 GMT -5
I don't get why it's okay for others to rant about a situation that doesn't directly affect them, and beergut can't do the same without getting flack. He's just sharing his thoughts on a situation he doesn't like. He never said he was getting involved.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2017 7:25:06 GMT -5
I don't get why it's okay for others to rant about a situation that doesn't directly affect them, and beergut can't do the same without getting flack. He's just sharing his thoughts on a situation he doesn't like. He never said he was getting involved. And I'm just sharing MY thoughts on why she might be doing this. Cutting people out of your life is not always about being a stupid, selfish bitch, but he seems hung up on that being the only possible reason.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 2, 2017 9:12:57 GMT -5
I don't get why it's okay for others to rant about a situation that doesn't directly affect them, and beergut can't do the same without getting flack. He's just sharing his thoughts on a situation he doesn't like. He never said he was getting involved. Are you under the impression that other people don't get flack when people on this board disagree with them? Nobody is safe here!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2017 11:58:46 GMT -5
I'm guessing I'm considered snobby by a few family members too. The reason being that I would rather not add to the drama by telling them I don't like that they let all the kids tool around on 4-wheelers with no helmets unattended or that their crack whore SIL is always showing up and I don't want my kids around her. Sometimes it's just easier to be thought the snob then deal with family members that get all defensive about how THEY are parenting. I don't care what you are doing with YOUR kids, but I have a right to at least try and raise mine as I see fit.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Aug 2, 2017 15:07:45 GMT -5
IDK, as a mother, I can think of lots of reasons to cut people off: they don't respect my rules, they are a child molester, they keep unsecure guns around, they use drugs, they expose kids to inappropriate adult content, etc. If there is a chance this man that I don't want around me or my kid, would be hanging out while my daughter is, then it is time to end the relationship with the whole family. He is the second cousins grandpa, correct? He could come around unannounced. I was going to say something similar to this but let's hope it's something petty and it passes so these 2 little girls can play together again soon. Beer, if it's something petty I agree it's selfish of adults to ruin 2 little kids' fun being together - but we just don't know. Just hope it gets worked out or they grow up soon if it's something petty. If it's something serious like what gooddecisions said then you have to accept that parent's reasons. Well, you have to accept them regardless but you know what I mean!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 2, 2017 17:32:58 GMT -5
I'm guessing I'm considered snobby by a few family members too. The reason being that I would rather not add to the drama by telling them I don't like that they let all the kids tool around on 4-wheelers with no helmets unattended or that their crack whore SIL is always showing up and I don't want my kids around her. Sometimes it's just easier to be thought the snob then deal with family members that get all defensive about how THEY are parenting. I don't care what you are doing with YOUR kids, but I have a right to at least try and raise mine as I see fit. Definitely agree there.
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