Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 5, 2017 11:37:11 GMT -5
What did the one hat say to the other hat?
You stay here, I'll go on a head.
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Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 5, 2017 20:49:18 GMT -5
What does it mean when a woman has a man in her bed breathing heavy and screaming her name?
She didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 23, 2024 10:26:01 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 21:42:42 GMT -5
Q: What's the proper way to celebrate Cinco De Mayo?
A: Throw a bottle of Hellman's or Duke's into the nearest river...
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NoNamePerson
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Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 7, 2017 19:14:31 GMT -5
I know I have amnesia.
But I can't remember where I put it.
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wyouser
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on May 8, 2017 11:30:55 GMT -5
When is it a retiree's bedtime?.......3 hours after he fell asleep on the couch........
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 8, 2017 16:21:36 GMT -5
Do you want to hear a construction joke?
Hold on, I am still working on it.
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wyouser
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
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Post by wyouser on May 9, 2017 11:41:24 GMT -5
Age, is an issue of mind over matter......If YOU don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 9, 2017 20:18:40 GMT -5
What do you do with epileptic lettuce?
You make a seizure salad
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wyouser
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on May 10, 2017 9:55:22 GMT -5
What happens when it rains carts and dogs?...........You can step in a poodle!
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on May 11, 2017 10:23:05 GMT -5
Why did the snowman name his dog "Frost?"...........Because "frost" bites........
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 13, 2017 0:48:19 GMT -5
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 15, 2017 11:33:07 GMT -5
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on May 15, 2017 12:08:28 GMT -5
Be nice to your kids.....they get to choose your retirement home!!
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 15, 2017 16:05:33 GMT -5
Do you know how to make an egg roll?
Just push it
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on May 18, 2017 23:30:42 GMT -5
A red and a blue ship have just crashed together in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
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tigerpause
Junior Associate
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Post by tigerpause on May 27, 2017 2:51:05 GMT -5
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humphrey.
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wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on May 29, 2017 5:14:10 GMT -5
Why are there fences and gates at cemetaries? Because people are just dying to get in..............................
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 31, 2017 8:08:06 GMT -5
What did the duck say when purchasing lip stick?
Put it on my bill
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on May 31, 2017 10:10:54 GMT -5
Why did the zombie go to the music store?
he wanted to buy some organs
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Rob Base 2.0
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Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jun 1, 2017 11:29:34 GMT -5
How do you create light with water?
Clean the windows
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 1, 2017 16:54:35 GMT -5
How do you create light with water? Clean the windows You move when the Windows need cleaning.
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wyouser
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Jun 3, 2017 6:03:11 GMT -5
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
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wyouser
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
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Post by wyouser on Jun 4, 2017 5:05:46 GMT -5
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Jun 4, 2017 7:41:21 GMT -5
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 4, 2017 8:11:17 GMT -5
What did the birdy say when it flew over wal-mart?
cheap cheap cheap!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 4, 2017 8:12:30 GMT -5
I went up to the counter at the 7-11 with a box of Morton and a Duracell.
I was charged with a salt and battery.
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
Joined: Sept 3, 2011 10:28:25 GMT -5
Posts: 15,587
Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Jun 5, 2017 1:39:14 GMT -5
A limbo player walks into a bar... He lost.
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wyouser
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Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
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Post by wyouser on Jun 8, 2017 9:00:38 GMT -5
It is written that men have only 2 emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection........make him a sandwich.....
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 23, 2024 10:26:01 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 22:40:42 GMT -5
Question: What goes (very faintly) "vfzfzfzfzfzfzfzfzfzt" and smells like cheese? Answer: Mouse farts
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 9, 2017 6:59:31 GMT -5
Question: What goes (very faintly) "vfzfzfzfzfzfzfzfzfzt" and smells like cheese? Answer: Mouse farts Did not see that one coming
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