GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 9, 2016 0:37:59 GMT -5
At the risk of sounding trite and cliche, it is true that "life is what happens when you are making other plans". Sometimes, through no real fault of our own, life goes wildly off-track and all we can do is hang on for dear life. I'm in that position as well between the issues we're having getting the repairs to our house finished and dealing with the Bozoes who completely mis-managed this nightmare from the get-go. It is totally unfair that DH and I have to hire an attorney (maybe 2!) to get people to do their damn jobs and do them competently, but it is what it is. Add in the crap from self-centered,!impatient, neighbors plus the cost of college tuition for 2 kids, and there are days that we are ready to say "f" it to financial responsibility. I'm sorry others are also facing extraordinary financial difficulties but am very grateful so many here understand that, sometimes, "shit happens" to even the most responsible of us.
Hugs all around and sincere wishes for a break in your favor.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Dec 9, 2016 8:21:16 GMT -5
ShanendoaH, I can understand the fears of ending up old, broke and bankrupt. However, given who and what you two are, the kind of people and the type of lives you lead, I just cannot see that happening. But I also know how hard it can be to keep the faith in a time of crisis, how hard it can be to hold on when your daily life feels like a bad nightmare and there is nothing to hold on to. It is at these times that the habits and the values that we practice will see us through.
I can understand the reluctance to incur interest but at this point in time retaining some cash could be extremely valuable. In the big picture of your lives and finances, few bucks paid in interest over several months, or even a few years, will not break you. But having zero cash in hand could have a significant negative impact.
I think you both need to feel good about the fact that you had savings when this crisis hit. Also, you should feel good about the fact that you have made it about six months in the eye of this storm without incurring CC interest. However, IMHO, it may be time to stop,worrying about that.
You have dug yourself out of a financial hole before and therefore, I know you can do it again. You may not want to - none of us want to - but when the time comes you can and will do it. Just hang in for now and keep on keeping on.
I read this as kind of a joke many years ago but the older I get, the more truth I see in it. "My favorite Bible passage? '... and it came to pass.' Thankfully it's not '... and it came to stay.'"
Sending lots of love and support, hugs and prayers for you and your DH.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Dec 9, 2016 9:46:03 GMT -5
I hope 2017 is better for you shanendoah. The waiting and having no control over it would drive me absolutely insane. I hate those situations more than anything. Ditto all of this. I was thinking about you recently, shanendoah, and wondering how things were going, so thanks for giving us an update. I'm hoping 2017 brings a resolution to everything you're going through, and you all can catch a break.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 9, 2016 10:15:31 GMT -5
I just want to whine too. It looks like me taking immunology in the spring is out. Apparently the "free" education when you work here is not FREE. Why they don't explain that in orientation when they discuss the perk I have no idea. It's when you get half way thru the application process you find out that UNMC only pays the tuition part, you are still responsible for all the fees to take the class which can range anywhere from $200-$500 per class.
The plan was I was going to charge it and use money from FIL for Christmas to pay that charge off at least.
BUT we got the loan paperwork for the house and it turns out buried in the stack of paper is the fact we have to pay $350 to get the loan processed. That cannot be wrapped up in our closing costs at the end it has to be paid upfront.
So that will have to go on the CC and I will have to use the money from FIL to pay that charge off instead.
DH was upset because he wants me to take the class. I told him something has to give somewhere. I still have almost $200 in medical bills just for him to pay off this year and another $2600 next year for his surgery. We have not found a new daycare for Abby so we're still paying $750 a month. We already have $2500 on the card again already. There's just no room for me to take immunology.
Maybe we'll be in a better spot for me to register in the fall. Now that I know the "free college" thing is a bunch of BS I can look into financial aid. I probably won't get anything but maybe they'd give me a small bit that would be enough to cover fees. At any rate now I am better prepared and we can scrape together the fees rather than charge them.
He thinks we could use his IRA money for the fee. IDK because it's not technically the downpayment or closing costs. If the money is not for that we get slammed with penalties. Plus this is ALL he has for retirement because he's an idiot like most of America. I don't want him to take out anymore than we absolutely have to.
I would prefer not to touch it AT ALL but my parents sped up the time table for buying the house thanks to their stupid financial decisions. It's either we buy now or start looking for another house so either way we'd be looking at either buying or facing $800+ in rent a month. I would have preferred to wait a year or two so we could get on better footing. We were planning to do this last year but I lost my job and then DH was unemployed/under employed half of this year.
We were going to buy the house that part I am not annoyed with. I am annoyed with having to do this on my parents' timeline. Which as YM would say that is what we get for making a deal with family.
It's a good deal and at the end of it all we will come out ahead. I just don't like how we are getting there.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Dec 9, 2016 12:28:20 GMT -5
Sorry Shanen. I hope this resolves quick for you.
Our savings hasn't bounced back real well after our move. Having a car die on us didn't help. While I still probably make too many stupid financial decisions, I try to focus on the fact my retirement is going well and I can control that. The rest, well, we'll get there when we get there.
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WholeLottaNothin
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Dec 9, 2016 13:42:36 GMT -5
This year has been bad for us too. Other than 2006 when I had cancer for the 2nd time and the chemo, stem cell transplant, radiation that goes with it and then having my father drop dead that summer, this is the worst year I've had. I'm glad the year is almost over. I'm looking at some unpleasant things in 2017 but hopefully overall it will be a better and quieter year overall.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Dec 9, 2016 17:16:27 GMT -5
I am glad to have people to commiserate with, though sad that so many of you are also having bad years. I am ready for 2016 to be over (unless I can suddenly wake up back in June to find out that last 6 months have just been a terrible nightmare), and have hopes that 2017 will be better, not just for me, but for everyone.
NomoreDramaQ1015 - I totally understand on the free education part. I supposedly have it to, but it won't pay for any programs that are run out of our Professional & Continuing Education program - which covers pretty much all certificate programs, 60-80% of the masters programs on campus, and about 90% of the evening classes. Which means that in order to take a "free" class, I would have to do it during my normal working hours. In addition, if I want to take the class on my free benefit, I can't actually register for it. I have to simply show up on the first day of class, talk to the professor, and hope they let me in. I am pretty certain I am also responsible for fees. This also means that I can't actually be accepted into a degree seeking program while using the benefit. So while I occasionally think about taking some accounting classes (since I have an MBA, and forensic accounting actually seems pretty cool to me), it isn't a realistic idea.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 9, 2016 17:37:01 GMT -5
I don't think any year could be worse than 2015. Money woes come and go. Do you still have your loved ones? I'd give anything to have mine.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Dec 9, 2016 17:56:11 GMT -5
I'm sorry shane. Our year has been a financial train wreck too, because of DD's illness. I hope things get better for you sooner rather than later.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Dec 10, 2016 22:08:59 GMT -5
Just remember shit years get better. 2016 was the first year of my 11 year marriage that something big didn't happen. We didn't get married, change jobs, have kids, move, have surgery, no one died* or anything. It took 11 years to have one calm one. But hey we are enjoying it. * hopefully I am not jinxing myself here. My Grandma was just hospitalized with a broken pelvis. she has not done well this year.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 10, 2016 22:24:02 GMT -5
Drama, if you receive a tax refund, can you set some of that money aside for the fall classes? That way you wouldn't have to put it on the CC.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 10, 2016 22:55:25 GMT -5
Actually FIL gave us one of DH's saving bonds worth $2K. DH told me to take $212 for my class.
The rest will go into savings because we need liquid assets really bad. Part of me wants to use it to pay down the credit card but I remind myself if I do that I've solved nothing because we'll just have to run it up again.
We decided to go ahead and do 10% down on the house after reading our loan paperwork. That is more out of the ira but we think it'll pay off in the long run.
Depending on our refund the plan is to open a Roth with $3K to replace about half of the retirement money.
Hoping we make the December 31St closing date. Itd be nice to be able to deduct all this in March.
Right now the highest priority is fixing our liquid cash problem. Then we can focus on the long term. My retirement account is untouched and we need to find out what happened to his profit shares from his former company.
So we're still in better shape than most Americans. It just doesn't feel that way lately.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 10, 2016 23:27:18 GMT -5
So we're still in better shape than most Americans. It just doesn't feel that way lately. This is so true. I have always promised myself that my kids would have a better/different childhood than I had and so far I have. They have a decent place, no living in tents, cars, travel trailers. That have never been hungry because I didn't have food in the house. They have never had to live without electricity, running water, etc. So as much as I struggle sometimes, it is still a better life than I had. And a better life than many in my own community have. Sometimes I really need a kick in the butt to remember this instead of feeling sorry for myself.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 10, 2016 23:37:58 GMT -5
Wow. It sounds like you are going thru a lot with a lot of unforseen expenses. Not sure what you can do about that. I don't know what is going on, but hopefully you can get this resolved. At this point it sounds like you need to just cut your expenses to the bone and work as much OT as you can to just bridge the gap till things improve.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Dec 11, 2016 0:34:08 GMT -5
I keep thinking about this topic and I am trying to formulate a cohesive idea .
I think the real issue underneath all of this is that the economy really has not recovered as much as is being touted and I do not think it ever will. So many mid-range jobs have been lost and they will never return. Budgets keep getting tighter because prices keep inching up despite the fact that we have no "inflation." In some places home prices are again at levels that are unsustainable. We also have an aging population that is used to health and wealth.
I'd love to hear what all of you are thinking because I do not think that the problem is that we as a group are not prepared. If anything this group is better able to withstand periods of unemployment and underemployment due to savings and cautious spending.
ETA - please let me know,if I should delete this and/or make a new topic.
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Dec 11, 2016 1:36:40 GMT -5
I keep thinking about this topic and I am trying to formulate a cohesive idea . I think the real issue underneath all of this is that the economy really has not recovered as much as is being touted and I do not think it ever will. So many mid-range jobs have been lost and they will never return. Budgets keep getting tighter because prices keep inching up despite the fact that we have no "inflation." In some places home prices are again at levels that are unsustainable. We also have an aging population that is used to health and wealth. I'd love to hear what all of you are thinking because I do not think that the problem is that we as a group are not prepared. If anything this group is better able to withstand periods of unemployment and underemployment due to savings and cautious spending. ETA - please let me know,if I should delete this and/or make a new topic. Sarah, I think you pretty much nailed it. I'm not looking to sell my house, but my house is worth about $10,000 more than what I paid for it and I've lived here for 23 years. The neighborhood is mostly rentals now. My wages have not kept up with the cost of food, insurance (health and car), etc. It's hard to save when someone who has an education (non STEM) but the jobs are not available. It's not as easy as some people think to just pick up and move to a larger city, when the cost of living in a larger city is more than where they are currently living and the pay scale does not make up the difference.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Dec 11, 2016 12:05:55 GMT -5
Sarah did nail it for me as well. I'm getting more available cash now, but prices have shot right up so high. I'm so thankful I have WIR and I addressed this in 2012 with myself.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2016 16:34:43 GMT -5
I keep thinking about this topic and I am trying to formulate a cohesive idea . I think the real issue underneath all of this is that the economy really has not recovered as much as is being touted and I do not think it ever will. So many mid-range jobs have been lost and they will never return. Budgets keep getting tighter because prices keep inching up despite the fact that we have no "inflation." In some places home prices are again at levels that are unsustainable. We also have an aging population that is used to health and wealth. I'd love to hear what all of you are thinking because I do not think that the problem is that we as a group are not prepared. If anything this group is better able to withstand periods of unemployment and underemployment due to savings and cautious spending. ETA - please let me know,if I should delete this and/or make a new topic. I take-home less than I did in 2008, but everything is higher. You are absolutely right.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 11, 2016 17:17:59 GMT -5
I think that you just need to take a step back and look at the long term. What is the most likely scenario going forward. Not what you wish would happen but an honest assessment. I don't know anything about your situation. Sounds like you previously sold your house and now are in a new place? Is it less expensive than the prior place? Sometimes you have to get radical about debt. Going forward what is going to serve you best. If you only have $1300 left, that is getting pretty thin. Do you have retirement accounts you could draw on? I am not recommending that but if you only have $1300 left including all your accounts then you may need to make some radical changes. If you believe this situation will resolve itself and you can get by, then do that.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2016 9:39:30 GMT -5
I keep thinking about this topic and I am trying to formulate a cohesive idea . I think the real issue underneath all of this is that the economy really has not recovered as much as is being touted and I do not think it ever will. So many mid-range jobs have been lost and they will never return. Budgets keep getting tighter because prices keep inching up despite the fact that we have no "inflation." In some places home prices are again at levels that are unsustainable. We also have an aging population that is used to health and wealth. I'd love to hear what all of you are thinking because I do not think that the problem is that we as a group are not prepared. If anything this group is better able to withstand periods of unemployment and underemployment due to savings and cautious spending. ETA - please let me know,if I should delete this and/or make a new topic. That is some of it for us. Right as we were looking to get ahead the daycare we used announced that they were jacking up their rates. They went from $630 to $820 a month for infants. $545 to $758 for infants pretty much overnight. They generously "grandfathered" in those of us at the old rates but we would have to go to the new rates when our child aged out of the room they were currently in. That gave us two months. We've been looking ever since but everywhere is just as expensive if not more so. We were slated to get into a daycare in December but due to staffing problems now their wait list is pushed out to February. I know board logic would say we should have seen this coming and had no business having children at all if we were not prepared for this to happen "someday". But we didn't. Then my insurance premiums are going up which I knew was bound to happen eventually but could not have come at a crappier time. Fortunately we retain our coverage and the OOP max/deductible did not rise along with the premium. The exchange in Iowa is worthless. There are only two random insurance companies to pick from and the plans we qualify for have deductibles at $10k+. DH's current job does not offer insurance since it's a company of only eight people. Buying the house right now is not the smartest move but my parents have to make a decision. I looked into renting a different house but rent here for a house our size (675 sq ft) is $800+ and no pets, no kids. Or I could get an apartment for the same amount but way less space. If we had to give up the dogs we would but I am NOT giving up my children. We're not that freaking bad off financially. So buying the house makes sense when we considering the long haul. We're getting it for $65k. By the time we fix all the cosmetic stuff wrong with it, like the siding, and the fact we are on a corner lot we'll have a pretty valuable asset. We do not have a lavish lifestyle. We're pretty modest for the most part. I will be honest that we have not gone to the extremes to save money so we could do "more" than what we are doing now. DH has FINALLY agreed to cut the cable cord so that's going to free up some cash. However I agree with Phil that the "latte factor" can only take you so far. It doesn't solve the fact we pay $758 a month for daycare (which could increase again at any time) and that the cost of our health insurance keeps climbing. I told DH I feel like we are having to run faster and faster just to stay in place.
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travelnut11
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Post by travelnut11 on Dec 12, 2016 10:13:49 GMT -5
Drama, it is not legal to discriminate against kids in rental situations. Pets yes, but kids no unless you live in some really bizarre municipality?
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Dec 12, 2016 11:30:21 GMT -5
Shooby - Working overtime is not an option for me. I am salaried, at just under 6 figures/year. Bills and spending have pretty much been cut to the bone, but this is a legal situation that currently involves us paying 3 different lawyers. Those expenses are what they are. And as for getting the situation resolved, we do have to work through the legal system, which moves at it's own pace, not ours. We did have an update on Friday, and now the lawyer who is handling the worst aspect of the case says we should be looking at resolution in April or May (which is moved up from June, where he had been estimating it).
As for the house situation, we used to own two properties - our home and the MIL's condo, which we inherited when she passed. There was a renter in her condo. Right about two years ago, the renter decided to move and we sold the condo in April 2015. We used the money from the sale of the condo (which we owned outright) to purchase a new home here before selling our old home. We moved into the new home, got the old home ready for sale, and then sold it a little over a year ago now. The new home is more expensive than the old home. It is in a much better school district, bigger, etc. We has a 10% down payment when we bought it, and put quite a bit of the money from selling the old home against the mortgage, as well. Thanks to the crazy housing market up here, the new home has also appreciated somewhere between 50-100k since we bought it. Before the HELOC, we had about 30% equity (maybe a bit more). I have every intention of selling the current house when we can. But again, due to the legal issues involved, I can't sell it until the worst aspect of the case has been resolved. But hey, given the timing, that looks like the house will go on the market next summer, which is the best time for sellers.
Again, for us, we mostly have to ride out this worst aspect of the case. There will likely be continuing issues after that, but once the worst aspect gets resolved, we'll have a whole lot more freedom (and at least one less lawyer - and the most expensive lawyer at that).
$1300 is the current emergency fund. I cannot decrease contributions to my current retirement fund nor can I borrow against it. (One negative aspect of being a state employee - they won't let us raid our retirement to pay for current life.) We do have some older retirement funds we could raid, but we would not be able to borrow from them, we would have to take early distribution, with all of those tax implications. We are certainly considering it.
Works4me - I have been saying for a long time my generation (GenX) is the first generation that doesn't get to assume we will do better than our parents. Some of us will, but many of us won't. I do make more money than my parents did, but my parent's first house cost $15k. My first house cost $180k. I can guarantee you, we weren't making 12 times as much in 2003 as they did in 1973. Inflation seems to be tracked to things like the cost of milk, but not the cost of housing. For my parents generation, houses were how you built wealth. For ours, and certainly for the Millennials behind us, it seems to be how you build debt. The economy has not recovered as much from the bubble, no. Unemployment numbers are down, which is great, but there are many people, my husband included, who are simply no longer on the UE roles. He was laid off in 2009 and hasn't worked since. (And again, we will try and change that as soon as we can, but it is just not practical until the worst aspect of our case gets resolved.) I think there are lots of reasons for this, a big one being the rate of change in technology. On some level, our work force is not able to change fast enough to match the new needs of the work place based on technology advances.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2016 12:05:12 GMT -5
Drama, it is not legal to discriminate against kids in rental situations. Pets yes, but kids no unless you live in some really bizarre municipality? I stopped looking once I saw that to rent houses my size or smaller people are wanting $800-$900. We also have some pretty hefty problems with slum lords which the city is now trying to crack down on. I could purchase a house twice as big for what people want to rent a house smaller than my own. I disagree with Dh that rent is "throwing your money away". I think that attitude gets people into trouble, you need to do the numbers before drawing conclusions. In our case over the long haul the numbers make sense when it comes to purchasing our house vs being long term renters. It's just short term this hurts because we do not have liquid cash. If I had not lost my job in 2015 this process would be a lot less stressful for me.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2016 13:55:00 GMT -5
I tried to find a McJob but could not find one that would afford us enough to cover insurance AND daycare for those times when DH and I would both be at work. It's not as easy to walk in and demand a McJob with your desired hours as the board wants you to believe it is.
We also wrestled with pulling the kids out of daycare. It would have saved us money but that's another situation where you can't waltz in and do as you please. If there were no spots when I returned to work then there are no spots. We would have been screwed. And no I was not going to pay some person $20 a day to watch my kids, that's how you end up on the freaking evening news.
So we kept them in which sucked our savings dry PDQ. It was a worthwhile gamble in the end looking back but at the time felt like a major risk we were taking.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 12, 2016 14:11:48 GMT -5
Finally, a realistic, honest, thread about these issues.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2016 15:06:27 GMT -5
I think part of the issue is YM tips towards the "1%" If I compare myself to the world I actually live in then my situation looks A LOT different. I have to take breaks from the boards because I start to compare myself and get depressed because no matter what I do I will never measure up. It's "keeping up with the Joneses" only instead of wanting a bigger better car like my neighbors I am comparing my retirement savings. Which in some ways is a GOOD thing, in other ways it seriously skews my perspective when bad things happen. DH keeps reminding me that we could have been and could be A LOT worse off than we are and the fact that I am so good with our money is why we'll eventually bounce back.
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dee27
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Post by dee27 on Dec 12, 2016 15:21:36 GMT -5
Drama,
This board is also comprised of people in different age groups, and it would be an unfair comparison to view your net worth versus someone who is retiring from their career. You have to do what works for your family at the time.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2016 15:33:30 GMT -5
Drama, This board is also comprised of people in different age groups, and it would be an unfair comparison to view your net worth versus someone who is retiring from their career. You have to do what works for your family at the time. I know logically it is. Emotionally I am already a perfectionist and I know it's time to walk away when I get depressed over how "perfect" YM appears to be. Logically I also know everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet. I've learned loads from the boards and they've motivated me in good ways like getting more involved in DH's retirement planning. At the same time I have to sometimes work hard to remind myself that the net worts and stuff of YMers tends to be an exception to the norm. I am not doing "bad" because I don't measure up.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 12, 2016 15:41:19 GMT -5
I've noticed that most of my friends are still in the same spot financially that they were a decade ago. A lot of it is because of losing jobs, which creates debt and eats up savings. A bad string of luck with jobs over the last few years has screwed up my whole program. I'm finally starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. The goal for 2017 is to get my financial situation in order. It's going to require a lot of work, but I need to do it. I got a weekend job to help.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2016 15:45:04 GMT -5
I think part of the issue is YM tips towards the "1%" If I compare myself to the world I actually live in then my situation looks A LOT different. I have to take breaks from the boards because I start to compare myself and get depressed because no matter what I do I will never measure up. It's "keeping up with the Joneses" only instead of wanting a bigger better car like my neighbors I am comparing my retirement savings. Which in some ways is a GOOD thing, in other ways it seriously skews my perspective when bad things happen. DH keeps reminding me that we could have been and could be A LOT worse off than we are and the fact that I am so good with our money is why we'll eventually bounce back. I absolutely understand your perspective, and I'm a lot older than you are. It isn't even the retirement savings. But people start talking about $2000 sofas, new cars, vacations to Europe, and so on . . . I don't have that kind of money. Sure, it bothers me a little as do the "Check out my 401k balance!" threads. But I am ok with it most of the time because these aren't even things that I want. Well, I do want their 401k balances, but I'm even ok there. But I admit to something like checking my bank balance every couple of days, and it somehow turns into a character fault. I genuinely enjoy talking to everyone on here, but sometimes I do have to back away.
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