I'm Going to Hell

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Feb 19, 2015 16:55:40 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

My OP was meant to be a little tongue in cheek. I don't mean to offend strict adherents to Lenten practices, but I was trying to say that sometimes the life God/Karma/Fate/the Flying Spagetti Monster/the Cosmos/whatever hands you gets in the way of otherwise good intentions.

I hope I get to meet the Flying Spaghetti Monster. After all this time of watching my carbs, I think the little bugger owes me an eternally full plate of pasta at the heavenly all-you-can-eat buffet.

Be sure to pack your own colander to wear in Heaven!!!

[kittensaver]

I'm with Mark Twain on the Question of Afterlife / Heaven / Hell:

"If there are no dogs in heaven, when I die I want to go wherever they went."

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 19, 2015 17:17:22 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I'm with Mark Twain on the Question of Afterlife / Heaven / Hell:

"If there are no dogs in heaven, when I die I want to go wherever they went."

I'm following the cats when I go. I'm pretty sure all kitties go to the big box full of yarn and catnip toys...wherever that is.

[Tennesseer]

Feb 19, 2015 17:21:04 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Feb 19, 2015 17:17:22 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I'm with Mark Twain on the Question of Afterlife / Heaven / Hell:

"If there are no dogs in heaven, when I die I want to go wherever they went."

I'm following the cats when I go. I'm pretty sure all kitties go to the big box full of yarn and catnip toys...wherever that is.

Hell is their full litterbox.

[NoNamePerson]

Feb 19, 2015 15:54:17 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

So (and with  so no one takes this the wrong way) if you die in the middle of a blizzard in one of those eternally cold places (think Chicago, Boston, etc in the middle of winter) will you get send to hell if you haven't been good just to make sure you don't get rewarded by warming up? 

I have spent quite a lot of time looking at pictures of all those really cold places the last few weeks and now I'm wondering... 

Sending me to hell would be sending me to North Dakota in the winter time  

[weltschmerz]

Not too long ago a man found himself walking along a road in the country. He did not know where he was or where he was walking to. The thought occurred to him that he had died and was in fact dead! He reckoned this only because his dog which had died many years ago was walking alongside of him. Although a strange circumstance, he was pleased to see his old best friend again.
As they walked, they came upon a fancy fence that bordered along the road. Soon they came to a fancy entryway, with a magnificent gate, complete with a little guard house. Seeing a man in the guard house, the man stopped and asked, “What is this place?”
“This is Heaven,” the guard replied.

The man said, “We have been walking for a long time, could we come in and get a drink of water?”
The guard replied, “Sure, just go up the lane to the Big House, and you will find a cooler with spring water in the shaded arbor next to the Big House. You will have to leave the dog here though,” the guard added. “Dogs are not permitted in Heaven.”
The man just looked at the dog and said, “Come boy, we will be heading on down the road.”
Soon the man and the dog came upon an old fence that really was not in too good of a shape that bordered along the road. Walking along the fence, they approached a gate that was propped open and hanging to the ground by only one hinge. An elderly man was sitting in the shade of an easy-up shelter gazing at the man and the dog.
“Hey partner” the man called out, “Could I get a drink of water here?”
“Sure,” said the elderly man in the easy-up. “Go up the lane to that big grove of trees, there is a spring there with sweet cold water running from out of the hillside.”
“What about my dog?” the man asked. The elderly man replied, “There is a bowl hanging from the tree limb that your dog can use for a drink of water.”
As the man started up the lane towards the trees he asked, “Mister, what is this place?”
“Heaven,” replied the elderly man.
“But they told me the place back up the road was Heaven,” the man said.
“Nope,” replied the elderly man, “That place is Hell; they lied to you.”
“Doesn’t that make you mad that they try to tell people that their place is Heaven,” the man with the dog said.
“No,” said the elderly man, “We are just happy they weed out anyone who would go on and leave their best friend behind.”

[Lizard Queen]

If I believed in Hell, I'd probably be going there too.  I always forget on the days during Lent that I'm not supposed to eat meat.  Even if I remember earlier in the day, I forget by the end.  There's a church bulletin on my mom's kitchen table explaining the Lenten rituals.  I guess that you're supposed to fast during Lent too.  Since my mom ran out of eggs, I guess I'm going to fast out of convenience today.     (Yeah, if I really believed that God cares about what I eat or don't eat, I'd be in trouble! )

[resolution]

Tonight is ravioli stuffed with lobster and ricotta cheese, in a cream sauce. Not exactly penitential but it follows the rules well enough.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 19, 2015 13:50:35 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

The meat thing is supposed to be about sacrifice.  I suppose back in the day it was a big thing, but I have to laugh when I see people going out for lobster on Fridays because it's lent. 

I was told somewhere along the line that fish used to be very expensive (European Middle Ages type of timeline.)  So while the poor folk at veggies and grains, eating fish was a way to show off.  and of course it spread. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

From what I read on Wikipedia Lent used to be limited to ungulates or hooved animals such as cows, goats, pigs and horses.

The logic being that these animals provide a lot more services/goods if you DON'T eat them. Since a lot of people were starving back when Lent was invented I can see why you might think it wasn't worth keeping your horse to ride.  Getting people to fast and avoid eating them conserved resources.

I looked it up with a co-worker of mine because he was trying to debate if chicken counts as meat. If you go by current standards yes. If we are going by the original intent then no.

I had someone ask me if alligator was considered acceptable during Lent at the restaurant I worked at. Hell if I know. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 20, 2015 13:38:51 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

From what I read on Wikipedia Lent used to be limited to ungulates or hooved animals such as cows, goats, pigs and horses.

The logic being that these animals provide a lot more services/goods if you DON'T eat them. Since a lot of people were starving back when Lent was invented I can see why you might think it wasn't worth keeping your horse to ride.  Getting people to fast and avoid eating them conserved resources.

I looked it up with a co-worker of mine because he was trying to debate if chicken counts as meat. If you go by current standards yes. If we are going by the original intent then no.

I had someone ask me if alligator was considered acceptable during Lent at the restaurant I worked at. Hell if I know. 

Well, it's a reptile not a mammal.  And cold blooded so not red meat.  I'm going for Yes, based on the current standards and calling it seafood. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I went with probably since I'm sure the pope that created the dictate wasn't considering whether or not people were eating north American alligators.  It's a loophole. 

[MJ2.0]

I feel like giving up meat or something you enjoy regularly isn't the best way to show compassion for the less fortunate. I'm thinking maybe people should, oh I don't know, do something to actually help the less fortunate.

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2015 13:48:43 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I feel like giving up meat or something you enjoy regularly isn't the best way to show compassion for the less fortunate. I'm thinking maybe people should, oh I don't know, do something to actually help the less fortunate.

Like invite them over for a steak dinner!

[Deleted]

Feb 20, 2015 13:48:43 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

I feel like giving up meat or something you enjoy regularly isn't the best way to show compassion for the less fortunate. I'm thinking maybe people should, oh I don't know, do something to actually help the less fortunate.

I think you're supposed to do both....give up something you enjoy as a sacrifice and then do something for those less fortunate as a service

[CarolinaKat]

Feb 19, 2015 18:08:16 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Not too long ago a man found himself walking along a road in the country. He did not know where he was or where he was walking to. The thought occurred to him that he had died and was in fact dead! He reckoned this only because his dog which had died many years ago was walking alongside of him. Although a strange circumstance, he was pleased to see his old best friend again.
As they walked, they came upon a fancy fence that bordered along the road. Soon they came to a fancy entryway, with a magnificent gate, complete with a little guard house. Seeing a man in the guard house, the man stopped and asked, “What is this place?”
“This is Heaven,” the guard replied.

The man said, “We have been walking for a long time, could we come in and get a drink of water?”
The guard replied, “Sure, just go up the lane to the Big House, and you will find a cooler with spring water in the shaded arbor next to the Big House. You will have to leave the dog here though,” the guard added. “Dogs are not permitted in Heaven.”
The man just looked at the dog and said, “Come boy, we will be heading on down the road.”
Soon the man and the dog came upon an old fence that really was not in too good of a shape that bordered along the road. Walking along the fence, they approached a gate that was propped open and hanging to the ground by only one hinge. An elderly man was sitting in the shade of an easy-up shelter gazing at the man and the dog.
“Hey partner” the man called out, “Could I get a drink of water here?”
“Sure,” said the elderly man in the easy-up. “Go up the lane to that big grove of trees, there is a spring there with sweet cold water running from out of the hillside.”
“What about my dog?” the man asked. The elderly man replied, “There is a bowl hanging from the tree limb that your dog can use for a drink of water.”
As the man started up the lane towards the trees he asked, “Mister, what is this place?”
“Heaven,” replied the elderly man.
“But they told me the place back up the road was Heaven,” the man said.
“Nope,” replied the elderly man, “That place is Hell; they lied to you.”
“Doesn’t that make you mad that they try to tell people that their place is Heaven,” the man with the dog said.
“No,” said the elderly man, “We are just happy they weed out anyone who would go on and leave their best friend behind.”

The Twilight Zone 'The Hunt'