TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 2, 2016 20:18:51 GMT -5
We don't mind paying for her .... We know the state needs to replace whatever they can. is the check written from HER money to the state or the facility where she lives? For my rep payee clients, no check was written from the client's checking account to the state until the state asked for what was left when the client had died and all remaining bills had been paid. Up until that point, they could buy health insurance, pay the nursing home and keep $50. Actually, the nursing home bill was their Social Security less the health insurance less $50. Nursing homes take a bath on their Medicaid patients. One client wasn't even paying $400 per month to the nursing home. He was violent so required a private room.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 3, 2016 20:05:09 GMT -5
Yes, assisted living is all private pay. However, a nursing home is the next step. Most likely health insurance will not pay a penny for a nursing home. LTCI is what pays for that. Medicare also will not pay for a nursing home except in their defined circumstances. It isn't for people who are going there permanently.
My clients were have all been able to have health insurance. Then the difference between that and $50 is what was paid to the nursing home. You are allowed to have a burial fund and up to $2000 in assets. My client's SS came in to their bank account. Every year, the state informed both me and the nursing home what the monthly client participation rate was. They tried to get more, but they didn't.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Jan 3, 2016 20:17:28 GMT -5
Not all assisted living facilities are private pay. My 96 y/o Mom has been in a terrific one for 4 years now. She was able to pay for the few 2 months of living there, then the Nebraska Medicaid Waiver program took over.
She I believe she still carries her regular Medicare insurance and her supplement Those amounts are taken from her SS income, and she is then allowed $60/mo to pay for any incidentals. The balance of what is left from SS goes to the state (I think) and then the state pays the balance to the ALF.
I pay for her phone bill every month and my brother covers her weekly hair appointments. My son covers any personal care items and snacks for the refrigerator. My DIL does the shopping for those items then drops them off.
Oh yes, her burial costs were also required to be paid in advance. In didn't take long for the $7K or so that she had to be quickly spent.
My brother is an attorney and has taken care of all the legal things for our Mom, including filing for the Waiver program, and dealing with the state HHS dept.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 3, 2016 22:06:03 GMT -5
I think it is different in different states. In Iowa, it's only for nursing homes and they only get to keep $50 for personal use.
Completely those forms every year is a real PIA. I had one client who got kicked off because I didn't attached the documentation for something like $150. I was told if I had left the $150 off the form, there would have been no problem. It took me a good six months to get her back on the program. Before I took over as her rep payee, she had gotten kicked off because she had whole life insurance. Family cashed that in and put it in a burial fund of over $25K and made sure they used every penny of it on her funeral.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 3, 2016 22:26:16 GMT -5
Here, you can use Medicare/Medicaid for assisted living. The catch is, only so many rooms are available, as most places prefer to get clients who pay cash. Once their assets are gone, out of the monthly check from the government a client can keep $97 per month for their telephone, cable, personal needs, and the assisted living center or nursing home gets the rest. That $97 sounds like a lot, until you remember you also need to buy clothes, shoes, etc., so that money doesn't go far.
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Jan 4, 2016 16:57:51 GMT -5
Our state like Texas takes only private money for assisted living under all assets are gone, then they have to go to a nursing home.
We pay for clothes, shoes, dental, hair cuts, outings, and everything else for our daughter out of pocket.
Isn't your daughter on Medicaid? The assisted living center takes nothing from Medicaid? If that is the case, does Medicaid go into her own personal account monthly? I assume this money would then be applied to the monthly rent at the assisted living center.
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Jan 4, 2016 17:45:03 GMT -5
Okay, I understand now. Thanks
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Jan 4, 2016 22:35:05 GMT -5
No our daughter is in a group home, it is paid by Medicaid but her portion of SS except for $50 goes to the state, she is now getting $1100 a month since hubby retired. Does it really cost $1050 for housing, utilities, food ect?
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jan 4, 2016 23:18:02 GMT -5
The expensive cost isn't housing and food but round the clock staff.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 4, 2016 23:18:25 GMT -5
Probably way more than that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 4, 2016 23:19:24 GMT -5
The helper I got for DH was $14 an hour. That's dirt cheap.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 4, 2016 23:20:39 GMT -5
So $336 for 24 hours times 7. Times 4.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jan 4, 2016 23:26:02 GMT -5
No, there isn't just one helper for 3 shifts. They probably have at least 2 staff people during the day and a portion of the costs go towards paying the administrator.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Jan 5, 2016 14:17:52 GMT -5
It's not just up to him, is it? She's your daughter too...
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 7, 2016 17:00:12 GMT -5
Yes they are and they don't pay their employees for shit. But since they're not Walmart, it's okay
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 7, 2016 18:29:18 GMT -5
I agree too, that also the nursing home staff isn't paid enough for what they do. I've watched staff coax residents to eat, wage psychological battles with residents who don't want to take their meds in order to get them to take those meds, and of course do the physical work of taking care of seniors. They must be exhausted when they get home, but it seriously is a calling to do this type of work. God Bless them all!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 7, 2016 21:31:13 GMT -5
I realize that she isn't as on board as she needs to be. It's hard when your whole world has revolved around you and now it isn't. Worse than that, you can't manipulate your mom anymore and your dad is home but having a life that doesn't revolve around you as well. But you need to make it very clear that if she gets booted from her home because of her behavior, you have no clue where she will go because her old home is not an option. I love how judges and legal advocates have no issue protecting "rights" but they sure don't step up to the plate to care for the person they just "protected."
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 8, 2016 19:18:55 GMT -5
Your sweet little grandson is so cute!
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jan 8, 2016 19:31:03 GMT -5
I'm not sure if you're leaving soon, but if not, Christmas was so recent ... is it wise to bring your DD home again so soon?
Personally, unless you're leaving very soon, I would have left it longer between her visits, especially since the end of the last one didn't go so well.
Between your MIL and your DD, I'm wondering if your DH isn't regretting coming home. Pat you really need to find something else to do besides worry about your DD and your MIL, at least part of the time (of course you will always worry about them!) They have both been placed, your DH is finally home, but frankly you don't seem any happier or less anxious than when you first started these threads, when they were both at home and your DH was far away.
I honestly don't mean to sound mean, but I think you need to get a grip on your anxieties. Take medication if you need to. I'm not a psychologist but it sounds like you have PTSD after caring for both of them them for so long. You finally have the potential freedom you've wanted all your life, you need to be able to enjoy it! You want your DH's help but if this is all you both do, if it's all he hears from you, hes' going to RUN back to his job (replacement for sick leave, whatever) at the first opportunity.
And that's not what you want.
Maybe after all these years it's time to go on a trip the two of you, or not, and get reacquainted with each other and each other's habits again, rather than constantly trying to tend to your MIL and DD? Is there even one REGULAR thing you can arrange that you would both enjoy? Hiking? Movie night? Bingo? I dunno, but SOMETHING that has NOTHING to do with caretaking?!
JMO. I fear you are going to create the very situation you say you don't want, i.e. your DH running off again at the first opportunity.
Your priority now should be the two of you, not your DD and your MIL. They are safe. Their situations may not be perfect, but few situations are.
it's time to put you and your DH first.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Jan 9, 2016 0:09:15 GMT -5
That's really not a bad rate for a kennel. Around here they are $30 per day + extra when they walk them, give them meds, etc. For 28 days that would be $840 minimum.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 9, 2016 11:10:11 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are in a state with such an irresponsible governor. These idiots have NO idea what the costs are associated with the elderly and people with special needs. (And if they DO have an extended family member with issues, they have "people" who take care of them. So they STILL don't have a clue.) I don't believe in helping everyone who has their hand out, but there are citizens who need consistent, reliable caregivers.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 9, 2016 21:02:25 GMT -5
Weird. Around here it's usually a Republican who tries to slash the budget. Probably is some sort of scandal going on.
Our state set up it's own health care system, & other than the computer system during sign-up season, it's actually working rather well.
I'm not shy, but go ahead & ask the staff what is going on. I noticed high turnover at my relative's assisted-living center just before he had to move to rehab (he is STILL waiting for a permanent room, but at least he's got somewhere safe to live until an opening happens).
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jan 9, 2016 21:17:40 GMT -5
I don't know what else is going on in Indiana, but I do know the governor is Republican. All the cuts sound just like what our Republican governor is doing to the elderly, the handicapped children and education.
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on Jan 9, 2016 21:19:24 GMT -5
Do you have any friends or neighbours you can trade animal care for, or even pay them to take care of your pets? We take care of my friends' dog sometimes during school vacations (she is a teacher). I would not take money for her but she asks DS3 (17) to take care of her dog, not me . DS3 LOVES having the dog, and my friend insists on paying him (which I understand). She pays him less than she would pay a kennel, and the dog has better care (IMO), and he keeps his habits. DS3 would do it for free, but since she insists, he's always happy for the extra money. She pays DS3 10e ($11) a day. Of course we all end up taking care of him, but that's fine, he's a wonderful dog and we love him. Win-win. Could you find a situation like that? Might the woman who took care of your MIL be interested? ETA: This friend was very recently widowed in tragic circumstances. This week I met a woman from her church who does childcare, elder care, pet care ... that's why I thought that maybe the woman who helped you with your MIL might be able to help with the pets too. It might be worth looking into.
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Jan 14, 2016 19:43:44 GMT -5
Are you and hubby in Florida now? Using the heat at night?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 14, 2016 20:26:21 GMT -5
I'm in Tampa but not using heat. I'm not using the ac though, either!!
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Value Buy
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Post by Value Buy on Jan 14, 2016 22:48:02 GMT -5
I'm in Tampa but not using heat. I'm not using the ac though, either!! Did not leave the house today. Long shirt and blue jeans today Cloudy and low 60's all day.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 14, 2016 22:56:29 GMT -5
I went to St Pete to meet a friend for lunch. Tomorrow meeting another friend in St Armand's Circle.
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kjto1
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Post by kjto1 on Jan 18, 2016 22:21:39 GMT -5
Pat - I'm thinking of you and hope everything is going well.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 18, 2016 23:12:54 GMT -5
She's in Florida with her DH
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