Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Nov 9, 2014 9:09:02 GMT -5
But, sometimes one doesn't necessarily invite nemeses in. By their very nature, nemeses usually "invite" themselves into one's life. Then it's either deal with them and shut them down, or, as my sainted mother used to implore when there was an issue among us siblings: "I. G. N. O. R. E.". It's generally accepted that you can control who your friends are, but not who your family is. I would also extend that to people you work with. If your arch nemesis is a family member or co worker/boss, you're pretty much stuck with them. Then the question becomes, how do you "handle" them.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Nov 9, 2014 11:31:16 GMT -5
My arch-nemesis story is similar to midjd. Friends in elementary school, but more frenemies come high school. She took valedictorian and I was salutatorian. And to this day (I should probably let it go), I know it was because she got off easy by administrators (she didn't have to take a class that EVERYONE ELSE had to take, she didn't get a failing grade even though she dropped a course mid-year, etc.). She also would take the easy way out - she couldn't make first chair in her main instrument (flute), so she switched to oboe - she was the only oboe player, so automatically first chair. I, however, was first chair of the clarinets.
She went on to become a lawyer, while I am a lowly writer (), but I think her DH is a freeloader and frankly, she looks bad. While I still look awesome.
I don't really care what she is up to now, but the valedictorian thing still really gets my goat.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2014 17:33:06 GMT -5
My boyfriend's ex.
She dumped my boyfriend, dated three different guys (in a year), and then decided she wanted my boyfriend back. This was after boyfriend and I had already been together for one year.
He told her he moved on with his life, and she needed to also, but the whole thing still pisses me off.
Mind you, we are all in our 40s, and boyfriend and I have now been together for six years, but it still irritates me she had the balls to think she is something special. (Even though she has three kids and lives in her parent's house.) Five years later and she still hasn't found a man to take care of her.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Nov 9, 2014 17:41:07 GMT -5
.
Since it sounds like she goes through boyfriends - like tossing out a pair of worn out socks, she probably has a "use 'em and lose 'em" attitude about men - there's probably not a man willing to take care of her - not that women need to be taken care of, but it's nice when we find the one who wants to.
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Nov 9, 2014 18:34:12 GMT -5
My arch nemesis is carbs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2014 21:01:56 GMT -5
I've had a few. The boss from hell was one. She didn't want anyone too close to see her work so she made my life hell for 2 years. She ended up having to resign and I have her job now. All I had to do was stick it out and the universe handled the situation for me. I've had a few situations like that and it has always worked out in the end. For me anyway.
I find the thing that moves someone from PITA to nemesis is that I have to interact with them on a regular basis. That is why most of them are through work, I'm not quitting a good job over someone else's foolishness. The odd time they hang out the same place I like to and I'm not leaving so they need to be neutralized somehow.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Nov 9, 2014 23:06:18 GMT -5
I had one years ago at one of my first full-time jobs. She was hired about 6 months after I was, & was intentionally trying to screw up my work. We were at the same level, & I couldn't figure out what her problem was, until later I found out my supervisor had told her I had been hired instead of her 6 months earlier (obviously, NOT my fault), & she decided to take out her anger on me, rather than the woman who hired us. But, it was one of those jobs that I didn't mind leaving when a better opportunity came up about a year later.
A couple of jobs later I had a supervisor who was a royal PITA, but, she treated everyone badly, so it wasn't just me.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 10, 2014 1:44:29 GMT -5
I had one years ago at one of my first full-time jobs. She was hired about 6 months after I was, & was intentionally trying to screw up my work. We were at the same level, & I couldn't figure out what her problem was, until later I found out my supervisor had told her I had been hired instead of her 6 months earlier (obviously, NOT my fault), & she decided to take out her anger on me, rather than the woman who hired us. But, it was one of those jobs that I didn't mind leaving when a better opportunity came up about a year later.
I had something similar happen. I took a job at a brokerage firm as Office Manager. They introduced me to my new secretary and she was also the bookkeeper. I had a staff of 7. She made my life a living hell and she was totally incompetent. I found out she had applied for my job and in their infinite wisdom gave her the job as my assistant because she wasn't qualified to do what I did. She informed me that I got the job only because I was pretty and she wasn't. Yeah, that's why. Not because I beat out everybody in the tests that were given by a 3rd party. Stupid hag didn't even know the difference between convenience and convince. She said she was never taught phonics. And I had to go over the books after her entries because she'd put deposits in that were already entered (these are only minor examples). Oooookayyyyy. Good thing I was pretty. If I had also been stupid maybe I'd have done even better! What people tell themselves to get through the day.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 10, 2014 9:30:19 GMT -5
I had one years ago at one of my first full-time jobs. She was hired about 6 months after I was, & was intentionally trying to screw up my work. We were at the same level, & I couldn't figure out what her problem was, until later I found out my supervisor had told her I had been hired instead of her 6 months earlier (obviously, NOT my fault), & she decided to take out her anger on me, rather than the woman who hired us. But, it was one of those jobs that I didn't mind leaving when a better opportunity came up about a year later.
I had something similar happen. I took a job at a brokerage firm as Office Manager. They introduced me to my new secretary and she was also the bookkeeper. I had a staff of 7. She made my life a living hell and she was totally incompetent. I found out she had applied for my job and in their infinite wisdom gave her the job as my assistant because she wasn't qualified to do what I did. She informed me that I got the job only because I was pretty and she wasn't. Yeah, that's why. Not because I beat out everybody in the tests that were given by a 3rd party. Stupid hag didn't even know the difference between convenience and convince. She said she was never taught phonics. And I had to go over the books after her entries because she'd put deposits in that were already entered (these are only minor examples). Oooookayyyyy. Good thing I was pretty. If I had also been stupid maybe I'd have done even better! What people tell themselves to get through the day. But in her defense, you ARE pretty!
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Ava
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Post by Ava on Nov 11, 2014 14:55:59 GMT -5
Nah, no enemies at all. Life is too short for that. Live and let live. In my case, I'm pretty easy going. It was not a situation I sought out at all. He was ambitious and wanted a promotion to be the manager of our group, but he wasn't willing to work very hard to get and he wasn't the most talented either. When he identified me as a potential threat to that, he targeted me and tried to discredit me in every way he could. Saying negative things about me to our bosses (one told me he did this - but did not say what he had said - so I had no way to address it). I'd walk into a room and he'd be campaigning with fellow workers to get them to go against an idea of mine in a meeting. He messed with my stuff, putting things of mine on the top shelf of the kitchen where I couldn't reach it. I tried to ignore him as best I could - but he was out to get me and all I was trying to do was protect myself. And - he was somewhat mentally unbalanced. Sometimes - I was genuinely afraid of him, in a nonjobrelated way. Oh, I understand that some people are not mentally balanced and they provoke very difficult situations. I avoid that kind of people as much as I can. Sometimes you have to work with them, though. When I worked at the cafeteria there was a lady there who was a bully. She was the worst bully I've ever met. All new hires were targets of her rage and frustration. Most of them ended up crying and a few of them just quit. Dealing with her was really difficult but I never broke down. I also didn't get emotionally involved with her. Like I said; I'm sort of lazy and not really up for the emotional upheaval. I'm also extremely easygoing and most people feel very comfortable around me. So this lady hated on me for a couple of years. It was tough but I mostly ignored her. I needed the paycheck and the medical. Everything changed when, for financial reasons, I started working overtime Saturday mornings with her. They opened the cafeteria for a few hours Saturday mornings, only 2 people working and overtime pay. She was there every Saturday and nobody wanted to work alone with her. But I needed the money so I did it. Working together and seeing me treating her with respect and being a team player won her over. I was never angry at her, I smiled a lot, I never talked about her behind her back. Little by little, she started trusting me and even looking forward to working with me. As I got to know her better I realized she was very lonely. That job was basically all she had; financially, emotionally, socially, etc. She felt threatened by new workers because maybe they would be better than her. So what I did was always defer to her. She had years of seniority over me, and I always let her make the little decisions we had to deal with on Saturday mornings. Do we open this door or not, do we put the bagels here or there, do we make an extra pot of coffee? The thing with people who are bullies, unbalanced, etc., they are very insecure and actually their aggression is some sort of defense they put up. I've found out through experience the best thing to do is treat them with respect, smile, do NEVER show they have hurt you, and take them out for lunch one day. Talk about anything but the job. Make jokes. Tell them a little about yourself. They start seeing you as human. I don't know. I'm not a psychologist, but it has worked for me so far.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Nov 11, 2014 15:44:27 GMT -5
"Newman." Funny you should mention that - I was thinking that I have my own 'Newman' at work. I wouldn't call him an arch nemisis, just a guy who can annoy me simply by calling my phone or sending me an email. This is the kind of guy he is: send 25 managers an email about a new process, and he will be the only one who replies back insisting the project will fail. Discuss a new idea in a group meeting and he will be the one that argues for 15 minutes that the idea is impossible and will fail. He has told me, in the past - and I am not making these up, that 1) if we move some of his employees from building A to building B (literally a block away) that they will be so upset at having to move they would quit, so we had to lie to them and just spring the move on them the day before they have to relocate, 2) when his employees ask for post its, will give them ONE post it note at a time (not a whole pad), 3) has literally stood a foot from me and screamed verbal abuse at one of his employees - when I called him on it, he claim I 'misundersood.' (Sorry, the term 'idiot' is pretty clear). So he is not a nemisis - but he is a burr under my saddle. A pain in my ass. Pee in my chicken soup.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Nov 11, 2014 17:21:58 GMT -5
Me and the neighbor's cat got a thing going. Sometimes I chase squirrels around the yard while he stares from behind the window, seething with jealous fury. Also, I'm drunk.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 11, 2014 18:06:44 GMT -5
"Newman." Funny you should mention that - I was thinking that I have my own 'Newman' at work. I wouldn't call him an arch nemisis, just a guy who can annoy me simply by calling my phone or sending me an email. This is the kind of guy he is: send 25 managers an email about a new process, and he will be the only one who replies back insisting the project will fail. Discuss a new idea in a group meeting and he will be the one that argues for 15 minutes that the idea is impossible and will fail. He has told me, in the past - and I am not making these up, that 1) if we move some of his employees from building A to building B (literally a block away) that they will be so upset at having to move they would quit, so we had to lie to them and just spring the move on them the day before they have to relocate, 2) when his employees ask for post its, will give them ONE post it note at a time (not a whole pad), 3) has literally stood a foot from me and screamed verbal abuse at one of his employees - when I called him on it, he claim I 'misundersood.' (Sorry, the term 'idiot' is pretty clear). So he is not a nemisis - but he is a burr under my saddle. A pain in my ass. Pee in my chicken soup.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Nov 11, 2014 19:49:54 GMT -5
Not really an arch-nemesis, but the new women of my ex boyfriends really loathe me. I tend to stay friends with my exes, and they don't like that.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Nov 11, 2014 21:33:38 GMT -5
I have some online arch nemeses.
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