ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,353
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 22, 2014 15:41:15 GMT -5
Mine were once on a wait list. A friend finally got her daughter in and called me that night. She said her daughter was really quieter than normal. And really really hungry. Something just didn't seem right to her so she wasn't going back. Then I got a call saying one of mine made it in and could start the next day. I decline. Two weeks later the lady was arrested for child abuse. Now I'm not saying my friend's daughter was abused or neglected, I'm just saying that sometimes little kids send off signals that something is not right when they don't have words. Maybe yours was sending signals such as: Hungry Thirsty Refusing to get into car seat Welt Sunburn Ear Improperly dressed for weather I always wondered what signal my kids were trying to send me when they got bitten by bugs or got sunburned.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 22, 2014 15:42:02 GMT -5
Mine were once on a wait list. A friend finally got her daughter in and called me that night. She said her daughter was really quieter than normal. And really really hungry. Something just didn't seem right to her so she wasn't going back. Then I got a call saying one of mine made it in and could start the next day. I decline. Two weeks later the lady was arrested for child abuse. Now I'm not saying my friend's daughter was abused or neglected, I'm just saying that sometimes little kids send off signals that something is not right when they don't have words. Maybe yours was sending signals such as: Hungry Thirsty Refusing to get into car seat Welt Sunburn Ear Improperly dressed for weather I always wondered what signal my kids were trying to send me when they got bitten by bugs or got sunburned. That you forgot to put bug stuff and sunscreen on them. Bad Archie!
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 22, 2014 15:43:03 GMT -5
I think you're way overthinking it personally. You don't intend to ever use this lady as a babysitter again, WHY do you care what she thinks? Just let her shoot her mouth off and conduct yourself as normal. If she keeps it up she'll look like the crazy neighbor, not you. Also I'm probably an outlier that while I'd be annoyed with the things mentioned and would address them if I planned on continuing to use her, I wouldn't run to the state over any of it. There is no law (at least here and yes I've actually read state's web site regarding daycare regulations) saying the kids have to wear sunscreen or can't swim when it's 60. It's common sense but isn't breaking any laws. The state might make a note of my call but nothing is going to come of it. It just seems like a lot of work over someone you don't ever intend to use as a babysitter again.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,592
|
Post by Ombud on Jul 22, 2014 15:44:22 GMT -5
Sunburn, bug bite alone = no biggie
Abnormally hungry, thirsty, refusal to go when they liked to = biggie
Why a welt?? = puzzling
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 22, 2014 15:48:01 GMT -5
Hmm. I better call on my MIL then because the kid acts like she never eats when she's there yet I know for a fact my MIL follows her around with food constantly. First thing the woman asks when we arrive is "Did she eat lunch".
And the kid has days where she hates going to daycare and I have to forcibly pry her off my legs. She's been going to the same daycare for 4 years.
Not saying the woman couldn't be a total weirdo she very well could be. But this was a few days of babysitting and milizard doesn't intend on ever using her again. I don't see the point in going thru the time to report things to the state that aren't breaking the law.
I wouldn't use her as back-up anymore and would not recommend her to anyone I know.
I complain/discuss things with my daycare as warranted I'm not totally hands off. If they broke the law I'd report it. BUT I can't read into every single thing that happens there or every behavior Gwen exhibits after being there because I'd go crazy.
If they sucked bad enough I'd switch daycares and move on.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,353
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 22, 2014 15:52:34 GMT -5
The OP said the kid usually gets welts when bitten by a mosquito.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 22, 2014 15:56:47 GMT -5
When the Missouri flooded the mosquitoes were terrible. I had welts the size of 50 cent pieces. Mosquitoes were HUGE that year. If I've tried to smack them with a newspaper they would have kicked my ass.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,592
|
Post by Ombud on Jul 22, 2014 16:11:04 GMT -5
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Jul 22, 2014 17:06:58 GMT -5
Depending on where I am, I can get welts around the size of a nickel or quarter from mosquitoes. They can be awful. Thankfully the ones where I live don't leave those big of welts. Small favors since I attract the darn things.
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,720
|
Post by raeoflyte on Jul 22, 2014 19:04:41 GMT -5
Not putting on any sunscreen is ridiculous and as a daycare person she should know better, especially that young. And yelling at your dh for.knocking on the door sounds like she's off her rocker. I couldn't even muster up your usual neighborly 'hello' going forward and would complety ignore her, but I'm.not always very mature.
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Jul 22, 2014 19:31:23 GMT -5
Trust your instincts.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Apr 26, 2024 5:30:46 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 19:59:22 GMT -5
Not putting on any sunscreen is ridiculous and as a daycare person she should know better, especially that young. And yelling at your dh for.knocking on the door sounds like she's off her rocker. I couldn't even muster up your usual neighborly 'hello' going forward and would complety ignore her, but I'm.not always very mature. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards 'S okay. I'm not always very mature either.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 22, 2014 22:00:47 GMT -5
Yeah I'd keep my distance from the neighbor lady, too. Which is also part of the reason I'd let this all go. Even though she does not sound like a stellar daycare provider she didn't break any laws. Nothing's going to come of involving the state over sunscreen. None of it is anything that would be worth starting a potential neighborhood war over.
Right now she's the crazy lady. Keep escalating and the OP could end up the crazy lady. It was 2-3 days and now it's over. Move on from it but if anyone asks about daycares I wouldn't be above telling them to stay away from her. Just the fact she's handled being "replaced" so poorly is enough for me to not recommend business dealings with her to anyone. People switch providers for a myriad of reasons if you can't hack it maybe you shouldn't be running a business.
The kids sound fine and happy back at their regular babysitter, I'd leave it there and chalk this all up to a learning experience.
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 22, 2014 23:44:54 GMT -5
Except for the sunburn - all those things happen to my kids while in MY care.
They've been hungry and thirsty bc I wouldn't bring a snack with me every time we left a house. There had huge welts and all kinds of things on their skin from bug bites. One time, when my oldest was about 18 mo, he wouldn't let me put him in the car. It was in front of MyGym and I thought cops would be called by a "kind" stranger bc it looked like I was kidnapping a child. It wasn't the only time one of my kids would cry when I tried getting them in the car. There were many times when I didn't let them bring a toy with them. I have enough to remember and don't feel like keeping track of their crap. Their attire - well, let's just say that if I need to get somewhere and one of them is putting winter boots when it's 70 degrees or doesn't want to put on a jacket when it's 30 - well.....I still need get somewhere. They get hot/cold and eventually take things off/put them on.
That being said - if any of it happened in a day care, I would not be very pleased.
Double standard? Sure. But I don't care.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Jul 23, 2014 8:36:00 GMT -5
If you aren't comfortable, you aren't comfortable with her. That is all you need to know. But I wouldn't overblow the situation. Bug bites happen and you saw that is what it was. For sunscreen, I rarely put sunscreen on myself or my kids. I personally think that part of the reason there is so much Vit D deficiency is that we no longer expose ourselves to sunlight. But, yes, I would expect a daycare provider to think of that if they are going to be out for an extended period of time.
|
|
Ryan
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 16, 2014 13:40:36 GMT -5
Posts: 2,202
|
Post by Ryan on Jul 23, 2014 10:19:02 GMT -5
The hungry/thirsty thing would bother me. Either she wasn’t giving them anything to drink or the kids were too afraid to ask.
The sunblock thing can go both ways I guess. If you asked her to make sure they have it on, provided it, and she still didn’t do it then I’d be a little pissed. If there was no mention, then I don’t think she’s really at fault. I guess it depends on how long the kids were outside.
Just my personal opinion, but I’ve seen older teachers/daycare workers/church nursery workers all have the same type of issues. They are probably naturally impatient, they think kids are coddled now, and they have lost their filter. So for a kid who is used to a nurturing parent or daycare provider, it can be a shock to go to a little more “hostile” environment where the adult raises their voice at the kids or is more stern with them. I’ll never forget when I was in 2nd grade and I had this teacher that used to scream like CRAZY at our class. I was so taken aback and scared of this lady when she was yelling, but then I’d look at other kids who were sitting in the front row (line of fire) who were not paying much attention to her at all. I thought later on that their parents probably yell a lot at home so they are used to it.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Jul 23, 2014 10:21:08 GMT -5
The hungry/thirsty could be many things. Could be nothing or could be something. SOmetimes kids just don't want to eat or maybe the food is unfamiliar, etc. I know that when I planned birthday parties, that buying a lot of food would go uneaten. Kids get too jazzed up to eat when with other kids. So, I would just get pizza and drinks, etc and not tons of other sides.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 23, 2014 10:27:04 GMT -5
The hungry/thirsty could be many things. Could be nothing or could be something. SOmetimes kids just don't want to eat or maybe the food is unfamiliar Someone in our state regulations department had way too much time on his hands and decided to pass a mandate that our daycare can no longer allow any outside food of any kind. The reason being they get state funds to serve meals and letting kids bring in food is "double dipping". Most asinine rule I've ever heard of, but if they want to stay licensed they have to follow it. So there may have been quite a few hungry/thirsty kids in the few first weeks because they didn't like what the daycare was serving having been accustomed to being able to bring food they did like. Our daycare is also limited in staff/space/time as far as how flexible they can be in their menu. They make reasonable accommodations as they can for allergies but they can't be short order cooks. If the menu says fish nuggets and carrots they can't make the kid that hates fish nuggets an entirely separate meal. The kid will just have to "go hungry" that day. If I complained to the state all the daycare has to do is whip out their log book (which is mandated) to show how many meals they served that day and how many kids were attending. They did their job as far as the law is concerned. If I want things done my way I'm going to have to find more than likely an unlicensed home daycare.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 23, 2014 10:38:43 GMT -5
And on the sunscreen, these same people decided sunscreen is now a "medicine" and that the daycare must have written signed consent stating the can put sunscreen on my kid.
Another asinine rule, but if they don't follow it they can get in big trouble if caught. You didn't sign the form or checked "no" they are bound by the state to not apply it.
I'd assume they probably try to talk the kid into doing it themselves in that case but you can't force a kid to put on sunscreen.
I doubt anyone else's state is being such an ass, I'm just offering up reasons I know of that could be explainations for what happened. Or the woman could be a total weirdo who has no business owing a daycare business.
But without talking to said neighbor you'll never know. Considering how she's behaving over a simple comment about the kids preferring their regular babysitter there is no way I'd risk adding more fuel to the fire over things like sunscreen and being hungry. None of it is worth a potential neighborhood feud. It was 2-3 days of temp care, not months of regular service.
The kids are back at their regular babysitter and no long term harm appears to have been done.
The OP is stuck with this lady as a neighbor though. So it's worth picking your battles.
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Jul 23, 2014 10:39:30 GMT -5
The sunburn thing would royally piss me off. There shouldn't have to be any discussion regarding sunscreen, if the kids are going to be outside for more than 20 minutes or so, sunscreen should always be applied.
Everything else sounds kind of like just different rules than what your kids are used to.
The not being able to bring anything from home is weird to me. Every daycare I have used has allowed the kids to bring a stuffed animal or blanket if they choose to. Tablets & other toys, not so much because other kids want to play too & they are a distraction.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,865
|
Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2014 11:02:58 GMT -5
My kids own grandmother took them to the beach in FLORIDA over labor day weekend when they were little and didnt put sunscreen on them. You can't fix stupid. The neighbor helped you out in a pinch, you may need her again. Hopefully not so don't make waves.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 23, 2014 11:06:36 GMT -5
You can't fix stupidSome of them apparently even make it into office! You can tell the new rules were written by people who've never stepped foot inside a daycare.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,865
|
Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2014 11:15:17 GMT -5
Just like all the crap coming out of dept of education isn't written by teachers.
|
|
Lizard Queen
Senior Associate
103/2024
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Posts: 14,659
|
Post by Lizard Queen on Jul 23, 2014 12:14:15 GMT -5
The sunburn thing would royally piss me off. There shouldn't have to be any discussion regarding sunscreen, if the kids are going to be outside for more than 20 minutes or so, sunscreen should always be applied. Everything else sounds kind of like just different rules than what your kids are used to. The not being able to bring anything from home is weird to me. Every daycare I have used has allowed the kids to bring a stuffed animal or blanket if they choose to. Tablets & other toys, not so much because other kids want to play too & they are a distraction. This is how I feel. The sunburn pissed me off because my baby's ear was so bad and it lasted so long. They would have had their sunscreen there if she were more receptive to letting them have their diaper bag there. Her yard is completely shaded by large oak trees. My own yard is mostly shaded by oaks as well. This was a little field trip (which I had consented to prior), so obviously the kids were exposed to the hot mid-day sun without any protection. They were probably roasting in the sun with their long pants that day as well, but at least their legs didn't get burnt. The food thing, well my kids are picky and will not even realize if they're hungry or thirsty a lot of the time. All I know is she served carrots, which both kids don't like. I don't know what else she gave them. I suspect she only fed or gave them drinks at specific times. You need to make sure my kids eat, or they will opt to play now and then end up starving and whiney. She watched them for a total of 7 days over 3 weeks. I didn't intend on using her again since my kids had such a hard time adjusting, which made our home life unbearable those nights. Couple that with the sunburn, and I was done with her anyway, but wanted to remain friendly since we live so close. (I saw her meeting with a new kid and his mom last night, and I felt sorry for the kid, but generally, the kids seem happy when they're playing outside.) Her yelling at my husband and calling us horrible people is what we found really disturbing. She told him that she would not watch our kids again and didn't want anything to do with us. Our not using her further didn't seem enough to cause that kind of extreme reaction from her. I mentioned the welt because I had to look closely to make sure there was a bug bite, or I was going to have a BIG problem with her. Maybe she saw it and thought that of us? I wasn't there, so I don't remember everything DH told me that she said.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 23, 2014 12:23:36 GMT -5
Her yelling at my husband and calling us horrible people is what we found really disturbing. She told him that she would not watch our kids again and didn't want anything to do with
Well then she gets her wish. It'd be nice if you could remain friendly with her but it sounds like she is incapable of separating "neighbor milizard" from "client milizard". It's insane she's taking all this so personally.
Yet another lesson in why you don't mix business with personal unfortunately. No way you could have known but now that you do stick to your plan to steer clear of her in regards to babysitting.
Let her run out of steam. Don't give her any more ammunition. What is done is done and stoking the fire over it isn't going to make crazy neighbor lady go away.
As far as daycares go and future clients go I've learned to keep my mouth shut. I recommended mine to someone. She didn't like it and then decided to be pissed at me because she needed to find other arrangements.
Gee maybe you should have given some thought to it beyond my recommendation? I figure people are going to like/hate daycares for their own reasons and not everyone can afford to be choosey. All violations/complaints are a matter of state record, people can do their own research.
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Jul 23, 2014 12:59:02 GMT -5
Her yelling at my husband and calling us horrible people is what we found really disturbing. . Yeah, that is just bizarre. At least you are done with her & don't have to send your kids over there any more.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,865
|
Post by zibazinski on Jul 23, 2014 14:33:25 GMT -5
The horrible people thing is a bit off to be sure. She DID know this was a temporary gig, right? As far as knocking as opposed to coming in, I actually get that. When my kids were kids and we lived in family neighborhood, all kids knew to just come in via the garage. If they had knocked, I'd have been constantly answering the door as opposed to doing whatever I was doing. That would have been irritating.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 23, 2014 14:42:58 GMT -5
It wasn't worth screeching at him about though.
I have to go thru a coded door to get into my daycare because they don't want anyone just walking in and taking kids. I would probably knock on the door at a home daycare as well rather than just walk in, especially if I am not the one that usually does pick up. I wouldn't want to alarm anyone.
She could have just told him next time he does pick-up go ahead and come on in since they're neighbors. No need to yell at him.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Jul 23, 2014 14:59:24 GMT -5
I personally avoid mixing any type of friendship/neighbors with business. I don't like the double edged sword of that. IF it doesn't work out, then you can move on but if it is a friend/neighbor then you can't. I have relatives that sell cars, appliances, etc and sorry I don't want to buy from them.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,224
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 23, 2014 15:10:45 GMT -5
Yep, totally agree with you Shooby (did I just say that?) The irony is my great uncle owns a business. I've worked off/on for him since I was 19. That's actually where I learned that mixing business/friends/family is a BAD idea. Love my great uncle, love my grand parents but they are absolutely incapable of not mixing work/personal. I quit before I killed them all. Then my SIL is a photographer and always wants to take pictures of Gwen. In exchange I am supposed to get free pictures. So far I've received ONE picture when Gwen was 3 months old. I stopped volunteering because I am sick of not getting my pictures. She'd never do that to a paying customer because that person has recourse. I am expected to be understanding because I am family. So now I don't have any dealings with anyone in business who I know personally. I want a level of anonymity so if the poop hits the fan I can pursue recourse or switch businesses/jobs without starting WWIII.
|
|