NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 7, 2014 14:13:49 GMT -5
If I get married while the show is still on, my mom and I talked about going on Something Borrowed, Something New
I thought about using my grandma's dress and having it re-tailored but it wasn't practical to do so. I got married in August and the dress is 100% satin, I would have died. It's a gorgeous princess type wedding dress with a full train.
Plus grandma was more well endowed than I am, I'm not sure we could have had the bodice taken in enough to get it to fit.
My mom's is too hippy for my tastes. It fit me like a glove but it wasn't my style at all.
Mine is hanging in my daughter's closet. My mom's and my grandmother's is in mine. I should really talk to her about doing something with them.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 8, 2014 13:00:48 GMT -5
I am not sure why people think that their children would want their old wedding dresses. Styles change and from I gathered most women want to pick their own dress. I think because it used to be tradition - back when clothing wasn't as "disposable" as it is today. Once you pay that much for a dress you wear for just one day, you want to believe it will have some additional usage. You want to believe that it will be beautiful forever, and that someone you love will love it as much as you. Plus, everything about your wedding is designed to make you sentimental (so they can charge you double.) Everything is supposed to have some deeper meaning - the dress is good luck, so your children will want to capture that luck - because of course, your marriage will be perfect, and they will think you are perfect and will treasure all things that relate to you. Clearly, it is all a continuation of the "Princess for a day" concept behind the wedding. That somehow, you are so special on your wedding day that generations of people will want to touch an article of clothing that you once wore. And then, you make the decision, and you put that box in the back of your closet and before you know it, two decades has passed. Now what? Meh - might as well pretend that at least a portion of that will be true. I did love seeing my mother's wedding dress, but it was torn and yellowed. Maybe my daughter will have a single day of sentimentalness and we can take the dress out and look at it - put it on, whatever.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Jan 8, 2014 14:04:05 GMT -5
I agree with Thyme that a lot of "dress saving" goes back to a time of greater frugality. Believe it or not, there was a time when folks would be appalled at the thought of wearing something once and throwing or giving it away. I understand this dynamic because I'm only one generation removed from immigration from The Old Country. My dress (as I said earlier in this thread) was taken apart by hand and re-used to make a baptismal gown. In the 19th century in this country it was a very common thing for immigrant brides to do (remake their dresses for their babies) - to them it was frugal, now to us it's more sentimental/religious ("this child was born to a marriage because she was christened in her mother's wedding gown"). And yes, there are some faint strains of "religious judgmentalness" in there - as a young teen I can remember our parish priest refusing to baptize babies who were born to single mothers ("out of wedlock"). Nice, huh? (*sarcasm* - for anyone who missed it)
And while we're on the subject of wedding gowns - I continue to get a sarcastic kick out of fundies who *insist* that white is some ancient symbol of virginal purity for a wedding. Ha! White wedding gowns did not even come into "being" until Queen Victoria wore a white dress and veil for her wedding in the 1800's. She is the one who "set" this western world wedding trend - less than 200 years ago, and not for religious reasons, either. At least in the western/European world at that time, white was a symbol of status and wealth, not "virginal purity." Only truly wealthy women could afford to have a dress that was absolutely useless for anything except standing around and looking pretty in. Middle class and working girls could not afford to own or wear clothes from which they couldn't get some good, long repeated use. White was a true indulgence for the wealthy back-in-the-day, kind of like some of the more high-end, elusive fashion status symbols of today. So nothing much has really changed with the middle classes "ape-ing" (as the Brits would say) wealthy ways in an attempt to improve themselves socially in their own minds and in the eyes of their peers.
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kindthatjingles
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Post by kindthatjingles on Jan 17, 2014 15:07:45 GMT -5
I donated mine to a charity that turns them into Baptism gowns for little ones that don't make it at birth. I had a preemie and I felt strongly about it.
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kilroy
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Post by kilroy on Jan 17, 2014 16:59:54 GMT -5
Mine's not a wedding dress, just a white cocktail style dress with a coat that goes over it. I bought it in a hurry (long story) and ended up regretting my choice. It's been hanging in my closet ever since; I could wear the dress to holiday functions, but we don't do many of those. It will probably stay in my closet until DH forgets about it & then I'll donate it somewhere.
Sorry if that sounds awful; I love my marriage, but my actual wedding was a rather slapdash affair at the marriage bureau. Not for any shotgun sort of reason, we just knew we were going to do it with just the 2 of us and a couple of witnesses, so we didn't make a big fuss about the details. DH regrets not wearing a jacket & I regret my choice of outfit.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 17, 2014 17:49:57 GMT -5
My 1st one was loaned to 1/2 brother's 2nd wife to use. I've not seen it nor her since (kidding - I saw her for a few years after until they broke up). The 2nd one was hung up in our spare closet where, unbeknownst to me, our new kitten was practicing his climbing and swinging technics. I ended up giving what was left of it to the Salvation Army. I told them about the kitty snags, etc. and they said they still wanted it.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 24, 2014 15:12:12 GMT -5
I'm going to need some help. Mother of the bride outfits are hideous. As bad as bridesmaid dresses used to be. I'm not young so a foo foo dress would look silly on me but I want something nice. Ill wear a hat for sure.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 24, 2014 15:44:07 GMT -5
I had a beautiful gown. However, i am not a sentimental type of person in regards to things. I don't attach meaning to items. I have memories and photographs. Seeing actual items just doesn't really make the memory more meaningful one way or the other. And, i know that my daughter will want her own gown, not mine. And, even if she did, doesn't mean it would fit her in a way that she liked or whatever. So, i unboxed it and sent it Goodwill. And one day, i was driving buy and i saw it on a mannequin in the window and that was kind of neat. So, hopefully, someone bought it, loved it and had a beautiful wedding.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 24, 2014 19:47:15 GMT -5
I'm going to need some help. Mother of the bride outfits are hideous. As bad as bridesmaid dresses used to be. I'm not young so a foo foo dress would look silly on me but I want something nice. Ill wear a hat for sure. Is your son getting hitched? Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 24, 2014 20:08:59 GMT -5
I kept it for 18 years, then left it behind when I moved out. Have no idea what Ex-H did with it. Maybe took it out to the range for target practice?
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 24, 2014 20:12:21 GMT -5
I donated mine to a charity that turns them into Baptism gowns for little ones that don't make it at birth. I had a preemie and I felt strongly about it. What a wonderful charity! I wish I had done that.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Jan 24, 2014 20:55:38 GMT -5
I'm going to need some help. Mother of the bride outfits are hideous. As bad as bridesmaid dresses used to be. I'm not young so a foo foo dress would look silly on me but I want something nice. Ill wear a hat for sure. Is your son getting hitched? Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I'm guessing her daughter since she said MOB dresses. ;-)
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 24, 2014 21:37:09 GMT -5
Zib: M.O.B outfits can be really nice and yet classic - and something you can wear again for other occasions. If it's not a formal wedding, but you want to wear a hat to the ceremony, a knee-length semi-formal suit or dress with an overjacket or coat is nice with matching shoes/bag.
Try something that will blend with the "wedding colors".
You can always change into a more "fun" cocktail dress for the reception.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 24, 2014 21:39:44 GMT -5
Is your son getting hitched? Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I'm guessing her daughter since she said MOB dresses. ;-) Can you tell I don't do real weddings? Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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grits
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Post by grits on Jan 24, 2014 22:00:25 GMT -5
I gave it to ZaireinHD to wear when he is speeding through snowy intersections. If they police pull him over, he can tell the officers he is late for his wedding.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 25, 2014 8:19:48 GMT -5
Nope, my kids are smarter than me but DF is insisting I set a date and do it, that he is tired of being a DF. Crap, I just renewed my passport. So there's another expense. I hear changing names is very expensive now and hard to do. Last time I did it, I just called social security and they mailed me a new card. Guessing it isn't that easy now. But there's a lot involved in getting married legal wise. Not looking forward to the hassle. I get why he wants to but we have been together for over 4 years now very happily and why rock the boat? But I am not a JP kinda gal so that means a religious ceremony at least. My hang up not his. He just doesn't want Las Vegas and an Elvis impersonator. So I need a nice outfit.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 25, 2014 10:15:37 GMT -5
Zib-you have SO many choices! I'd love to go shopping for some fabulous dress that I couldn't justify for anything else.
And not to start anything-but what is the point of changing your name? Unless you still have your ex's, then I could see it maybe? Except your kids have that name I'm guessing.
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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mizbear
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Post by mizbear on Jan 25, 2014 11:34:24 GMT -5
kitten- When I was little, the Lutheran minister refused to Christen me because my parents refused to join the church and the Nazarene church didn't do infant Christenings, just dedications. My health was questionable and my parents- particularly my mother, wanted me dedicated.
zib- Not all of them are hideous or overly expensive. My grandmother and great-grandmother always looked fabulous when I got married... My mother needed a trip to see CLinton and Stacy.... Depending on the formality and time of year, I would go with a nice suit or simple dress and coordinate hat and other accessories to go with it.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 25, 2014 12:30:21 GMT -5
Nope, my kids are smarter than me but DF is insisting I set a date and do it, that he is tired of being a DF. Crap, I just renewed my passport. So there's another expense. I hear changing names is very expensive now and hard to do. Last time I did it, I just called social security and they mailed me a new card. Guessing it isn't that easy now. But there's a lot involved in getting married legal wise. Not looking forward to the hassle. I get why he wants to but we have been together for over 4 years now very happily and why rock the boat? But I am not a JP kinda gal so that means a religious ceremony at least. My hang up not his. He just doesn't want Las Vegas and an Elvis impersonator. So I need a nice outfit. I've been wondering when you were going to get around to that wedding. Congrats!
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 25, 2014 12:36:12 GMT -5
If I get married again, I will wear something like this: linkNot that I've thought about it, or anything.
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grits
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Post by grits on Jan 25, 2014 19:57:24 GMT -5
If I get married, I will reserve this quaint little nudist resort out in the wilderness. All the butts will wear white.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 26, 2014 7:06:20 GMT -5
That's pretty but I'm not young and do not have the body to rock that dress. I do still have the EXs name and its on EVERYTHING but my butt. What a hassle. DD will change hers I am sure and the kids are well out of school, well, kind of, so that excuse doesn't matter. I've actually thought of using my maiden name again.
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 26, 2014 12:56:39 GMT -5
I kept my married name, too. My kids were 16 and 11 at the time of the divorce, and I wanted to have the same name that they did. Plus, after 18 years, I was just used to it. It would have been comparatively easy to change it at that time, now it would be a big pain.
My birth mother was married and divorced once, and at that time she made up a new last name. Just made it up. She didn't like her maiden name, was on poor terms with her parents, but didn't want to keep her married name either. She told me she decided that no matter what happened in her life in the future, she was not changing her name again.
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Plain Old Petunia
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bloom where you are planted
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on Jan 26, 2014 12:59:43 GMT -5
You know Zib, you could go get something custom made. It would be cut and tailored to flatter you. It's not all that expensive to do. You would look fabulous on your wedding day.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 26, 2014 19:27:56 GMT -5
That's a thought. A good one.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Feb 6, 2014 21:13:28 GMT -5
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 11, 2014 12:39:04 GMT -5
I'm checking out David's bridals cocktail dresses. Like the link, thanks!
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genericname
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Post by genericname on Feb 11, 2014 15:48:59 GMT -5
I donated mine to a charity that turns them into Baptism gowns for little ones that don't make it at birth. I had a preemie and I felt strongly about it. I would love to donate mine to this charity. Can you tell me where to find them? Mine's been sitting in my closet for 5 years, and I think I would like to see it bring some comfort to someone instead of just sit around. I have pictures in it, that's all I need.
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HappyCat
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Post by HappyCat on Mar 18, 2014 1:18:48 GMT -5
I wore a beautiful black dress with a white tulle accent in the back. I already had it in my closet and it was perfect. Mr. Cat wore a suit he already had as well. I still have the dress and my plan is to lose the weight I've gained due to my illness and surprise Mr. Cat by wearing it to a formal Christmas party this year. I'm working on it! (That's me exercising! ha!)
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 18, 2014 15:06:53 GMT -5
Nope, my kids are smarter than me but DF is insisting I set a date and do it, that he is tired of being a DF. Crap, I just renewed my passport. So there's another expense. I hear changing names is very expensive now and hard to do. Last time I did it, I just called social security and they mailed me a new card. Guessing it isn't that easy now. But there's a lot involved in getting married legal wise. Not looking forward to the hassle. I get why he wants to but we have been together for over 4 years now very happily and why rock the boat? But I am not a JP kinda gal so that means a religious ceremony at least. My hang up not his. He just doesn't want Las Vegas and an Elvis impersonator. So I need a nice outfit. If ti's been under a year when you get your name changes on the passport, I think they'll update it free. Changing names is a PITA (stil not done, but it's not been particularly expensive. I just went to SS with a copy of my marriage license and their form (you can print and fillout online) and it too 30 mins... I swear. There was a crying baby there and everything!!! Then you go to the DMV, flash the new ss card, marriage license and old DL and you're pretty much good. your ss card and DL act as ID for everywhere else. Lots of my stuff is still in my madien name, which isn't a big deal because I added DH's. He wanted to add mine but the Army is a giant pain about that stuff. FWIW, my wedding dress is hanging out in my closet in my house. Hasn't been sent off to being preserved because I'm going to get around to taking a few more pics in it this summer. DH bought his tux, so some additional shots isn't a big deal. (I was NOT happy with my bridals AT ALL!)
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