Violence - Documented Video Evidence

[Virgil Showlion]

Disclaimer: The following video contains footage of graphic violence. Do not watch it if you are sensitive to these kinds of things. Viewer discretion strongly advised.

www.collegehumor.com/video/6166524/cutest-thing-ever

Two words: Indisputable. Evidence.

I needn't comment but I will, knowing the spin some posters will try to put on this.

The video documents a cub, possibly less than 60 days old, already engaged in violent aggression towards humans. The footage includes several of its piercing shrieks--ordinarily used to deafen and confuse its victims. It also clearly displays the creature's hostility towards its handler, showing the uncian tearing off a piece of "flesh" (a giant chain mail glove; I wonder why they have that? ) and attacking it with a ferocity and persistence that can only be described as "unnatural".

It's like a glimpse into the mind of a serial killer. I'm surprised the establishment even let a video as damning as this get out on the Internet.

Regardless, I expect this will dispel any doubts about the veracity of my earlier claims about these monsters. I also expect that more than a few apologies will be forthcoming.

ETA: The title is just the host video site, "College Humor"'s, sick attempt at humor. I have written them to inform them the joke isn't funny, but I don't think much will come of it. I can't police the Internet.

[Deleted]

This is one of those days I am grateful my work computer doesn't have speakers! 

I am sure it is even more distracting with the audio. RAWR!

[mmhmm]

What a great video!  Thanks for posting it, Virgil.  To me, there's little as cute as a baby big cat learning to roar!  That squeak is precious!  Someday, it will be a full-blown, blood-curdling roar.  I wonder, when that magic moment first occurs, if it scares the sense out of the young cat. 

I will, though, be sure and tell my cats not to tear up any more rubber gloves.  They wouldn't want to be mistaken for snow leopards! (Or ... would they?)

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Would you like me to remove that video due to the graphic and violent content? It's obvious the beast thought the rubber glove was a human hand - and attacked that piece of clothing like it was ripping out the heart of a man.






.

[The Captain]

I can't see the video on my work computer...

will have to wait until lunch

[NancysSummerSip]

Oh, I'm skeered!

Today, a glove. Tomorrow, Virgil's boxers. Probably with him still in them, since it is unlikely he will be able to outrun the chubby little kitty as it barrels towards him, squeaking for all it's worth.

[dannylion]

I want to pet the pretty kitty. 

Virgil might feel better if he were to lie down in a darkened room for half an hour with a cold cloth over his eyes. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Too many fawning comments. Too few "We're so sorry, Virgil. You were right all along."s.

It attacks the camera. Have you ever seen an animal attack the camera? Never in all my years...

[Tennesseer]

Oct 29, 2013 9:41:39 GMT -5 The Captain said:

I can't see the video on my work computer...

will have to wait until lunch

I can't see the video and I am on my tablet at home.  

[cael]

That put the biggest smile on my face in the middle of a crap work day. kitty!!

Virgil, guess I'm just a violent sociopath or something...?

[Virgil Showlion]

I guess so.

But you seem to have found the right board for it.

[MarleyKeezy78]

I can't see the video either 

[Virgil Showlion]

YouTube apparently has it as well.



I'm warning you people, though. This thing attacks the camera. It tears into a what it thinks is a severed human arm. It shrieks. Curdles the blood.

EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeoooooouuuuuu!

Seeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooo!

Brrrr.

[Icelandic Woman]

Adorable! Just Adorable!

[mmhmm]

I was fortunate enough, years ago, to know a couple in southern California who kept exotic animals.  Some were used in films, I think.  Anyway, they had a very young lion cub who was learning to roar.  The cub was a little older than this one, so the sounds were a bit deeper, but still ... well, the little feller sorta squeaked.  That said, he looked so proud of himself!

[The Captain]

OMW!  Too freaking cute!

Virgil Showlion - Thank you SO MUCH for bringing that bit of joy into my life!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Awwww....pretty baby! I'm sure he'll grow up and become a magnificent animal!

Thanks for posting this Virgil.

[Deleted]

What a precious baby!

Also, there are days I think I need whatever drug that Virgil is on that makes him so uhm...Virgil.

[steff]

awwwwwwwwwww pretty kitty!   What a cutie!  

[dannylion]

Seriously, Virgil.  If you were peacefully minding your own business, interacting with your keeper and/or your keeper's glove like the sweet little cub in the video and some bozo stuck a camera in your face, wouldn't you take a swat at it?  It's a perfectly natural reaction, something anyone would do, and nothing to cause alarm.  And it attacked the camera, not the camerabeing, so clearly the cub has a moral compass. 

Hey!  How come I'm infected?  I was immune yesterday.

[Jaguar]

Oct 29, 2013 10:47:13 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Too many fawning comments. Too few "We're so sorry, Virgil. You were right all along."s.

It attacks the camera. Have you ever seen an animal attack the camera? Never in all my years...

Your only about 4 years old right.


OMGosh that is so adorable, I want one. No really that is so cute.

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 29, 2013 13:50:37 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Seriously, Virgil.  If you were peacefully minding your own business, interacting with your keeper and/or your keeper's glove like the sweet little cub in the video and some bozo stuck a camera in your face, wouldn't you take a swat at it?  It's a perfectly natural reaction, something anyone would do, and nothing to cause alarm.  And it attacked the camera, not the camerabeing, so clearly the cub has a moral compass. 

Hey!  How come I'm infected?  I was immune yesterday.

I watch National Geographic animal documentaries all the time.

The only animals that ever display aggression towards the camera are poisonous snakes (which the filmmakers deliberately harass and agitate so that the snake will strike out at the camera and give them that perfect "wild striking snake" shot for the highlights reel) and sharks, which they bait with a huge chunk of meat in a cage for the same reason. Aside from that? Nothing. Good, normal animals simply don't display aggression towards cameras.

Sometimes animals sniff and lick and paw at the camera, but with curiosity. Not the out-of-control rage and aggression we see in the uncian.

You can see it approaching to attack the camera a third time and the female keeper throws down her safety glove as a desperate ploy to divert its attention. The uncian is moments away from lunging straight past the camera and taking out the cameraman. But it mistakes the glove for a severed human limb and tears into it. You see a cut scene right before that. It's because the cameraman crapped his pants, I kid you not.

And don't give me these "attacking the camera, not the camera man" apologetics. The spawn is going to try to maul anything that looks human or looks like it's a part of a human. It doesn't know that the camera isn't actually a part of the cameraman. It sees a thing it wants to kill and it will rip apart whatever part of that thing it can reach first. If you don't believe me, just watch how urgently the cameraman tries to maintain his distance as the uncian approaches. You think he's scurrying away like a frightened rabbit because he wants a better picture? Oh please.

[Jaguar]

Virgil what on earth did you put into your juice cup, yanno your sippy cup this morning ?

[steff]

Oct 29, 2013 16:15:56 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Virgil what on earth did you put into your juice cup, yanno your sippy cup this morning ?

prune juice & bitters 

[Peace Of Mind]

Awwwwww!     KITTY!!!!

[Jaguar]

Oct 29, 2013 16:19:01 GMT -5 steff said:

Oct 29, 2013 16:15:56 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

Virgil what on earth did you put into your juice cup, yanno your sippy cup this morning ?

prune juice & bitters 

That was yesterday's special, he got a newer one, this morning.

[Jaguar]

That video was so cute I had to watch both versions of it.

[dannylion]

Virgil's world seems to be filled with terror and fraught with peril at every turn. 

Maybe he can take comfort from the video, though, now that he knows that a glove will suffice to distract his nemesis perhaps long enough for him to don his tinfoil hat and reach a place of safety, wherever he thinks that might be. 

Just make sure you have a supply of gloves at all times, Virgil, and you should be fine.  You could keep them in your hat.  One of those tall hats like Napoleon wore would likely conceal a lot of gloves, or a pirate hat, or one of those big swoopy hats from old Dutch paintings. 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Just make sure you have a supply of gloves at all times, Virgil, and you should be fine. You could keep them in your hat. One of those tall hats like Napoleon wore would likely conceal a lot of gloves, or a pirate hat, or one of those big swoopy hats from old Dutch paintings.

.... or one of these:

[Deleted]

so cute!