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Sexuality still isn't the whole of their relationships
It is the whole of their identity as homo- or hetero-sexuals though.
And that identity is a social construct, like all other components of identity. And it doesn't develop at birth, for reasons that were obvious to Piaget decades ago and are uncontroversial tenets of developmental cognitive science today.
It's fascinating to me how reluctant we are to just say: gay people like to have sex with people of the same biogender. Shrug. So what? Why does it have to be some great defining struggle to have sex with people of the same biogender?
ROFL! Sorry, but I'm not going to go with what Piaget found obvious decades ago, Mojo. This is 2013. I'll stay in today's world. If a person wants to perceive his/her identity as a social structure, it's okay with me. I don't see myself as a social structure. I see myself as an individualized being. I'll stick with that.
I'm not at all reluctant to say gay people like to have sex with people of their same gender. Doesn't bother me a bit. It also doesn't bother me to say some gay people, like some straight people, don't like to have sex with anyone, or like to have sex with both genders. With whom people have sex doesn't interest me in the slightest unless it's directly concerning me. I don't find other people sexual behaviors all that interesting, to be honest with you. I'm more interested in who they are, how they think, what they enjoy, and what they might have in terms of knowledge to share.
The only people who never make mistakes are those who aren't doing anything. When you give voice to your anger you're speaking through your brain's more primitive limbic system not its cortex. Is that what you want?
Well the exact same thing could be said about a celibate heterosexual, so again . . . . I don't get your point.
Well, I did elaborate a bit further - to be a celibate heterosexual, to maybe clarify, would be to not currently be sexually active but consider a putative sexual partner as being of the opposite sex; a celibate homosexual would think of a putative sexual partner as being of the same sex; a celibate object-sexual would think fondly of a beachball or rock formation; a celibate asexual would think about sandwiches, or the Broncos game.
My point in response to mmhmm's accurate claim that "one can be [gay] without doing [anything identifiable as 'gay behavior']" was that gay rights advocates already had that much freedom before the great quest for gay equality began. Very clearly, it is the doing rather than the being that is the focus for both sides - which, again, is why focusing on the being is a waste of time at best.
It also doesn't bother me to say some gay people, like some straight people, don't like to have sex with anyone, or like to have sex with both genders.
That would bother me, but I'm a general semanticist. And not so culturally imperialistic as to dismiss objective scientific research because it wasn't done today.
This is why the literature of AIDS describes "men who have sex with men" rather than "gays" - it turns out that it's really pejorative to describe AIDS, as they did back in the day, as "the gay plague," so the unfortunate fact that it's primarily spread by high-risk activities engaged in between males has to be reconfigured. It helps that a good proportion of the "men who have sex with men" don't think of themselves as "gay" either, because they have wives or girlfriends that they infect as well.
And this is what happens when you take a word that means something, and instead of dealing with what it means, metastasize it into something you can handle. This is what happens when you forget that the map is not the territory.
There is strong evidence gays are born gay. There is no such evidence pedophiles are born that way. There is a great deal more evidence these are people who enjoy exercising control over the helpless. That's a whole different can of worms, Mojo, no matter what NAMBLA says. A child cannot make a decision as to whether to indulge in such behavior, or not. It has been conclusively proven his/her brain is not prepared to make such decisions. I'm talking biology here, not morals. You talk morals. I'm sure there are those who will happily indulge you. I'm not one of them.
Sorry if this has been stated, I'm a couple pages behind, but I heard a podcast recently talking about evidence that points to a genetic component for pedophilia. I can't remember the study name, but the factoid I remember is that there is a higher correlation of certain other genetic traits, like left-handedness, in pedophiles. I think like 1/3 of (known) pedophiles are left-handed? There was some other stuff, but I'm on painkillers and not too clear right now. The context of the studies was an institute that studied pedophiles who were trying not to offend or reoffend. They also found the way that we currently treat pedophiles - in terms of isolating them after they offend, mandatory reporting of pedophiliac thoughts by mental health providers, etc., is actually the opposite of what we should be doing in order to make sure they don't offend or reoffend. Really fascinating stuff.
This is why the literature of AIDS describes "men who have sex with men" rather than "gays" - it turns out that it's really pejorative to describe AIDS, as they did back in the day, as "the gay plague," so the unfortunate fact that it's primarily spread by high-risk activities engaged in between males has to be reconfigured. It helps that a good proportion of the "men who have sex with men" don't think of themselves as "gay" either, because they have wives or girlfriends that they infect as well.
And this is what happens when you take a word that means something, and instead of dealing with what it means, metastasize it into something you can handle. This is what happens when you forget that the map is not the territory.
Got a question for everyone. Maybe several..... Yes, the couple was judgmental and wrong. Ten years ago or so, a ten percent tip was generally acceptable. Today it is between fifteen and up to what, twenty percent for exceptionable service?
If the couple left a ten cent tip with the note, is that acceptable? If they left five percent with a note, is that acceptable? If they left ten percent with a note, is that acceptable? If they left fifteen percent with a note is that acceptable?
Or, were they just supposed not to leave a note?
I understand being gay is not a choice. Does anyone think it would be correct for the couple to leave a tip, and a message at the cash register for the manager/owner that they will no longer frequent that establishment due to homosexual attendant(s)?
Or are the Christians just damned here for general beliefs by our board members, whether the customers are following their beliefs, right or wrong? Myself, I think they were cheapskates just trying to think of a reason for not stiffing a server.
Just trying to play devil's advocate here......
I see the note and tip as separate issues, but the tip being used as point of reference to get a message across to the waiter and management.
If this Christian pair was really concerned about the waiter's soul, why not speak with him directly in a loving way, first?
I believe Christians would do well if they'd learn how Christ himself, approached unbeliever's according to their Bibles. He is the perfect example of witness. Jesus offered himself, first, inwardly (into their hearts). And provoked change, outwardly, secondly.
No. I do not feel Christians are damned here for their general beliefs. We know sin is wrong. It's just that, the customers approach to change a life was out of Bible order. Had they shared the gospel with the management or the waiter prior to their non tipping actions? First things first. First share the gospel and then allow a response to follow. The unbeliever cannot understand spiritual truths. Same thing can be said of a newbie believer, but at least the newbie has proper foundation in which to mature from.
I cannot make the connection to NOT tip. I believe what the word of God says. That is this -> The kindness of God is intended to lead men to turn to him. (Romans 2:4 Amp.)
Are you suggesting (in this incident), the server might not be Christian and he might need saving? I hope not. There are many gay Christians along with many, many gay-supporting straight Christians. Even the powers that be of Catholic church do not condemn a person for simply being gay. It is the sexual act the church has a problem with.
There is strong evidence gays are born gay. There is no such evidence pedophiles are born that way. There is a great deal more evidence these are people who enjoy exercising control over the helpless. That's a whole different can of worms, Mojo, no matter what NAMBLA says. A child cannot make a decision as to whether to indulge in such behavior, or not. It has been conclusively proven his/her brain is not prepared to make such decisions. I'm talking biology here, not morals. You talk morals. I'm sure there are those who will happily indulge you. I'm not one of them.
Sorry if this has been stated, I'm a couple pages behind, but I heard a podcast recently talking about evidence that points to a genetic component for pedophilia. I can't remember the study name, but the factoid I remember is that there is a higher correlation of certain other genetic traits, like left-handedness, in pedophiles. I think like 1/3 of (known) pedophiles are left-handed? There was some other stuff, but I'm on painkillers and not too clear right now. The context of the studies was an institute that studied pedophiles who were trying not to offend or reoffend. They also found the way that we currently treat pedophiles - in terms of isolating them after they offend, mandatory reporting of pedophiliac thoughts by mental health providers, etc., is actually the opposite of what we should be doing in order to make sure they don't offend or reoffend. Really fascinating stuff.
I read something about this as well. Of course an important factor, that pedophiles do not have consensual sex, is an important part of the study and a massive difference to that of homosexuals.
Last Edit: Oct 29, 2013 16:57:59 GMT -5 by Deleted - Back to Top
Sorry if this has been stated, I'm a couple pages behind, but I heard a podcast recently talking about evidence that points to a genetic component for pedophilia. I can't remember the study name, but the factoid I remember is that there is a higher correlation of certain other genetic traits, like left-handedness, in pedophiles. I think like 1/3 of (known) pedophiles are left-handed? There was some other stuff, but I'm on painkillers and not too clear right now. The context of the studies was an institute that studied pedophiles who were trying not to offend or reoffend. They also found the way that we currently treat pedophiles - in terms of isolating them after they offend, mandatory reporting of pedophiliac thoughts by mental health providers, etc., is actually the opposite of what we should be doing in order to make sure they don't offend or reoffend. Really fascinating stuff.
I read something about this as well. Of course an important factor, that pedophiles do not have consensual sex is an important part of the study and a massive difference to that of homosexuals.
Absolutely. To be clear, I'm not condoning pedophilia, just saying the mmhmmm's assertion that there's no evidence that pedophiles are born pedophiles isn't totally true.
Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 29, 2013 18:01:55 GMT -5
I just had a mind blowing conversation recently when we were out of town with friends. I had recently met the sister of a friend at a party we'd gone to. I just knew she was gay after meeting her but never said anything about it because it just didn't matter.
While out of town this friend was showing me pictures of her family and explaining various dynamics (who was divorced and who's married to whom now) and I asked how her sister was doing. I also asked if she was single or married. She said "Well, I'm hoping and praying she gets married one day. She just recently came out but I'm praying that she goes back." Of course, I burst out laughing and said "You're kidding, right?!" She said "I'm serious. She used to be with boys when she was younger so I'm praying she goes back to boys." I said that unless she is bi I hoped she didn't hold her breath as I'd hate to lose her. The funniest part was that I knew immediately that the sister was gay and her own sister had NO idea. None! She said she just thought she was a Tom Boy. These people are in their early 40's.
Holy Cow! Pray the gay out of people... and people think that still works in the 21st century? God bless their hearts.
I just had a mind blowing conversation recently when we were out of town with friends. I had recently met the sister of a friend at a party we'd gone to. I just knew she was gay after meeting her but never said anything about it because it just didn't matter.
While out of town this friend was showing me pictures of her family and explaining various dynamics (who was divorced and who's married to whom now) and I asked how her sister was doing. I also asked if she was single or married. She said "Well, I'm hoping and praying she gets married one day. She just recently came out but I'm praying that she goes back." Of course, I burst out laughing and said "You're kidding, right?!" She said "I'm serious. She used to be with boys when she was younger so I'm praying she goes back to boys." I said that unless she is bi I hoped she didn't hold her breath as I'd hate to lose her. The funniest part was that I knew immediately that the sister was gay and her own sister had NO idea. None! She said she just thought she was a Tom Boy. These people are in their early 40's.
Holy Cow! Pray the gay out of people... and people think that still works in the 21st century? God bless their hearts.
I just had a mind blowing conversation recently when we were out of town with friends. I had recently met the sister of a friend at a party we'd gone to. I just knew she was gay after meeting her but never said anything about it because it just didn't matter.
While out of town this friend was showing me pictures of her family and explaining various dynamics (who was divorced and who's married to whom now) and I asked how her sister was doing. I also asked if she was single or married. She said "Well, I'm hoping and praying she gets married one day. She just recently came out but I'm praying that she goes back." Of course, I burst out laughing and said "You're kidding, right?!" She said "I'm serious. She used to be with boys when she was younger so I'm praying she goes back to boys." I said that unless she is bi I hoped she didn't hold her breath as I'd hate to lose her. The funniest part was that I knew immediately that the sister was gay and her own sister had NO idea. None! She said she just thought she was a Tom Boy. These people are in their early 40's.
Holy Cow! Pray the gay out of people... and people think that still works in the 21st century? God bless their hearts.
LOL! On the flip side, I have two good female friends who are long time (15+ years) roommates. One owns the house and the other rents a room. Both are straight and both date men (one even had an abortion a few years back as the result of a casual date). Yet I know "some" people around them that keep INSISTING that they MUST be gay/lesbian because "they've lived together for so long." Whatever happened to it being perfectly proper for unmarried (straight) women to live together as an alternative to bunking in with a string of casual dates/boyfriends or worse yet, still living at home?
I just had a mind blowing conversation recently when we were out of town with friends. I had recently met the sister of a friend at a party we'd gone to. I just knew she was gay after meeting her but never said anything about it because it just didn't matter.
While out of town this friend was showing me pictures of her family and explaining various dynamics (who was divorced and who's married to whom now) and I asked how her sister was doing. I also asked if she was single or married. She said "Well, I'm hoping and praying she gets married one day. She just recently came out but I'm praying that she goes back." Of course, I burst out laughing and said "You're kidding, right?!" She said "I'm serious. She used to be with boys when she was younger so I'm praying she goes back to boys." I said that unless she is bi I hoped she didn't hold her breath as I'd hate to lose her. The funniest part was that I knew immediately that the sister was gay and her own sister had NO idea. None! She said she just thought she was a Tom Boy. These people are in their early 40's.
Holy Cow! Pray the gay out of people... and people think that still works in the 21st century? God bless their hearts.
LOL! On the flip side, I have two good female friends who are long time (15+ years) roommates. One owns the house and the other rents a room. Both are straight and both date men (one even had an abortion a few years back as the result of a casual date). Yet I know "some" people around them that keep INSISTING that they MUST be gay/lesbian because "they've lived together for so long." Whatever happened to it being perfectly proper for unmarried women to live together as an alternative to bunking in with a string of casual dates/boyfriends or worse yet, still living at home?
LOL! Haven't you heard? Women are territorial bitches and that's just not possible! Personally, I've always preferred male roommates but I know a man and woman can live together without having sex too. Who knew?! We worked together and were roommates and everybody was SURE we were going at it. Until I got married and he was one of our groomsmen. I actually had one person say "I was so sure you and Britt were really dating and you just didn't want anybody at work to know. You guys looked so good together!" LOL!
Has anyone considered that fact that they exist in real life as well?
I see this note as a tool to stir up predictable hatred against Christians, and you know what?
It seems to be working very well.
I only dislike one Christian at this point: the writer of the note. And I have no room to hate anyone. Not a single soul past or present.
How about you?
I have plenty of room for hate,
1. I hate people who abuse or neglect kids 2. I hate people who enslave other human beings 3. I hate people who think an accident of birth somehow makes them superior to others (gender, race, etc) 4. I hate it when individual freedoms are eroded for the collective "good" 5. I hate people who consider human life disposable
If you can find it in yourself to love the above, then more power to you. Not quite sure what your point is, but hopefully I answered it.
I just had a mind blowing conversation recently when we were out of town with friends. I had recently met the sister of a friend at a party we'd gone to. I just knew she was gay after meeting her but never said anything about it because it just didn't matter.
While out of town this friend was showing me pictures of her family and explaining various dynamics (who was divorced and who's married to whom now) and I asked how her sister was doing. I also asked if she was single or married. She said "Well, I'm hoping and praying she gets married one day. She just recently came out but I'm praying that she goes back." Of course, I burst out laughing and said "You're kidding, right?!" She said "I'm serious. She used to be with boys when she was younger so I'm praying she goes back to boys." I said that unless she is bi I hoped she didn't hold her breath as I'd hate to lose her. The funniest part was that I knew immediately that the sister was gay and her own sister had NO idea. None! She said she just thought she was a Tom Boy. These people are in their early 40's.
Holy Cow! Pray the gay out of people... and people think that still works in the 21st century? God bless their hearts.
LOL! On the flip side, I have two good female friends who are long time (15+ years) roommates. One owns the house and the other rents a room. Both are straight and both date men (one even had an abortion a few years back as the result of a casual date). Yet I know "some" people around them that keep INSISTING that they MUST be gay/lesbian because "they've lived together for so long." Whatever happened to it being perfectly proper for unmarried (straight) women to live together as an alternative to bunking in with a string of casual dates/boyfriends or worse yet, still living at home?
Sounds like a more modern version of a 'Boston Marriage'.
I only dislike one Christian at this point: the writer of the note. And I have no room to hate anyone. Not a single soul past or present.
How about you?
I have plenty of room for hate,
1. I hate people who abuse or neglect kids 2. I hate people who enslave other human beings 3. I hate people who think an accident of birth somehow makes them superior to others (gender, race, etc) 4. I hate it when individual freedoms are eroded for the collective "good" 5. I hate people who consider human life disposable
If you can find it in yourself to love the above, then more power to you. Not quite sure what your point is, but hopefully I answered it.
Hate eats up too much of one's soul. I prefer to dislike the things you listed above and work from there.
* I'm sorry,@heart2heart, but bible quotes and proselytizing are not allowed on the Current Events forum. There is a forum for Religious Discussions and that's where this sort of post belongs. If you would like to start a companion thread there, you're welcome to do so. This post, however, will have to be removed. - mmhmm, P&M Moderator
There is strong evidence gays are born gay. There is no such evidence pedophiles are born that way. There is a great deal more evidence these are people who enjoy exercising control over the helpless. That's a whole different can of worms, Mojo, no matter what NAMBLA says. A child cannot make a decision as to whether to indulge in such behavior, or not. It has been conclusively proven his/her brain is not prepared to make such decisions. I'm talking biology here, not morals. You talk morals. I'm sure there are those who will happily indulge you. I'm not one of them.
Sorry if this has been stated, I'm a couple pages behind, but I heard a podcast recently talking about evidence that points to a genetic component for pedophilia. I can't remember the study name, but the factoid I remember is that there is a higher correlation of certain other genetic traits, like left-handedness, in pedophiles. I think like 1/3 of (known) pedophiles are left-handed? There was some other stuff, but I'm on painkillers and not too clear right now. The context of the studies was an institute that studied pedophiles who were trying not to offend or reoffend. They also found the way that we currently treat pedophiles - in terms of isolating them after they offend, mandatory reporting of pedophiliac thoughts by mental health providers, etc., is actually the opposite of what we should be doing in order to make sure they don't offend or reoffend. Really fascinating stuff.
Interesting, bsbound. I hadn't read that and will have to research it. Again, though, the difference here is the difference of consent vs lack of consent. A child cannot consent to sexual activity. An adult can. That's my major objection.
The only people who never make mistakes are those who aren't doing anything. When you give voice to your anger you're speaking through your brain's more primitive limbic system not its cortex. Is that what you want?
That's true of heterosexuals, as well, laterbloomer. Sexuality still isn't the whole of their relationships.
I know. But none of this is the point. You said homosexuality isn't all about sex. And I keep saying it is. The stuff you are saying about there being more to relationships than sex is completely irrelevant to someone's sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is all about who you want to have sex with. Having sex is about the only thing that distinguishes my romantic relationships from my relationships with close friends or family.
I'm afraid I disagree, laterbloomer. Every person is a sum of their parts. Sexual orientation may indicate the gender to which you're sexually attracted, but people are more than their sexual orientation. To me, we're talking about people here, not just one aspect of them.
The only people who never make mistakes are those who aren't doing anything. When you give voice to your anger you're speaking through your brain's more primitive limbic system not its cortex. Is that what you want?
The only people who never make mistakes are those who aren't doing anything. When you give voice to your anger you're speaking through your brain's more primitive limbic system not its cortex. Is that what you want?
I know. But none of this is the point. You said homosexuality isn't all about sex. And I keep saying it is. The stuff you are saying about there being more to relationships than sex is completely irrelevant to someone's sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is all about who you want to have sex with. Having sex is about the only thing that distinguishes my romantic relationships from my relationships with close friends or family.
I'm afraid I disagree, laterbloomer. Every person is a sum of their parts. Sexual orientation may indicate the gender to which you're sexually attracted, but people are more than their sexual orientation. To me, we're talking about people here, not just one aspect of them.
We are not talking about an individual. We are talking about a group of people who's only commonality is their sexuality. We can't talk about more than one aspect of them because there is nothing else that they ALL have in common. The same would be true if we were talking about homosexuals, bisexuals or asexuals.
Sorry if this has been stated, I'm a couple pages behind, but I heard a podcast recently talking about evidence that points to a genetic component for pedophilia. I can't remember the study name, but the factoid I remember is that there is a higher correlation of certain other genetic traits, like left-handedness, in pedophiles. I think like 1/3 of (known) pedophiles are left-handed? There was some other stuff, but I'm on painkillers and not too clear right now. The context of the studies was an institute that studied pedophiles who were trying not to offend or reoffend. They also found the way that we currently treat pedophiles - in terms of isolating them after they offend, mandatory reporting of pedophiliac thoughts by mental health providers, etc., is actually the opposite of what we should be doing in order to make sure they don't offend or reoffend. Really fascinating stuff.
Interesting, bsbound. I hadn't read that and will have to research it. Again, though, the difference here is the difference of consent vs lack of consent. A child cannot consent to sexual activity. An adult can. That's my major objection.
Again - not condoning pedophilia, merely pointing out that new research suggests that there is a genetic component.
Actually, laterbloomer, we're talking about a couple at a restaurant who left a nasty note for someone they decided was gay. The rest of this is just icing on the original subject. Nevertheless, like any other group of people, I'll bet you'd find more commonalities between any given group of people than simply their sexuality.
The only people who never make mistakes are those who aren't doing anything. When you give voice to your anger you're speaking through your brain's more primitive limbic system not its cortex. Is that what you want?