imanangel
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Post by imanangel on Feb 24, 2015 0:46:28 GMT -5
I did but most of the good ones do this. I wasn't willing to go with a fly by night company. DS was going to get permit and license anyway. Was this in Michigan? They did it to us too, that is why I am assuming Michigan.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 24, 2015 10:30:15 GMT -5
Nope, Florida, but DH says Michigan does it, too. Because of that insane unlimited medical.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 26, 2015 12:10:16 GMT -5
Thought I would update everyone on what is going on in my life. I'm currently "on vacation". Almost three weeks ago, I put in my resignation to my super-stressful job. No other job lined up, nothing. Hun was behind me 100%. I've been so stressed out with this job that it has affected all parts of my life. Looking back, hindsight being 20/20 and all, all of our problems started when I took the original job in Medical Staff three years ago. The stress started within weeks of me being there. Very little training, very little explanation on what I was doing, and a whole lot of me trying to figure out what my job actually was. I had probably 30 months of 36 where I had overtime of more than 50 hours a week (some as high as 80 hours a week), including working on the weekends without pay researching how to do my job. Money wise - our problems started with buying the boat - but relationship, family, household, health problems, personal, everything else started with that job change. I spent most of the 3 years attempting to teach myself the job. I learned from everywhere I could, but with a home-life that can be just as stressful on top of massive overtime, there just isn't enough hours in the day to complete all the tasks. I hit a breaking point. My boss didn't understand why I wasn't able to complete even more tasks, after all, I had been in the position almost 3 years. It included a trip to HR. I told both of them (HR and boss) that I just couldn't do it anymore. That I had to resign. I had put everything I could of myself into the job and they still required more. 20 years at the company and I just didn't care....my life was more important than any paycheck. Breaking down like I did made my boss realize exactly how hard I had been working and trying. The next day she brought me into her office (after I had submitted my 2 week notice/resignation) and stated that as far as she was concerned, that could be my last day and she would ensure HR paid me for my full time. She stated she knew I was stressed, but didn't realize how deep it actually was, that I hid it really well. She also let me know she would talk to a couple of other department directors who were looking for help if I wanted to switch jobs rather than just resign.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 26, 2015 12:15:31 GMT -5
Thanks for the update, Boo. I'm sorry it ended this way, job-wise. But it could also be a new beginning for you. Take a bit of time, but don't let yourself get too far away from the working world, if you want to go back. Just keep your options open and your eye on your most important prizes: yourself and the family.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 26, 2015 12:23:06 GMT -5
The original plan, when I spoke with Hun, was I would put my resignation in, take 4-6 weeks off to mentally recuperate, catch up on everything around the house that I hadn't gotten to (mostly my projects) and then start looking for work at that point. I have 10 weeks of vacation time that I would receive to tide us over while I found a new job. I was willing to take temp work as well if I couldn't find anything permanent.
Life has a different plan.
I went ahead and put in an application for a position with the company at the same time I put in my resignation. My boss talked to that department's boss and I received a phone call last Monday, a week ago (this past Friday was my last day at work). The director told me the job I had applied for was already filled, but they just had 2 unexpected openings come up and would I be interested in either of those? Very similar work, so I said sure.
By Tuesday, they had an interview set up for Wednesday. Interviewed with 2 others (along with a group from the department). Turns out, there was 3 positions open, total, in the department, and they wanted to see how each of us would interact as a whole.
I was "unofficially" offered the job on Thursday with the understanding that I would also be working with the other 2 who were also interviewed. Officially offered the job on Friday with the request to start working on Monday. I told the new boss that I couldn't do that - that I needed at least a week off! Tentatively scheduled to start March 30th.
I thought about it overnight and called them back, including HR. For my own health and well being, I needed two weeks off and I would start the beginning of the next pay-period. I don't think the new boss was that thrilled with me requesting that....but you know what? I know what I need.
These last 3 years, I've been doing what everyone else needs me to do. I need this for myself. I'm almost through the first week of "vacation" and I'm so glad I took another week. If I had to look at going to work on Monday, I don't think I would be in a very good mental place at that point. I'm still struggling with a roller-coaster of emotions right now.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 26, 2015 12:34:54 GMT -5
The new job is a huge pay cut, but I also don't care about that. I'll still be making more than minimum because of my job tenure, but it isn't peanuts either ($17hr). Plus, there is no overtime. Set hours to work and a set list of tasks. I'll be interacting with patients (front desk reception) and it was highly stressed in the interview that they needed patient satisfaction scores to go UP and to go up fast! That is something I can do with my eyes closed. Part of the reason the director hired me is her talking to others that know me. She stated she could teach me the computer programs, but she can't teach personality and how to interact with people pleasantly in the face of unpleasant circumstances (face it - patients at a hospital are not usually happy that they are there). Every response she received back from other departments was that I would be great in the position because of my upbeat personality and ability to make everyone around me feel relaxed. So...I start a new area of my life. I have a list of things I want to accomplish around the house while I am home. However, that list is NOT required for me to finish. I'm taking one day at a time as it comes. Doing what I feel like doing and basically taking it easy. I slept till 10am this morning and it felt great! I had the kids help me mow the grass yesterday and that also felt great! It's after 12:30pm where I am right now and I haven't done anything of substance since getting out of bed. I don't feel guilty at all! LOL!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 26, 2015 12:42:18 GMT -5
Hooray for you!!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 26, 2015 12:43:40 GMT -5
I'm sorry things had to happen the way they did, Kara, but it sounds to me like you took the bull by its proverbial horns and have it all under control. I hope this new job allows you to enjoy your life and I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and put your needs first, for a change! Kudos!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 26, 2015 12:56:49 GMT -5
I'm sorry too - I really did like the work I was doing - I just couldn't learn it fast enough to be successful at it under the circumstances. My boss and I had several conversations about how she didn't know how anyone could learn the job under the circumstances I had been thrown into. She was surprised that I was as successful as I was under those circumstances.
But at what cost?
Not enough to keep me trying to muddle through it. I threw in the towel. That part depresses me because I have never given up on anything before. I've always found a way to overcome the obstacles in my way. For me - this one was just insurmountable. At least at this time.
I talked to another director from Medical Staff at a different entity on Friday (meeting with her and my boss that had been scheduled for months). She was sorry to see me go as well as everyone knew of my circumstances and had tried to help me in the best way they could. We all lamented that the company doesn't have a dedicated training person for our specific program because it is so overwhelming - even for people who know what they are doing in the job. I told them both that if a position ever opened up, to let me know - I'd love that part of the job - training others on the program itself. I loved the program - I just couldn't learn the tasks associated with the job fast enough (there are layers upon layers upon layers of exceptions to "rules" and "tasks").
They both said I would be top of their list if that ever happened as I had taught both of them things on the program and they are seasoned veterans of the job (one of them had worked the program from the beginning and I still taught her things that day that she didn't know).
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 26, 2015 13:04:13 GMT -5
Sounds like it's working for you, and you have done all the best things you can do. Are they the right things? Only you know that and frankly, you're the only one who has to be the judge on this. So enjoy the next few days and do as much of nothing as you want to do.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 27, 2015 8:04:32 GMT -5
Man, 2 weeks off. Sounds like bliss. And in a way, I'm looking forward to getting my gallbladder out because it's a 2 week min. recovery time.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 10:45:23 GMT -5
Wisconsin Beth - Bliss it is! Well....kind of....still dealing with sucky stuff, but not HAVING to do anything is awesome! I hope your 2 weeks off is peaceful, but I'm glad I'm not having surgery to accomplish it myself! On to the next chapter.....
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 27, 2015 11:03:07 GMT -5
Man, 2 weeks off. Sounds like bliss. And in a way, I'm looking forward to getting my gallbladder out because it's a 2 week min. recovery time. Actually, it ain't a bad two weeks for most folks. It's not a horrible surgery.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 11:08:32 GMT -5
Just got back from a meeting with the school counselor for Rowdy. Man....he frustrates me..... He asked last week that we (Hun and I) talk with her so she could explain to us the alternative school he wants to go to in better terms. We've never been against this - just cautioned him that it might not be exactly what he's expecting either. I asked him to set up the appointment because I was still at work, but that I would be off this week and available to meet with her. His dad asked him if it was okay that I just went because he's had so much time off for other appointments, that he wasn't sure he could get off for this - Rowdy said that was fine. Until the meeting actually happened that is.....(that I had to set up because he repeatedly lied about her "not being available") She restated everything that we've been telling him and that the alternative school isn't going to work for him if he doesn't do the work. She pointed out that he's already in an alternative class and only has 19% of the online work done and he's been in the class since the beginning of the semester (around 10 weeks). I let her do ALL of the talking for the first 20 minutes. Then she said something (I don't remember what now) and he raised his hackles. I asked him to calm down and he turned on me. Part of the conversation had to do with him taking responsibility - I do remember that because he started in on how it was "stupid" that he's required to take electives and some other things. I told him I had thought about our conversation yesterday (about the same subject) and had realized that he's not upset at the requirements, but rather, he's upset with the fact that he's put himself into this position by failing the classes the last couple of years and has no one left to blame but himself. That's he's realizing that what we said would happen IS happening and he's mad there's no one to point the finger at except himself. Oh boy....did that get him going! We calmed him down, but not after threatening to bring in the on-site police officer, him calling me every name in the book, and him threatening to just drop out of school. I finished up by telling him that it was time to call another "meeting of the parents" to review where we were at if this was his plan. He got very hostile in tone and the counselor called him out on it and said that wasn't appropriate. All in all - a meeting that should have only been about 20-30 minutes max lasted well over an hour. After he left, the counselor asked me to stay for a few more minutes. We talked about the fact that some kids have to hit the brick wall to learn the lessons we've been trying to teach and he's headed for that wall at full speed. I asked her a couple of clarifying questions on the alternative school option and agreed that he had to be the one to do the work to be successful. As I was leaving, she patted me on the back and said, "I'm sorry, but it's not going to get any easier with him over the next year. Good Luck to all of you!"
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 27, 2015 11:15:57 GMT -5
Ahh, Kara, I feel your pain, hon. It wasn't my son who bounced off the rails for a time. It was my stubborn daughter. We went through a couple of years of abject misery. Now, I don't know a better person than she, but ... well, it was a journey, to say the least!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 11:25:08 GMT -5
A Journey - That it is! I have family members telling me to just give up on him, that he's not my responsibility. That makes me so sad that they feel that way. I've been in his life since he was 3 years old and I refuse to give up on him just because I didn't give birth to him. He's a good kid (deep down), but he's stubborn and believes in doing things his way, regardless of if it makes sense or not. He doesn't like the fact that I call him out on the crazy statements he makes and point out the flaws in his thinking. He likes it even less when it turns out that I'm right. I think he'd rather eat glass than admit I was right! Anyway - talked to both his mom and his dad - we have another meeting set up with the "group" (the 3 adults) and him at 3pm tomorrow to discuss where we're at now based on this meeting today.....
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 27, 2015 12:36:39 GMT -5
Good luck Kara, and good for you for giving up on that job that was not giving you any support. Three years and multiple times asking for help is enough.
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quince
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Post by quince on Mar 27, 2015 13:15:22 GMT -5
Man, 2 weeks off. Sounds like bliss. And in a way, I'm looking forward to getting my gallbladder out because it's a 2 week min. recovery time. Wait, wait, what? You mean I shouldn't have gone back to work the next week? DAMN IT!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 27, 2015 14:37:41 GMT -5
He needs a boarding school for troubled children. The structure and education will help him and the rest of you. His problems are causing other problems. Plus, I'm sure some resentment.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 27, 2015 14:39:36 GMT -5
He needs a boarding school for troubled children. The structure and education will help him and the rest of you. His problems are causing other problems. Plus, I'm sure some resentment. shall we start a "Go Fund Me" site for Kara? Those aren't cheap.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 27, 2015 14:40:47 GMT -5
At least it's for a good cause not my prom dress isn't expensive enough.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 27, 2015 14:51:12 GMT -5
Man, 2 weeks off. Sounds like bliss. And in a way, I'm looking forward to getting my gallbladder out because it's a 2 week min. recovery time. Wait, wait, what? You mean I shouldn't have gone back to work the next week? DAMN IT! Sorry quince my surgeon does 2 weeks of recovery for desk jobs. And there's another 2 weeks of nothing too strenuous apparently. All of which suck when you first learn your gall bladder hates you about 3.5 weeks before a scheduled vacation at WDW in Florida.
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quince
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Post by quince on Mar 27, 2015 15:03:21 GMT -5
Wait, wait, what? You mean I shouldn't have gone back to work the next week? DAMN IT! Sorry quince my surgeon does 2 weeks of recovery for desk jobs. And there's another 2 weeks of nothing too strenuous apparently. All of which suck when you first learn your gall bladder hates you about 3.5 weeks before a scheduled vacation at WDW in Florida. My fault for not investigating further when the surgeon said "do you need anything for work?" No, enemy gallbladders are no fun.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 27, 2015 15:06:01 GMT -5
As I was leaving, she patted me on the back and said, "I'm sorry, but it's not going to get any easier with him over the next year. Good Luck to all of you!" Is Rowdy still planning on Joining the military? Might be a little difficult if he doesn't straighten out. -hug-Glad to *see* you.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 15:11:38 GMT -5
He needs a boarding school for troubled children. The structure and education will help him and the rest of you. His problems are causing other problems. Plus, I'm sure some resentment. I suggested Job Corps to DH - he was totally against that idea and didn't think it would help him any. He's basing this opinion on the time he worked at one for his own job and wasn't impressed with what he saw. At this point - I'm going to allow him (Rowdy) to hit the brick wall. I'm bringing the information up that I learned with the counselor today - but if Rowdy doesn't want to do the work, then I'm not going to stress about it any more. He's the one refusing to put the hard work in to accomplish his goals in life. The other thing I'm going to do (at some point - not right away) is lay out exactly what is and is not considered "his" at our house. I'm sure he's thinking that he'll drop out, move in with mom or a friend and take "his" stuff with him. Uh....no. That bed - that's ours for while he's living with us, or if he wants to come back for a night or weekend. He doesn't get to take that with unless we choose to give it to him - and I don't choose to help him if he's going to thumb his nose at everyone attempting to help.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 15:13:14 GMT -5
As I was leaving, she patted me on the back and said, "I'm sorry, but it's not going to get any easier with him over the next year. Good Luck to all of you!" Is Rowdy still planning on Joining the military? Might be a little difficult if he doesn't straighten out. -hug-Glad to *see* you. At this moment, even if he was, they wouldn't accept him.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 27, 2015 15:25:52 GMT -5
Is Rowdy still planning on Joining the military? Might be a little difficult if he doesn't straighten out. -hug-Glad to *see* you. At this moment, even if he was, they wouldn't accept him. That's the point I was getting at. They're really tightening up enlistment. However if he has the drive and gets things ok academically and can learn to obey the CO, might not be the worst idea. It's kept my Dumbass SIL (love her but she's very impulsive and makes poor choices due to this) employed and out of serious trouble.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 15:36:30 GMT -5
Rowdy has a "secret" agenda that he's not bothering to let anyone know about. I've discussed with DH what I think it is - he agrees with me that it is probably pretty close to accurate.
I'm pretty sure Rowdy is just biding his time until the end of the school year and then plans on moving out - either to his mom's house or maybe his uncle's. He'll be 17 at that point. Legally, we could fight it - but would it be worth the trouble? Probably not and we'll probably allow him to hit the brick wall.
In the middle of our conversation yesterday, I commented to Rowdy that it would be a lot easier to let us know what his "secret plan" is so that we could all help him be successful. He tried to say I had no idea what I was talking about and then tried to get me to tell him what I "thought" he was thinking. Told him - nope - I'm not going to give you another idea if I happen to be wrong. Based on other comments, I'm pretty sure I'm right though.
I'd say the military would be the best thing for him. I really doubt he's going to go that way though - he hates being told what to do and when to do it, which is why we're having so many problems with him now.....
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 27, 2015 15:46:16 GMT -5
Rowdy has a "secret" agenda that he's not bothering to let anyone know about. I've discussed with DH what I think it is - he agrees with me that it is probably pretty close to accurate. I'm pretty sure Rowdy is just biding his time until the end of the school year and then plans on moving out - either to his mom's house or maybe his uncle's. He'll be 17 at that point. Legally, we could fight it - but would it be worth the trouble? Probably not and we'll probably allow him to hit the brick wall. In the middle of our conversation yesterday, I commented to Rowdy that it would be a lot easier to let us know what his "secret plan" is so that we could all help him be successful. He tried to say I had no idea what I was talking about and then tried to get me to tell him what I "thought" he was thinking. Told him - nope - I'm not going to give you another idea if I happen to be wrong. Based on other comments, I'm pretty sure I'm right though. I'd say the military would be the best thing for him. I really doubt he's going to go that way though - he hates being told what to do and when to do it, which is why we're having so many problems with him now..... So does my SIL. She complains all the time, but this is the first time she's been employed at the same job for over a year!! ETA: she went in at 23, so she roughly spent 5 years floating around with no direction...
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 27, 2015 15:52:37 GMT -5
Rowdy will probably do the same thing - floating around with no direction until he decides to figure one out. He's a smart kid, I know he'll figure it out eventually, it's just painful watching him at the moment.
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