Elizabeth
Familiar Member
"The inner mechanations of my mind are an enigma."
Joined: Jan 31, 2011 23:46:40 GMT -5
Posts: 711
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Post by Elizabeth on Feb 23, 2011 21:50:41 GMT -5
HAHAHA! Now I would really enjoy seeing some air guitar in the car! Rock on, Nancy!!
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Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:32:12 GMT -5
Posts: 12,329
Today's Mood: Twinkling
Location: Wishing Star
Favorite Drink: Fresh, clean cold bottled water.
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 24, 2011 11:27:45 GMT -5
Thank you neighbor for cutting down the poplar trees. I am sorry to see a living thing die but they have been a problem for years. Dropping large leaves late into the winter. Broken branches in the yard. One tree falling and taking out the fence.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,347
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 24, 2011 11:54:02 GMT -5
Dear phone survey guy,
If you call at 8:00 pm at night when I am trying to get my baby to go to sleep ONE MORE TIME I am going to hunt you down like in that David Spade commerical!
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,382
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Feb 24, 2011 11:54:53 GMT -5
I have to do a reverse on Artemis3044 (nothing personal, but she did remind me): Dear stupid snowbird neighbor behind us, You did a really dumb thing cutting down the trees and bushes along the back fence line. We liked them. Mostly because they hid your ugly house, which you only occupy eight weeks out of the year. Yeah, I know they were on your side of the fence, and you can do what you want, but sheesh, the resulting environmental pollution from having to look at your place just sucks. I hope everything grows back and the roots break your yardman's lawnmower. So there.
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kimber45
Senior Member
Life's too short to own an ugly gun
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 9:40:27 GMT -5
Posts: 3,933
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Post by kimber45 on Feb 24, 2011 12:40:19 GMT -5
Dear Big Dog: Please go poop in the woods or the field next door, not where everybody walks
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Post by lisabelle on Feb 24, 2011 12:51:55 GMT -5
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 24, 2011 12:56:41 GMT -5
Q: How many elephants will fit into a Mini? A: Four: Two in front, two in back Q: How many giraffes will fit into a Mini? A: None. It’s full of elephants. Q: How do you get two whales in a Mini? A: Along the M4 and and across the Sever Bridge. Q: How do you know when there are two elephants in your refrigerator? A: You can hear giggling when the light goes out. Q: How do you know when there are three elephants in your refrigerator? A: When you can’t close the door. Q: How do you know when there are four elephants in your refrigerator? A: When there is a Mini parked outside. Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue elephant gun. Q: How do you shoot a red elephant? A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, then shoot him with the blue elephant gun. Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant? A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant? Q: What do elephants have that nothing else has? A: Baby elephants. Q: What is grey, has four legs, and a trunk? A: A mouse going on holiday. Q: What is brown, has four legs, and a trunk? A: A mouse coming back from holiday. Q: What has eight legs, two trunks , four eyes, and two tails? A: Two elephants. Q: What’s harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen? A: Getting an elephant pregenant in a Volkswagen. Q: Why is a elephant big, grey, and wrinkley? A: Because if it was small, white and hard, it would be aspirin. Q: Why are golf balls small and white? A: Because if they were big and grey, they would be elephants. OMG someone updated The Elephant Joke book? THANK YOU THYME. and my Mom thanks you too. Background - we have a very tattered copy of The Elephant Joke Book. It was a gag gift to my mom in the 1960s (It's got Kennedy/elephant jokes in it.) and my family has adored it for years.
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thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,454
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 24, 2011 12:57:58 GMT -5
Anything to add a little fun and happiness into your life.
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Sharon
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:48:11 GMT -5
Posts: 11,186
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Post by Sharon on Feb 24, 2011 19:20:20 GMT -5
Dear Co-worker;
Pay your bills would ya. You know I cover your area in the morning until you get in which includes answering your phone. I don't enjoy talking to your crediters multiple times every single morning.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
Administrator
Rest in Peace
Only Bites Whiners
Joined: Jan 12, 2011 20:40:24 GMT -5
Posts: 9,693
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Feb 24, 2011 20:33:02 GMT -5
Dear Clients;
Stop signing up for services you can't afford and giving my phone number as the contact number. I am mandated as to how I prioritize bills, and your second cell phone is way down on the list.
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TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,294
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 24, 2011 21:44:31 GMT -5
Dear Person Who Had My Cell Phone Number Before Me:
It's been over 18 months. Would you stop giving it out to your creditors. It would be a lot easier on me and they seem not to believe me when I tell them what a scum bag you are.
Oh, you might tell your friends your new number. You didn't seem to bother and they like to call in the middle of the night.
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wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,735
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 24, 2011 22:08:29 GMT -5
Dear asthma/allergy clinic: You can't seem to tell me what's wrong with me only what isn't the problem. While its nice I don't have blood clots, I'm still in pain and having trouble breathing. And now you have sent my test results with my name and information on them to another patient. Way to go morons. You know I probably work for the division of government that enforces HIPAA so that wasn't a smart move.
My dad called me about my mail. They sent me information with someone else's name and my address on it. So I got this lady's information on how to take these pills and I'm assuming she got my test results. These people are supposed to be the very best allergy/asthma doctors here but I'm about done messing with their bs.
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Post by usamomma on Feb 24, 2011 22:13:36 GMT -5
Dear Doctor
Could you learn to write more clearly so my pharmacist does not mess up my prescription? Last time he gave me something for my asthma, or so I thought and I was hallucinating like I was on acid and had to be taken to the ER who advised the on-staff doc to have me taken in for a 72 hour 5150 psych eval. I have never been on acid or have ever suffered hallucinations before.
So please, write more clearly next time you write a prescription, or better yet, have your secretary write your notes out for you.
Thanks
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wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,735
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 24, 2011 22:15:03 GMT -5
And this is why I like the system my primary care doctor has. Its done on the computer and printed out. Guess it could be screwy if the printer was low on ink.
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queenofcorona
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 17:16:54 GMT -5
Posts: 707
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Post by queenofcorona on Feb 24, 2011 23:05:57 GMT -5
Dear HR dimwit,
When individual employees meet with the health insurance representative, it's not appropriate for you to linger and listen to the conversation. The general health care plan is not what's being discussed; thus, the convo falls into the None of Your Beeswax category. Capish? Scoot along now.
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The Home 6
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:24:57 GMT -5
Posts: 1,906
Location: Bourbon Country
Favorite Drink: Wine. With a wine chaser.
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Post by The Home 6 on Feb 25, 2011 6:00:49 GMT -5
Dear Doctor~ I know you are a busy man. I know it may seem that as a SAHM, I have nothing better than to do than to drive nearly 2 hours (through Atlanta traffic) one way to get to your office, with my 2 children in tow, and get there early, as your secretary requested. But !@#$%^&*!! You kept me waiting in the exam room for over an HOUR. Not even a 'sorry to keep you waiting'. Thank you for making me run into Atlanta rush hour traffic on my way back home and miss my briefing at battalion. Thanks SOOOO much.
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Befferz
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 7, 2011 22:45:16 GMT -5
Posts: 3,580
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Post by Befferz on Feb 25, 2011 12:04:05 GMT -5
Dear northern states drivers,
It's freaking February! Don't you know how to drive in snow by now??? If not, you're obviously never going to learn, so either move south, or stop trying to drive between November and March.
kthanxbye
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 25, 2011 12:09:39 GMT -5
Dear northern states drivers, It's freaking February! Don't you know how to drive in snow by now??? If not, you're obviously never going to learn, so either move south, or stop trying to drive between November and March. kthanxbye You are getting exalted once I get my powers back.
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kimber45
Senior Member
Life's too short to own an ugly gun
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 9:40:27 GMT -5
Posts: 3,933
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Post by kimber45 on Feb 25, 2011 12:12:02 GMT -5
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,382
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Feb 25, 2011 12:12:33 GMT -5
Better they stop driving, Beff. We don't want anymore of them here. Geez, our roads already look like a demolition derby with northern license plates. OK, there are a few Florida drivers in there, too.
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Befferz
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 7, 2011 22:45:16 GMT -5
Posts: 3,580
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Post by Befferz on Feb 25, 2011 12:17:04 GMT -5
LOL, thanks Beth and Kimber. We got a dusting of snow this morning, and there was a major accident on my way to work. And of course it would be on the day I needed to get here early... And nancy, I didn't say they had to move to FL, just move south of here. I hear Oklahoma is nice this time of year. But yes, better to have them just stop driving altogether. Maybe then gas prices would go down too? ;D
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happyscooter
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 5, 2011 9:04:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,416
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Post by happyscooter on Feb 25, 2011 13:05:49 GMT -5
'And nancy, I didn't say they had to move to FL, just move south of here. ' We don't want them in NC either. We have enough of our own rednecks here.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,382
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Feb 25, 2011 13:11:26 GMT -5
OKlahoma would be OK; I hear there's lots of room there. And a tornado or two to scare the beejeebers out of them. Might keep them off the road for good.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
Administrator
Rest in Peace
Only Bites Whiners
Joined: Jan 12, 2011 20:40:24 GMT -5
Posts: 9,693
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 4, 2011 13:32:00 GMT -5
Dear Client -
I don't care what the bank told you. They are not allowed to set up an account for you where your benefits go directly to you, that is why I'm your Rep Payee.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,382
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 4, 2011 14:08:09 GMT -5
IG, you will now be exalted for finding this thread! I've been looking for it like crazy!
Dear Office Hag,
You came into work sick. Again. Why? You are not that important. You can work from home and keep your germs there, not to mention your inappropriate outfits, hairy unmanicure toes and wet-finger-in-the-light-socket hair. Now take your snotty nose and go blow someplace else.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,382
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Mar 4, 2011 14:09:07 GMT -5
Oh, and karma for MDW in an hour, too, since he actually posted first!
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whiskmav
Familiar Member
I like my tide and my table turned.
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 13:16:46 GMT -5
Posts: 718
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Post by whiskmav on Mar 4, 2011 14:23:01 GMT -5
Dear smart ass, Yes, I was waiting for a car to leave it's parking spot and did not realize I was blocking you trying to get out of your slot. Instead of trying to squeeze by and scraping the paint off my back bumper, I would have moved had you beeped your horn. No, I did not realize you were sitting in your car waiting for me to block you in before you decided you were ready to leave - otherwise I would have been waiting for YOUR spot. PS - flipping me off after I move for you just pissed me off and since my minivan is easily 4 times the size of your POS be thankful I wasn't having a Fried Green Tomatoes day. And that's why I park in the back 40. I also find it amusing when people troll the aisles for a close spot when they're going to the gym.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
Administrator
Rest in Peace
Only Bites Whiners
Joined: Jan 12, 2011 20:40:24 GMT -5
Posts: 9,693
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 4, 2011 21:43:38 GMT -5
Dear Social Worker -
Our mutual client's natural gas bill does not come to me, but to the client. How the smurf am I supposed to know how much to pay and that past due/disconnect notices are being sent to them unless you pass them on to me?
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Deleted
Joined: May 21, 2024 21:31:27 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2011 22:21:06 GMT -5
Dear smart ass, Yes, I was waiting for a car to leave it's parking spot and did not realize I was blocking you trying to get out of your slot. Instead of trying to squeeze by and scraping the paint off my back bumper, I would have moved had you beeped your horn. No, I did not realize you were sitting in your car waiting for me to block you in before you decided you were ready to leave - otherwise I would have been waiting for YOUR spot. PS - flipping me off after I move for you just pissed me off and since my minivan is easily 4 times the size of your POS be thankful I wasn't having a Fried Green Tomatoes day. And that's why I park in the back 40. I also find it amusing when people troll the aisles for a close spot when they're going to the gym. I don't mind walking! It was one of the first beautiful weekend evenings at an open town center so there was NO parking. Even the back 40 was full! Oh, and our old gym had an elevator in it... that was used ALL THE TIME! But not by me ;D
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TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,294
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 4, 2011 22:48:25 GMT -5
Dear Client - I don't care what the bank told you. They are not allowed to set up an account for you where your benefits go directly to you, that is why I'm your Rep Payee. My client DID open a bank account and, of course, overdrew it in the same month. I went with her to the bank to pay off the overdraft and close the account. I also told them to never open another account for her. She also opened a credit card which she couldn't pay. The original limit on it was $100. She ignored all the bills that came until she gave me the entire stack of unopened bills. By then the bill was over $300. That is why I always keep a balance in your account. I know you will pull one of these things again.
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