Stranger at the door at 5:30am..what would you do?

[servant_of_dog]

I got up this morning to feed the pets, and saw someone enter our yard and approach the front door.  My dog freaked out (yay for scary-sounding dog!), and the guy asked (from outside our door) if he could use our phone.  My DH woke from a sound sleep to take over the situation, and sent the guy on his way.
It was weird.  I feel like I should have called someone, since the guy was in a short-sleeved shirt and it's only in the 40s temperature-wise, and it was really only 5:30 in the morning, so I'm not sure that he found anyone else awake to help him.  I don't know.
Should I have called the police?

[Deleted]

I would never let someone in to use the phone, but would offer to make a call for them.

[servant_of_dog]

I would never let someone in to use the phone, but would offer to make a call for them.
You know, I've been thinking about that, and I wonder if he could have come up with a phone number for me to call...I can't even remember my DH's cell number since it's programmed into my phone.  I guess I could have looked up the number for a cab, if he had wanted that.

[Shooby]

  I would not open the door.  I might offer to use the phone and call someone from inside the house for that person.  It is possible that maybe he was on his way to work and his car broke down or something like that.   But, you have to trust your instinct.  Certainly there is no way i would open the door.

[Shooby]

  Well, i rarely carry my cell.  And, half the time i do, seems like i have a dead battery.  If it was 3 am, i think i would be more suspect.  We are pretty much up at 5:30 so for me that doesn't seem like an unusual time.   And, i think it would depend if it i looked out and it was someone dressed in work clothes or looked more kept versus someone with who might look more like they were looking for drugs or something.  Yeah, i know you can't always tell.  I am not overly suspicious so i would take the precaution of not opening the door but i don't think i would just immediately call the police especially if DH was home with me.  If he wasn't, i wouldn't even answer the door at all.  I would just let that person knock and then if they didn't go away after a couple of knocks, then i would call the police.
  I do believe that most people are on the up and up.

[Deleted]

Lonewolf . . . um, I don't own a cell phone.  Actually, I do, but it's usually not charged.  Or if it's charged, it's because it's still on the charger.  It's an age thing although plenty of women my age love their Iphones more than life itself.  But when I was growing up, the phone was in the hall.  When I was in college, that phone in the hall was a pay phone.

Back in the Dark Ages (pre-cell phones), someone knocked on our door at 3:30 in the morning.  We lived high on a hill in the woods in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors for at least a few miles in any direction.  Talk about a difficult decision to open the door!  But we did.  The guy had wrecked his car and crawled through the woods (totally not realizing we had a driveway!)

Now I don't open the door to anyone I don't know or am not expecting.  We just ignore the doorbell. 

[Shooby]

 We are a different generation.  A few years ago, someone was knocking on my door, probably to sell or solicit something.  My mom was visiting.  And, she was absolutely mortified that i didn't answer the door.  I told her i didn't know that person and wasn't interested.  And, same with the phone, the phone was ringing and i didn't answer it and said the answering machine would get it.  She was a bit miffed at me, lol.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I was raised very strictly to be polite, kind and helpful.  Sometimes, that's not a good thing.  It's very difficult for me to turn someone away who may be in need of assistance.  But no way would I open my door to a stranger.  I probably would have told him, through the locked door, that I had called the police and they were on their way to offer any assistance he might need.  And, of course, I would make the call just in case he's legitimately in trouble.  I don't want anyone freezing to death on my porch.

[Deleted]

In wrongside's neighborhood I'd call the cops. In mine if husband is home, he would let them use the cell I'm guessing.

[Deleted]

Lets just say I would not want to arrive between midnight and daybreak

[servant_of_dog]

5:30 am on a Sunday is pretty quiet in my neighborhood.  We're an easy half-mile from any main road, but really, even gas stations aren't staffed until 6am, so it's possible that this guy broke down on his way to work, but it wouldn't make sense for him to wander away from businesses and the bus lines into a very residential neighborhood.  In short sleeves.
Who knows.  I'm guessing that he lives in the neighborhood, and either drinking/drugs or mental illness is involved, which is why I kind of feel bad about not at least calling 911. 

Wrongsideof30 - your story gives me the shivers.  And I have to ask...why was the guy looking for gloves?  That's pretty damn random.  I'm glad you all are safe!

ETA:  Thanks Lone, you're right that it was still pitch dark, and it was literally the first thing I saw...someone entering my yard and approaching my door.

[Shooby]

Feb 24, 2013 11:25:14 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

So, many of you, when on the road, don't have charged cell phones? I was just assuming you all did.
I won't go anywhere without mine and it's always fully charged. But of course, I'm extremely anal.
I think that it was the time of day, assuming it was still dark, that upset Servant.

   Well, i am disorganized so half the time i either can't find my phone or i forget it!!  lol

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

I would either offer to make a call for them or call the police.  I don't think I would let them in, depending on the neighborhood.  I my current neighborhood, I tend to be more trusting though.  I live in a residential neighborhood that is fairly busy (we are next to a university).  Because there are always people around, I tend to trust people more than I should.    Last week, there was a stranger in front of our home for at least 20 minutes.  I ended up letting him use my cell phone to call for a ride (He said he was waiting for a ride home from his mom and she had his cell phone).  He didn't ask but I offered because I had seen him out there for so long.  Probably not very smart..

[servant_of_dog]

Right there with you on the "Yay he probably lives close by!"  Your DH sounds wonderful!  I can picture him flooring it during your call.
I don't like feeling scared by another human's need for help.  I would like to think that when asked for help, I would provide it.  But I didn't.  I didn't even call someone else who could help.  So I guess I know that about myself now.

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2013 11:50:56 GMT -5 servant_of_dog said:

Right there with you on the "Yay he probably lives close by!"  Your DH sounds wonderful!  I can picture him flooring it during your call.
I don't like feeling scared by another human's need for help.  I would like to think that when asked for help, I would provide it.  But I didn't.  I didn't even call someone else who could help.  So I guess I know that about myself now.

I also do not have fear of helping or being helped by other people.  Even though I live in the boonies, I don't typically carry my cell phone if I leave the house.  Heck, in remote areas it won't even work.  I have broken down and the FIRST car always stops in my area.  And, even though I am a single female, I will stop for other people.  I think we all watch way too much news and are convinced everyone is an axe murderer.  I figure if I come across the person who is, well then it must have been my time to leave the earth.  I refuse to live in fear of other people.

[servant_of_dog]

Feb 24, 2013 11:42:14 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

Maybe I missed it, but how was he dressed? I know you said short sleeves, but was he dressed well or maybe like he as homeless?
Not that it really matters, just curious.

From what I could see, he looked normal enough.  Our porch light wasn't on, so I couldn't see much.  Ack.  I just noticed that he closed the gate very politely when he left our yard.  I'm such a schmuck.

[raeoflyte]

I wouldn't have answered either.

Yesterday afternoon a lady wouldn't stop knocking on our door. I finally answered it and she said her peacock was in our backyard... I thought it must be a language barrier. But lo and behold there was a female peacock in the dog run. Her and 2 men came in to get the bird but she flew off onto someone else's roof.

That was almost as weird as the day that I found an elderly Asian man who didn't speak a word of English picking the weeds that were trying to take over our front yard.

[midjd]

I don't like feeling scared by another human's need for help.  I would like to think that when asked for help, I would provide it.  But I didn't.  I didn't even call someone else who could help.  So I guess I know that about myself now.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Having someone show up at your door in the dark is a scary experience.

We live in a very rural area and have a 200-yard gravel driveway. If our friends/family are coming over, they will give us some notice - so if the doorbell rings and I'm not expecting anyone (or a package), I won't answer the door. If this happened at night, DH would probably grab the shotgun to investigate.

Outside my home, I have no problem providing help. A month or so ago I used my cell phone light to help two teenagers change a tire. They were really sweet kids and it was nice to be able to help them. I suppose they could've been serial killers, but I never thought about it.

But having someone show up on my doorstep would make me very nervous.

[weltschmerz]

Feb 24, 2013 11:25:14 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

So, many of you, when on the road, don't have charged cell phones? I was just assuming you all did.
I won't go anywhere without mine and it's always fully charged. But of course, I'm extremely anal.
I think that it was the time of day, assuming it was still dark, that upset Servant.

I don't. I have a cellphone, but don't remember the last time I used it. I got it for emergencies up in the country because there's no land line and I may need an ambulance or fire truck.
I usually open doors to strangers. If someone wants to get in, they'll get in, because I rarely lock my door.
Someone helped me recently. They helped me a LOT and refused to accept any money. They just asked me to "pay it forward". I usually do whatever I can to help folks out.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Feb 24, 2013 11:25:14 GMT -5 @lonewolf said:

So, many of you, when on the road, don't have charged cell phones? I was just assuming you all did.
I won't go anywhere without mine and it's always fully charged. But of course, I'm extremely anal.
I think that it was the time of day, assuming it was still dark, that upset Servant.

I have been known to walk off from my cell phone left on the charger.

Last week, I went to pick up TD from work after hours and forgot my cell phone.  Fortunately, the sandwich shop next door was still open and they allowed me to use their phone to make a call to his phone, to let him know I was downstairs (the building was locked).

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

It's sad how scary our society has gotten about opening doors.  I don't know if it has become more violent or we are just more aware of it through more reporting/media coverage.

I have knocked on stranger's doors to help them out and was glad when they opened the door.  The first time was a neighbor I didn't know and I was knocking to let him know that the city was starting street cleaning.  What I thought was his car was parked on the street and he would have gotten an $80 ticket.  Luckily, he opened the door to talk to me (I looked crazy as I had just gotten out of bed and had just gone outside to move my car... I had PJs and funky hair going on).  The other was when I was with my cousin and her rear neighbor's fireplace was throwing sparks/ash on the roof of the house.  She didn't know the neighbor but we went by to let him know so his house wouldn't burn down.  He opened the door to us strangers and ended up looking t the roof/chimney.  He had no idea it was doing that and stopped the fire so the house wouldn't burn down. 

[jinksd1]

Actually, just a few weeks ago, someone knocked on our door in the middle of the night.  It was a Saturday, so DH and I were still up.  That's probably why she came to our door...the only house with lights on.  It was cold, and she wasn't wearing a coat, but was dressed up like she had been to a bar or party or something.  She was sobbing and seemed drunk. 

We didn't open the door to her, but we did ask if she wanted us to call the police for her (she did).  The police came and helped her off our porch and into their car.  I figured she had probably been out with her boyfriend and got into a fight with him and walked off or got kicked out of her car, but who knows. 

If she would have asked us to call someone other than the police, I would have.

[Deleted]

When I was in my late teens my car quit on me on a busy street in a residential area. I knocked on a door to use the phone, a lady answered and told me to go knock on the man's door across the street. If he didn't answer, I was to come back. I knocked on the door she directed me to and nobody answered. She was watching lol. I didn't go all the way back to her door and asked her if she could just sit a phone on the porch so I could use it. I thought she might feel safer if I stood far enough away that she wasn't in arm's reach. She invited me in, gave me a phone to use, offered me a Coke, and offered to let me stay inside while I waited on my cousin to get there.

I wasn't offended by her caution. I do think it's sad that we're often afraid to try to help strangers. I don't know if I'd answer my door at 5:30am. If I did, I wouldn't be alone.

[seriousthistime]

 DS had someone come to his door in the middle of the night, knock like hell demanding to be let in, and remove the screen and try to get in a window even when told to leave and that the police had been called. DS's Lab, a marshmallow of a dog, was going wild at the door and window trying to get the guy.  The police arrived 30 seconds later and it was a guy who closed down the bars and walked down the wrong street to a house that looked like the one he'd rented a week earlier.  The dog got a nod and a "good job" from the policeman, who asked if DS wanted to press charges for the screen.  He didn't.  The police drove the drunk guy home. All was well.

This is the reason I have a dog.  My Lab is a marshmallow too, loves anyone who comes in the door, but if she was alarmed because I was alarmed, a bad guy would be wise to leave.

Still, I can envision that someone COULD really need to use a phone.  Maybe the guy's GF kicked him out without his jacket, car keys, or cell phone.  But that's a good reason for you to go to the door AFTER having called 911.  If he didn't need to use the phone, he still had a chance to get out of there.  If he really did need help, the police would be responding quickly and no one would get in trouble for having made a needless 911 call.  

[simser]

I know someone who was robbed with that exact same situation although it wasn't at 5:30 am. (They actually did the "I need a phone" thing 2x and only took stuff the second time to see who would be an easy mark).

On the other hand I have knocked on my neighbors door at 5:45 one morning and I had never met her. I was asking if she meant to have no wheels on her car... And if she wanted a ride to work (parking sticker on car was a high school on my way to work, so I offered if she needed it).

[gusitarenker]

I wouldn't have let him in, but I would have offered to make a call for him or called the police.

Not quite the same situation, but a couple months ago, I managed to lock my keys and my 2 year old DS in the car. DS was strapped in his carseat, and of course, my cell phone was in the stupid car, locked up as well. I approached two different people, told them what happened, that I had locked my child and my keys in my car, and asked if I could borrow their cell phone to call my husband, and both told me no. The first person said she didn't have time, and the second said her phone was almost dead. You could literally see my car three feet away with my kid locked and strapped inside. Thank goodness for the kind third person I approached. I am definitely a bit more sensitive about things like that after that experience.

[Peace Of Mind]

I have a leaded glass door and security cameras so I would just talk to them through the door and make a call for them if that's what they wanted.  I would not have opened the door unless I knew the person or I could see that they were in an awful situation like the following story:

Years ago I worked with an older woman who told me that a woman was madly banging on their door and asking for help late one night.  She was nude and was the victim of rape.  I would definitely help somebody in that situation and let them in my home and help them.  That story always haunted me so I'd make sure the person was not hurt or in that kind of distress (if at all possible) and assist as needed. 

[whoami]

We have an intercom system that I would use to talk to someone beating on the door.  We also have a dog that sounds like she will rips your arms off if you come near her house or her pack.  I assume anyone looking for trouble would be dissuaded by her noise alone.  I would never open the door at 5 in the morning.  I dont even open the door at 5 in the afternoon unless I know its girl scouts or something and only if I wanted to buy the cookies.  We live in a safe quiet neighborhood.

I would call the police if someone wanted me to.  I would also and have let people use my phone if they need to call someone because they are in trouble.

[kent]

Feb 25, 2013 0:47:10 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Years ago I worked with an older woman who told me that a woman was madly banging on their door and asking for help late one night.  She was nude and was the victim of rape.  I would definitely help somebody in that situation and let them in my home and help them.  That story always haunted me so I'd make sure the person was not hurt or in that kind of distress (if at all possible) and assist as needed. 

I think a nude woman knocking on our door late one night would be enough for me to let her in.  Someone intent on doing harm is HIGHLY unlikely to show up nude (even if an accomplice was lurking in the background).

That said, I'd let her in but have my wife call 911 prior to allowing entrance.  The door would be locked as soon as she entered and the German Shepherd would be "on alert."  I would also be armed in the event her "assailant" was close on her heels.

I wold never forgive myself for turning her away - even if it turned out there were no assailant and she was just a "disturbed" woman running the streets. 

[tloonya]

I would invite him in, warm up a pot of tea and let him tell me 'all about it'