Can you handle having money?

[susanb]

I have noticed lately that a lot of people I know can't handle having money. As soon as they get a certain amount of it, they immediately have to spend it. Compulsively.

I think in some cases this is because they feel like they can't handle or don't deserve to have a certain amount of money. For me, there have been times in my life where, whenever I reached a certain $ threshold, I would spend for similar reasons. It took me a couple of years to recognize this and break through a NW threshold. I am annoyed with myself a little now because I wasted a couple of years that could have been very profitable. Sigh.

Have you had similar experiences? Is there a dollar amount that you can't handle/couldn't handle?

[Sum Dum Gai]

Have you had similar experiences? Is there a dollar amount that you can't handle/couldn't handle?

Not that I've noticed so far, but I still don't have much money. Ask me again if I ever get rich.

[CarolinaKat]

I don't do well having cash on my person.... cash goes *poof*

I do much better making planned purchases on a CC, it's all tracked and accounted for and I have the money in the bank to pay it of at cycle end. If i absolutely need cash, I'll pull it out for that specific purpose and only the amount needed... spare cash trickles away...

[Deleted]

Yes, everyone in my family but for them it is for different reasons : more money is always a reason to celebrate, upgrade, spend etc.
You know it is tax return time when you see folks buying a new car, new TV, new furniture, etc.

When folks live paycheck to paycheck, once they get a windfall the first reaction is to get things they have been pushing back or been unable to purchase.

[milee]

Unfortunately, DH is like that. I don't think it's conscious, but if he notices we've accumulated a lot of cash in the main account, he goes out and buys a big ticket item.

It feels emotionally dishonest, but to try to minimize that, I spread cash in several different bank accounts - all have both our names on them and he is "aware" of all of them, it's NOT an attempt to hide or siphon funds - so it doesn't look like quite as big an available hunk.

Recently, though, I've had quite a bit parked in ING because I'm starting to look at buying investment real estate and he took at look at the balance. Less than 24 hours later, he was talking about buying a plane. Sigh.

[thyme4change]

Considering I have a $7,500 credit card bill this MONTH - I would say that I must love to spend, spend, spend.

[Peace Of Mind]

When I was much younger I was like that. As I got older I realized the importance of extra money put aside. Now I hate, hate, hate parting with money! DH and I think we want something and are saving for it - and then a windfall comes in and we don't get what we thought we wanted. I blame you guys!

[movingforward]

"When folks live paycheck to paycheck, once they get a windfall the first reaction is to get things they have been pushing back or been unable to purchase."

This is what I notice as well. I actually heard a low-income person who received a holiday bonus say "I never have any extra money throughout the year to purchase items I want and not need so when I get a little money I am going to spend it on myself."

[midjd]

I have noticed lately that a lot of people I know can't handle having money. As soon as they get a certain amount of it, they immediately have to spend it. Compulsively.

I am this way with cash. Today I went to the ATM - I needed $70 but took out $80. Then I told myself I needed to break the $20 before I went to practice this evening.

So on the way back I stopped at Au Bon Pain and got some soup. Nevermind that I had a perfectly good lunch back at the office. If I'd had a free hand, I probably would've gone to Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte, too

If I'd just had CCs, I would have known that the $5 transaction would show up on Mint later, so I would've resisted.

For this reason, I try to avoid getting cash until the day I need it... otherwise I'll have to make a return trip (or two) to the ATM

I do this to some extent with our savings accounts... I keep the bulk of our savings in an online account that takes 2-3 days to transfer. Less frivolous spending that way.

[movingforward]

"I am annoyed with myself a little now because I wasted a couple of years that could have been very profitable. Sigh."

I didn't save a dime throughout my 20's. I didn't make much money but could have managed to save a little had I tried. I should have at least been contributing to my retirement. Water under the bridge now though... I have a different mindset nowadays.

[nogooddeed]

Mid: I took care of that pumpkin spice latte for you. It was delicious!

[Deleted]

When I have a change in finances for the better (raise or windfall), I put myself in financial time out, usually for about a month. I am not allowed to do anything with the money until I have gone through the options, needs/wants, and have a plan (short term for windfalls, long term for raises). I will even move the extra money into a "holding" savings account to keep it out of sight until I have made a decision. This keeps the itchy spending urge from taking over.

[chiver78]

in the past, I would get quarterly "windfalls" as our company stock purchase plan paid out next-day sale funds. I would allow myself a small "treat" - whatever I wanted around/under $50 - and then put the rest toward paying down debt. it would be anywhere from $3-5k at a time, so the treat didn't take away too much.

now, I find myself not really wanting anything that isn't in the budget and already planned for. I paid down a lot of the debt that I had when I found my way to these boards, and I've been hovering around $18k of remaining debt (all at <2% interest) while I hoard cash and wait out the real estate market. right now, my mindset is "is that trinket worth having to wait longer to sell the house?"

[Deleted]

Add me to the group that can't have cash.
I also tend to spend all of my discretionary money. If I leave it unattended in my checking account, I'm going to buy something with it.

But, I think I do okay with saving and investing.

[muttleynfelix]

Well it certainly feels that way to me right now that we can't handle having money. It isn't true, but between my DH's medical stuff ($2k+ OOP and dental stuff another ~$2k) and then we went and had Christmas early, the $7k my parents gave us has wittled down to $2k so quickly it makes me sick. That said, the medical stuff and the dental stuff would have happened either way. If my parents hadn't given us money, I would have been stressed the rest of the year trying to figure out how to not drain our savings wtih a baby on the way, but still get it paid off this year. I guess it makes up for last year when my parents gave us $5k and we put it in savings and did not touch it.

I do struggle with getting large unexpected amounts of money (or small). If I can put it all in savings great, but it seems like lately all I do is send it medical bills that we are paying on. Sigh. Maybe I should just off my DH in a way that no one suspects me and then I can collect the insurance money and not have a all these medical bills to pay.

(I am kidding, I would be an absolute wreck without my DH in my life).

[Abby Normal]

I could handle having a lot more money.

[Waffle]

"Is there a dollar amount that you can't handle/couldn't handle?"

Send me a million and I will get back to you on this. ;D

Seriously, I used to be really bad about spending money. I recall sitting at the lunch table at work at one time when several of my coworkers were talking about how none of them had a 3 month emergency fund. I had one - but didn't tell them, but less than a year later it was all gone and I didn't have any true emergencies.

I still have my little spending weaknesses - but nothing on a large scale.

[shanendoah]

Cash is already out of the account, and already accounted for, so it doesn't really matter what I spend it on. Right?
Yeah, no cash for me. It disappears and I can't even tell you what I got for it.

As for windfalls, or large sums sitting in accounts, that's actually a struggle I'm dealing with right now. Due to us actually being on solid financial footing and saving like we should have been for years, this year we had the financial windfall from the MIL's passing. We ended up with over 3x what we were expecting in life insurance money. It wasn't life changing money, but still, more than we have ever had sitting around at one time before.
We did spend some on the new (used) car, but we still have more sitting around than seems reasonable.
What is helping us not just spend it irrationally (DH wants a hot tub, I want a European vacation) is that we're in the adoption process and we don't know if we'll adopt via foster care (inexpensive) or do a private adoption (expensive), so we have a use for the money, even if it's not immidiate.
The other thing I do is use my spreadsheets and run scenarios- things like paying off (or nearly paying off) student loans or making a big payment on the mortgage. And then what would that look like in a few years if we wanted to move- how would that effect what we could have for a down payment on a new house, etc.
Even if we never act on those scenarios, I at least get to play them out, and that helps keep me on the path we've actually decided to be on.

[kittensaver]

Sept 19, 2012 15:15:50 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

I could handle having a lot more money.

I'm with you, agilemom. I could DEFINITELY handle having a lot of money ;D

[8 Bit WWBG]

If my payoff schedule stays on track, then in another year or so, a lot of money that is currently not available will become available. I will certainly be increasing retirement and savings, but I'm not sure what will happen to the rest. I'm going to try and save as much as I can, but there are some things I'm going to want, and its going to be tough to resist them.

[zibazinski]

I hope so! I intend to have it someday!

[Formerly SK]

I can handle having money, but I cannot handle having sweets in the house. I don't know which lack of self-control worse.

[Deleted]

I'm pretty tight with money, including windfalls. As I type this, there are 3 checks in the mail on their way to me from my previous employer's 401(k) plan. Two, a Roth and a traditional IRA rollover, are made out to Fidelity for my account. The 3rd, from my after-tax contributions, is for $43K and will be made out to me. It's going straight to Fidelity, too. I'm pretty focused on retirement goals so I have no temptation whatsoever top blow it on a new car.

I did, however, take some of the money from unused vacation pay from the old job and order a jacket and pants from the tailor. To me, that was found money and it was OK to spend some of it on myself.

[resolution]

I can't handle having too much in the savings account. I do fine with cash. Anything over $10k in savings and I start spending, so I try to get it transferred out into something more inaccessible. I didn't do too well this week and now we are going on a weekend trip.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Sept 19, 2012 16:09:38 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Sept 19, 2012 15:15:50 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

I could handle having a lot more money.

I'm with you, agilemom. I could DEFINITELY handle having a lot of money ;D

Ummm, yeah, I'm going to need some practice. How about I get several large checks spread out over 3 months or so and we'll see how it goes.

[tallguy]

Can you handle having money?

Easily. I have far more available than I've ever had before and I still spend damn near nothin'. ;D

Is there a dollar amount that you can't handle/couldn't handle?

No. Discipline is not my problem.

[swamp]

I'm fine with money. Don't leave me alone with sugar.

[Deleted]

I would have to say that I am the other side of the coin on this issue from some of the previous posters. When I was young I didn't have any money. I lived paycheck to paycheck and didn't have any debt. I don't know why but I just spent what I made and went from there. Then I got married, started a family, made some money, bought houses, bought cars and still only spent what I made. The only debt I've ever had was a house mortgage and car loans. We always paid off any credit card every month; no questions asked. So again it was; if we didn't have the money we didn't buy it. Luckily I have been somewhat successful so we never did spend more than what we took in. Now even though our expenses are at an all time high we still don't spend what we take in. I think I was lucky that my income exceeded my lifestyle.
So is there an amount of money that I couldn't handle? I still don't know.
But like a couple of previous posters...don't get between me and sweets!

[jaya3300]

Sept 19, 2012 15:15:50 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

I could handle having a lot more money.

[Apple]

I've never reached that point myself. I like to see a large balance on an account and don't like to see it decrease at all (even if it is planned, like a vacation I've saved for). When I do use it, I try to build it back up as fast as I can. I pretty much know exactly how I'd handle it all if I had a lot.