What is your Ms Manners Pet Peeve

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2012 8:18:07 GMT -5 alabamagal said:

I actually have a bigger phone pet peeve. We used to get a lot of wrong numbers on our home phone (because our phone has double digits - this was before the days of cell phone dialing). When I would answer, the caller would say "Who's this?" to which I would reply "Who are you?" I don't hink I ever got an answer, and the call was never from anyone calling us. My DH told me I was being rude, but I told him I was only responding to someone who was being rude.

Oh I HATE when people that make the call start interrogating me! There is the version where they demand to know who I am. Or another favourite, when I tell them the person they want to talk to isn't available they ask where they are. Just how is that any of your business? If I didn't offer the information I am not going to tell you!

[weltschmerz]

Sept 16, 2012 22:51:34 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

Hypocrisy. For example, I know a couple who are rabid Democrats who fully and verbally argue for all govt spending...but then also hide a significant portion of their income from the IRS.

Walk the talk, people.

:::cough:::Mitt Romney:::cough:::

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I hate it when I tell people they have hte wrong number and they proceed to call me back and then argue with me about it being the wrong number.

Punching the numbers harder does not mean you suddenly turned my number into the correct one.

People who call at all hours. I was in bed once and got a call at midnight on the landline. I thought for anyone to be calling that late it must be an emergency so I ran to pick up the phone. Imagine my surprise when I hear "Hello Miss DQ would you be interested in consolidating your student loan with us?"

Poor guy didn't know what hit him.

[jaya3300]

Sept 16, 2012 22:51:34 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

Hypocrisy. For example, I know a couple who are rabid Democrats who fully and verbally argue for all govt spending...but then also hide a significant portion of their income from the IRS.

Walk the talk, people.

And I've heard of Republicans and Republican politicans who were anti government programs (but had no problems with seeking out and benefiting from them). So the hypocrisy when it comes to $$$ have no political boundaries

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I love a fedora on a man, but indoors? Never! I remember my mom teaching me that when I was a little girl. She'd really flip out if a man came to the dinner table in a hat.":::...

I thought that you remove your hat at the same point you'd remove your coat. So I would wear it until I get to my desk. Dinner though, not unless I got a bad haircut, or I was playing a role.

...:::"And the kicker is when you slam on the breaks to avoid hitting them, they give you a dirty look like it's your fault.":::...

Yeah, I got flicked off and cursed at by teenagers who I had to stop for because they ran across an intersection with no light. The kicker is that if I'd hit them, I'd have been 100% responsible and liable.

...:::"Not receiving a thank you note for a wedding or baby gift.":::...

Some people still quote the "you have 6 months to a year" as if it were fact. 3 is the absolute maximum.

[savecents]

-- Honeymoon registries for weddings, or other not-subtle ways to say "Just give me cash please."

-- guests who open the medicine cabinet in your house and just help themselves.... I leave travel-sized toiletries and basic first aid stuff out in a bowl for guests specifically, but I still have a guest who opened my medicine cabinet rooting around for floss....

[Nazgul Girl]

We just got back from a 4-day trip to our beautiful North country, and I was amazed by the number of waitstaff and sales people who wanted to seriously quiz us about where we were from, why we came into their store or sat at their table, how long we were going to stay, and "get our stories." I totally realize that this initially stems from just being polite, but we stopped into an art gallery and a rock shop, and Good Lord, the clinginess of the staff/owner at both joints was just suffocating. My DH is almost always polite and doesn't like to say "no" to people unless they're being mean, so I had to break in and say, " We have to get going " after 15-20 mins had passed.

Waitresses were so "friendly" that I felt that we should just pull out a chair and and buy them lunch ! It gets cloying.

Don't people ever stop and think that maybe we just are passing through and just want to have some fun without all of their interjections ? It won't make me buy something from you if you annoy the piss out of me.....

[Firebird]

Sept 15, 2012 19:00:07 GMT -5 susanb said:

Yup. I did that.

Her: "Hi, is John there?"

Me: "May I ask who is calling?"

Her: "Jane"

Me: "Hi Jane, what company are you with?"

Her: "X Company" (We don't do business with this company, so now I am sure it is a sales call).

Me: "John has a lot going today. May I ask what this is regarding?"

Her: "It is personal"

So, I told John that Jane was on the phone and asked if he wanted to take it. He told me Jane was his wife.

Why wouldn't she just tell you that? Silly lady.

[Nazgul Girl]

Sept 17, 2012 11:17:24 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I hate it when I tell people they have hte wrong number and they proceed to call me back and then argue with me about it being the wrong number.

Punching the numbers harder does not mean you suddenly turned my number into the correct one.

People who call at all hours. I was in bed once and got a call at midnight on the landline. I thought for anyone to be calling that late it must be an emergency so I ran to pick up the phone. Imagine my surprise when I hear "Hello Miss DQ would you be interested in consolidating your student loan with us?"

Poor guy didn't know what hit him.

Totally agree with the foregoing. If you call my house every day, ( "800 service " ) or stop by once a week to see if we want new windows or siding ( nope, same as last week ), I will buy NOTHING from you, EVER. El Duh.

We just put up a no soliciting sign today.

[Firebird]

I do not like people dropping in on me unannounced. I don't do that to anyone and I don't want them doing it to me. I live alone and I don't answer the door if I don't know someone is coming. The way my house is set up, you can't tell if I am in the house from the drive way.



I HATE unannounced visits. I'm actually a bit worried about this because a lot of people mentioned this weekend that they "plan to swing by" and see Babybird once she's born. I hope they remember to call first... because otherwise

I honestly don't know how I'll deal with it if we have people randomly dropping by all the time. I don't deal with that well at the best of times, and I'm sure it will be much worse with a newborn infant.

[Abby Normal]

"Hi, is John there?" isn't the way you call an office.

I have no problem with this. But I think it depends on where you are calling. At our office, we only screen for exec staff. But we have caller ID so it's a bit easier to tell who is calling. But most of our callers just ask for the person they need- with no greeting. It doesn't bother us in the least.

If I'm calling someplace B 2 B, I only identify myself if I don't know who I need to speak with. If I know who I want, I just ask to speak with them. And I rarely get grilled.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You hand them Babybird right after she poops or pukes and say "Could you clean this up for me, I really need to take a nap, thanks". Watch how fast they run.

No seriously anyone that is planning to just show up should not expected to be entertained or have a visit. They want to randomly show up, they can be put to good use so you can get a break.

[Formerly SK]

Sept 17, 2012 11:35:13 GMT -5 jaya3300 said:

Sept 16, 2012 22:51:34 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

Hypocrisy. For example, I know a couple who are rabid Democrats who fully and verbally argue for all govt spending...but then also hide a significant portion of their income from the IRS.

Walk the talk, people.

And I've heard of Republicans and Republican politicans who were anti government programs (but had no problems with seeking out and benefiting from them). So the hypocrisy when it comes to $$$ have no political boundaries

Oh absolutely...I didn't mean to pick on Democrats. I also have some hard core Republican friends who HATE all govt spending with a passion. At the same time, their adult DD and 3 grandchildren are all on WIC and govt health insurance and my friends complain that there isn't more help for them.

[Deleted]

We told everyone to come over after I came home from the hospital. They met DD and stayed for a couple of hours. After that, the only one who would come over unannounced was MIL.

[susanb]

Sept 17, 2012 12:40:35 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

"Hi, is John there?" isn't the way you call an office.

I have no problem with this. But I think it depends on where you are calling. At our office, we only screen for exec staff. But we have caller ID so it's a bit easier to tell who is calling. But most of our callers just ask for the person they need- with no greeting. It doesn't bother us in the least.

If I'm calling someplace B 2 B, I only identify myself if I don't know who I need to speak with. If I know who I want, I just ask to speak with them. And I rarely get grilled.

John is executive staff. He is our CTO. Pretty sure his wife knows that.

[Firebird]

Not receiving a thank you note for a wedding or baby gift. I took the time to select and mail/deliver something I thought you'd like - it doesn't take that long to write a thank you note and drop it in the mail.

Honestly, I am really careful about thank you notes and try to get them out in as timely a manner as possible because I know it's offensive to some people not to get them. But I personally don't care if I ever get thank you notes or not, assuming I was thanked nicely at the time. Many of my friends feel the same way - it would be nice to know in advance who actually wants a card and will feel "wronged" if they don't get one, and who will just glance at it and toss it and doesn't care if you bother

[susanb]

Sept 17, 2012 12:39:33 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I do not like people dropping in on me unannounced. I don't do that to anyone and I don't want them doing it to me. I live alone and I don't answer the door if I don't know someone is coming. The way my house is set up, you can't tell if I am in the house from the drive way.



I HATE unannounced visits. I'm actually a bit worried about this because a lot of people mentioned this weekend that they "plan to swing by" and see Babybird once she's born. I hope they remember to call first... because otherwise

I honestly don't know how I'll deal with it if we have people randomly dropping by all the time. I don't deal with that well at the best of times, and I'm sure it will be much worse with a newborn infant.

That wouldn't be okay with me either. I think I would just not answer the door.

[Formerly SK]

Sept 17, 2012 12:48:07 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Not receiving a thank you note for a wedding or baby gift. I took the time to select and mail/deliver something I thought you'd like - it doesn't take that long to write a thank you note and drop it in the mail.

Honestly, I am really careful about thank you notes and try to get them out in as timely a manner as possible because I know it's offensive to some people not to get them. But I personally don't care if I ever get thank you notes or not, assuming I was thanked nicely at the time. Many of my friends feel the same way - it would be nice to know in advance who actually wants a card and will feel "wronged" if they don't get one, and who will just glance at it and toss it and doesn't care if you bother

I agree. I only care about getting a thank you if I mailed the present and want confirmation they got it. But if I gave it to them in person, nope I don't want a thank you card. I usually tell people to NOT send me a thank you...especially for baby showers. Because the last thing a 9mo pregnant woman needs to be doing is writing me a thank you.

[Firebird]

I don't mind writing the notes but sending them is turning into this giant headache since I don't have ANYONE'S address. Oh well. It really is something I wouldn't skip just because I know it's impolite.

[Tennesseer]

Firebird-do you have a social media account (Facebook, etc.)? As for unannounced visitors after you give birth, why not post something ahead of time as they won't be welcomed without calling first. The ringing doorbell could be a pain in the ass for your whole immediate family.

I assume you have already done this but you should tell your family and friends to call first if they wish to visit. Your spouse should tell his family and friends the same thing too.

Also put up a sign outside your front door stating announced visitors not welcomed at this time and that means family and friends too.

Sounds harsh but y'all need your rest the first few weeks.

[greenstone]

Two pet peeves that come to mind that have to do with my dislike of phones.

The first is using an antiquated notion of what is "proper" such as considering it gauche to email an RSVP so only giving out a phone number (calling to RSVP was gauche at one time too). This is my personal pet peeve because I am NOT a phone person and I did not know the women hosting a recent shower. I despise having to call people I do not know, I get very tense because it feels so awkward and uncomfortable. I communicate to people much better face-to-face. Even at work, I will only call if email or speaking directly to someone is not an option which is rarely the case. It was doubly annoying because after I called to RSVP-ed, my friend came to me and asked if I was coming to her shower because the hostesses said they hadn't heard from me. What's the point in making people call if you don't remember or have a record of the fact they called? Both women (I later learned)have email and are tech savvy, so wasn't it that they are not up-to-date with new technology.


The second is someone answering their cell phone only to tell you that they're in the middle of something and can't talk instead of letting it go to voice mail. I wasn't calling for proof that you're still alive. It comes across as "I answered in case it was someone important, but it's just you. Sorry not available." Along with its ugly twin of talking to someone and they answer their cellphone while you're in mid-sentence.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"guests who open the medicine cabinet in your house and just help themselves...":::...

Someone once told me that before a party, the fill the medicine cabinet with marbles. If an unsuspecting guest opens it up, they come crashing out.

[happyhoix]

Speaking of cell phone rules, there is one store I go to (Fresh market) where there always seems to be a horde of people standing in front of the meat counter on Saturday mornings listing every single item on display to their spouse. Loudly. Then debating the merits of the rib eyes vs the t bone steaks. These almost always seem to be the male customers.

Since the meat counter takes people in order of when they showed up, I usually end up getting behind several of these guys who can't decide what they want to buy because they haven't finished negotiations with their wife yet, but they don't want to step out of line loose their place (or they're so frickin' clueless they don't see the long line of people waiting for them to shit or get off the pot).

Send someone to the store who is qualified to make food purchases on his own, please.

[susanb]

Holy hell Happy, that would drive me up the wall.

[Deleted]

How about standing in line to buy your groceries....in front of you is an old woman. She stands there politely, the cashier then tells her the total amount due AND THEN opens her "pocketbook" fumbles for her billfold and checkbook, then ever so slowly and carefully begins to write the damn check. Why the bloody hell doesn't she do that sooner. Did she think she wasn't going to be expected to pay for them??? Then, to add insult to the situation, she refuses to move away until said checkbook is carefully replaced back into her billfold and placed securely back into her old "pocketbook".

[kgb18]

I have so many pet peeves when it comes to manners, I could write a book. But a few of mine:

1) When you let someone out into traffic and they don't give you what I call "the courtesy wave."

2) People in the express line at the store with way too many items. Or the people who don't have their checks ready to go. Really I just hate the grocery stores. I think grocery stores are filled with the rudest people on the planet.

3) People who throw their cigarette butts on the ground, particularly if they're still burning and emitting smoke.

4) I really hate when you're with a group of people and the person you're with doesn't introduce you to the people they know and you don't. Sorry guys, but men seem to be worse at this than women. DH and I went to a wedding last month. I knew all of his coworkers, but none of the girlfriends/wives knew each other. Do you think one of them introduced any of us? Nope. I started introducing myself.

[midjd]

I really hate when you're with a group of people and the person you're with doesn't introduce you to the people they know and you don't.

I used to get SO mad at DH at his family things because he would never introduce me... a full on "you're ashamed of me!" teary fight once... until he admitted that he had no clue who half the people there were or how they were related to him

[swamp]

Sept 17, 2012 15:52:42 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

...:::"guests who open the medicine cabinet in your house and just help themselves...":::...

Someone once told me that before a party, the fill the medicine cabinet with marbles. If an unsuspecting guest opens it up, they come crashing out.

How do you get the marbles in?