Parents of school age kids

[swasat]

How are you coping now that the school is over or almost over?

DS just finished 1st grade, school got over on Wednesday. I am already getting "I am sooooooo bored", "can you play something with me?", "What should I do?", "Why is no-one playing outside?"

We have weekend activities planned for the whole family. We are also going on two weekly vacations this summer. We do some activities with them during weekday evenings. But passing the days are a problem. I am working from home the entire summer. So obviously i have work to do. Even if I am off I can't keep him busy the entire day. He has lots of friends in the neighborhood, but not everyone is available to play all the time.

So any ideas? What do other parents here do?

I don't want him playing too many video games or watching too much TV. We allow 1 hour of screen time every day. I also want him to learn to entertain himself without constantly looking for company.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Any ideas would be appreciated.

You should have had another one about 12-18 months after the first one. Then you can make them play with each other and leave you alone. That ship has already sailed though.

Look for cheap summer activities through your county rec department. Swim lessons, sports, clubs, etc. Day camps are relatively decently priced, and fill a whole week or two here and there throughout the summer. Find age appropriate projects the kid can work on, although he's a little young for unsupervised crafts yet. Does he have a library card, and a regular weekly trip to get books? In our house we allow more than 1 hour of screen time in the summer, so you could consider loosening that one a bit outside the school year. Especially if his neighborhood friends aren't available to play and you have to work.

[whoisjohngalt]

I don't have school-age kids, can I make a suggestion anyway?

[Abby Normal]

We'll I work most of the summer so my situation is a little different. But we have an awesome YMCA program in our area. Some people, like me, use it all day during the summer, other use it part time.

They take the kids on field trips and swim nearly every day. Those who are doing it part time, do it because it breaks up the monotony of summer. There isn't much else to do around here and they get tired of going to the park.

As for time at home- mine is a lego maniac and will spend HOURS with them daily.

I also did a summer reading program two summers ago (after 2nd grade). He had to write down what time he started reading and how long he read. I told him if he could read his way down to disneyland and back, before the end of summer- we would go over spring break.

He was so afraid that I wouldn't take him to Seaworld his read his way there and back instead. It averaged over 30 minutes every day, all summer long.

We marked his progress on a giant map at the end of each week. It worked really well.

He was just becoming a reader at the end of second grade and I didn't want him to lose interest. He didn't need to know that we were planning on going to disneyland anyway.

[swasat]

I already have a 4 year old DD And no, I am not considering having another one. DD is at Pre-K during the day and otherwise to, because of the gender difference their interests are different. They play together, just not too much.

I do take hime to swimming pool and other places. And he is enrolled in summer camps starting end of June. My problem is keeping him entertained between 8-5 on weekdays because I am working that time.

<sigh> Its the first time I am having to do this so I am at a loss.

[swasat]

Jun 8, 2012 17:37:50 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

I don't have school-age kids, can I make a suggestion anyway?

Sure Lena. More the merrier

[kittensaver]

This was a LONG time ago, but I sat down with mine and had an honest conversation that went something like this: I want you to have a fun summer, but I can't be here all the time and I'm not able to spend all of my time entertaining you. This is a good chance for you to learn to entertain yourself. I would like for you to grow up and be a happy person that is interested in the world around you. We should put a list together of the things you like to do or would like to learn to do so you don't have to feel bored.

And that's what we did. There was simple stuff on there (read, play on the swings, play cards, walk the dog, visit friends, paint, draw, ride a bike) and more complicated stuff (learn to bake cookies and make spagetti (!!)). The list kept growing over the summer. We posted it in her room, and every time she started complaining about being bored I sent her back to the list to pick something. She became a voracious reader and filled up an entire spiral-bound book of drawings. She also made new friends. She ALSO knew her alternative to complaining she had nothing to do was to be assigned a house cleaning chore :-O.

Good luck to you!

[swasat]

Good idea kittensaver. I could always use some help around the house ;D

I am going to steal the idea about making the list. I have him enrolled at the summer reading program at the local library. So he is reading during the days. I'll probably buy some art and kraft kits for him from the art store.

Its only till the end of June. Then he goes to the summer camp. Does that make me a bad mom?

[Abby Normal]

Jun 8, 2012 17:46:49 GMT -5 swasat said:

Its only till the end of June. Then he goes to the summer camp. Does that make me a bad mom?

No, he'll probably have more fun!

[whoisjohngalt]

I would make him make a list of the things that he wants to do inside the house. And than I would make the list of the things that "I" want him to do inside the house. "inside" - meaning not classes somewhere, but your house/backyard. Let HIM use HIS imagination on what he could be doing during the summer. On "my" list I would put - science experiments, craft projects, growing a vegetable, learning about trees and flowers from the yard, collecting xxx different bugs, cooking/baking something etc etc. And I would try to do a thing from his list and a thing from my list.

There are awesome sites with ideas for various projects for kids - crafts, physics, chemistry, random things, etc.

I would also make him do a list of books that he would like to read in the next 3 months- not necessarily titles, but subjects.

full disclosure - I let my boys make as much mess as they want within a certain area, so I would let them experiment with things by themselves with certain things, etc.

I hope this helps just a bit

Lena

[saveinla]

Legos and transformers or whatever toys that he fancies. He will be occupied for some time. I remember my son used to have mock battles staging his power rangers, transformers etc.etc etc. and it was fun to watch.

Then there is reading, coloring, cutting and all the other messy things that they can do without your supervision.

[Apple]

Does DS like castles? Mine found a castle in a craft book made of paper towel, gift wrap and toilet paper rolls of different sizes (I think there was an oatmeal "roll" involved too. He spent some time making a castle of his own and then played with it quite a bit.

We were also able to get a couple weeks out of a large refrigerator box. If you don't need a new refrigerator, see if a store or industrial place near you has a box they need to toss Seriously though, that was a cool "toy".

Another idea might be to let him plan a day out. Give him brochures if there are enough things to do around your area and let him plan everything. The idea is to get him interested enough that his mind changes constantly and he wants to keep looking stuff up. Then go do whatever he planned for one of your weekend days.

[whoisjohngalt]

Oh and I also did a poor-person water table. I bought one of those giant storage boxes in Walmart, filled it with water and told them that they have a pond/sea/ocean. They can filled it up with "fish". Or they can wash dishes in there or they can have a boat race, etc. May be it's a bit too simplistic for a 7 yr, but they can get about an hour of fun with very little intervention from me. And somehow playing with water never gets old

[Apple]

And somehow playing with water never gets old

considering I somehow got involved in a puddle splashing "war" at work last week with fully grown men, I'd have to say you're right

[Deleted]

We call my daughter-in-law the VBS slut.

[Works4me]

VBS slut?

[Apple]

Lol, my mom sent us to lots of VBSs as kids, but she usually did the babysitting so guess she only really got rid of her own children that way.

[milee]

Jun 8, 2012 20:12:06 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

We call my daughter-in-law the VBS slut.

Last year my sister got so tired of having the kids whine all summer she enrolled them in VBS every single week of summer vacation.

[milee]

OK, I'm a tough mom, but I use the carrot and stick approach. I also work from home quite a bit and although we do tons of fun activities, sometimes need a few hours with few interruptions to get some work done.

On the carrot side, there is a ton for my boys to do right here at home from kayaking, to riding bikes, to building and playing in the yard, going to the local park, crafts, lego, games, movies, cooking in the kitchen (my 7 year old makes great cookies), projects, etc.

On the stick side, if either of them starts to complain about being bored, I give them a project to do. It's usually not a fun one. Doesn't take them long to learn not to whine about being bored.

[Sharon]

You can make a cool fort with a blanket over a card table.

[doxieluvr]

Jun 8, 2012 17:41:43 GMT -5 swasat said:

I already have a 4 year old DD And no, I am not considering having another one. DD is at Pre-K during the day and otherwise to, because of the gender difference their interests are different. They play together, just not too much.

I do take hime to swimming pool and other places. And he is enrolled in summer camps starting end of June. My problem is keeping him entertained between 8-5 on weekdays because I am working that time.

<sigh> Its the first time I am having to do this so I am at a loss.

Some kids are just not great self entertainers. My son will play by himself. My daughter has to have constant entertaining. She is doing away camp for a week, swimming lessons, and going to the pool this summer. She is also involved in 4-h and works on projects to enter in the fair.

[Deleted]

Enjoy your summer with your kids. First, let me say there there is nothing wrong with being bored. For some reasons, many parents think their kids shouldn't ever be bored. Being bored is actually a good thing. It allows kids to decompress, have some time to themselves with their own thoughts and they learn how to use their imagination. Most children inherently know how to have fun. Think of how you had fun as a kid. Kids can amuse themselves with most anything. So, i would not worry about his boredom. I actually think periods of that are very good for kids to get away from the pressures of the world that are already put on them.
For you, enjoy your kids! Find some crafts and board games and activities that you can enjoy with them and take time to do those things. And, when you need to get housework and other chores done, start now by enlisting their help. Kids really ENJOY helping. Yes, they might bellyache a bit but it really gives them a sense of accomplishment and mastery. When my kids were younger, i didn't give them chores but eventually i realized that they need them to feel independent, competent and to teach them a sense of caring for one another as a family and not just doing their own thing. Little kids can help you put in laundry, fold laundry, sweep, dry dishes and all kinds of things. They are at an age where they really do want to help so have them jump in on those things with you. Of course, they will have a limited attention span to do those things but they can help.
And, summer passes quickly. Enjoy the lazy days. Put some of the work aside and go to the pool or to the park and have fun.

[973beachbum]

I do take hime to swimming pool and other places. And he is enrolled in summer camps starting end of June. My problem is keeping him entertained between 8-5 on weekdays because I am working that time.

To me this is the problem. If you are actually working from home and need them to not be bugging you this is way too long a time for a 7 year old to last. My son is 9 and going into fourth grade and I wouldn't expect this out of him. I could, but I know both of us would end up frustrated, annoyed and dissappointed.

My suggestion is to hire a teen to be a mother's helper. If you are in the house and it is only for the one child in my area you could get a teen for five bucks a hour. Even if you don't get them the whole time it would be a big help. Maybe ask him to entertain himself in the morning after breakfast and have the helper come after lunch. Just knowing that person there from 12-4 IMO would be a huge help.

Just a thought and I hope it helps. ;D

[Formerly SK]

I agree boredom is a good thing - it gives kids the time/motivation to think creatively about what to do.

Although, I also had kids 18mo apart so I rarely hear "I'm bored" from them. But if I do, I give them a chore to do. It's amazing how fast they can think of something fun to do if a chore is threatened.

I agree with the pp about messes - I also give them free reign in certain areas to do what they please. Clean up can happen later.

[Peace77]

Get a kid's cookbook from the library and help him learn how to made things to eat. He can start with no cooking options such as tearing lettuce for salad, carrot salad, or "Ants on a log" (celery sticks filled with peanut butter or cream cheese and tipped with raisins).

Get grade level activity books from the Dollar, discount or educational store. He can review what he's learned over the past year and have fun too.

Is there a computer that he can use? There's lots of educational activities and games on the Internet.

Expecting a litle kid to keep himself busy for 9 hours is not realistic. Plan to check on him every 45-60 min or so. If not, then hire someone or send him to day care.

[Apple]

I think the teen helper would be a great idea. Maybe if one of his friends has an older sibling, you can have them do it and have him have a friend over at the same time...

[Deleted]

It's such a change of times. At that age I was outside in the summer playing with the neighbour kids. Our parents/babysitters had to call us back in for meals. Rainy days were tv and reading, usually with friends over. I think the mothers took turns hosting. Once a week we would have some kind of outing to a conservation park or the zoo or the beach. And I do remember that age, I remember the friends I had at the time. We moved when I was 5.

[giramomma]

There's also hosting play dates at your house. It seems counter intuitive to have more kids over at your house, but there's two hours right there.

Do you have a list of things your DS can do outside, and can you make a rule of one hour of outside play in addition to the hour of screen time. What about setting up a lemonade stand? Having your DS go through his old toys for a garage sale? The benefit of going through old toys-especially if they have been put away for some time-is that they will be new found treasures again.

I'm also wondering if you can find some activities that both your kids can do. My older two are 3.5 years apart. My 8 yo DS was playing littlest pet shop with his sister for like an hour and a half yesterday. They also go on a ton of fishing adventures ( a DS interest) and be sure to pack food from their play kitchen (right now, the property of my DD)

I'm also wondering if there's any work you can get done off hours. I negotiated a work at home day when my kids were in preschool. By getting up when my DH did, I could get in 1.5 hours in before breakfast. I'd also work an hour or so extra the night before so that I only had to produce 5.5 hours of work that day. I managed to get the rest of the time in while my kids were at preschool and napping. Of course, I was "on" all the time except for when I was driving.

I don't use housework as punishment. It's a fact of life for us (but we also really can't fit a cleaning lady into the budget.)

[cronewitch]

My great niece is a handful since she has down syndrome and constantly wants attention from mom. When she was 10 her mom couldn't get anything done when she was home and the girl wouldn't cooperate in learning math. She hired her 13 year old son's friend to tutor her in math. The girl admired her brother and his friends so would learn from them and since mom was home too she could get housework done.

I don't have kids myself but I would think you need some kind of daycare while you are working. Maybe you could swap with another local family where you keep their kid before noon and they keep yours after noon a few hours or share a babysitter a few hours a day to take them for walks if they aren't allowed to go to parks alone.

[Deleted]

Jun 9, 2012 13:53:52 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I don't use housework as punishment. It's a fact of life for us (but we also really can't fit a cleaning lady into the budget.)

I completely agree. Housework should simply be a part of life for kids and not associated with punishment or reward. I take the approach that we all live here and we all must do our share of work for the good of the home and family.